Disclaimer: After all this is over, you'll be happy I don't own Harry Potter and Co. Cause if I did, books 6 and 7 would never come out, the way this is looking.

"Err- does anyone know where we are?" Harry Potter asked, bewildered, looking around at the people who had appeared around him. He had been weeding the garden of Number Four Privet Drive, and had somehow appeared here. To say the least, he was very confused. And there was also the matter that he was in the exact position for weeding, but he was now in scarlet red swimming trunks and holding his wand.

"Harry?" Hermione asked. She had appeared looking like she had bent forward to pick something up, most likely a book. She herself was wearing a swimsuit that was the same color as her Yule Ball dress robes, a periwinkle blue. "It looks like we're at a swimming pool," she said, helpfully.

"A what?" Draco Malfoy said, looking bored. He had arrived on his bum. He most likely had been sitting down. Needless to say, his pride (and his bum) had been bruised. Malfoy was wearing black satiny-looking swimming trunks.

"A pool. Fred and George went to one a couple of summers ago. They said they got kicked out after they glued people's towels to whatever they were on." Ron said. He had came like Malfoy did, but had stayed on the ground, looking around at his surroundings with interest. Ron was wearing bright orange Chudley Cannons swim trunks(needless to say, he was very pleased).

"I remember when that happened! Mum was so mad at them. They looked like they wanted to disappear!" Ginny said. She was in a red swimming suit, and had appeared in what was probably in the middle of a conversation.

"That does not tell me what a pool is, Weasley!" Malfoy snapped.

A snort came from under a tree that was not very far away. "Idiots." a young man's voice said. There was a pause. "What the hell!?"

Harry's head snapped instantly towards the tree. "Riddle." Ginny had paled noticeably at the voice and was quivering slightly.

"Riddle? Who's that?" Malfoy asked irritably. He really did not appreciate anyone calling him, of all people, an idiot.

"He's the one who opened the Chamber of Secrets in our second year," Harry said icily. "But you and your father know him better as Voldemort."

This time it was Malfoy who paled. "You've got to be kidding me, Potter. I've heard the Dark Lord's voice before. That is sure as hell not it."

"The idiot Malfoy is right." Riddle said, coming out from under the tree, as Ginny put her older brother between herself and Riddle. He looked exactly as he had from the diary. He too was wearing swimming trunks, Slytherin green. "This should not be my voice."

"If you're not Riddle..." Harry's eyes flashed. "You're Voldemort!"

"Don't say the damn name!" Ron moaned. Hermione glared at Ron. Malfoy paled even further, looking ash grey.

"It looks like there is a Gryffindor with a brain after all," Voldemort said, looking at Ron with amusement. "But I would certainly like to know what the hell happened and why I am in this damn body again!"

"I can answer that, I think." A girl said, coming through a gate.

The girl wasn't wearing a swimsuit but instead muggle clothing with a cook's apron over it. She was also carrying a bag of charcoal and another of ice. She frowned as soon as she saw Voldemort, in his teenaged body.

"For one, you're already the stuff of nightmares. If I put your actual body in a swimsuit, I'd be condemning everybody to hell with that sight. And also, you weren't supposed to be here at all, but since I couldn't fix that problem, I had to do a compromise."

"Did anyone understand that?" Ron said, blinking.

"It means I'm an author." She said, dryly. Two things happened at that point. Ron hid behind Hermione; and Malfoy, Voldemort, Harry, and Ginny had their wands trained on the girl.

"I doubt that'll work. I had to put a ton of enchantments and authorship into the area to keep anyone from being killed and to keep normal people away."

"Damn." Malfoy said, under his breath.

"What do you mean by normal people? The muggles?" Harry queried.

"Anybody who doesn't get bothered by authors and the like on a daily basis."

"Well, I'm going. I am not sticking around!" Ginny said, vehemently. She started walking towards the gate the author had came through.

"Why Gin?" Ron asked, from behind Hermione.

"Whenever an author comes around, I get romantically entangled with Malfoy, Harry, or Riddle, or I get killed by You-Know-Who or Malfoy. Look who's around, Ron!" Ginny said, angrily. "And to top that off we have You-Know-Who looking like Riddle. So what's that mean? I get killed off by You-Know-Who while falling in love with him at the same time? No thanks."

The author whistled, appreciatively. "I think you should have ended up in Ravenclaw, Ginny. Hm, that's a good idea. But you won't be able to leave though. None of us can. Even me." She smiled. "So, who's up for helping me get the rest of the stuff out of the truck?" Everyone glared at her, at once. "Okay, never mind! I'll just get the rest of the stuff by myself! By the way, my name is the JulyFlame." JF started running very quickly.

=-=-=-=-=

JF: Well, I managed to get a lot of people angry at me all at once.

Voldemort: You sure as hell did. The moment I get out of here you'll wish you were dead!

JF:gulps Guess you won't like the conditions set up, will you?

Everyone else: What conditions?!?

JF: Um, Never mind, that can wait till after I get back with the rest of the stuff! Oh, and please review! The more you review, the quicker I might get on with this, and the more likely I get out of this alive!