I never expected my life to change so drastically in just two years, never expected to find a love so big, so true, that it made me feel I didn't need anything else for my life to be complete, and I definitely never expected to lose it in such a cruel way.
I can still remember the first time I really saw him; Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff Quidditch captain and the most popular guy every girl wanted. But he wasn't who everyone thought he was, there was so much more to him than people bothered to find out, and I think that in a way, that was the very thing he was lacking; someone who took the time to notice who he was, and loved him for that, not for what he was. At least that's what he always told me "thank you for loving me for who I am".
Honestly, I believe it was the other way round; I should have been the one saying thank you, thank you for showing me that everyone deserves to be loved. It was something I never knew it could happen, at least not to me.
I was the sort of girl who never got what she wanted, like they say, school is cruel, and to me, sometimes it felt that way. Being shy and quiet can guarantee that. I had my friends, but I was never one of those popular girls like Cho.
Cho was the kind of girl who belonged with Cedric, the girl everyone loved, the girl that got noticed by every boy; that's why I was surprised when Ced and I started becoming friends.
It started on the train ride to Hogwarts, the beginning of my year. We were both Hufflepuffs, but we never talked much, aside from the usual good mornings and such. But this year was different; the train was full, and the only available sit was in Cedric's compartment, go figure. Now, Cedric I liked, but his friends, they were a different story. Some of them were nice, ok, maybe two, his closest friends, but the rest of them…, well, let's just say that I was prepared for a long and torturous ride back to school.
But it never came, apparently once they managed to make we string more than to words together they decided I was nice enough.
That train ride changed everything, we became friends, shared classes, and even sat together, that's how Cedric and I became closer. Transfiguration and Potions. Funny, I know, but we always had something to talk about and our chats evolved from classes to free time, he loved that I was a good listener and enjoyed my company.
I loved being his friend, but I ended up doing something I shouldn't have, I fell in love with him. Wrong, maybe, but I couldn't help it; he was sweet and caring and, and he would always see me as a friend. Or so I thought.
-Sophie, c-can I talk to you?- He stuttered, he never stuttered.
-Sure
-I was wandering if maybe…, I just wanted to, ugh!! Would you go to Hogsmade with
me?
-Of course
-Great! I'll see you tomorrow then, met me at the hall?
-Sure, see you tomorrow
-Alright, it's a date then
That's how our fist date started, a trip to Hogsmade, the best trip of my life, that much I know. I can still remember his face of relief when I told him I hated Madam Puddifoot's.
-Thank God! I've always hated that place!
-Then why do you go?
-Because that's what girls want, every bloke I know hates it, but, I guess that's what is expected.
-Yes, but that's not really you, I mean, isn't it frustrating. To do what is expected of you all the time?
-A little, I just hate that I have to be this perfect person all the time, for my parents, for my friends, just because that's what I know they want
-Maybe they aren't really your friends
-Honestly, half of them are not, they just like to hang around me because of, of, I don't know, appearances- he sighed tiredly
-Not me
-Not you
-See, that's why you love me
-Of course
-Oh, so you love me- I said with a playful note in my voice
-Yes, I do.
Now that stopped me in my tracks, he loved me?! Well, he did seem awfully sincere about it, and positively very scared, maybe because I have been silent for a while, but I heard wrong, I must have, what he was saying did not make any sense at all!
-Please say something- he was nervous
-I-I, you, what?!?
-Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry- now he was sad, a brief smile appearing on his lips as he turned to leave.
-Ced, wait!
I ran to him, that's what I wanted, what I've always wanted, and I surely wasn't going to let him go like that.
-You don't have to say anything, really
-No, I do, I was…you just caught me by surprise, that's all
-I figure, but I do, I, honestly….it's just that you are different from everyone I know, and you care, about me, for me…-and now he was rambling
-Cedric!- he looked at me startled- I love you too
-Then kiss me- he whispered, a huge grin on his face
That was the beginning of our relationship. To say I was happy was an understatement, it was perfect; there were fights, sure, but we knew we loved each other. He knew mw better than anyone, and he took the time to get to notice all those little things no-one ever did.
It seemed as if nothing could ever go wrong, but good things don't last long I suppose; what wouldn't I do to change that, I honestly wish I could. I wish I could go back and convince Cedric not to enter the tournament, I wish the tournament never existed in the first place, he would have been safe then, but I can't do that.
He was so excited when Dumbledore announced students that the tri-wizard tournament was going to take place in Hogwarts, but I never liked the idea. I tried to be supportive; he needed that, just like he needed to prove that Hufflepuff could do it, that It could bring fortune and glory to Hogwarts.
We all cheered for him when he got selected, how could he not, but he saw right through me. "Don't worry about me, I promise, I'll be fine", if only he could have kept his promise.
The first task was not easy, not for him or for me, when he told me they were making him face dragons I thought he was joking, and that it was a cruel joke Harry was playing on the both of us, but it wasn't. Facing a Dragon to retrieve a golden egg! What on Merlin's name was Dumbledore thinking!!
But he did it, I was nervous, and I nearly fainted, but I sat through all of it, I watched him enter the arena, and I watched him retrieve that egg after almost getting killed and burned; but the most amazing thing I got to watch was the sheer happiness on his face when he realized he made it.
I ran to the champions' tent waiting for him to come, he walked out of it with open arms and a heartbreaking smile, and I ran to him. His arms circled my waist and he lifted me up in the air, spinning me in circles until his lips collided with mine. "See, I told you I was going to be ok, didn't I ".
The egg was a riddle, something important was taken from him and he would have to retrieve it form the black lake, having only one hour to look for it. I was nervous but Cedric said that my lack of trust in him was a bit insulting, so I had to keep quiet. I was dreading to have to sit through it, especially since I couldn't see him, and I didn't have to.
When I was called by Professor McGonagall I had no idea what to expect, at such late hours and all. It turned out I was the thing he would have to retrieve, and a sleeping charm would allow them to place me at the bottom of the lake for Cedric to find.
That is all I remember, the next thing I know, I was being carried through the freezing cold water by Cedric. The minute we were safe on top of the platform he cradled me in his arms.
-When I didn't saw you at breakfast I was worried, but McGonagall wouldn't let me go after you, and for a moment there I wasn't sure I could do this.
-Of course you could have, you're one of the most talented wizards I know- that earned my a squeeze and a kiss in the head
-You have no idea how terrified I was when I saw you down there
-I'm fine now, you made it!
-I love you.
By the time of the third task I was more relaxed, but I couldn't get over the feeling that something bad would happen, for my friends I was being ridiculous, it was only a maze, easy enough, and he was going to be fine, but I couldn't help it.
Cedric had always been quite confident, but not this time, he doubted if he would win, he doubted himself, but I think he needed someone to reassure him, someone that would tell him that he would be great and that they would love him no matter what, the latest was apparently what he needed.
My memories of the last task are blurry, and everything happened in some sort of haze, I remember wishing him good luck, meeting his dad and staying with him until Professor Dumbledore sent me away, I remember our goodbye, our last goodbye, he promised me he would be ok, he said it would be over soon and he kissed me, but it's all pits and pieces.
The only solid memory I have, happens to be the only one I wish I wouldn't have, and it's always there, it all comes back when there is something that reminds me of him, when I close my eyes. I keep watching Harry coming back with his body, and the world just stops.
I see him sobbing over Cedric, my Cedric and I can't make sense of anything , I don't want to, because he can't be gone, he can't leave me, he promised! But he did, he left me.
Sometimes I wonder what his last thoughts were, Harry says he was thinking of me, says he asked him to bring his body back to me and tell me he loved me, he always will, and that he was sorry, because he couldn't keep his promise after all. He wants he to move on, that much I know, but I can't seem to do so, because no matter how hard I try there seems to be no-one that can even begin to heal that hole he left the night he went into that maze.