Ann sat at her kitchen table while her mother made dinner, it was one of those rare nights where her mother arrived home before she went to bed. She was cheerfully writing in names on her 'Great Minds of Science' Valentine's Day card series. She had bought them at the store and couldn't wait to give them out to everyone tomorrow at school. She smiled as she wrote Nate's name on a card with Charles Darwin that said, 'Naturally, I select you.' She smiled and chuckled at the pun. "There, all finished!" She said, "I've got Valentine's cards for everyone!" Her mother let the pasta boil in the pot on the stove and looked down at the cards on the table top while Ann went to collect her satchel so she could put them inside so she wouldn't forget them. She counted nine that were filled out and frowned. When Ann returned with her satchel and carefully slipped them inside an inside pocket her mother asked, "Are you quite sure you've gotten everyone?"

Ann paused, then pulled out her cards and reread the names written on each of them.

She had An, Anny, Nate, Jenny, Plankette (she didn't want to make Jenny upset that she forgot her best friend), Rachel, Karen, Jamie and Sam. Eight people and one hunk of wood, nine cards. Who could she be missing?

Noticing the look of confusion on her daughter's face, her mother then said, "Those three boys who live in that trailer park nearby, you forgot their cards." Then turned back to the pasta, missing her daughter's look of surprise and utter shock that she'd even suggest that.

Ann hadn't forgotten the Kankers, (she wished she could, though) she just knew that giving them something, on Valentine's Day no less, would simply validate their delusions that she and her friends were their girlfriends and would make her and her friends more likely to receive unwanted affection back in return and probably more often from that point forward. She looked down at the table, her card series had come in a pack of twelve, so she had three cards left over, so she couldn't say she didn't have enough cards because;

A.)That would be a lie and she'd never lie to her parents.

B.) Her mother could plainly see she had three cards left, and that was the perfect amount she'd need for the brothers so there was no point to lying anyway.

And C.) Her mother wouldn't believe her if she said she didn't like them.

She bit back a sigh, last week at a parent-teacher conference, all nine of the cul-de-sac children anxiously awaited for their parents to emerge from chatting with all of their teachers in the cafeteria, the three Kanker brothers were there too, they just didn't really care all that much about what the teachers were discussing with their father. The Kanker brothers had gotten bored of waiting and began chasing the Ans around with puckered lips and demonic cackles, the Ans shouting for help as they fled for their lives. No one came to their aid, as usual. Sam and Jamie cowered under the table, wincing as they passed them, Karen, Jenny and Rachel chuckled at the An's dilemma and Nate simply shook his head. Nate felt bad for the Ans, but he wasn't risk his life for them, after all, it wasn't like the Kankers ever hurt them, unlike the rest of them.

When the Ans parents returned from their meetings with their teachers, they found their daughters trapped by the Kanker brothers, An against a trash can, Anny against a table and Ann against the wall, all three of them with their eyes closed (something they did to try and block out what was happening) and their lips pressed against the Kanker brothers'.

Needless to say, all three girls were mortified.

Surprisingly, their mothers all thought it was sweet that they had… ugghh…

Boyfriends.

The Kankers were pleased that the Ans mothers had accepted them as their boyfriends while the Ans wanted to curl up into little balls and roll far, far away as the other kids chuckled and mocked them. Ann had to endure one of the most uncomfortable interrogations of her life on the car ride home as her mother excitedly asked her all about Larie.

Ann gave out as little information as possible, not wanting her mother to invite him over for dinner or something like that and make it worse, she knew that her mother wouldn't believe that Larie had forced his lips onto hers and that she had no interest in him as a significant other, so she decided that it was best to give short, vague replies to her mother's questions.

Examples:

Sooo, what is his name? Larie.

Where does he live? In the trailer park.

When did you meet him? Over the summer.

Does he have any siblings? Yes, he has two.

Why have you never mentioned him to us? There are many other things going on in my life that I believed to be more important sharing with you then discussing a single classmate of mine.

Okay that last example was kind of long, but she couldn't say it was because her parents were rarely home, because she knew how hard they tried to get home early, and she couldn't say it was because she didn't want them to know about Larie because then her mother would suspect that she was trying to hide a relationship that only existed in Larie Kanker's head! So she said that.

But she wasn't the only one who had a long ride home, apparently Anny's ride home had been much worse. Her mother asked her things like how long they had been dating and why she hadn't told them about him before, causing her to flip out and shout that Tee was not her boyfriend and that she didn't like him at all. Her mother didn't believe her, after all, she had found Anny with her eyes closed (so she didn't have to look at him while he kissed her) her lips pressed against his (not her choice) and her hands on his chest (she was trying to push him off of her) and one of her legs popped in the air. (she was getting ready to kick him where she knew it would hurt so he'd let go of her.)

An's hadn't been much better. An's mom had gotten upset with her because she didn't tell them she was dating and her dad told her to stop making out with her boyfriend in front of Sam, Sam then told them that they did that all the time, An then told them that he wasn't her boyfriend and that he scared the living daylights out of her and that she didn't want his kisses, that all she wanted was for him to leave her alone! An's parents didn't believe her either. Even though she had been crying hysterically when they had found her with Jay's mouth pressed against her own.

Needless to say, the last thing Ann wanted to do was give any of the brothers a Valentine's Day card. But she knew her mother would be upset with her if she didn't do so, and she hated making her mother upset.

So, fighting a frown, she put the nine she had already completed and put them back into her bag. She then began writing Larie's name on a card with Albert Einstein on it, it wasn't until she read the card that she quickly panicked, if she gave him this card, he'd tear her skirt off in a matter of milliseconds! She quickly reached for a different card, but before she could, her mother informed her that it was time for dinner and kindly asked her to clear off the table. Ann winced, but did so.

She picked up the three cards and her satchel and placed them on the coffee table in the living room, the cards sitting under her school bag.

Ann would forget about those cards and leave them sitting on the coffee table the next morning after snatching up her satchel and racing to meet up with her friends so they could all walk to school together as usual.

Author's Note: Welp, this is the intro to An, Ann n' Anny's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo, I put it in a separate chapter cause I thought you all would like a taste, since this will take me a while to write the whole thing but I hope you like it.