Closer to the Edge

By Lucawindmover

Chapter One:

I Remember One Moment

Professor Zei hummed to himself as he cleared a table in preparation for his guests. He couldn't believe his good fortune. Four of the five summonses he'd sent actually came back with notes accepting his invitation. He moved stacks of books off of the table and set them neatly on the floor next to a full bookcase. He would have to remember to get one of the foxes to help him find where they belonged. The professor found himself a little turned around some days. His memory wasn't quite as sharp as it used to be.

The professor had lived in the library for fifteen years now. The great spirit Wan Shi Tong had allowed him his life in exchange for his knowledge. Zei had gladly agreed and spent many years compiling books and scrolls detailing every scrap of information Zei had ever learned. But he had a new idea for a book, a book for the ages. This was a book for which he didn't have all the information and would need to call people to the library for interviews.

It had taken quite a bit of convincing for Wan Shi Tong to agree. There had been no other visitors to his library since he had sunken it all those years ago. He tired of the humans who sought the information in his library as a means of destroying one another. But after some time and good arguments by Professor Zei, he had relented and allowed the scholar to send letters out to the people he needed information from. Wan Shi Tong moved his library back onto the surface of the desert, making it accessible for the people whom the professor had invited to stay and tell their stories.

Zei had fixed up several spare rooms to house his guests. He wasn't quite sure how many beds he would need, but Wan Shi Tong helped him arrange a few in three separate spaces. He didn't know if these people were still in contact with one another or not, and he wasn't sure how much privacy they needed.

Over the years, Professor Zei had managed to keep up on the current events, most of which startled him and pained his heart. It was these reports from above, brought to him by the foxes, which inspired him to get the whole story from the people who had participated in the making of this history. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to get them to tell their stories, but he sincerely hoped they would understand the importance of it for future generations.

He grabbed up a stack of blank scrolls and placed them on the table, along with his ink and brush. Behind him, he heard someone enter the room. It startled him for a moment. After being without other human company for so many years, it felt strange having people moving about the library. He turned in time to see a woman standing in the doorway, looking uncertain and waiting to be invited in.

"Please, come right in Katara. I have a nice chair here for you. Please, make yourself comfortable," Zei said, gesturing to the overstuffed armchair in front of the table.

Katara nodded her head and smiled, moving to the chair. "Thank you, Professor Zei. I am honored that you and Wan Shi Tong have allowed us back to the library. After all these years, I had thought you would be dead, honestly."

The waterbender had changed little over the years. She was nearing thirty but hardly looked a day over twenty despite the hardships she had been forced to endure over the years. Her hair was still long and flowing, her skin still a creamy caramel, though her figure was more rounded than the professor remembered. Then again, she had been a child the last time he had seen her. She had become a beautiful woman in the years since she had been traveling with the Avatar.

Zei nodded in return and seated himself at the table. "It's a pleasure to have you, all the same. It truly is. Thank you for coming. I know that the times are a little uncomfortable still, but I'm glad to see you and the children were able to travel safely."

Katara smiled and nodded, folding her hands in her lap. They sat for a moment, each waiting for the other to start speaking. When the professor didn't prompt her, Katara asked, "So what is it you would like to know, Professor Zei? You didn't really say exactly in your letter."

Professor Zei cleared his through nervously. He had intentionally been vague in his letters because the information he needed might be hard to divulge. He was going to ask hard questions and stir up old memories, and he wasn't sure if he'd be rewarded or not.

"Well Katara, I was hoping to learn your story. I have a lot of questions I'd like to ask, and though some of them might be a little personal, I hope you'd answer anyway. See, I'm writing the history of the changing of the world. A lot has happened in the last fifteen years. There have been terrible losses and hard-won gains. You have been at the center, or very near it, of most of the biggest changes. I had hoped you would help me tell the story, for the generations of the future."

Katara quietly considered what the professor was asking of her. Could she possibly dredge up all of the memories she didn't want to relive? When she thought of her children and the message her memories would hold for their generation and the ones to follow, she knew that this was a small thing to ask.

The waterbender sighed and nodded to the professor. "I will tell you what I can, Professor Zei. I will answer your questions as honestly as I can. That's all that I can promise."

"That's all I could ask for," the professor said. "Now, where to begin? If you could start perhaps with the death of the Avatar."

Katara's sharp intake of breath pulled Professor Zei's eyes up from his scroll. She had known this was coming. She knew she was going to have to talk about it eventually. This didn't make it any easier though, and she felt her throat tightening even after all these years.

Zei was afraid she wouldn't answer and so he prompted her. "It was during the fall of Ba Sing Se, wasn't it?"

Katara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I remember one moment so clearly. I remember thinking that Zuko had changed, that he would fight with us for what was good. For what was right. When Iroh and," she paused, stumbling over the Avatar's name. "Aang burst into that underground cave, I thought for sure we would be able to escape. That we could take Zuko with us."

She paused and Zei took the moment to ask her a question. "What was it that made you think Prince Zuko would fight with you and not against you?"

It was a difficult question. "I'm not sure how to explain it actually. We had a moment, when we realized that we had both lost our mothers because of the war. I looked at him and understood for the first time that just because he was Fire Nation didn't mean he was less of a person. I realized that just being from the Fire Nation didn't automatically make a person bad or evil. Before that moment, that was all I'd been able to see. And then, in that one short conversation, my whole perception changed," she paused and shifted in her chair. "The way he looked at me made me think he understood this too. I thought he had realized that could fight for the good side if he wanted to. I was even going to try and heal his scar."

"How were you going to heal his scar?" the professor asked, genuinely intrigued.

Katara smiled, but it was a smile with no happiness behind it. "I had a small vial of water from the North Pole. It was sacred Spirit Oasis water and had special abilities. I thought that if I used it to heal his scar, it would work better than normal water would. But before I could help him, Aang and Iroh got there to rescue me," Katara took another deep breath. "Sometimes I wonder about that moment. If I had been able to heal his scar, would he have sided with us? Would he have fought against his sister instead of with her? She offered him his old life back. Maybe he wouldn't have wanted it."

Katara looked up to see the professor scribbling wildly in an attempt to keep up. She felt like she hadn't even said anything important yet, but then again, she wasn't the one writing the story. He spoke without looking up. "It's very easy to fall into the habit of wondering what might have been. But in reality, all the wondering in the world won't change what is in the past."

The waterbender nodded, knowing his logic was sound. It was something she'd had to tell herself often over the years.

She waited for a moment, knowing that the professor really wanted her to continue. But the next part was the part she had been dreading. She straightened herself in her chair and was about to continue when the professor interrupted her thoughts.

"He was more to you than just the Avatar, wasn't he?"

Having the question laid out so bluntly brought tears to Katara's eyes. "Yes. He was never just the Avatar to me. In fact, that was one of the least important things about him to me. He was my best friend in the whole world. And sometimes, I was beginning to think he was more than that even."

Tears began to stream down her cheeks. Zei was instantly sorry he had put such a question to her, but these were the kind of things he needed to know. With a wave of her hand, the master waterbender pulled the tears away from her face and let them fall to the floor. It was such a casual motion that Zei figured she hadn't even thought about it.

"I loved Aang, with all my heart. And it was Zuko and his horrible sister who took him from me. They took the Avatar from the world forever."

Professor Zei's eyes grew wide. "So it's true then? The Avatar won't be reincarnated into the Water Tribe?"

Katara nodded sadly. "Aang was told by Avatar Roku that being in the avatar state was his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. Being killed in the avatar state would end the cycle for good. And Aang was in the avatar state when he was hit with the lightning."

Zei stared at her, speechless. There had been rumors of this, but no one seemed to be sure that it was the truth.

"Of course, everyone is still hopeful that the spirits haven't abandoned us and that a new avatar will still be born in the Water Tribe. All of the children born in the last fifteen years have been watched very closely, including my own," Katara shook her head sadly. "It's a waste of time though. The Avatar is no more."

Professor Zei moved his brush as quickly as he could and still be writing something that was legible. Oh how could this terrible news be true? Could the world really go on with no Avatar? He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. He had completely covered this first parchment.

Katara watched as the professor stood and moved his large paper to another clean table. The ink was still wet so he moved it carefully, not wanting to disrupt his writing. He came back to the table in front of her and arranged a new piece of paper on which to record the continuing story. When he was ready, he asked her another question. "You said he was hit by lightning. How did this happen?"

"That would be the Fire Princess Azula's work," Katara started, closing her eyes and thinking back to the underground battle. "I was fighting Zuko by the end of the battle. Azula had taken after Aang and they were pretty well matched. I'm not sure how the fight would have gone if it weren't for the Dai Li. In a matter of moments we were surrounded. I wasn't about to give up, but I guess Aang thought we were doomed. He pulled himself into a crystal hut and I assume he meditated for a minute because the crystal started glowing. I knew he had gone into the avatar state. Everyone had stopped and started staring at him. I could feel the Dai Li moving back. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of what Aang could do in the avatar state."

Katara looked back down at her hands. "And then I saw the lightning. It happened so fast I wasn't sure what was going on at first. It hit him in the foot and left through his back. I could tell before he hit the ground that he was gone."

She paused. She had to take a deep breath before she could continue. "It was Azula. That power-hungry, crazy, blood-thirsty girl. I could see her from across the cavern. She was grinning, like she had just won the greatest prize. And then I saw Zuko. I hated him so much in that moment, almost more than I did Azula. Because after turning his back on me and fighting with his sister, he had the gall to stand there and look shocked at the fact that his sister had just destroyed the world's only hope for peace."

Katara buried her face in her hands. She had been suppressing these memories for so long. Pulling them back to the front of her mind now was very painful, and very draining. Professor Zei could see that retelling the story was very hard for her. It hurt him that he was asking so much of her.

"Katara, why don't we take a break? We could come back to this in a little while," he suggested, hoping that he hadn't burned her out already.

Katara nodded gratefully. "Thank you Professor Zei. I think I'll just go see how the children are settling in."

Professor Zei nodded and watched as Katara stood and left the room. He frowned as he looked down at his half-filled page. He hoped this tension between Katara and Zuko had abated a bit. It would be a terrible conflict when he arrived if they had not.

A/N: Thank you for reading so far. I know that not a lot has happened so far in the story, but this is pretty much just a set up for the rest of the story. It's going to be a bumpy, emotional ride, but I think you'll like it very much if you stick with me. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.