Mission sighed in relief as she leaned her head back onto the pillow, letting her lekku slip into the hot water of the pan that lay above the pillow, at the head of her bunk.
There was the brief flash of pain as her skin stirred the hot water ("What are you trying to do, cook your tails?" Jolee had once quipped as he'd witnessed a past performance), and then that delightfully dreadful anticipation of the transition was over and waves of heat diffused into her head.
Ah, the simple joys of life, she thought to herself. The weariness of another day soaked out into the water, in a quite pleasant haze of fuzzy warmth that swaddled her brain like a blanket.
She closed her eyes, willing that moment of pleasure to last forever. But of course it didn't... it never did. The almost painfully hot water would turn mildly hot, then warm, then tepid, and then before you knew it, it was time to towel off and watch Big Z polish his bowcaster some more.
Of limited duration it may have been, but it was certainly one of the rare things that was actually pleasant about the otherwise tedious life she led aboard the Ebon Hawk. She could count on her hand the number of times in the fourteen years of her life that she'd actually had the opportunity to bask in the glory of lekku soaking, lying on a soft bed, with not a care in the Galaxy, back on Taris. And here she was, doing this almost every night! It was almost becoming... dare she even think the thought?... banal! Boring!
And that was the ultimate root of the problem, of the otherwise idyllic life she'd suddenly found herself thrust into. Boredom.
And to think, there was once a time I actually wished to be away from Taris, to visit the Galaxy! See all the sights! The ancient, massive forests of Kashyyyk! The pristine, sparkling blue oceans of Manaan! The desolate, windswept glory of Tatooine!
If I'd known I'd be stuck for days at a time in hyperspace, with nothing better to do than watch Jedi contemplate their navels, I'd have grabbed Big Z and run the other way when I first saw Enosh and Carth back at Javyar's cantina.
A small part of her tried to remind herself that Javyar's cantina was now most likely a smoking ruin in the sea of molten slag that much of Taris' devastated surface now was, but it was more fun to let her outrage at the ennui of space travel lead her where it wished to go.
Sure, it was safe here. She wasn't on the run from law enforcement (as she'd perpetually seemed to be back on Taris, but she blamed that mostly on the general snootiness of the Upper City denizens (and besides, who'd given them the right to make all the laws?), rather than any lack of character on her part), or the various shady characters that naturally formed the foci of the world of the Lower City (Griff's surprisingly large number of questionable activities were to blame there). But she was also stuck here, talking to the same old people, rehashing the same old conversations.
If I hear Carth complaining about the broken emergency lights in the cargo hold one more time, or Bastila going on and on about making Padawan at fourteen so how come I don't go to school anymore and 'make' something of myself...
She dropped that line of thought before it could ruin a perfectly nice lekku soaking.
The planets they visited were a welcome relief from the boredom, but then everyone got so serious it was hardly any fun at all. Dancing oh-so-delicately between the Black Vulkars, the Hidden Beks, and all the other swoop gangs; visiting the Outcasts despite the threat of the rakghouls; running with Griff on the edges of the waves created by the massive power figures like Davik Kang and Zax; thumbing her nose at every opportunity at the 'lords' of the Upper City and the Sith occupation force...might have been nerve-racking at the time, but surely the fear had been outweighed by the sheer excitement, hadn't it? The thrill of the nervous, excited energy of the bustling, ever-busy crowds of Taris?
But thoughts of Taris inevitably led to thoughts of the massive destruction that had been visited upon the planet's surface. She could try to lose herself in memories of her past life back on Taris, painting a picture that she had to admit was probably prettier than it should have been, but all her reminiscing would not bring it back from ruin.
It was terrible, all those lives lost. And had it not been for that chance encounter with Enosh and Carth in Javyar's cantina, she might very well not even be around to think about how fortunate she was to still be around.
Her mind contorted a bit on that last thought, before she gave up and moved on.
I can mourn for all those lost, and still aspire for something more for my life than revenge and sadness, can't I? Still acknowledge the seriousness of our quest... and enjoy life and living while I'm doing it, can't I?
Otherwise, I'll end up like Bastila, all serious-minded and cranky all the time. And what would be the fun of that?
She heard the door to the dormitory open, and lifted her head slightly to see Bastila walk in.