I know it's going to cause problems again but I could give a fuck less. It's the only way to deal with the judgmental things that I hear people say or the things people call me. Words like monster, vermin, rodent, and useless are all burning in my mind; almost as hot as the liquid I'm drinking. The others are out doing a mission and told me to stay back and watch the Milano so I find my friend Groot on the table and take up the least judgmental thing I have ever met in my life, besides Groot that is anyways. I take another swig and shiver as it burns like the dozens before it have. I know, it pisses Gamora off when she finds me drunk like this. "Fuck her, literally. No, wait, that's Peter's job." I say, ending in a laugh at my own joke as I take another swig and I can hear voices coming closer. "Well, I should go." I tell Groot who only nods in his little pot. I'm not completely shitfaced yet but that is my goal by the time dinner time is here. I swear, with everything that has been done to me on Half World they must have also implanted either another liver or one from a different species in me because I can handle my alcohol too well for someone of my size. I hear voices coming closer and decide to run to my room and hide the half empty bottle. I'll open another one for show so there will be more than enough in there.
On my way back, I duck into the bathroom and flush the toilet, making people think that I was in there as I walk back into the main hallway. "Any action here?" Peter asks. I laugh on the inside. If only he knew I spent the day getting pissed without him he would not be laughing. I shake my head no and get the step stool out of the gap between the fridge and the wall. I'm fully intent on making something while I can still keep food down. "I don't think so, it's only a few hours till dinner and I don't want you skipping another meal today." Gamora says as she closes the ladder and puts it back. "She's right." I hear Drax say as he waters Groot. I'm thankful that they all help with him but still, it would be nice to get a snack around here once in a while. "Fine. I'm going to go take a nap." I say as I walk down the hallway. "Sure, whatever you say." Peter says as he opens a cabinet door and looks at where the booze is stored. I know he can see the bottle missing so I don't bother with getting the second like I was planning.
I get to my room and decide to pass out on the bed. My stomach is burning and my eyes aren't feeling any different. "Oh Rocket, you've really got a problem." I say to myself as I crawl up on the bed and lay down. I roll over onto my back and look up at the metal ceiling above me and then turn my head to the side and see Peters bed. "I really hope he doesn't come in wanting t' take a nap." I say, the alcohol starting to hit hard. Within a few minutes I feel it really taking over and I fall asleep.
"Ugh, my flarking head." I moan as I wake up. My eyes are still closed but my nose is picking up that I'm not alone. "Perfect. Either it's in the middle of the night or he's in for a nap." I say to myself as I struggle to open my eyes. Sure enough, it's not that late and he's probably down for a post mission nap. I sit up and struggle to walk into the kitchen where I find Gamora and Drax sitting there with Groot dancing in his pot. "Look who decided to roll out of bed." Gamora says as she sees me walk into the room. "We know about the bottle of Xandarian vodka, you really need to stop." she says only to have Groot nod his head in agreement. "If I wanted to be nagged at I would have drank it in front of you." I say in a nasty tone. "You really need to take care of yourself." Drax says. "You know what, I can't believe that I'm getting it from both of you. I'm going back to my room." I about scream and turn around to find Peter behind me. "You owe me a bottle Rocket." he says. I do nothing but walk around him and go back to the room.
"Those flarking assholes." I say as I lock the door so no one else can get in. "Second thoughts, maybe locking is a bad idea." I say, unlocking the door, not wanting to deal with Peters bitching if he wanted to come in. I open my bedside drawer and pull out a small bottle. "Well, at least these will take care of the headache." I say as I pop 3 pills into my hand and toss them into my mouth, swallowing them dry. "Ugh, I'm going to just skip dinner. I should have kept drinking." I think before turning back to my bed and getting undressed, this time intent on going under the covers. "I don't think so rodent. You're getting up in an hour for dinner." Gamora says as she walks by and looks in the door. I sigh and nod my head. "Bite me bitch." I say and with that the door is closed in her face. I can't help but laugh.
I find the bottle I was working on and go back to work. I know that I had just taken painkillers but don't really care. I'm beyond caring at this point. Sure enough, it burns as it did before and I can feel it starting to kick in. "Rodent, dinner is ready." I hear from the other side of the door. I've had enough and can't take any more. "Is it really worth it?" I ask myself as I look around me. The result of an experiment, looked down on by what seems like everyone around me. After a few more drinks I run into what I was not wanting to run into; the bottom. "Great. I'll have to wait till tonight for more." I say under my breath and get under the blankets. It's nice and warm. I smile and roll over so I'm facing away from the room and go to sleep.
I roll over to the smell of whatever they cooked in dinner. "Smells good." I say as I get dressed in a simple pair of shorts and a shirt before walking out into the hallway. "Look who finally woke up." I hear Peter say as he walks by me, scratching behind my ear quickly before smiling down at me. Among the ones on the Milano here with me he seems to be the only one who shows even the smallest amount of respect towards me and it actually has made me develop feelings for him, not romantic feelings but feelings of almost calling him a friend. "Yeah, yeah, I know." I say as I take a seat at the table, faking that I'm happy to be here. As much as I know that I at least have 2 here that consider me an equal I still can't stand the pain the other two cause. "Good, the vermin is here." Drax says.
"Go frag yourself." I about spit at him as he looks at me. "Now was that necessary?" Gamora asks as she sits a bowl down on the table. "I guess so." I say to her as I serve myself. I only see her shake her head. "Just wait, after tonight, I don't know how, I'm going to end it for you." I think to myself. "Rocket, wanna get wasted together tonight while I'm on watch?" Peter asks. "Nah. I think I'm going to give the liver a break and actually sleep." I say, putting a bite in my mouth. If anything I'm going to miss it'll be when Gamora and Drax cook together. There is just something about the food they both make. Peter can't cook worth a crap and I'm too short to safely cook without burning the hair on my face. I laugh about the last time I cooked and we had to find a planet to let the smell of burning hair our and air the Milano out. It's one of the many memories that I'm sure will replay later tonight. Now that I'm dedicated to the idea, I need to come up with a plan. "We just restocked on medications so I'm sure we have narcotics in the med bay." I think, knowing that narcotics when mixed with enough alcohol will lead to one hell of a production of a death for the others to have to live through.
It's nightfall and Gamora and Drax have gone to bed. Groot is sleeping in his pot in my room and I'm on the bridge just chatting with Peter. We do this some nights. Night watch is boring and either Peter or myself take it, sometimes we'll do it together and get wasted; much to the displeasure of Gamora. Drax just doesn't understand drinking till you're falling down the ladder to the main deck. "Well I'm heading to bed. If you need anything just com me and I'll be up here." I say as I turn around and go down the ladder. First stop is the med bay. I look over the bottles and find the one I'm looking for. "These will do nicely." I say as I put a 60 count bottle of hydrocodone under my arm and make my way back to my room. I had already faked a bathroom trip and got a couple bottles of vodka in there that were from my stash.
I first start with the vodka, knowing that the other one will knock me out once I start taking it. After about half the bottle I start on the pain killers, taking them a handful at a time. Thirty minutes pass, nothing happens so I take more pain killers and more vodka, before long I can feel it hitting and it hurts. I'm starting to change my mind and decide to go up and get help. "Oh fuck, what have I done?" I ask as I stagger down the hallway towards the main room. I'm starting to feel tired and fall to the floor in front of the table. "Peter." I weakly say before I feel my stomach twist. I know the feeling all too well and am not surprised at what happens. Up comes a mixture of pills, vodka, and stomach acid and something red. Red. The color scares me because I know I haven't eaten anything red at all that day. "Peter." I try screaming but am silenced by a cramp that is soon followed by me throwing up more of the red stuff and it hits me what it is; it's blood.
My body is becoming weak as I feel myself crawling slowly towards the ladder, or at least I thought I was crawling. I was really just crawling in place, unable to move. "Fuck." I say as my limbs go out from under me. "Anyone, help." I say in a tired tone as I can see my world black out. "Rocket, you say my name?" I hear Peter say from above me in the cockpit. I try to put an arm out and am met with resistance. "Great, I really am going to die." I think to myself as I lay there, my heart pounding on the floor, surely loud enough for everyone to hear. "Shit Rocket, what happened?" I hear just as things fade away. The last feeling I feel is someone picking me up and the last words I hear were someone screaming for Gamora to meet them in the med bay. Have I really done it? I don't know. It feels like it but at the same time I know if it had really happened already I wouldn't be feeling anything.