Oh hai muh name ar teh opaline nerina alanna magnum and I am teh princesz of teh kingdom ov lonifr i’m sixteen yearz old and I have dark eyez and luminous cinnamon hair I also have skull-shaped birthmark on mah rite arm but I also ave secret youz see i’m half-mermaid that meanz I can breatah underwatr but i don’t have wierd fish tail fank guudnesz! i mean walkin around in muh “princeszâ€ﾝ gownz ar teh hard enough without tail lol! Muh fathr ar teh kin ov lonifr and he had secret affair with mermaid! But since mermaidz r considered evil in lonifr even though they’re actually wonderful he couldn€™t tell anyone in ordr for it not t be known that i’m half-mermaid mah fathr married duchesz named varvara carnadine I hate hr because she’z stupid and mean and she’z not mah real mom she also haz daughtr named septima christabel hoo’z mah stepsistr and also stupid and mean! I call her STEPtima which drivez hr nutz lol! anyway it waz mah sixteenth birthday when everythin went bad nobody had said anythins 2 me all day! I thought thiz waz weird since i’m princesz and sweet sixteen fur princesz ar usually special! But varvara waz callins me suddenly and I had to go t the throne room! “whut ar teh it?!â€ﾝ I asked STEPtima waz there to and she waz wearin gown I waz also wearins gown it waz made of teal chiffon and threaded with ice-blue thredd the flrd skirt and wide loose sleevez were trimmed with silk braid I also wore mah signachur iron earrignz the effect waz charmins but it waz hard t walk in lol! “yoar fathr ar dedd.â€ﾝ varvara said i couldn’t believe it muh fathr waz dedd! I waz sad and started t cry then STEPtima said “haha u lokay stupid when youz cry!â€ﾝ I waz so mad “shut up STEPtima! yu’re jus stupid preppy BITCH!â€ﾝ I yelled and then i punched hr in teh face and she got black eye, LOL! “guardz seize hr!â€ﾝ varvara yelled and the guardz seized me but I kicked one ov them in the nutz! “hoo died and made yu QUEEN BITCH!â€ﾝ I yelled “yoar fathr did.â€ﾝ varvara said smirkin. “fuck yu bitch with rusty toenail made out of steel!â€ﾝ I yelled but the guardz threw me into the dungeon I stayed there fr three dayz cryin ovr mah fathr until varvara came t visit “whut do youz wantz youz stupid queen bitch?â€ﾝ I said “i jus thought youz mite wantz to know that youz ’re engujd t prince dick hardsteel ov heindoorâ€ﾝ she said, smirkin “WUT?! BUT HE’Z STUPID PIECE OF POOP!â€ﾝ I yelled “to bad yu’re goin t marry him anyway and then i’ll control hiz ingdom az welL.â€ﾝ varvara said smirkin that bitch! Dick hardsteel may hav been handsum enough but he hated mermaidz! At least she let me out of the dungeon finally latr that nite I waz wanderin the palace gardenz durin teh nite with mah pet ligr esmerelda ligrz r crosz between tigerz and lionz by the way Esmeralda ar the normally viciouz but with me she’z gentle she’z also waz muh only friend since mah fathr had died princessez isn’t allowed outside ov the palace to make friendz u see “o esmeralda if only I knew where mah muddr waz I could go live with hr I can breateh underwatr aftr all.â€ﾝ I said I wondered wut mah muddr had been liek i’d nevr met hr i’d probably have nevr known about hr if muh fathr hadn’t told me about hr when I waz six yearz old I had been playin by the well with muh doll then i dropped muh doll in the well and dived in teh retrieve it when servant saw that i hadn’t gone up he went and told teh kins I had drowned howevr it had jus taken me long time t reach teh bottom of teh well and fetch muh doll I nevr had any problem breathin and when I asked muh fathr why he told me teh hole story ov how I waz half-mermaid but how i mustn’t let anybody know because mermaidz iz despised I sighed and looked up at teh starz I envied them flaotin up in space away from varvara lonifr and dick hardsteel I closed mah eyez and wished I could float away with them all of sudden THERE WAZ LOUD BOOM!
(A/N: yoo mite be wondering whut this haz to do with KH! DON’T WORRY, IT’LL BE COMIN!)