A/N: Please note that this is a censored version. The uncensored version can be found on archiveofourown. (same penname and story title)

Why do I censor my stories? 1. It's against guidelines (I know, nobody really cares about that) but more importantly: I think some people might not want to read my sex scenes, as they are very explicit. This way people who just want to enjoy my story are still able to do so.

- STORY START -

Kakashi walked into the bar, hoping to spend a quiet evening alone. Lately his duties as Hokage left him feeling drained, a position he only reluctantly accepted. Tsunade had wanted to retire, claiming that she was going on a much needed vacation. Everybody knew that Naruto would become Hokage eventually, but he was still too young. He saw himself as a stand-in until Naruto was old enough to take over. While he mostly preferred to keep to himself and rarely drank, he felt like going to a bar that evening. When he saw Naruto sitting at one of the tables, he immediately turned around and made his way to the door.

"Kakashi-sensei" Naruto shouted, slurring the words slightly, waving his cup around. Kakashi sighed. He walked over to Naruto's table.

"Naruto, what are you doing here?" he smiled at his former student. While he felt annoyed that he couldn't spend a quiet evening alone, he had always liked being in Naruto's presence; the boy made him feel livelier and at ease.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted. "It's, gaah!" Naruto lowered his voice. "I don't understand why he can't see what's in front of him." Then his expression changed. There was a deep sadness and resignation in his eyes. "He's chasing Sakura… When he knows that I was always here." Naruto downed his Sake in a quick gulp, immediately pouring himself another cup.

Kakashi was at a loss for words. He wondered if his interpretation of Naruto's words were right; if Naruto had basically confessed that he was in love with Sasuke. It wasn't a shock, not really, when he had always suspected that their feelings for each other ran deeper than friendship or familial ties, but he had never thought that Naruto would talk to him, of all people, about his love life, or lack thereof. In a place like this…

"Kakashi-sensei, did you ever feel like this? You love someone, they love you back, but you just can't have them?"

Kakashi felt sorry for Naruto who sounded like he was on the verge of crying. It seemed like he had carried this around with him for quite a while already.

"No, I never had to face a situation like this." Kakashi smiled at him apologetically, an emotion that was probably barely discernible due to the mask covering his face.

Naruto looked shocked. Apparently, he thought everyone must have the same problems as him. Kakashi sighed. He hoped Naruto would back off, if he made it clear that he in no way understood his situation.

It seemed like the conversation was over for Naruto. He resumed downing his sake, and Kakashi shrugged his shoulders. He ordered another bottle, both of them drinking in companionable silence. After not only Naruto's face had turned red, but his ears too, Kakashi felt it was time to make him go home. He poured the last drops of Naruto's bottle into his own cup and downed it quickly.

"Hey! That was mine!" Naruto shouted, looking at Kakashi angrily.

"It's time to go home, Naruto." Only then did he realize that they were almost the last ones leaving. "I will take you home."

Naruto stood up without further protest, swaying heavily, confirming Kakashi's assumption of Naruto being too drunk. He put Naruto's right arm over his shoulder and made his way to the door. They walked towards Naruto's apartment at a snail's pace because Naruto was like a dead weight, but refused to be carried. When they finally arrived at his door, Naruto opened it, and walked into his apartment.

"So, who is the person that you loved Kakashi? Is he or she dead?" Kakashi had already turned around, and didn't expect his former student to be able to form such a coherent sentence. He hadn't told Naruto that he loved anyone, but it was apparent that he had his own interpretation of Kakashi's earlier words.

"I think you've had enough for today Naruto. Go to bed now." Kakashi had no intention of confessing his crush on his former teacher.

"It was my father, wasn't it?" Naruto sounded sad and unsure. Almost as if he didn't want it to be true. Kakashi flinched. He had never been bad at deceiving and manipulating others, but this was Minato's son.

"Why do you think that I ever loved someone?" He said nonchalantly, trying to look bored.

"Answer me, god damn it!" Naruto cried, "I don't believe you never loved anyone!" Kakashi turned around.

"It's late Naruto, your neighbors are sleeping. We can talk some other time." Kakashi prepared to leap onto the rooftops to get home quicker, having a lot to think about. He felt a hand gripping his shirt, and turned around.

"Let go, Naruto," he said calmly.

"No, I know it's true. I know the way you looked at me sometimes. You look really sad sometimes, you know."

Kakashi's heart gave a jolt. It seemed he was too transparent.

"Don't worry. I don't think anyone else noticed. Nobody who knew my father is alive anymore… The old man Sandaime, ero-sennin, my mother, your team… Everyone is dead." Naruto hiccupped. He had started crying silently, covering his eyes with his right arm.

"I know," Kakashi whispered and turned around.

Naruto wiped the tears away and looked at Kakashi. There was an intense and indefinable look in his eyes. Kakashi looked at Naruto's deep blue eyes and they reminded him so much of Minato's eyes that it made his heart ache. The last time he had been so close to Minato was the day before Kushina gave birth. That day, he hadn't known that he would never see those vibrant blue eyes again, so he never thought he would have to memorize them in order to remember the man they belonged to.

He was shaken from his thoughts when Naruto gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. Kakashi immediately reacted, punching Naruto in the gut, sending him flying into his apartment. It seemed as if Naruto was unconscious, but Kakashi knew he would recover quickly. He was a shinobi after all. He touched his lips self-consciously, feeling them tingle slightly.

With one last look at Naruto, he closed the apartment door and prayed that Naruto wouldn't remember anything the next day. The things Naruto said were too uncomfortable and deeply hidden in his heart for seventeen years to unearth them. When he returned home, he washed his face with cold water. Looking at his reflection, he wondered how he landed himself in this mess. If only he had gone elsewhere when he saw Naruto at the bar…

The following days passed uneventfully, paperwork after paperwork piled up on his desk, and he fell into bed exhausted every day, only to wake up and finish more paperwork concerning their new trade routes with the wave country. He hadn't actively avoided Naruto, as he barely had any time to relax. On the seventh day, Naruto was at his apartment door. He held a bottle of sake in one hand, and showed him a sheepish expression.

"Sensei, I haven't seen you for a while. I brought some sake." Kakashi couldn't read in Naruto's behavior whether the boy remembered their encounter the week before.

"I'm busy, Naruto. Lately paperwork has been piling up. I need some rest." He moved to shut the door.

Naruto put on his best kicked puppy face. "I have the newest edition of your favorite series!" he exclaimed, holding up the newest volume of adventures of the fire country, a new ecchi series he had lately started to read.

"I already have this volume," Kakashi said stoically.

"But- but I made Hinata buy it on her last mission! It's a special edition! How did you get it?" Naruto seemed honestly surprised.

Kakashi sighed. "Think about it. If you can ask a friend to buy it, why can't I?" Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"Oh! You're right… Hahahaha!" He laughed loudly, to hide his embarrassment.

"Well, that's that." Kakashi moved to shut the door. "See you," he said cheerfully.

"Wait, wait , wait! This sake, it's exquisite! Even Tsunade-baa-chan said so!" Kakashi sighed. He knew there was no way to make Naruto leave if he didn't use force, and he was too tired for that. The part of him that genuinely wanted to spend time with Naruto was quickly pushed back.

"Whatever," he said, annoyed by Naruto's pestering.

"Yay!" Naruto quickly entered, trying to find the kitchen.

Kakashi vaguely noticed that it was the first time someone really visited him in years. Back when he had been on an Anbu team with Yamato, they had occasionally shared a late night drink, both trying to chase off their own demons, if only for a night. They hardly spent their time speaking, but more drinking in companionable silence.

Naruto had found what he was looking for, judging by the clinking of his cups. Kakashi winced. He hoped that Naruto wouldn't be clumsy enough to drop them, seeing as he barely had any. Since he never had any guests, everything in his apartment was designated for pure functionality. Kakashi went to the table and shrugged off his Hokage hat and coat, patiently waiting for Naruto to leave the kitchen. His eyes were already drooping, and he noticed that he had fallen asleep for a bit, when Naruto presented him with his cup.

"Thanks." He downed his cup, watching Naruto do the same. "So, why are you really here?" Naruto looked at the table.

"I just needed some distraction, I guess. Lately, something has been bugging me." Kakashi cocked an eyebrow.

"It's something my father said during our fight against Obito." Naruto looked unsure.

"Something Minato-sensei said?" Kakashi tried to mask his curiosity

"Yea… He said one of his biggest regrets was to leave you alone." Naruto paused, looking at Kakashi intently. It was obvious that he was trying to gauge Kakashi's reaction. Kakashi didn't know what Naruto's intentions were, but tried to stay calm. His heart started beating faster.

"I see. Well, let me tell you something," Kakashi began, feeling it was time to set things straight with Naruto who barely knew anything about this parent's past, let alone Kakashi's, "when I was a child, my father committed suicide. I became a bitter child; a loner who wouldn't make friends. Sandaime assigned me to your father's squad, hoping that he would be able to show me the right way."

Naruto looked at him, mouth agape. Obviously, he hadn't known that Kakashi's father had committed suicide during his childhood.

"Well, the rest you already know. Obito and Rin became important to me, but I lost them. Shortly after that, I also lost Minato-sensei. I guess this is what he means."

Naruto seemed to think Kakashi's words over. He looked unsatisfied, making Kakashi feel uncomfortable. Never before had he told anyone of his past on his own accord.

"I don't think that's what he meant. You know, I wanted to ask my dad why you never visited me, not even once in the thirteen years before we officially met for the first time."

Kakashi felt like he had been kicked into his stomach. There was a sad and serious air about Naruto who had every right to be angry at him. In all the years they had known each other, Kakashi never went against the Sandaime and told the boy who his father, his idol, actually way. Kakashi stayed silent, and Naruto was seemingly waiting for a comment, anything that would explain why Kakashi never bothered to acknowledge his existence.

"In the end, I didn't have time to ask him. I thought long and hard about this."

Kakashi's heart sank. After Minato's death, he had chosen a lonely path, living only for his work. Even though he wanted to leave the Anbu after Minato died, The Sandaime insisted on him staying in anbu, and so he dedicated his life to their missions, secretly hoping he could die a heroic death. He would be able to meet his loved ones in the afterlife. He wasn't going to end up like his father, dying of shame. He lived and breathed only for his missions, so every time Kurenai and Asuma or anyone else invited him to dinner, he ignored them.

"I understand now. My father was your most important person, wasn't he?" Naruto's gaze softened and Kakashi felt ashamed, as well as guilty.

Still, he said nothing. He looked at Naruto, but was otherwise completely still. He was normally a smooth-talker, but when it came to matters of the heart, he felt he was tongue-tied. Absentmindedly, he noticed how his hands had started shaking. Nobody ever suspected anything. His love for Minato was his best kept secret, one of the many that he was going to take to the grave.

Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed that Naruto had gotten up and was walking towards him. Kakashi pushed his chair back, knowing that it was the last chance to evade Naruto's question. Naruto was faster than him. He put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder, effectively hindering him from standing up.

"Answer me," his voice was low, but dangerous.

Kakashi gulped. He looked up at Naruto, trying to assess the situation. It was obvious that Naruto was angry, waiting for an answer, and not willing to let it go. And it was his right to demand answers from someone who could provide them, but never did.

Several more moments passed before Naruto leaned down, and gripped Kakashi's chin. He looked at him intently and before he could react, he had pressed his lips to Kakashi's, forcing him to open his mouth. They were slightly chapped, but felt oddly comfortable on his. He distinctly smelled of alcohol. Kakashi pushed at Naruto's shoulder, but his exhaustion and Naruto's strength made his attempt look like he was barely squatting way a fly. Naruto brought up his other hand, and tangled it in Kakashi's hair, first gently stroking it, and then pulling at it, all the while kissing him passionately. Kakashi knew that Naruto was only acting on instinct; he wasn't a good kisser, but it made him feel safe and wanted.

Kakashi had never been in a real relationship. The only human contact he permitted himself was talking to his subordinates during missions, or finding comfort in the few one night stands that he had when missions permitted it. After a while, Naruto stopped kissing him. There was a small trail of saliva running down his chin that he quickly wiped away. At the sight of Naruto's red and swollen lips, Kakashi felt his member rise.

"You liked it, didn't you?" Naruto said flatly. There was no malice or taunting in his voice, it sounded perfectly neutral. "So how about this Kakashi, I will be the replacement for my father. After all I do look like him, don't I?"

Kakashi looked at Naruto's mouth; he heard the words, but didn't want to believe what he just heard.

"No, this is wrong Naruto," Kakashi felt his normally stoic demeanor slip. "You may look like your father, but you are not him. No one can replace him." He noticed that he had raised his voice.

Apparently it was what Naruto wanted to hear, as his gaze softened, and he began to look at Kakashi with an entirely different expression: pity and understanding at the same time. Maybe he felt that Kakashi was in a similar situation as him. Naruto, too, was in love with a person who didn't see his heart.

"It's okay, Kakashi. You don't have to deny yourself. I will be 'Minato' for you." Naruto coaxed him.

Kakashi knew he had to resist, but it was incredibly hard. He would finally get a chance to be with Minato again, even if it was only pretending. He never dared to dream about him anymore because it hurt too much.

"No…" He ground out, already feeling his resolve fade. It would be so easy to give in… He looked up at Naruto with a searching look, and his heart ached, as he saw Naruto's gentle smile. It looked like Minato's. It was a rare smile that only a select few people can give you; one that made you feel like everything was going to work out, like you were accepted with all of your flaws.

Kakashi put both his hands to Naruto's face and started kissing him frantically. All rational thought had deserted him. Naruto kissed him back, tearing his t-shirt apart. He threw the remains onto the ground and broke their kiss to take off his own shirt.

After Kakashi steered them towards his bedroom, he pushed Naruto onto the bed. He straddled Naruto's hips and softly traced the contours of his lips with his fingers, then moved upwards to the whisker-like scars on his cheeks. Minato had unblemished skin, but it was just as tan as Naruto's. He was shaken from his observations, when Naruto grew impatient and started pulling down Kakashi's pants.

When Naruto was done, he let himself fall down on the mattress, and was almost instantly asleep. Kakashi looked at him unsurely. Would it be better if he woke him up and sent him on his way? In the end, he decided against it. It would make Naruto feel like he was just using him, which was basically the case, but it didn't have to be so obvious. In a moment of weakness, he lifted his hand, wanting to caress Naruto's face, to trace the contours of his mouth, to memorize the face that he was familiar with. In the end he decided against, it letting his hand rest on Naruto's mop of blonde hair. It was just as unruly as his father's, and seemed to stick into all directions, but the color was just a bit different.

Kakashi went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. He scrubbed himself, until his skin hurt. Softly, he sank down onto the floor, the scorching water still raining down on him. He buried his face in his hands. The guilt was overwhelming him; not only had he had sex with one of his former students, but also his former teacher's son. He didn't know which was worse. That he had betrayed Naruto's trust or Minato-sensei's trust. On top of that, he had liked it, a lot. Kakashi dried himself off, when the water began to turn cold and slipped into a t-shirt and his boxers. He lay down next to Naruto, unable to avoid touching him, as his bed was meant for one person. He made sure that they were both covered by the blanket and fell asleep soon after.