And Still

Disclaimer: I do not own Case Closed/Detective Conan.

Ran's breath caught in her throat. Her eyes grew wide and she felt the strain of keeping them so, but she couldn't return them to normal. Her heart skipped a beat she was sure. She felt it and the pain of the past caught up inside her chest. She stopped walking and stood frozen. She almost dropped the bag that she held in her right hand, which would have split its contents of fruits and vegetables all over the cold concrete ground. However, somehow she managed to keep her grip. She couldn't believe her eyes. She felt lightheaded. No wonder. It seemed like forever since she last inhaled.

People were strolling past her in their everyday activities. Kids were trying to swindle gifts from their parents or were telling them stories of their day at school. Couples were holding hands as they walked, laughing, and sneaking kisses. Business women and men spoke on cell phones, discussing important matters as their hard heels clicked against the cement ground. And some people weren't doing any of these stereotypical things. However that didn't push away the fact that there was hundreds of people buzzing around her and that there was thousands and thousands of people that lived in this town, and at this time and in this location she saw him of all people.

He was emerging from a little shop about halfway down the street from Ran's frozen stance. The wind swept up his slightly long lacks of hair and he paused for a moment to push his spectacles back onto the ridge of his nose. He seemed so lovely in that moment; so peaceful. She couldn't stop staring at him. She didn't want to stop. To her he was angelic and she did not dare draw her eyes away. He took a look about and tightened his grip on the clothing store bag that he held. He then took a step forward-toward her!- and another step and another.

Realization dawned on Ran. He was coming toward her. Panic rose in Ran's being. She felt it in her stomach, evident by all the butterflies whirling and fluttering about in her midriff. She couldn't bring her feet to move, even though she knew that if she didn't want him to see her she had to move. Still, they just couldn't be willed. She held her breath. He was only a yard a way. Maybe two at most. Oh, how she wished that she could just melt into the ground and disappear! But she couldn't; that was impossible; physically out of the question, but how she wished she could!

He was a foot away now. She still hadn't released her breath and she was suffocating, but she never once thought of letting out the exhale. Hadn't he seen her by now? He must have! He was far too close to have not seen her and if he hadn't perhaps he's glasses needed a more up to date prescription! Thoughts continued to race through her mind. What was she going to say to him? He'd undoubtedly bring up some form of conversation, wouldn't he? Unless he was ignoring her on purpose and did not intend to speak to her at all. Nonetheless if he did see her and was going to talk ,it was too late to run away. He was a mere stride away and no matter how fast she dashed (that is saying her feet broke free of paralysis) there was no way that she could escape his eyes; eyes that saw every slightest clue.

However, to her utter and complete amazement, he walked right past her, without the slightest turn of the eyes in her direction. Her eyes widened and her breath released in pure shock. Didn't he see her? She was right there; right here! How could he had not? Had age affected her so much that she was no longer recognized by him? How she had dreaded seeing him again and would have despised being met by him after all these years, but, on the other hand, her heart was breaking now. She wanted to hear his voice after all these years; talk with him again. Talk with him; hear his voice. Not Conan's; no, instead Shinichi's; the phantom figure without a voice for well over ten years now.

"Ran!" came a call out of nowhere. It was that long forgotten voice; a long lost memory; a lost feeling deep inside her heart. Then it occurred to her that it wasn't a memory, it was real. He was calling her. And that fact shocked her even more.

Without a second thought she shot around. Her feet moved by themselves, willed by the pull of his voice. And in a split second she was looking straight into his eyes; those gorgeous eyes. Once again her breath caught in her thought and speech escaped her. She swore the world had stopped moving around her. People were still; no longer moving. Their conversations had stopped and strides came to a halt in mid-step. That must have been so, because all there seemed to be was her and him.

He wore a big grin on his face, showing her his two full roles of glistening white teeth. He stared at her through his black rimmed glasses, but she was looking right past the spectacles. They were not even there in her view. All she saw was the face of the boy from her past; the boy that had been in her dreams for so many years. And at that moment all she could think about- all she wanted to do was stay in that moment for eternity; just infinitely stare into his eyes, eyes that were gone from her gaze for far too long.

Suddenly arms wrapped around her and pulled her close to him in a tight embrace. Her eyes widened to their full extent. She felt his hands placed on her back, on top of her sea of hair. She gasped. Was it internally or externally? She couldn't tell. Her mind was swarming. Thoughts weren't occurring properly. Everything within her mind was bombarding her at once. When was the last time she had been this close to him? That was the strongest of the thoughts and it was the only one she could answer: never. And then she heard him whisper in her ear in a sincere, heartfelt voice, "I've missed you." She swore her heart stopped. It must have, because surely she couldn't be alive. No way. Not if she was hearing those words from him. Her lips shook in an attempt to respond; to tell him that she, too, was so glad to see him and she had missed him so much. "Oh, Shinichi," she longed to call.

"Conan!" a voice cried out in a cheerful and loving tone. Immediately the man let go of Ran and turned to the owner of the shout. The moment between them ended all too fast and Ran didn't want it to ever end. A grin stayed plastered on his face. Ran knew that voice, but from years of maturity it was almost completely foreign to her, yet in a tiny amount she recognized it. And with that recognition her heart instantly began to crumble. That warm feeling was no longer present. And if she wasn't so shocked she knew a frown would have instantly fallen to her features.

She heard her dear beloved's full hearted call back to the girl. Even though he had turned away from her, his voice didn't betray the huge smile that she knew was surely on his face. He waved his hand in the air to call her over as he shouted, "Ayumi! Look who it is!"

Ran's heart ached as the young woman hurried over to them. Her heels clicked against the sidewalk with each step like a countdown to a time bomb. Each step closer was another tick of the timer of the bomb that would explode and destroy Ran's heart. The older woman was frozen to the ground, as if her shadow was pinning her there. Oh, how she loved him, but she wasn't the only one who did.

Ayumi came to a halt next to him, her soft, brown hair flowing with her as she stopped. They smiled at each other, embracing each other's gazes. Ran felt a knot tighten around her heart. She felt sick. Then the younger woman turned to her. Her eyes were bright and lively and her smile true and full of happiness at seeing a old friend.

"It's so good to see you again," she said and gave Ran a big hug. Ran didn't know what to do. Her feelings were confused. She hated this girl for taking him away from her, but then she couldn't hate the little girl she used to know. Somehow she managed to hug the girl back and gave the best smile she could muster. But inside that time bomb had all ready exploded. As soon as Ayumi had smiled at her she had heard the timer go off and felt the explosion.

As the girl pulled away, a gold shimmer caught Ran's eyes. And with a stab to her heart she realized what it was: a gold ring; a wedding ring. With a quick glance to the man's left hand she confirmed that he wore one also.

Crumbling. That's what her heart was doing. She needed to leave, but she was rooted to the spot. She didn't want to leave him. Not after finally seeing him again.

She continued to stare at the ring. How could she had forgotten that detail? Why could she let her old feelings for him resurface? It was hopeless to love him. Absolutely hopeless. His heart belonged to another. It was proved by that golden band. How could she had forgotten that wedding which she refused to attend because she knew her heart would not have been able to handle that she was not the one in the wedding dress dancing with that specific groom? How could she had forgotten that she didn't go because she didn't want to feel like this?

"It's been a long time," she somehow managed to choke out. She hoped her voice didn't display her disappointment. It must have been loyal to her, because the two did not seem to notice. They agreed with her and in matter of a split second Ayumi began leading them down the path of old memories. They laughed at old events from the times they all shared together: their adventures; their mysteries. Ran barely managed to laugh each time. She was dying. It wouldn't be long until her heart gave out. The two seemed so happy together. Shouldn't she be happy for him having found that happiness; having found love? But for whatever reason she couldn't be happy. She just couldn't manage it.

It must have been nearly an hour into their chat when Shinichi interrupted and announced, "We better go. It's late." He read his watch as he spoke. Ran nodded. It had to end sometime. The pain needed to end. The happiness needed to end. He smiled at her. "It was so good to see you."

"You too!" she somehow said. "Goodbye." Her tone was such a lie to what she really felt.

It was only a manage of seconds before they made their departure, hand in hand. Ran stood where she was, still unable to move. Tears began to flow from her eyes. She couldn't stop them and she didn't try. Everyone was walking past her, but she didn't notice. Her world had stopped. Her heart was feeling the aftermath of the explosion and with all great disasters it would take a while to rebuild. And it occurred to her. She loved him, yes, but she didn't love who was now. She loved Shinichi. He was no longer that person. He was Conan. Conan. And it was Ayumi that loved Conan. It wasn't her. She knew that, but then why did it hurt her so much? And still her heart felt like it did those so many years ago.

The tears fell silently down her cheeks onto the dark shadows that pinned her to that spot and the past.

The End

This story was based on Reba McEntire's song And Still. I liked the song and I thought this sort of represented Ran and Shinichi and Ayumi in a possible future. I wanted to write a story that was the opposite of Nostalgia, in that Ran and Shinichi didn't live happily ever after. I wanted to show that in this time it was too late to get back together. So this represents the tragedy I didn't write before. I hope you have enjoyed my story! Please review.