A/N: Well, this is my first crossover fic I have attempted. I wasn't really surprised to see two other Star Trek: TOS/House crossover fics, to be honest. I'm just adding another to keep them company. Two's a couple, three's a crowd, and all that jazz....=D
I did this for a challenge on a forum which I'm not sure if it's stale and dead by now(Nobody has done anything for a while, apparently), but the theme was "Two Strangers and a Funeral", where two people of different fandoms have to meet in a place they're both uncomfortable in.
And parts of the fic I had to write, the medical ones, I did some research on, so don't say, "OMG, that's not true!" And the way the medical stuff was written out was from personal, yet second-hand experiences.
Well, here it is. Enjoy!
Opposing Mindsets
"How we ended up like this, I cannot understand." he surmised.
"Neither can I, you hobgoblin." the other remarked sourly.
The two men were joined at the back of the hand, with no glue or adhesive used. They were simply stuck. What made the two men even more bemused, one more than the other, was that they were smack dab in the middle of a carnival. Ferris Wheels, cotton candy stands, the sounds of children screaming. Plus all the stares at the two, one donning a scruffy beard, casual suit, and a wooden cane, and the other, pointed ears and slanted eyebrows and a uniform of sorts, most of the stares at the latter person, like they knew him from somewhere, along with some laughs at the two together. All something these two men didn't enjoy one bit.
"I do not believe calling me names will help solve our problem." Spock said calmly, the noise of the carnival blaring to his sensitive ears.
"Well, then, how do you suppose this happened? I knew I shouldn't have followed Cuddy here. I ended up being mutated with an alien." House sneered, the atmosphere too cheery for his liking.
Ignoring the man's quip at sarcasm, Spock explained, "Well, I was on the transporter, leaving the Enterprise for a mission on Cygnus Three. There was a slight delay before I was transported here, and then I appeared here, adhered to your hand. In my calculations, I had both traveled to the wrong planetary system altogether, I also had traveled back in time to approximately the early twenty-first century."
"Wait. Hold up. This sounds like something out of Star Trek. I never watched the show, but it sure sounds like it." the grumpy man said.
"Star.......Trek?" Spock merely inquired, one slanted eyebrow raising in interest.
"You know, William Shatner and the whole, "Live long and prosper" thing?" House pressed, using his free hand to make the V sign.
"How do you know of the Vulcan hand gesture and the phrase that accompanies it? You are from the past. You should not be familiar of it until at least the mid-twenty first century. And this William Shatner was an accomplished Human actor of the twentieth century. I do not know much more than that." Spock asked, his interest turned to confusion.
"Goddang it, man. You're from the show!" House yelled, becoming frustrated with the Vulcan's smug demeanor about the situation.
"Show?" Spock questioned, very intrigued by what the man was saying.
"Forget it. Just let's find a way for you to get back to whenever you're supposed to be living." House sighed, rubbing his forehead in defeat.
"This time period does not have the capability to return me to the future. I have tools in my bag, but they will be of little use. I have also changed the past just by being here. The future could be severely altered." Spock said.
"Then what about all of the people that saw us just now? It's not like they won't remember this incident, as well. They aren't idiots......most likely." House quipped, pulling out a small, orange bottle of Vicadin, unscrewed the cap, and swallowed three or four pills without water.
"They probably will not. Humans have a rather small attention span, and they will probably equate us to some sort of traveling circus act, and think nothing of it. Also, I had heard of a common practice amongst people of this era, who would impersonate characters from different series that they like by wearing their clothing, their hairstyle, sometimes even using their personality or mannerisms. They will most likely consider me a "cosplayer," the term for the impersonation, and a majority of the people who did this were open to all forms of acceptable sexuality, so they will obviously think of us as in a homosexual relationship of sorts." Spock explained, mentally taking a note that House was an addict to some sort of pain medication.
God, kill me now... House thought. I hope I'm not hallucinating again..then again, maybe I DO hope that.
"So, then, what about me?" House said out loud. "I obviously know of who you are, where you're from, et cetera, et cetera. Do I get my mind wiped by some magic device that you pull out of your bag of tricks?"
"There is no "magic device" that would cause temporary amnesia. We do have medicine to induce amnesia, but I do not have any, as I am not a doctor, I am a science officer."
Suddenly, a thought bloomed in House's head.
"I know what to use, so let's go to the hospital to get it." the man shrugged, assuming that the ever-smarter being assumed he was a doctor.
"Hospital? You are a doctor?" Spock asked.
"Yeah, one of the best diagnosticians in the country, as I've heard. But whatever. Just let's get you out of here," House said, "I'll be glad to see you gone." he added, under his breath.
"As will I." Spock said, his sensitive ears not missing the comment.
As soon as the duo reached the hospital, Spock wisely telling House that they needed to go through the back door to avoid being seen by others, they arrived at House's office.
"Okay. We're going to need morphine." House said, matter-of-factly.
"I know that, at this time in the past, morphine-induced amnesia was currently being tested on rats." Spock reminded.
"I know. But it's the only way to get you back. And besides, you're from the future, you know what happened with those tests."
"You will not remember this, but I do remember Doctor McCoy telling me about something that had to do with morphine safely causing amnesia. We will use your method."
"Okay. First, we'll need to make sure no one is around. We don't need to cause more amnesia than what's already needed." House said.
"I agree." Spock replied. "I do not see anyone, or sense them using my rather limited telepathic prowess."
"Then let's go." House said.
House was lying on a hospital bed in a room sheltered by closed doors and curtains pulled, having already hooked himself up with the IV, with a little help from Spock. All he needed was to start the process.
"I will check for your vital signs after you are unconscious. Then I will try to contact my ship. It will most likely have no effect, but it is a "last ditch" attempt, as Humans would say." Spock explained.
"And if it doesn't work?" House questioned.
"Well, then. I will most likely have to go into hiding. I cannot reveal myself to Earth, as I would change the path of the future. I would live in the desert, as my home planet has desert conditions, which are more preferable. It will be like a permanent trip into the badlands for the Kahs Wan. I will have to survive until my death, whenever that may be."
House didn't know what a Kahs Wan was, nor did he particularly care, but, despite his rather standoffish, uncaring personality, he couldn't let a guy die in the desert.
"Oh, come on! You can't live like that. There's got to be some other way." House challenged.
"There is not." Spock said with little inflection, without question.
"Well, then, I hope this idea of yours works." House said.
"Hope is a Human emotion, which I do not feel. I would, however, prefer success." Spock agreed.
"Well, then. Let's get this going." House said.
"Indeed." Spock replied.
House started the flow of morphine. Slowly, he started to get woozy, and that was where Spock picked up. He didn't know much about twenty-first century medicine, nor did Doctor McCoy, for that matter. But he knew enough to check his vitals every now and again, and eventually, House was out for the count.
Spock checked his heartbeat and checked the monitor for blood pressure once more, and fumbled to get his communicator out of his bag.
He flipped it open, and said, "Spock to Enterprise. Come in, Spock to Enterprise."
Through a good amount of static, Spock made out the voice of Captain Kirk.
"Enterprise to Spock. Where the heck have you been?" Kirk commented.
"I will explain later. Try to beam me up." Spock deadpanned.
"We don't even know where you are. At least tell us that." Kirk replied.
"I am on Earth, in New Jersey, if my calculations are correct, in the early twenty-first century."
"Well, that has to be the worst transporter accident we've had in decades. I don't think even Scotty will understand how that happened. I'll get Scotty to try and find your coordinates."
"Aye, Captain. Spock out." Spock replied.
After taking House off the morphine, and a few minutes after, he felt the unmistakable signs of a transporter beam-up.
The group of adults were sitting around a large table with a viewscreen in the middle.
"How do you presume this incident occurred?" Captain Kirk asked of Scotty.
"Ah have no idea, Captain. Th' bloody transporter wasn't functioning correctly to begin with, and ah feel responsible for this. Ah shouldnae have allowed the transport." Scotty said, guilt written on his face.
"Then why did you do so, when you knew full well that complications might arise, which they did?" Kirk said, giving the man a rather hard glare, as he was quite protective of his First Officer.
"Ah do nae know, Captain. I just.....I assumed that everything was fine." Scotty lied.
Jim didn't miss the lie at all, but he decided to feign so until he could deal with the engineer individually at a later point.
"Well, assumptions make an-" Kirk said, but stopping himself, "Well, you've probably heard the saying."
"Aye, ah have, sir." Scotty agreed, a small smile tugging at the man's lips.
"I'll deal with you later, one-on-one, Scotty. The meeting is closed."
Cuddy wasn't the least bit surprised to see House lying on a hospital bed when she returned from the carnival. She knew he would probably return to the hospital, the place he found himself most comfortable in. What she WAS surprised about was that he was unconscious and hooked up to a vitals monitor, a morphine IV sitting next to the bed.
"God, has he gone off the deep end?" Cuddy muttered, yelling for the nurses to get a stimulant to awake him. She did notice, however, that his vitals read normal across the scale, so her anxiety lessened a bit.
When she stabbed the needle into him, and the medicine reached his bloodstream, House's eyes fluttered, and he groggily muttered, "Where...am I? Who are you?"
Cuddy merely sighed angrily.
"You gave yourself amnesia from morphine?! What the hell is wrong with you?! You know that experiment is only in the testing phase!"
She would have asked why, but she knew it would do no good to ask, since he wouldn't remember anyway. She had a feeling it had to do with his pain, however.
House groaned, a headache pulling at his temples and a slight pain coming from his leg. "God, woman, stop yelling. At least tell me your name first before you drill me."
"Ugh......" Cuddy said, disgusted.
She had a lot of work to do.
Well, it turned out a hell of a lot longer than what was allowed for the challenge. I'll probably edit it quite a bit for it. I hope it's decent. Read and review would be nice!!!