What Really Happens to Mort Rainey Afterwards.....
Hey people! This here is a funny sequel to Secret Window. Be easy on me—it's my first FanFic. Please, after you're done, R&R it! Extra corn for all who does. (And who knows?? Maybe I'll be nice and throw in some cans of Mountain Dew!)
DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Secret Window or any of its characters......that all goes to Stephen King. And for the movie, I credit the director.......whoever he may be.......And of, course, I don't own Johnny Depp (but I do have some pretty nice posters of him though ::wink, wink::) ok, is everything savvy?
Oh, before I start, I want you to know that I'm the narrator and instead of putting the boring ol'word "Narrator" down, I'm using my user name "SavvyKiwi". So, "SavvyKiwi" officially means "narrator" now, savvy?
Chapter One: Thinking
(camera zooms in from the sky, onto the beautiful Caribbean water, then out of the mist, the Black Pearl comes into focus.......)
Random Director: CUT!! CUT!! What the hell are you doing?? You're supposed to be writing about Secret Window, not Pirates of the Caribbean!! Wrong movie!!
SavvyKiwi: Why are you telling me what to do? And why is there a camera? I'm not making a movie!!
Random Director: FINE!! Carry on then....
SavvyKiwi: (mutters) People these days........
As I was saying.........or typing.......
(the "camera" zooms in from the sky, onto the beautiful Caribbean water, then out of the mist, the Black Pearl comes into focus and Captain Jack Sparrow appears on the screen....and then you realize that this scene is all on a TV screen in Mort Rainey's cabin. Mort is sitting on the couch eating Dorito's watching Pirates of the Caribbean)
SavvyKiwi: See, you dumb director?? I was going somewhere with this!
Random Director: Uh.......umm.......
SavvyKiwi: OH, YOU GOT SERVED!!!
Anyway, back to the story.........
(Mort Rainey is on his couch, eating, while watching Pirates of the Caribbean, blah, blah, blah, you get the idea......)
Mort: Damn, he's hot!!! (referring to Captain Jack Sparrow)
Obsessed Fan Girls: (drool) You bet he is!!!
SavvyKiwi: (rolls eyes, then flips off TV)
Mort: Hey!! What was that for? It was just getting to the good part!!
SavvyKiwi: It's time to get off of your lazy ass and write another story! You haven't made too much money lately.........
Obsessed Fan Girls: Oh, his ass! She's talking about his ass!! (they faint)
Mort: Fine, fine, I'll write another story......... (mopes up to his loft and opens up Microsoft Word on his computer.)
Chico2: (climbs up onto Mort's lap and Mort strokes his fur)
Mort: What should I write about?
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: You know what to do.
Mort: No, I don't. Why would I be asking if I knew what to write about?
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Think, Mort, think..........
Mort: Hey, did you know that my name means "death" in French? Who woulda thunk? (he says as he picked up a random English-French dictionary.)
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Dammit Mort!! Focus! Write another story on how you killed people!
Mort: Been there, done that. Oh! I know! I'll write an inspirational story for religious people across the nation! (begins typing)
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Since when are you religious?
Mort: (stops typing) I'm not. I'm not allowed within 50 feet of the Bible.
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Then why are you writing about that?
Mort: Cuz Jesus is my homeboy!
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: (rolls imaginary eyes) Oh, puh-lease! Write about something........manly.
Mort: Like.......? (starts deleting his inspirational religious story)
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Like........like your abdomen!! Chicks love muscular dudes!
Obsessed Fan Girls: You bet we do!! (start chanting: ABDOMEN, ABDOMEN.........)
Mort: Damn you abdomen!! (he says as he looks down at his own abdomen) You're officially wasting my time! Speaking of time, what time is it? Jerry Springer might be on. (Wanders downstairs and turns on the TV to find the crowd in the Jerry Springer studio chanting "JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!")
SavvyKiwi: MORT! No one wants to read about you watching TV! You're ruining my story!
Obsessed Fan Girls: We would read about him doing just about anything! He's such a cutie especially with that bed-head of his......
Mort: (annoyed) Then what do you want me to do?
SavvyKiwi: (to no one in particular) Any suggestions?
Obsessed Fan Girls: Get naked!
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Write another story about how you killed people!!
Chico2: Whoof!
Random Person: Go on a date!
SavvyKiwi: I like that suggestion.....the last one, that is.
Obsessed Fan Girls: (groan, stomp out of the theater, but then hurry back in because they don't want to miss anything)
Mort: But with who?
SavvyKiwi: With the next person who knocks on your door.
Mort: FINE! (lays down on couch, then takes off glasses, and falls asleep)
Hey people! This here is a funny sequel to Secret Window. Be easy on me—it's my first FanFic. Please, after you're done, R&R it! Extra corn for all who does. (And who knows?? Maybe I'll be nice and throw in some cans of Mountain Dew!)
DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Secret Window or any of its characters......that all goes to Stephen King. And for the movie, I credit the director.......whoever he may be.......And of, course, I don't own Johnny Depp (but I do have some pretty nice posters of him though ::wink, wink::) ok, is everything savvy?
Oh, before I start, I want you to know that I'm the narrator and instead of putting the boring ol'word "Narrator" down, I'm using my user name "SavvyKiwi". So, "SavvyKiwi" officially means "narrator" now, savvy?
Chapter One: Thinking
(camera zooms in from the sky, onto the beautiful Caribbean water, then out of the mist, the Black Pearl comes into focus.......)
Random Director: CUT!! CUT!! What the hell are you doing?? You're supposed to be writing about Secret Window, not Pirates of the Caribbean!! Wrong movie!!
SavvyKiwi: Why are you telling me what to do? And why is there a camera? I'm not making a movie!!
Random Director: FINE!! Carry on then....
SavvyKiwi: (mutters) People these days........
As I was saying.........or typing.......
(the "camera" zooms in from the sky, onto the beautiful Caribbean water, then out of the mist, the Black Pearl comes into focus and Captain Jack Sparrow appears on the screen....and then you realize that this scene is all on a TV screen in Mort Rainey's cabin. Mort is sitting on the couch eating Dorito's watching Pirates of the Caribbean)
SavvyKiwi: See, you dumb director?? I was going somewhere with this!
Random Director: Uh.......umm.......
SavvyKiwi: OH, YOU GOT SERVED!!!
Anyway, back to the story.........
(Mort Rainey is on his couch, eating, while watching Pirates of the Caribbean, blah, blah, blah, you get the idea......)
Mort: Damn, he's hot!!! (referring to Captain Jack Sparrow)
Obsessed Fan Girls: (drool) You bet he is!!!
SavvyKiwi: (rolls eyes, then flips off TV)
Mort: Hey!! What was that for? It was just getting to the good part!!
SavvyKiwi: It's time to get off of your lazy ass and write another story! You haven't made too much money lately.........
Obsessed Fan Girls: Oh, his ass! She's talking about his ass!! (they faint)
Mort: Fine, fine, I'll write another story......... (mopes up to his loft and opens up Microsoft Word on his computer.)
Chico2: (climbs up onto Mort's lap and Mort strokes his fur)
Mort: What should I write about?
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: You know what to do.
Mort: No, I don't. Why would I be asking if I knew what to write about?
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Think, Mort, think..........
Mort: Hey, did you know that my name means "death" in French? Who woulda thunk? (he says as he picked up a random English-French dictionary.)
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Dammit Mort!! Focus! Write another story on how you killed people!
Mort: Been there, done that. Oh! I know! I'll write an inspirational story for religious people across the nation! (begins typing)
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Since when are you religious?
Mort: (stops typing) I'm not. I'm not allowed within 50 feet of the Bible.
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Then why are you writing about that?
Mort: Cuz Jesus is my homeboy!
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: (rolls imaginary eyes) Oh, puh-lease! Write about something........manly.
Mort: Like.......? (starts deleting his inspirational religious story)
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Like........like your abdomen!! Chicks love muscular dudes!
Obsessed Fan Girls: You bet we do!! (start chanting: ABDOMEN, ABDOMEN.........)
Mort: Damn you abdomen!! (he says as he looks down at his own abdomen) You're officially wasting my time! Speaking of time, what time is it? Jerry Springer might be on. (Wanders downstairs and turns on the TV to find the crowd in the Jerry Springer studio chanting "JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!")
SavvyKiwi: MORT! No one wants to read about you watching TV! You're ruining my story!
Obsessed Fan Girls: We would read about him doing just about anything! He's such a cutie especially with that bed-head of his......
Mort: (annoyed) Then what do you want me to do?
SavvyKiwi: (to no one in particular) Any suggestions?
Obsessed Fan Girls: Get naked!
Mort's Voice-Inside-His-Head: Write another story about how you killed people!!
Chico2: Whoof!
Random Person: Go on a date!
SavvyKiwi: I like that suggestion.....the last one, that is.
Obsessed Fan Girls: (groan, stomp out of the theater, but then hurry back in because they don't want to miss anything)
Mort: But with who?
SavvyKiwi: With the next person who knocks on your door.
Mort: FINE! (lays down on couch, then takes off glasses, and falls asleep)