The Past, Present and Future

By: Angelus Erreare

A/N: Disclaimer: All characters featured in this work of fiction all belong to ATLUS USA. I own nothing.

WARNING: SEMI-AU, OOC, SUGGESTIVE LANGUAGE

Note: My first attempt at a Roland/Argilla fanfiction. It was…hell to write this. I really don't like Roland. But still, variety is the spice of life. It's not a complete Roland/Argilla either. It's just SLIGHT Roland/Argilla.

Chapter 1: The Man in My Past

Serph looked at the woman beside him; she was fast asleep. Her face was the epitome of serenity. Her eyelids were calm, her cheeks were stained with a light pink shade and her luscious lips were slightly parted.

She hogged their blanket to her chest, being greedy.

He chuckled; some things never change.

He sighed; she had been there with him the entire way…She had supported him when he led Embryon at the Junkland. But now, all that didn't matter. The Junkland was a dream…Embryon was no more. Their lives had been altered drastically.

Now, they took refuge at the broken down town called Lokapala. Their comrades were missing…That and the fact that the promised Nirvana was not paradise at all, but a new hellhole had him almost questioning the concept of divinity…and his own sanity. But throughout all that, she never abandoned him. She remained faithfully by his side.

That was why he was with her…He needed her. And she needed him.

Was this love?

Sighing, he pressed himself closer to her warm body, sharing in her warmth. She moaned in her sleep as he buried his face at the crook of her neck, lightly kissing her flesh.

She giggled in her sleep and whispered, "Heat…"

He stiffened.

Heat?

She was thinking of Heat? While he touched her…?

He felt a sense of insult within him. Were his assumptions about his lover merely assumptions? His chest tightened as his mind wandered. Did she like Heat? Did she miss him?

What about him? What was he to her?

'A mere pastime?' he thought with a hurtful cringe.

Well, whatever the answers were, he was going to find out the next day…

xxxxx

Argilla woke up with cold sweat. It was the same dream…

A dream of the past…

'The past? Or was it a past life…?' she asked herself.

It had been the same every night ever since they had left the Junkland. She didn't know how or why, but suddenly she began to have dreams of him. Not just of him, but of her. She suddenly found a lump in her throat. She dreamed of him and her…together.

'Serph!' her mind suddenly screamed.

She immediately felt for his body beside her and found the space empty. She blinked and in that instant, she hopped out of the bed.

She didn't like to hide things from him, but telling him that she had been dreaming of Heat would only upset him. There were so many questions that would float through his head and at the worst case…

'He might leave me…' she gulped; sweat trickling down her temple in apprehension.

xxxxx

Argilla came down by the dining room of the Lokapala HQ as bouncy and bubbly as ever, forgetting all about the dream. She saw her teammates and she waved at them, "Hey guys."

Gale looked at her with an expressionless face, "Argilla, sit."

Cielo reciprocated her cheerful gestures and waved back with a smile on his adorable and child-like face, "Eh Argilla! Come on! Let's have breakfast before Roland eats it all ja?"

"Hey!" Roland openly protested.

Argilla laughed and walked over to them. She noticed however that as she sat down, Serph refused to look at her. He didn't even whisper to her or anything. It was as if he didn't see or hear her.

She felt a knot in her stomach; had she upset him in some way?

Not wanting to rouse the suspicions of her comrades, she sat down and there, she locked eyes with the newest member of their team; Lokapala's leader, Roland.

She smiled at him tentatively, a blush creeping up her spine and then onto her face.

It wasn't really a secret that Roland had a fondness for her. Serph looked at her from the corner of his eyes and saw the slight interaction between her and Roland. He frowned slightly; not that he wasn't sulking already.

Roland liked her; didn't he?

He sighed.

She seemed to have noticed though as she put a hand on his shoulder, "Serph? Something wrong?"

He looked at her with cold eyes and stood, brushing her hand away, "No. Nothing. I'll just be outside."

Cielo sweat-dropped, "Oh mon…Leader's mad ja?"

Gale touched his forehead, "That's because you two were too insensitive?"

Here, Argilla almost choked on her coffee, "Insensitive?"

Cielo sweat-dropped and looked at Roland accusingly, "Yeah you too mon! You shouldn't really be flashing dose googly eyes of yours at Argilla in front of Serph ja?"

Roland blushed, "I was? Really? Well, I…uh…sorry about that…"

Argilla could only blur out the rest of the conversation. She wanted to run after Serph and ask him what was wrong. But she knew him. These were the moments that he'd rather be alone.

To him, solitude brought far more solace and comfort than emotionally soothing words from others. He'd rather deal with his problems by himself.

'Serph…'

xxxxx

She hadn't seen Serph at all that morning or the afternoon. He, Gale and Cielo had left for a mission to gather information at Karma city.

She felt her heart constrict; she had always accompanied Serph in most, if not all their missions, but now, he chose to leave her behind.

She frowned; he was really upset with her, wasn't he?

She sighed. Now, she sat atop the building of the Lokapala building, just gazing at the entire city, getting a bird's-eye view of the place.

"The world is a mess…I feel so alone…" she sighed, sighing, "I wish I was with…"

"Wish you were with whom?" a male voice whipped through the air.

"Roland!" she said, turning around and blushing as she realized that he may have overheard everything that she had said. Granted it wasn't a lot but the fact that she had been surprised irked her.

"Hey, this seat taken?" Roland asked; a silly boyish grin on his face.

She giggled, "No. Go ahead. Sit."

"Aa…nice view." he said as he sat beside her.

She chuckled, "You've lived here all your life and you haven't been up here to know that?"

He sweat-dropped, "Well, I really hated this place you know? Ever since those Karma bastards had set up this crazy rule about devouring our kind, everything was a freakin' mess." he sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that." she said with outmost sincerity, touching his arm lightly as an attempt for consolation.

Roland looked at her hand; she did too and then, feeling the awkwardness seep in, she withdrew her hand with lightning speed.

"Er…" Roland hesitated, grappling for words to tell her. He scratched his head, "So…er…what's up with Serph today?"

"Hm?" she asked, looking up at him, "Serph? What about him?"

"He seems kinda out of it today." Roland replied, adjusting his glasses.

Argilla looked down and smiled ruefully, "He's just like that…He's awfully moody at times."

"What? You deprived him or something?" Roland slapped himself mentally as he realized the implications of his words. He was totally imposing on their privacy. 'Damn. She's gonna get pissed!'

He was mistaken, however, as she merely giggled, "I didn't do anything to him."

"That's precisely the point!" Roland laughed. He was glad that she didn't get offended by his crude remark; a pathetic excuse of a sexual innuendo.

She sighed, "I don't know…"

"So, you said something about being with someone…Who was it?" Roland asked, curious. Of course, she would probably say that it was Serph. He wasn't blind to what was going on between them. And the fact that they shared a room gave it all away.

"I don't really know…" she said.

Roland raised an eyebrow; she didn't know? How could she not know? Didn't she love Serph?

'Probably not…' he thought with no regret, but something with akin to…hope?

"I've been having dreams lately." she said, her pink eyes gazing into the town once more.

"Dreams? About what?"

She chuckled, "That's the sad and disturbing part. It wasn't about what; or should I say, it's not just about what. It's about whom."

"Okay…" he drawled, "What is it about and who is it about?" he asked calmly, almost convivially, trying to conceal his inner feeling of curiosity and interest.

She thought that it was disturbing right? Well, whatever she was dreaming of probably didn't include Serph. And if it did, it probably didn't spell out too well for him.

'Ouch…' he thought sadly, feeling for the silver-haired man.

"I dreamed about Heat." she deadpanned.

Roland arched an eyebrow and looked at her profile, "Heat is your comrade right? The missing one?"

She nodded without hesitation, "Yeah. He's the one all right."

"Why would you dream about him?" Roland asked, trying to quell the feeling of intrigue within his voice.

She laughed, shaking her head, "At first, I didn't know why…But as the days went by and I kept having the dreams, I knew that it was important. I began to think that maybe it was a memory…"

"And what does Serph think of all this?"

The answer to this question was what he had been dying to know. Yes; what did her silver-haired lover think of that? Undoubtedly, he'd be offended.

Wouldn't he?

'I would be.' he thought knowingly. But still, he urged her to continue.

"He doesn't know."

"He doesn't?"

"No. I haven't told him. We have enough problems as it is. We don't need to deal with any more ludicrous issues such as dreams and stuff like that." she said, crossing her arms.

"Ah, I see. So," he said, gazing up at the heavens, "this Heat of yours…"

Argilla blushed as she heard the words "Heat of yours" from Roland. 'Heat was never mine…' she thought, shaking her head.

She stiffened, however, as she saw a flash of her dream enter her mind. She saw herself…and Heat…

They were within each other's arms…arduously kissing. She saw as he backed her against a wall, his hands grabbing her face, his tongue slipping within her mouth…eager to explore her mouth…and divulge her secrets…

Her blush deepened and Roland became concerned, "Argilla, are you okay?"

She snapped back from her reverie, "I'm fine. What were you saying?"

Roland sweat-dropped; so, she had not heard anything that he had said so far. She must be really preoccupied.

'This Heat person, whoever he is must really mean something to her.' he thought sadly.

"I was asking you about Heat. How was he? And what happened in your dream?"

Argilla brought her hand to her mouth and laughed heartily, "Wanna know about Heat? Well, he's hotheaded. He has a really bad temper. He'd growl and snarl at anyone who got in his way. Hahaha…but despite that, he's reliable and dependable."

Roland could only nod, "Sounds like a real good guy…in a bad-guy sort of way."

Argilla looked at him confusedly and Roland laughed nervously, "Never mind. Anyway, what does he look like? Good looking?"

Argilla blushed, "I…I suppose he's alright to look at. He's…six feet tall. He has a built body…and a messy plop of bright red hair…With a pair of bright red eyes. His hair is way longer than Serph's. And he's a stranger to a comb or a brush…" she finished, chuckling.

She sighed as she recollected Heat's appearance, focusing on the finer details of his face, "He has good and decent cheekbones, a well defined nose, a hard and firm jaw and a pair of lips that are…Never mind." she finished with a slight blush on her face.

Roland raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Good looking guy." Roland commented, nodding, "So, did you have something going with him? Before Serph, of course." he finished quickly.

Argilla stared at him; wide-eyed, "What?! With Heat? No! We were…er…we never looked at one another like that…"

"Never?" Roland prodded, "Not even any sort of funny interaction?"

Argilla thought deeply to their time in the Junkland and she blushed, saying nothing. Roland saw it and pointed his index finger at her, "Aha! I knew it!" he laughed.

Argilla swatted his finger away and snorted, "No. The only time he'd speak to me was when he was trying to convince me that devouring others was the only chance we had at survival. I remembered him being so adamant about it that I had to slap him! Ugh…he just kept on going on and on about it." she finished, pouting.

Roland chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. At least, nothing yet." Roland had an idea building within him but he didn't want to divulge it yet; at least, not until he knew more about Heat and her dreams about him.

"So, what about your dreams? You said that perhaps it was a memory of some sorts?" he asked again, hoping that it would throw her off the scent of the bungling that he had just done.

"Oh well…right…I dreamed that…we were in some hospital. I dreamed that I was…a nurse!"

Roland raised an eyebrow and was about to speak when she put a finger in his lips, "Don't. Let me finished first."

He nodded and remained quiet, loving the way her skin felt against his lips…

"Then, I would see him there too. The dreams were unclear…but as they persisted I think I had a clear picture of what it was."

"And that is?"

"The dream was telling me, that before…in that world, at that time, Heat and I…we weren't just members of the Embryon; that we were real people…You know, the kind that have normal lives…No atmas, no demons, no Cuvier Syndrome; the kind that have jobs!"

"Wait a second. Not members of Embryon?" Roland asked, "Real people?"

Argilla nodded, "When we were at the Junkland, we were told that we were at Purgatory and should we win the war, we shall be delivered and forgiven. We would be brought to paradise; to Nirvana. But just before we had completely won, a man told us that…we were real people before; people who have died. And that our souls had just been transported in the Junkland; a land of eternal rain…with a yellow sky."

"So, with regards to the dream, maybe it was the previous life that I had…And maybe, that life…was with Heat."

Roland found whatever she was saying hard to swallow. So, by her definition, she wasn't a real human being. So, then, what was she doing here now? With him? Living and breathing? Was she telling him that she wasn't of flesh and blood?

"I don't really know how to explain it…But after that, we arrived here, in this world. This was the Nirvana that we were promised…"

"Sorry." he said sheepishly, humoring her story, "This isn't the paradise you were hoping for is it?"

She sighed and looked at him sadly, "No; it isn't. But still, things are unclear. That is why we have to find Sera and Heat. Sera knows something about our pasts! She knows what we are! Only she could help us."

"Do you understand your dreams now?"

She chuckled, "Yeah. I dreamed that Heat was a doctor…Hahahahaha…"

"Why do you laugh? Isn't that probable?" he asked frankly, with no hint of sarcasm.

She shook her head as she continued to laugh, "If you knew the Heat we knew from the Junkland, you'd be laughing too."

"Fair enough." Roland commented curtly. He deduced that this Heat person probably thought more from his fists rather than from his brains.

"You know, in that dream…No. Even as I'm awake, I sometimes see visions of him. I see visions of him and me…back then, at that world, at that time. I see us…and I feel…I feel as if I was really in love with him." she said with a tone close to sadness. She was sad because that life had to end. She was sad that she was given this life instead…

Roland felt his heart skip a beat. She had been in love with him he wagered…

"Wanna know what I think?" Roland asked.

"What?"

"I think that Heat had been having dreams about you too."

"What?" she asked, disbelief written all over her face. She turned on her side and put her palms on the space between them, leaning towards him ever so slightly. Roland fought back the blush that was threatening to come above his face and so, he brought his right hand to his face and arranged his glasses, hoping that she would not see his face.

He cleared his throat and continued, "As I was saying, I think he kept dreaming about you too. But he didn't understand it; the way you didn't as well. That was why he kept pestering and kept picking on you. He knew you to be a part of his past somewhere; a piece of his mental puzzle that didn't quite fit in anywhere. But one thing's for sure. He really cared about you."

Argilla raised an eyebrow, "And you know this…how?"

"He had nothing but your interest in mind. That was why he wanted you to devour others. It was for you. And the fact that he didn't understand his feelings only aggravated the situation; he tended to lash out on you whenever he would see an opportunity. I'm guessing that he enjoyed your slap too." he finished with a smirk, his right eye winking at her.

"I know, I would." he said suggestively.

Argilla, on instinct, slapped him, "Pig…!"

Roland slightly hissed as he felt her hand on his cheek; hissed in pain and pleasure. If her touch could mean this much pleasure within his body, then, she was free to hit him whenever she'd want. He was truthful though; he did enjoy her slap. But the word "enjoy" was an understatement…He relished in her touch.

"So, what do you feel about Heat now?" he asked, surprising her.

She blinked and then, gave him a bored look, "Heat isn't even the issue here…I feel nothing for him of that kind anymore."

"Anymore?"

She blushed, "I meant that, what happened in the past, in my past life, was over and done with. If Heat and I were together back then, well, now, we aren't. We aren't in love like that. He fell in love with someone else and I…fell in love with someone else too."

She didn't know why but as she relinquished her feelings for Heat and telling Roland that he had found someone else, she suddenly felt a stinging pain in her heart; poking at her organ relentlessly.

Her face probably said it too for Roland draped a hand on her shoulder, "You know, I think he'll always be a part of you even though you guys live different lives now. Don't worry about it too much. Your hair will turn like mine…or Serph's. You're thinking too much."

She chuckled, "Thanks for that. I needed it. Besides, I think that there's more to your explanation than just plain crap. Maybe he really did…care."

Roland smiled at her; she was in love with someone else now…

Well, that could only be the one and only fearless leader of Embryon.

Serph.

xxxxx