Title: Gossip

Author: Raptorix

Series: Bleach

Pairing/Characters: Chizuru/Yumichika (Yes, I ship that now.), Tatsuki, Ikkaku

Spoilers: Post Soul Society Arc for manga.

Rating: R

Summary: Chizuru and Yumichika talk with their friends about their new relationship, (and confusing sexuality.)

Disclaimer: I'm not Kubo! I just write his characters in strange crack!

Note: Written as a request from my friend, shinigamikender!

"Chizuru, have you turned over a new leaf? What were you doing cuddling with that feather-eyebrow freak during first break?" Tatsuki was shocked to see her flaming lesbian companion actually sharing company so intimately with someone of the opposite gender.

"Oh? Yumichika? Yeah, we're dating now." Chizuru admitted.

Tatsuki nearly choked on the bite of food she was chewing that moment. "W-WHAT? Since when!"

"Since last night."

"So what? You're done being a lesbian now just like that? You're going straight now?" Tatsuki was confused.

"Nope! I'm a lesbian for life."

"Then what are you doing cuddling with a guy!" Tatsuki still couldn't believe she was bothering to even have this conversation, but she couldn't stop herself.

"He's more like a woman trapped inside a man's body, so I'm not breaking any of my rules."

"Isn't that like… a transvestite then?" Tatsuki instantly thought of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and how that feather-eyebrow dude would fit perfectly in that cast.

"Not really. He still considers himself a man, but his aura is so female. There's a difference."

"Yeah, that's what they call gay."

"Which works perfectly fine, since I'm gay too!"

"I think you still don't actually get it." Tatsuki was done trying to argue with Chizuru about her sexuality and the sexuality of her new… partner.

"Were you really doing what I think you were doing with that chick last night?" Ikkaku lounged on the couch in Keigo's living room.

"Oh? You could tell?" Yumichika looked up from his cup of tea.

"Pretty hard not to notice the racket you two were making."

"Good thing Keigo-san's parents weren't home last night, wasn't it though?" Yumichika smiled.

"I thought you weren't straight though." Ikkaku raised an eyebrow.

"I never admitted I wasn't. I've always considered myself bisexual though. Women are experts on being beautiful."

"So you dig geeky women now?"

"I can't help but be attracted to a beautiful person, that's all." Yumichika made his best beautiful smile. Ikkaku just rolled his eyes and turned on the TV.

"So this is a fling, right? You still hate penises too much to actually go all the way with him, right?" Tatsuki knew this relationship wasn't going to go on forever.

"Oh I do…"

Tatsuki nodded, knowing her hunch was right.

"…But for him I made an exception." Chizuru finished.

Tatsuki was glad she wasn't eating anything… if she had, she would seriously be choking right now.

"What do you mean, 'made'… don't you mean 'make'?" Tatsuki gasped.

"Nope. I made an exception just for him last night. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was a lot like doing it with a strap-on. A really life-like strap-on. Shame he doesn't have breasts. Though, I improvised and got the results I was looking for." Chizuru explained.

Tatsuki paled, her expression of blank shock as she stared wide-eyed at her. Chizuru giggled.

"Excuse me for a moment. I think I'm going to be sick now." Tatsuki stood up quickly and rushed away.