I do not own Twilight. All rights belong to Stephanie Meyer.
This story is set in an alternate universe. It features certain key events from the original series that you may recognise. Do not assume that they have the same meaning or significance.
The characters, though mostly recognisable, are OCC. Remember this, as they do not have the same motivations as the characters they are based upon. If you like the characters the way they are and think they should remain that way then this may not be the fic for you.
WARNING:
This story will contain explicit language, graphic violence, and possibly other morally questionable content. If you are not a fan of this, I apologise, but it is in keeping with my characters.
Absently, I gazed at the ring adorning my left hand. Three carats had never seemed so heavy. My life was no longer my own, instead it was simply laid out before me. I would marry Edward. He would change me into a vampire. We would then live a long, and blissfully happy existence. It was decided by the mind reader, verified by the seer. Alice and Edward were delighted to have the future so fully mapped out for me. It was a shame that I didn't share their enthusiasm. If there was one thing I had learned in my short time in Forks, it was that fairy-tales did exist. The happy ending just came with a price. In my case, the price was a family heirloom on my finger and an endlessly extravagant wedding that I refused to even plan. The price for immortality was holy matrimony. It was ironic, coming from a being who believed himself dammed.
I wrestled the wring off of my finger. It was smothering me. Carelessly I slammed it down upon my bedside table. The ring was priceless, probably worth millions, yet I resented it with all of my being. Marriage was something that I didn't want at 18, if ever. Edward knew this, yet he had still asked and I had still said yes. I wanted immortality, and that was his condition. But it was more than just immortality. I had found a place where I belonged for the first time in my life.
The Cullen's were the family that I had never had. It would be fair to say that I was as much in love with the family as I was with Edward. They provided all the stability and security I had longed for as a child caring for an unstable, erratic mother. I had never felt so safe, or so loved. Carlisle and Esme were everything a child could wish their parents to be, kind, attentive, and affectionate. Emmett was the stereotype of an older brother, teasing and joking, but with a big heart. He was my favourite, having always wanted a brother. In the relatively short time I had known her, Alice had become the best friend I had ever had. Sure, I had to endure the endless makeovers and constant fashion critiques, but I loved the energetic little pixie. Then there were the two members of the family with whom I wasn't well acquainted. Emmett's wife Rosalie had never hid her dislike for me. She disagreed with my choices, and I respected her honesty. I hoped she would warm to me more after the change. It wasn't like I was going anywhere. Jasper was a curiosity to me. He stood out from the family, somehow separate from the unit. I could count on my hands the number of times he had spoken to me. Often I wondered if he even registered my existence. After my disastrous birthday, Edward had been careful to keep us separate.
I had an amazing future waiting for me. I had a wonderful family who I could be with for eternity. I had a boyfriend who was devoted to me, who would love me for the rest of my existence. So why was I not grateful for any of it?
Already frustrated, I got out of bed and slipped into an Alice approved outfit. I didn't care what it looked like, nor did I care that it doubtlessly cost more than triple my monthly wage. Ready to leave, I walked to the door and stopped. Reluctantly, I glanced back to where the wring sat abandoned on my bedside table. It gleamed in the weak sunshine, mocking me. Edward would be so hurt if he saw I wasn't wearing it. The guilt didn't recede until I dashed across the room and slid the ring back on my finger. It belonged there, if I was strong enough to bear it.
Silently I stared out of the window, watching the sun play out over the perfectly groomed garden. Everything about this house, and its occupants was perfect. Then there was me, dull, plain, boring. It was clear that I didn't belong with these people. One day I would. My eyes kept fixing upon Jasper who sat in the garden, his face tilted towards the sun absorbing its warmth. The light reflected off of him in rays, dancing across the grass. He was beautiful.
"What are you looking at, love?" Edward asked. I hadn't heard him approach. These days I was used to it. When he saw what I had been watching, his lip momentarily curled in disgust, before smoothing back into his usual charming grin.
"Don't you enjoy the sun?" I asked impulsively.
"I enjoy its warmth," he answered reluctantly.
"Then why do you hide from it?" I wondered, "I can recall maybe three times that I've seen you in the sunlight. Most of your family I've never seen outside when the sun is out."
"Look at him," he gestured towards Jasper, "It's not natural."
"Not for a human, but for a vampire…" Edward quickly cut me off.
"We try so hard to retain our humanity. The reflection of the sunlight off of our skin is yet another reminder that we are no longer human."
"But it's beautiful," I whispered.
"I don't expect you to understand. You are human, and you take your humanity for granted. When you are one of us you will realise that what I am saying is true."
I took a second to consider his words.
"But Jasper doesn't seem to feel that way."
His lip curled again.
"Jasper is not like my family," he tersely spat out.
"In what way?" I frowned.
"It doesn't matter. Let's go and do something together," he smiled his crooked grin at me, and for the moment Jasper was forgotten.
It was a week later that I had my first real encounter with the most elusive Cullen.
Alice was gushing over wedding plans. As usual, I sat with her nodding and smiling whilst retreating into my mind. Nothing could make me interested in flowers, table cloths, and seating arrangements. It was all so superficial. Why should I go through all of this fanfare to appease society and prove my love? I was beginning to believe that my compromise was a little one sided: I got given the immortality demanded by the Volturi, and Edward tied me to him for the rest of my existence. The idea of boycotting the process and asking the Volturi to change me was looking more and more tempting, especially as Alice began squealing about shopping for wedding dresses in Paris. I nodded, gave her what I hoped was a smile, and then excused myself to get a drink.
"Why guilt?" Jasper asked, suddenly stood in the kitchen.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I smiled at him, before fetching a glass.
"Boredom, resentment, a flash of anger, and then guilt. Why the guilt?" he pressed.
"I should be helping Alice more, not making her plan my wedding," I volunteered.
"Interesting," Jasper stated, almost bored. I looked up at him in puzzlement.
"You're a better liar than I had thought. Perhaps you do belong here after all," with that he breezed away, leaving me short of words.
After a moment I started after him, finding him upstairs sat in his study, feet up on the desk. This room wasn't nearly as perfect as the rest of the house. It could even be called cluttered with all the books and papers haphazardly piled around. He stared at me with an intensity that had me shuffling from one foot to the other uncomfortably.
"Ask your question or leave," he instructed bluntly.
"Your family aren't liars," I stated. He tilted his head, looking at me with interest.
"But you're not denying that you are,"
"I'm not going to defend myself to you," it came out as a whisper, not the defiant tone I was aiming for.
"Then why are you here?" he asked. I was drawn up short.
"You think you're here out of loyalty to the family, to defend their honour," he sarcastically drawled, and I nodded.
"Everyone lies Isabella. It is a fact of life," all of a sudden he was stood right in front of me. I stumbled back, but he caught me by the arm, drawing me closer.
"I don't even have to open my mouth to lie to you," he breathed, his voice hypnotic, "my very appearance masks my nature. My scent draws you in."
His proximity clouded my mind, making it hard to think. He smelt like fresh rain on grass, of outdoors and freedom. My hair was shifted over one shoulder by cold fingers, exposing the length of my neck.
"Tell me Isabella, who is worse. The predator who shows his true nature, or the one who hides it behind humanity?"
"I don't…" I started, only to be distracted by his nose running down my neck.
"At least the first is honest," he told me, lips against my skin. The pressure of his teeth against my neck awoke me from the trance I'd been in. My heart was racing, fear starting to settle in.
"Jasper, stop!" I screeched.
"Much better," he pulled back, smirking "a much more natural response to one of my kind."
"Let me go!" I demanded.
"You are a far more dangerous creature than you know. You draw people in with dishonesty, masked with sincerity. You delude them into thinking that you genuinely care for them. Then you take what you want. Isabella, you will make an excellent vampire," Jasper released me, and I staggered away, resisting the urge to run.
"You know nothing about me," I spat, hiding my fear beneath anger.
"I watch, and observe. You are a dress up doll for Alice, a prankster for Emmett, an apologetic mess for Rosalie, a doting daughter for Esme, and a budding intellectual for Carlisle. For Edward you are a romantic playing into his delusion of star crossed lovers. Who are you Isabella? What to you hope to gain out of this? Do you ever show an honest face, or like us, do you wear a mask to hide your true nature?"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Everyone has motives and secrets Isabella. You'd do well to remember that," he cryptically replied.
I stormed out of his study, grabbing my bag from Alice's room on the way out. She was waiting for me by the front door.
"Leaving so soon?" her perfect face pouted.
"Why didn't you stop him?" I whisper-shouted.
"Silly Bella. Jasper wouldn't have hurt you. I saw it," she giggled, ignoring my attempt at silence.
"But what about all those things he said!" I protested.
"What about them?" she cocked her head, puzzled.
In that moment, I really looked at my best friend for the first time, from her ethereal beauty, to her cold marble skin. She flashed a smile at me, glowing with its brilliance. She wasn't human. Something more or less, I wasn't sure anymore.
"I've got to go," I told her, pushing past to get to my truck.
"But we haven't finished the invitations yet!"
I refused to go back to the Cullen House for over a week. Too stubborn to admit that Jasper had scared me, my reasons were a list of excuses that Edward pandered to. In the safe haven of my house, it was easy to forget the divide between us. Edward kept me entertained with movies, trips to our meadow, and home cooked meals. Until this week, I had not known what a good cook he was. He made too much food, but I ate all of it anyway to show I was grateful. We lived inside of our little bubble for as long as we could, but reality had to burst it eventually.
"You need to hunt," I told him, stoking his face. His eyes had faded from their usually golden topaz to almost black.
"I just worry about you. You know how hard you find it when I'm gone," his fingers combed lazily through my hair.
"I'm an adult. I'm sure I can cope for a day," I assured him.
"If you're sure," he kissed the top of my head.
When I awoke in the morning, he was gone. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I just knew that it would be a great day. My torn jeans and battered plaid shirt probably made Alice cringe as I chose them from the wardrobe. The thought made me smile. I quickly decided that the weather was too good for me to waste the day indoors. With the book from my dresser, I made my way outside, venturing into the woods. After walking for a while I climbed up a tree, an old childhood favourite.
In my tree I lost track of time. These days it was rare that I allowed myself to become so fully immersed in reading. It was rare that I was even able to acknowledge any of my interests. With a sigh, I turned the page.
"It's curious that such a graceless creature on the ground has such poise so high up," the voice called out. I tensed, and closed the book.
"What do you want Jasper?" I asked. Within the blink of an eye, he was perched on the branch before me.
"You've been avoiding me," he stated.
"You were right. You are observant," I stated sarcastically.
"And you are a coward," he replied.
"You want to eat me," I sighed, "its self-preservation."
"Is it?" he challenged.
"Tell me Jasper, do you see me as a person, or as a meal?"
"To a vampire, all humans are potential meals," he informed me, "the few that aren't are turned, usually for a purpose."
"But the Cullen's are different,"
"You want them to be different. That's why you've been avoiding me, because I confirmed your suspicions that my 'family' are not as tame and perfect as you had thought." He sneered.
"They value human life. Why else would they feed from animals?"
"Of course they value human life. How else could you preserve your natural food source?"
"That doesn't make sense, considering that they don't hunt humans,"
"They've all hunted humans at one point or another," Jasper insisted.
"But Rosalie and Carlisle have never tasted human blood," I frowned.
"Rosalie hunted down and killed four men in cold blood. How is that any better than feeding from them? Whilst Carlisle may never have drunk from a human, he is over 300 years old and lived for a portion of that time with the Volturi. Do you honestly believe that he has never tasted human blood, or killed a human?"
"It was in the past. They've changed,"
"How about Edward? Does he protect you like a mate, or guard you like a meal?"
"Edward loves me,"
"You are his singer. Your blood calls to him like no other. It tempts him constantly, and is always on his mind. Most vampires kill their singer immediately. The call is so strong it is not a desire, but a need. Do you think love can overcome that?"
"I think I'm done talking with you," I hopped down from my branch. Jasper followed.
"Why do you think Edward is so against changing you?" he asked, pressing the point.
"He doesn't want to damn us both," I forced out between gritted teeth.
"Surely if he loves you he would want to spend eternity with you," he continued.
"If you loved someone, would you want to destroy their soul?"
"I'd hand it over to the devil himself if it meant that I got what I wanted. Vampires are selfish creatures Bella. For him to be against changing you, there must be something he desires more,"
"He has no choice in the matter. The Volturi will kill us both if he does not change me,"
"Yet he is in no particular hurry,"
"Why are you doing this?" I asked in bewilderment.
"Because there is nothing worse than ignorance,"
"I am not ignorant!" I pushed through the treeline, into my back garden.
"No, you are naïve and that is worse." Jasper casually insulted me.
"Leave. Next time don't come here if all you're going to do is insult me,"
"I didn't come here to insult you," Jasper corrected me, "I heard that you have a death wish. Consider this my offer to fulfil it for you."
Edward greeted me with a kiss that evening, but tensed and stepped back.
"Did Jasper visit you today?" he questioned, forcing a smile.
"Yes," I nodded.
"Did he hurt you?" Edward asked, running his hands down my arms in search of an injury.
"Of course he didn't hurt me," I scoffed, "We just talked."
"What did you talk about?" He asked just a little too casually. I hesitated, not knowing why and lied.
"Nothing much. I think he was just trying to get to know me as we'll be living together soon,"
Edward relaxed a little.
"Carlisle did ask him to do that,"
"You worry too much," I pecked him on the cheek, then turned towards the kitchen. Suddenly he was in front of me, his face serious.
"Bella, he is dangerous. Do you not remember your birthday?"
"Jasper hasn't hurt me. You said Carlisle wanted us to get to know each other, and that is all we are doing. I'm sure Jasper feeds well before seeing me," I replied.
"You don't understand. How could you? You're only human," he remarked, the patronising tone grating on me.
"Explain it to me then,"
"Jasper isn't like the rest of us," he stated.
"In what way?"
"He's a monster!" Edward growled, "He has killed countless humans, and hundreds, if not thousands of our kind. He feels no remorse, and no regret for his actions. He enjoys killing, Bella. Now do you see why I worry?"
My mind was reeling. Though I didn't know enough about Jasper to discern whether this was true, somehow it fit. There was something distinctly predatory about him; it was why he stood out so greatly from the others. Perhaps Edward was right. His brother had offered to kill me.
"I'm sorry. I understand now," I apologised, feeling a little ashamed for doubting him.
"It's alright love," he soothed me, pulling me into an embrace, "You didn't know. That's why I'm here to protect you. What would you do without me?"
"Probably spend my human life tripping and falling out of hospital," I joked.
"Just be careful. Make sure you are around the family when Jasper talks to you. They will protect you in my absence. If anything were to happen to you, I would die."