Disclaimer: All characters are copyright of CLAMP. No monetary profit is being made from the writing or distribution of this fic.

Note: This is based on TRC, yes, but missing bits of information have been filled in using Tokyo Babylon and X/1999.

Prologue

Seishirou had seen a lot of strange things on his travels, but the little one he had finally managed to corner in a dark, dead-end alley was by far the most beautiful. It had taken quite awhile to corner it too, because the flighty little thing was fleet as the winter wind and just as hard to catch. But at last he had it, pressed hard against the raspy brick at the end of the alley, scrabbling at the solid wall in panicked desperation, little hands bloodied by the sharp stone. Now that he could get a good look at it, he could see that the little head of downy black hair was no higher than his waist and framed the most beautiful pair of wide green eyes, damp with distressed tears. Hauntingly beautiful. The tattered shirt and too-thin waist and streaks of dirt couldn't hide the lithe gracefulness of little limbs, and there was something unearthly in the glow of moon-fire skin and quick, flitter-like movements fast enough to leave fading afterimages.

As Seishirou knelt down and extended one hand slowly before him, trying not to startle the little thing, it jerked backward, a sharp hiss breaking the air as that downy head quite suddenly hit the wall with a resounding crack. Seishirou didn't miss the dainty fangs briefly bared by that hiss. His mouth quirked into a smirk.

Interesting. Very, very interesting.

Suddenly thoughtful, he cut his wrist and held it out again, letting the blood blaze brilliant red in the silvery streams of moonlight and drip steadily to the ground, rewarded when those lovely green eyes flicked towards him and then riveted to his wrist with longing.

"You want it, don't you? Come then, I won't hurt you…" Seishirou offered it, watching the little one carefully. It had turned now, still pressed wholly against the brick, but no longer trying futilely to go through it. Those bright eyes flickered from his wrist to his face and back again uncertainly. Oh yes, the pretty thing wanted it alright.

"It's okay," he coaxed, voice low and calming. "You must be hungry… Don't worry. Come on. It's okay." Again that flick of eyes, this time wide and worried and fearful. "I won't hurt you." And finally, finally, after several more minutes of crouching very still and speaking soft, nonsensical things, it stepped away from the wall and then crept forward in a crouch, bloody little hands pressing red handprints to the hard concrete.

"That's it. See? I won't hurt you…" It hovered for a bit just out of reach, wary and wild, before reaching out and taking the offered wrist. And as those tiny fingers wrapped happily around his arm and dainty fangs bit delicately through his skin, Seishirou was taken by the surprising gentleness… and by the steady crawl of pleasure it started deep within him.

"You're just… full of surprises… aren't you?" he whispered, noting the way the little one's eyes had drooped low in ecstasy too. Slowly, he tried to bring a supporting arm around the tiny waist, but as soon as he touched that pale skin, green eyes flew wide and it skittered away timidly, just out of reach again. But it slowly crept back, unable to resist the hunger gnawing away inside, even when good instincts were shrieking to escape. This time it let Seishirou wrap an arm around it, and he drew the little thing closer, fingers tracing the bold contours of bones through the skin under the thin shirt.

"You must be starving…" And somehow he disliked that idea. Something so beautiful shouldn't be allowed to starve to death, to die out alone in the cold, a gleam of white fading in the dark or a snowflake falling to its death on the blacktop. He pulled the little thing even closer, pressing it into the warmth of his embrace, inexorably wrapping it up—like a butterfly being wrapped into the silken strands of a web—while it remained docile and compliant, lapping fitfully at his wrist with quick flicks of a pretty, pink tongue. And once he was sure his hold was secure enough that the little thing wouldn't be able to escape, he petted the fine black strands of hair, hand stilling over that soft spot at the base of the skull—settling there with purposeful finality.

"Well, well, of all things, I never thought I'd run across a little vampire." He chuckled, enjoying the feel of the tiny thing in his arms, thumb rubbing soothing circles along the nape of the neck. Deliberately distracting. Of course, even preoccupied there was no way to miss the sudden stab of heat—the feel of talons marking flesh—or the sharp screech of a bird resounding off the alley walls around them. Far too late, the pretty little thing cried out, a single, startled cry, irrevocably branded by the sharp claws of the bird that was even then settling on Seishirou's shoulder, and collapsed into the solid set of the man's arms. Seishirou grinned, settling limp little limbs against his chest and standing up, contemplating the long walk home.

"I hope you don't mind if I keep you…"

Seishirou woke to a strange, ticklish sensation, and looked down to find the pretty little thing he'd brought home the other night curled beside him, thin arms wrapped contentedly around his longer one, nose nuzzled into the crook of his elbow and tiny pink tongue flicking kitten-like against the softer skin there.

"You know," Seishirou said, reaching out to tug at the fine, ebony hair as a set of diminutive fangs were buried in his arm, "eating nothing but Seishirou is not a very balanced diet." Nevertheless, he couldn't help the smile when he said it, and it was somewhat satisfying to know that he was the only thing something so beautiful needed. For several minutes thereafter, he simply enjoyed the curious caress of a little tongue. And when at last that tongue's owner pulled back to rub the back of a small hand neatly over a dainty nose like a cat washing its face, causing the smudges of dirt and grime marring that fine skin to become very noticeable, Seishirou pulled the little bundle of arms and legs into his arms and swept them into the bathroom. Then he quickly divested his new acquisition of clothes with swift, deft fingers and placed it in the bathtub. It had, after all, been running around barefoot in all manner of filth out on the streets. Rolling up his sleeves, Seishirou turned on the water and ignored the tiny hands batting curiously at his face and bright emerald eyes staring up at him wonderingly.

"You're a bit of a mess, you know," he told those pretty eyes clinically, pinning down the butterfly-like hands and lathering delicate shoulders with soap. The little thing was all too happy to wash off when he was done, splashing around in the water until Seishirou gave up on staying dry altogether and got in as well, clothes and all. And at last, as he worked shampoo and conditioner into fine black hair, enjoying the feel of little legs draped over his knees and green, green eyes once again turned unwaveringly on him, he felt satisfied and content—a feeling that lasted until petite fingers batted once again at his face.

"What?" he asked, staring back down into those wide eyes… only to have the same fingers suddenly pushed into his mouth, causing Seishirou to try not to choke while they traced the line of white, even teeth. A half-confused, half-wondering frown pulled at tiny lips.

"Human," Seishirou replied, removing the fingers. "I'm human. I don't have fangs." This at least seemed to get through, but didn't cause any waver in that green gaze. It still stared up at him, wholly fascinated. Shaking his head, Seishirou reached down and tapped the little nose.

"What are we going to call you, anyway? You need a name…" Thoughtfully, he washed the suds out of black hair with gentle fingers and contemplated the problem. A name. For green eyes and ebony hair and a soft bite. "How about…" And he knew. Suddenly. While he sat there pondering. It came to him. Like a dream he could just barely recall. Like a memory. As if he'd always known. "How about… Subaru?" For a second, those green eyes lit up and small lips curled into a pleased smile. "Subaru, huh?" He held that slim body in his arms and smiled back. "Subaru-kun…" And it seemed suddenly like the future was looking rather bright. Of course, there was still the little matter of meals… But he was sure they'd be able to face whatever problems arose.

Heck, maybe he could teach Subaru to enjoy door-to-door salesmen…

It was worth a shot.

Chapter 1

Unexpected Adjustments

The sun had only just sunk around the edge of the world when Seishirou heard the near-silent creak of the bedroom door. Anyone else wouldn't have heard it at all, but he was used to the unprecedented quietness of his house guest. He smiled.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, an adorably sleepy-looking boy with tousled black hair glided out of the darkness of the hallway and stared at him over the countertop, blinking slowly.

"Good morning, Subaru-kun."

The boy yawned. Then he started slowly around the counter, stumbling sleepily at the last second against Seishirou's side so that the man, just lifting a frying pan off the stove, had to catch him one handed.

"What happened to natural elegance?" Seishirou chided, smoothing down ruffled black hair. His fingers skimmed over the mark at the back of the boy's neck accidentally and then stilled, pleased by the feel of the little indentations there. If he looked, he knew he'd see tiny little black dots, like the smallest bits of ink, under the skin. Subaru stretched into his touch, but Seishirou was already turning away, setting him upright before putting down the pan and pulling out a plate.

There had been difficulties between them the first couple years (well, okay, the difficulties never really stopped), but at least the boy no longer woke up thrashing in the throes of nightmares every night or skittered shyly away at the most innocuous of gestures. Subaru still absolutely refused to go outside though—not that this particularly bothered Seishirou, on the contrary it was rather reassuring, and it had even been a bit amusing at first when the boy would run and hide behind the couch on the other side of the room every time he opened the door. However, all this meant door-to-door salesmen were out of the question. Subaru was absolutely terrified of them—particularly at first, though he had mellowed out somewhat over the years. Seishirou was secretly pleased that he was the only human Subaru seemed to trust.

Gathering his things, Seishirou went to sit down at the table, Subaru trailing after and then watching him with unwavering intensity while he ate. Seishirou pretended not to notice, amused, and wondered if he could prod Subaru into saying something if he was ignored long enough. But by the time he'd finished his meal, the boy was still obstinately silent, staring at him with wounded, emerald eyes. Sighing, Seishirou gave in and held the fork out.

"You don't deserve this."

It was amazing how quickly those eyes brightened. Stretching precariously across the table, Subaru took the tip of the fork into his mouth, tasting it thoroughly from every angle and licking lovingly the fingers that held it before retreating back into his chair with a satisfied sound.

Afterward, Seishirou cleaned the dishes, contemplating his silent companion. The boy had such a lovely voice. It was a pity he practically refused to use it. Seishirou enjoyed trying to prod Subaru into speaking, mainly because the boy spoke so rarely. Not because he couldn't, though that had been a problem at first, but because, as he said, Seishirou's way of communicating was "slow" and "ineffective." When Seishirou had asked how he communicated then, Subaru had stared at him intently for five minutes straight till Seishirou had raised an eyebrow questioningly and Subaru had thrown his hands into the air in defeat. And nothing more had been said about the matter.

Finally, Seishirou settled onto the couch, newspaper in hand, and silently counted seconds. Three. Two…

Seishirou hid the smirk when Subaru nudged his way under his arm, curling up contentedly in his lap—a habit that hadn't died even when the feat had become increasingly more awkward as the years passed. Seishirou adjusted the paper he was holding to accommodate and absentmindedly petted the mop of silken hair that had made itself at home there. Luckily, the boy had remained comfortably small, only lengthening into a most pleasing sinuousness, otherwise it would have made things rather difficult. As it was, Subaru's legs hung over the side of his lap rather gracelessly.

He attempted to concentrate on the paper—a difficult feat with brilliant emerald eyes blinking up at him quietly. Then, lazily, those eyes tilted back as the boy stretched up, brushing first a cold nose along the underside of Seishirou's jaw, followed by a little pink tongue—lapping at the more sensitive skin there. Tasting him.

Seishirou wasn't sure if all vampires were as naturally adept with their mouths, or if it was only Subaru. He had been bewildered at first, watching his new guest examine various objects by touch and tongue, unsure as to whether such behavior was childish curiosity or some strange way of finding food. He had watched, curious, intrigued by this new way of identifying objects, not by feel, but by taste.

Of course, Subaru's favorite thing to chew on had always been Seishirou, but there had been phases… One year he'd had to throw out countless pairs of shoes because Subaru had discovered a fondness for leather and suede, and puncture marks were incredibly difficult to explain to coworkers… It was a natural hazard, really. Cat owners put up with paw prints on their windshield and fur around the hem of their pants. Vampire owners put up with perforated shoes, chronic insomnia, and a distinct lack of visitors…

The first and last time he'd allowed someone else inside the apartment—the landlady as it happened—she had been properly mortified when, after watching her warily from behind the couch for half an hour, Subaru crossed over and 'tasted' her quite firmly across the cheek. Seishirou had whirled at the sudden shriek, only to find a very indignant landlady headed for the door and later, a distraught Subaru hiding in the bedroom, face contorted cutely with the realization that rouge and powder tasted rather unpleasant…

Afterward, upset by the lady's distress and the horrible taste still stuck to his tongue, Subaru had wandered over to Seishirou and required much mollification and reassurance. The only amusing thing about the whole affair was the fact that, judging by the funny faces Subaru was still making a week later, he'd never try it on a woman again…

But that had been then.

Seishirou flipped a page in the paper as the boy's slow exploration progressed to the delicate grate of teeth over the tip of his chin. Soft bites. There were days… times Seishirou thought he'd like to be identified by Subaru a bit more thoroughly… Particularly more often of late, now that those little limbs had lengthened into graceful arms and legs with slim hips and soft skin. Even now, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to concentrate on the paper. Even if it was only Subaru's way of showing adoration…

Realizing that the paper was a lost cause, he folded it neatly and set it aside and wrapped his arms around Subaru instead. It was much more pleasant to hold the boy than the paper anyway. Besides, Subaru was more than happy to oblige, pressing himself more firmly against Seishirou's warmth with a contented sigh. He buried his face in the man's chest, breathing in the man's scent, before nosing at one of the arms wrapped securely around him. It didn't take Seishirou long to get the message.

"Breakfast so soon?" Seishirou chuckled, hesitating only a second before twisting his arm upright for the boy, and steeled himself against… that. He suppressed the shudder even as it slunk down his spine at the touch of the boy's mouth against the crook of his elbow. There were very few things that could get under Seishirou's skin—he had always before prided himself on his ability to maintain rationality and composure under any condition, and it had never been a problem before. Nothing had ever previously threatened to fracture that detached resolve. But he had to admit that the seduction of Subaru's bite was definitely getting stronger with time. It had been cute when he was little.

It wasn't cute anymore.

Seishirou held his breath as the fire of it swept along his arm and burned through his body, pressing scalding kisses against the edges of his consciousness. He brought his whole will into maintaining those boundaries, sealing out that scalding touch with shields of carefully kept indifference. It was getting harder lately, that indifference fraying away under Subaru's gentle persistence. Not that the boy was intentionally invasive in any way, but no one had ever been able to get inside him like Subaru could.

The gentle touch of the boy's mouth working at the crook of his arm was distracting. For a bit, he admired half-lidded emerald eyes. For a second, only a second, he lost himself to that contact—to the slow and steady pull, sucking him under. Hypnotic. Then Subaru squirmed a little in his lap. And rationality washed away…

For a second there was nothing between them. No walls. No barriers. Everything was stripped away. Every defense. And in that moment, when Seishirou was totally exposed, Subaru reached out and touched him. Not like the hands still wrapped around his arm, physical and solid, but a mental touch, light as a kiss, but with all the heat of an ember. And the scalding passion in that simple gesture consumed him.

A second— that was all it took.

The next second, Seishirou had a grip on that ebony hair, jerking the boy back, those emerald eyes flying wide. Then he was kissing those blood-stained lips, pushing the boy back down into the cushions. A muffled noise of surprise escaped Subaru as he was pushed down, Seishirou a sudden shadow over him, clutching at his shirt. Physical contact to match the desperate desire singing in his blood.

And just as suddenly, he stopped, stilling in mid-motion, staring down at a pitifully panting Subaru. Amber eyes froze—narrowed dangerously with realization.

"If you ever…" Seishirou hissed, jerking on the handful of hair he was still gripping painfully. "If you ever do that again…"

With cruel suddenness, he shoved the boy away and stood up.

"I have to go out tonight," he said by way of explanation. Only that. Then he slid his shoes on and walked out, ignoring the sad little "Seishirou-san" behind him…

Subaru sat crookedly on the couch, staring after the closed door for a long time, wondering what he'd done wrong. One of his ankles throbbed painfully where it was pinned under him, but he ignored it. Seishirou had been pushing him away more and more frequently, and he could only assume that he was doing something to anger the man, though it had never been so bad that the man had left. Before, when he'd done something wrong, he'd wrapped his arms around Seishirou's waist and buried his face in that soft shirt, and the man would sigh and run fingers through his hair and tell him it was alright. But now… now, when he tried to fix it—offering apologies in the only way he knew how—he was only pushed more roughly away. It hurt. And anyway, nothing quite like that had ever happened before. And he didn't know what to do…

Of course, the man was often a conundrum. But then, that was most likely due to his lack of experience with humans. His early memories were vague and fuzzy at best, but he distinctly remembered that his parents had guarded him fiercely from contact with such beings. With good reason. The memory of brilliant fire lapping at smooth skin, worried shouting over the deafening roar, chased down endless dirty alleyways… He shuddered and shoved the memory aside. He was safe now. Safe with Seishirou. A human.

A very confusing human at times.

He was not unaware of the side effects of his bite—maybe not the exact semantics, but at least he understood that it was a pleasant thing, and before he had always been content knowing that Seishirou was enjoying it too. Everything had to be paid for one way or another, so it seemed fair to pay for the man's kindness with pleasure. But… But there had always been some part of Seishirou that remained unmoved, that wouldn't give in to it. Lately in particular the man had seemed more and more distant.

Subaru didn't like that at all.

It didn't make sense. It was unfair that Seishirou should do so much for him while rejecting Subaru's thanks. The rejection hurt. But maybe, he'd thought, maybe it was just a matter of showing the man what he was missing. And he had wanted so bad to show him, to be able to give Seishirou something wonderful in return.

So he'd intentionally reached out, intentionally tried to convey that desire through their contact, the only way he knew how to show it. Like this, he'd thought. This is how much I care about you. Do you see it?

But instead it had gone all wrong. He'd upset Seishirou. Instead, he had… broken something. He didn't know what exactly it was or how it had happened, but for a second… for a second he thought he'd felt… Seishirou. Not the Seishirou that smiled at him and held him and offered him funny things like forks, but the real Seishirou. Everything that the man really was.

And it had been beautiful.

Hours later, the sky outside the window was brightening and still Seishirou hadn't returned. In absence of the man's presence, Subaru curled up forlornly on the man's bed, burying his face into the mattress to get as close to him as he could.

When that did nothing to soothe the ache inside, Subaru threw one of the pillows across the room in frustration. If he weren't different… If he weren't what he was… none of this would have happened! If he were human, Seishirou wouldn't hate him now…

Trembling with sudden self-loathing, he tore at his arms, raking at that perfectly pale skin with disgust. It made him different from Seishirou, and he hated it. Hated it! Warm wetness stung his eyes, catching in glittering droplets along his lashes. And he hated that too. But then blood welled up in the welts along his arm, running red down to his elbows. Seishirou's blood. And the thought halted him. Seishirou had given it to him. He was wasting something precious Seishirou had given him.

Dismayed, he licked at the tortured skin, twisting his arm so as to not let a single drop fall. Gently, as if with the man himself, Subaru washed the wounds clean, but the thought lingered…

If he were human, Seishirou would be with him still.

Sniffling miserably, he curled his hand over his face in shame.

Forgive me, Seishirou-san. I only wanted to help…

By the time Seishirou returned, Subaru was already sound asleep, curled up in a little ball. For the longest time he simply stood there and stared down at the boy wordlessly, contemplating their latest complication. When he had made the decision to permanently keep the boy, he had known there would be difficulties. He just couldn't have guessed how right he was.

If it wasn't one thing, it was another. If it wasn't dealing with nosy neighbors, it was keeping Subaru from chewing on anything important while his little teeth loosened and were replaced. He could still remember how the boy had come running in to show him, panicked, and had burst into tears when Seishirou, upon figuring out what the fuss was all about, had started laughing and been unable to resist telling him he was going to start losing them all now. Things had been easy then. He'd thought they'd hit the worst of it the day he'd realized Subaru could pick up on some of his thoughts. That had been disconcerting enough.

He'd been wrong.

This was far worse.

Maybe it was a natural consequence of maturing, evidence that the boy was growing up on him again. Sure, he'd been more wary of the boy's bite lately, keeping him at a greater distance, but he'd never expected… Certainly, Subaru had never before been able to shatter his shields like that and break into his mind. When he'd come back enough to realize what had happened, that he'd lost control, that the boy had invaded his privacy, even accidentally, it had been infuriating. Having another person inside of him like that, touching his mind, knowing him. Without permission.

But by far the worst part was how absolutely wonderful it had felt.

He had wanted to lose himself. And that… that was dangerous.

Seishirou's eyes narrowed. He had no way of knowing whether this new ability of Subaru's was going to be a permanent problem or not. Maybe this was only the beginning. Maybe it would even get stronger.

Seishirou wished suddenly that they could go back to the simple days, when all he had to worry about was finding a pair of shoes to wear in the morning with minimal fang damage.

Watching the boy's sleeping figure, Seishirou's expression softened and he reached down and brushed strands of hair away from one lidded emerald eye. Subaru made a sleepy sound and buried his nose further under his crossed arms, yawning cutely. Totally innocent. Seishirou smiled. He was pretty sure Subaru would never have intentionally disturbed his privacy, but that just meant he had done it by accident. He could do it by accident. Which meant it could happen again.

There were things… things he'd done, things he'd thought, he didn't want the boy knowing about. His mind was private, and no one was allowed in. Not even Subaru.

Seishirou sighed, grateful the boy was asleep. He couldn't talk to him yet. He needed more time. It would be good to go to work, to get away for a while and think about the situation in peace and quiet, where there wouldn't be a pair of worried emerald eyes watching him. There would be time to confront him later.

"Subaru-kun… Whatever are we going to do with you?" Smiling ruefully, he rubbed at that special, sensitive spot under the boy's chin that he liked so much, gratified when, even full-out asleep, Subaru practically purred. Yes, they could talk when he got back. After all, it wasn't like Subaru was going anywhere…

Subaru woke up again the following evening feeling warm and vaguely comforted. Seishirou wasn't beside him, but that was normal—the man was always up and about before him anyway. Besides, the covers had been drawn up over him and the man's scent still clung to the blankets. Subaru bunched them up into his arms and buried his face in the fabric happily before bouncing to his feet and hurrying into the hallway. He would apologize to Seishirou; he would explain that it had all been an accident. Everything would be all right. But as he bounded into the living room, he slowed in confusion.

Seishirou wasn't there.

Only momentarily stymied, he hurried to check the bathroom, and then less certainly, the other room back down the hall.

"Seishirou-san?" he queried hopefully. When this too yielded no Seishirou, he felt cold panic threaten to suffocate him. He was alone. Seishirou had left him alone. And on the heels of that thought, quiet hysteria. Seishirou had been upset, maybe he had left him forever…

He didn't realize he was slowly backing up out of the room until he hit the wall outside and jumped, startled. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to calm down and think rationally. Seishirou wasn't there. Sure, he'd never left for such long periods of time before. Sure, he'd always before mentioned if he was going to be gone. But then, the man had seemed quite upset the previous night, so maybe he'd just forgotten… Or maybe he was so disgusted with Subaru that he didn't even want to look at him.

Anxious, Subaru sat down on the windowsill in the living room, staring forlornly at the strange people on the streets below and feeling as cold as the moonlight splashing his skin a startling silver.

"Seishirou-san," he whispered miserably.

They'd had ups and downs before of course. There had been the time for instance that Subaru had discovered he could read Seishirou's mind. Well, not in so many words. It had only been little things at first. Impressions. He would hand Seishirou something the man had been looking for before being asked, or he'd know when the man was particularly tired and needed to sleep. Subaru had liked that—he'd felt useful then. But as he'd gotten older he'd started to pick up on more complete thoughts further and further away until it had become embarrassing and had started bothering Seishirou.

There had been days then when things had been tenuous between the two of them, and Seishirou still sometimes looked at him suspiciously, but even that hadn't been so bad. At least Seishirou had still talked to him and held him then. Now… Now Subaru wasn't sure he ever would again.

The only thing he knew for sure was that the problem had something to do with him taking Seishirou's blood. But if he couldn't take Seishirou's blood… Watching the people down below, he realized suddenly that there was only one way to fix the problem. He had to show Seishirou that he wouldn't be a burden.

He had to go out…

Author Note: Out of all the bits and pieces I showed my LJ friends, this was the fic that was most requested. I have to admit, so far I like this fic's Subaru more than any of my others. He's just a tiny bit more assertive. On the other hand, now I've still got Seishirou off kilter, a little nicer than I picture him. Of course, things aren't going to remain cute for long. We're going to slide into serious angst soon. I also might have taken some liberties with Sei's bird companion. ^^, I could find so very little information on it...

And if I ever get the next chapter finished, Subaru tries out this communicating-with-a-human thing and gets to witness some of his nightmares up close and personal.

If you're reading this, what's your favorite part?