WHAT? Castiel disappears and reappears with bruises and there's NO explanation? And then when asked how he is, Castiel says "FINE" and nobody talks to him for the rest of the episode? Quoi?! "Fine" is not good enough for me. Kripkie, I demand better.
FOR THE RECORD: I do not own Supernatural.
Set immeaditly after the game show.
Same Thing We Do Every Night
"Who the deuce are you?"
Castiel blinked his eyes open. In front of him was a small toddler in red overalls poking at him. "What?"
A large white dog, that to Castiel's dismay was standing, put his hand on the child's shoulder. "Stewie stop poking him."
Stewie glared at the dog. "Oh come on Brian, you know perfectly well the fat man won't allow me to have anymore strangers in here. I'm just trying to figure out where he came from."
Castiel stood up groggily and straightened his tie. "Uh, what is going on?"
Brian looked at the tall blue eyed strange. "Why don't you tell us? God, I need a drink…"
Stewie grabbed Castiel's hand and led him out the door. "You," Stewie looked up at him, "are coming with me."
Castiel looked down at him. "Small child, I don't know what you're intentions are but I'm leaving."
Castiel yanked his hand away and marched down the stairs. Stewie glared as Castiel went down the stairs. He grabbed his bat and jumped down on him. Brian ran after Stewie, who was beating Castiel's shoulder. "Get it off!" Castiel yelled.
Brian tugged on Stewie's flailing leg and pulled him down. Castiel glared at them. "Leave me be. I am on a very important mission."
Stewie stood up and squinted at him. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm telling Lois!" he said as he ran to the kitchen.
Castiel rolled his eyes and opened the front door to leave the twisted suburbia. To his amazement on the front lawn a very fat was getting beat by large yellow Chicken. Before Castiel could say anything the Chicken noticed him.
"Erm, hello?" Castiel tried.
The Chicken let go of Peter's shirt collar and let him fall down unconscious. The Chicken marched over to Castiel and punched him in the face.
Castiel's head snapped back and blood spurted from his nose. He stumbled backwards as the Chicken advanced. Castiel regained his balance and reached for the lamp on the coffee table.
Swinging it wildly he brought it down across the Chicken's beak. The Chicken kicked out at Castiel and sent him flying through the window. Castiel landed next to the fat man. Rolling the unconscious man aside, he picked up a lawn gnome. Chucking it at the Chicken he hailed a taxi while the yellow beast was distracted.
Recovering from the gnome that had hit his head, the Chicken grabbed Stewie's tricycle and sped after the taxi.
Castiel panicked as he looked in the review mirror and saw the approaching Chicken. The Chicken pulled out his gun and began to aim for the tires of the taxi. The taxi swerved uncontrollably and cashed into the street light. Castiel apologized to the driver and got out. He pulled a large gun out of his trench coat, briefly wondered where he had gotten it from, and showered the Chicken that was coming at him in lead spray.
The Chicken somersaulted off the tricycle and barely avoided the cold shower of bullets. With one injured wing he ran at Castiel screaming. Castiel met his battle cry and lunged forward. Feathers flew on both sides as they pummeled each other in their dance of destruction.
Castiel, filled with fury grabbed the Chicken and threw him onto a truck bed. He jumped onto the truck bed and continued kicking him. To their dismay, the truck driver got in the truck and started. The kick start of the engine made Castiel lose his balance briefly.
The Chicken took this opportunity to a sweep out his leg and make Castiel fall into the truck as well. Castiel face planted the cold metal, making him briefly see stars. The Chicken grabbed his hair and slammed his head down into the metal several times.
Meanwhile on the road, a bus full of nuns had run into a truck carrying dynamite and had created a raging fire that resulted in a temporary road block. The truck driver made a sharp turn to avoid the black, white, and red mess.
As he spun sharply Castiel and the Chicken flew off the bed onto the truck. They rolled down the grass into the motel sign.
Castiel regained steady footing first. He lifted the chicken up by the scruff of his next and slammed the yellow bastard into the Daisy Motel sign. He slumped towards the motel. "I'm so sick of this shit!" he yelled.
He kicked down the door.
There was clapping. He glared at the ceiling and the laugh track.
He relaxed when he saw Sam and Dean. "This thing is much more powerful than any Trickster!" he huffed.
He looked behind him. Out the door he could see the chicken stirring. Knowing his time was short he spoke up, "If it is a trickster at all…"
As Sam and Dean ran towards him to ask about it, he was slammed forcefully into the wall. When he looked up duct tape was firmly on his mouth, and that his brother was tsking at him.
With a flash Castiel felt himself forcefully removed.
Castiel looked around the arid desert where he had been placed. Standing over him was a tall road runner with it's head cocked to one side. "Beep beep!" it smiled before running away from him.
Castiel ripped the duct tape of his mouth and looked around. Next to him was small box that said on it, Acme Explosives…
"What the he--" Castiel started to say before the box exploded.
As he was torn apart by the explosion, he rematerialized as the channel changed.
Castiel stood shakily in the straw filled cage. Looking around, he noticed he wasn't the only one in the cage.
"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?" said the first inhabitant, a tall slender mouse.
"Same thing we do every night, Pinky." Brian said as he looked over at Castiel. "Try and take over the world."
"Narf!" Pinky clapped. "What about him?"
Brain picked up his screwdriver. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Pinky nodded. "Yes, but Brain- where will he get the blueberries?"
Castiel looked around for a weapon as he swore to himself he would never watch TV again. Even if Dean was insisting they watch Dr. Sexy together.
.:To Be Continued:.