As I sat in the freezing cold I cried silently, to make sure not to wake my Dad up. I wrapped my thin sheet around my body tighter as a puff of cold air blew by. This has been my nightly routine ever since that tree fell on the house and broke my window leaving a huge whole in the wall. My window, or the hole where my window used to be, leads out onto a balcony. Thankfully the tree didn't break the balcony as well.
The tree broke my window roughly around four weeks ago and my Dad still hasn't fixed it. He hasn't even given me a blanket to pin up to keep the rain out. But, I guess its just another thing that I deserve. The pain that I caused him, both him and my older brother Carter—I don't even deserve to be alive...so I guess I can deal with having a hole in my wall.
Once it started sprinkling I went inside my room—well really its the attic. Thats just another thing I deserve. I don't mind this one though, now I can stay out of my Dad and Carters sight better. If there is anyway of helping them forget what I've done to ruin their lives forever, its staying out of their sight.
I shuffle over to my mattress on the floor and droped down. I take my shirt off and bunch it up as a make shift pillow. The pillow that Abby gave me last week went missing yesterday. That happens every time Abby gives me something. Dad says I don't deserve such luxuries. And anything but whats required to stay alive are considered luxuries, and that excludes pillows.
I pulled my thin sheet up to my chin and rubbed my legs together to keep warm. It felt like as soon as I shut my eyes I heard the alarm on my watch go off, but I know that I got at least six hours of sleep. I groaned quietly and shut my watch off. I stretched for a second and pulled my tank top back on.
I grabbed what I was going to wear today: a plain white v neck tee shirt, some black skinny jeans and my old beat up converse that I've had since Freshman year. I got my flash light that was hidden in my dresser and went back to the area where my bed was. I shined the flash light on the floor to find the right wood plank and put my foot on the end, lifting it up.
I grabbed the shampoo, conditioner and body soap that Abby gave me. I know, I know its wrong to hide things from your parents like this but my Dad wont buy me any of these things and it was embarrassing going to school with unwashed hair and BO.
I put the wood plank back in place and tip toed to the bath room down the hall. I took a quick six minute shower and got dressed. I brushed my hair with my broken brush—the brush part fell out of the handle a couple of months back. I didn't tell Abby about it because I didn't want her giving me anything more than she already does.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror and sighed. The only thing that isn't plain about me was my long black hair. It went past the middle of my back, I haven't had it cut sense sixth grade. No matter how much damaged it suffers through out the day, it always looks shiny and smooth. But my face is a big blah and I have scars all over my body—thank god there is none on my face. I'd have to come up with a story for each one and I'm not the best liar in the world.
I would wear make up but my Dad says no amount of make-up would make someone who looks like me beautiful, so he doesn't give me any money to buy some for myself. I would get my own job but I have to much to do around the house: Cleaning, cooking, and of curse homework.
After five minutes of huffing and puffing over my reflection I went down stairs to cook breakfast, after I put the "luxuries" back under the wood plank of curse. I don't even want to think about what would happen if my Father found them in the shower when I was at school.
When I got in the kitchen my heart raced at the sight of my Father sitting at the table looking not so happy—pfft, not so happy is an understatement here. Even furious would be considered an understatement. "You sure did spend a long time in the bathroom today. Crying over your grungy reflection again?" He sneered at me over his newspaper. I didn't look into his eyes afraid of the hatred I would see in them.
"No sir, I wasn't. I'm sorry I took so long," I said softly and walked to the fridge. I got out all the ingredients for breakfast and prepared to cook it. As I did so I couldn't help but be hurt by what he said. Grungy reflection? I didn't think I looked dirty when I saw my reflection. Plain but not grungy.
"Don't be sorry. Just don't let it happen again," He grunted and went back to his newspaper, his loud smokers cough echoing through out the house.
I frowned at him and whispered, "Yes sir." That was the last thing we said to each other the whole morning.
Carter drove us to school in silence. Well, it wasn't exactly silence seeing as he had his Saosin CD blasting at full volume the whole car ride, but we were silent. He got out of the car and walked towards the school without even a glace my way. I sighed and followed him. I walked into the cafeteria where all the kids have to hang out before classes start. When I walked through the door a familiar female voice squealed, "Kimsters! I missed you!"
I laughed as Abby picked me up into a hug and spun us around in circles. Abby and I have been best friends since we were six years old. It all started at day care. This older girl had taken my blankie and wouldn't give it back. All I could do was cry. When Abby saw what was happening she walked up to the older girl and pushed her down—getting my blankie back to me after much scolding from the adults. We've been inseparable ever since.
Abby has natural dirty blond hair and unique green eyes. Her hair is naturally straight but she curls it everyday. She has a pale skin tone with light brown freckles running over her nose and cheeks. Her personality does not match up with the way she looks at all. If it did she'd be calm and quiet. She is everything but that.
"Abby we were only apart from each other for the weekend."
She stopped spinning to put me back down. She looked at me with a glum expression and said, while never once looking me in the eyes, "I know that! I just don't like leaving you alone with them. It scares me."
"Well it shouldn't." I sighed at her persistence. Shes always telling me how my Father is a such horrible person and that he should be put in jail for what he does to me. But she just doesn't understand. I'm the reason he acts that way! So I have to live with the consequences.
"Yes it should, Kim. It should scare you!" She yelled, taking my face in her hands so I looked at her.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" A group of idiotic boys were chanting at us when they saw how Abby was holding me. I looked away from their table and blushed. I tried to pry Abby's arms away but she wouldn't budge.
"He...he hasn't done anything lately," I said faintly and she let go of me. She linked her arm through mine and we walked towards our table.
"Good! Cause next time he does I am telling the police. He should not be doing this to you. It wasn't your fault that—" I interrupted her by yanking my arm from hers.
"Don't say it! Please...just don't," I begged with tears in my eyes. I don't want to be reminded of what I did. Ever. Abby says it wasn't my fault, but it is. Shes just saying its not to make be feel better because shes my best friend.
"Okay, okay I wont say it. But it was not your fault," She said in defeat. We continued walking to our table in quiet. Once we got to the table Landon and Ian ran over and hugged me—one in the front, one in the back.
Abby and I meet Ian and Landon in the same day care. Abby would always steal Ian's cookies and Landon would follow me around with promises of marriage when we were older. Ahh good times, good times. Sometimes I wish we could go back in time and stay six years old forever, it would make things so much easier.
Ian has dark black spiky hair with blond dyed tips. He has a light russet color skin tone and dark black eyes. He's really cute but a little to metro-sexual for my liking.
Landon has short messy black hair with a olive skin tone. His eyes are a really pretty dark blue and his lips make all the girls jealous. Landon is undeniably attractive, but I've been friends with him forever. He's kinda like my brother, so you can see how my liking him sexually would be weird.
"Ohhh its sandwich time! I wanna join!" Justin said, shortly following it with various diffrent catcalls.
We all meet Justin when we were in third grade. Justin has spiky black hair. Its in a punk style, when Ian's is preppy. He has a dark russet color skin tone with light brown eyes. He wears eye-liner, Ian and Landon always make fun of him because of it. They call it man-liner and make other snard remarks. Again, hes cute but I'm not into the whole bad boy punk thing.
I rolled my eyes and pushed Landon and Ian off of me. Landon kept his arm around my shoulders and Ian kept his hand around my waist. I would of blushed at the contact but I'm so used to it by now I don't give it any thought anymore. This is how they always hold me. People think I'm going out with both of them but were just really close childhood friends.
"Don't be sick Justin!" Abby scolded him and sat down in the seat across from him. She thought for a second and added, "Plus if anyone would be joining it would be me."
Ian scoffed behind me and said, "Please! Neither of you would be able to join. Your not cool enough to get down and jiggy with our Kimber."
"Yeah! Kiki belongs to us only!" Landon added with a huff. Abby's face turned red with anger and folded her arms. Oh god, here we go again!
"You wish! Shes my best friend. You guys are more like meaningless acquaintances," She said with a short laugh. I sighed and didn't make a move to stop the fight I knew was about to start. These three fight so much they put World War II to shame.
"Meaningless acquaintances? We've know each other since we were six, Abby. I don't think that falls under the category of acquaintances!" Landon yelled and after that I blocked the rest of it out until the bell rang.
After we said our goodbyes I went to my History class with a smile on my face. Jared Sullivan was in this class with me. I've had the biggest crush on him since Freshman year. He was so kind and sweet—unlike his best friend, Paul Marshall.
He hasn't been in school for a couple of weeks. I think he got that flu that's been going around. I've been anxiously awaiting his return. I rushed through the door and my heart smiled at what I saw. Jared Sullivan sitting in his assigned seat next to mine. I slowed down when I noticed he looked different. Way different. His hair was cropped short and he looked as if he somehow grew into the six feet area in the past two weeks. And high up in that area too, like 6'5" or maybe 6'6". He was buff before he missed school but now you can see his well defined muscles perfectly through his over filled tee shirt.
I walked faster to my seat and blushed. He was hot before but now he was beyond gorgeous! I guess this means now there's no way in hell I'm going to have a chance with him. Both my smile and blush vanished at the thought.
The teacher called class to attention and I looked at the board—not really paying attention. It wasn't until halfway through class when I felt a hot finger tap my shoulder softly. My heart fluttered as my mind reminded me who sat next to me.
"Do you have a pencil I can borrow? This is going to sound odd but mine kinda of split in half."
I nodded my head slowly and grabbed a pencil from my backpack. I didn't look at him as I handed him the pencil but when our hands touched I gasped softly and looked him in the eyes. Once I did it was like I literally got the breath knocked out of me. My breathing ceased as everything around me started to spin. I shook my head, trying to stop whatever was happening and looked back at him. He was starring at me with a enchanted expression. A huge smile slowly spread across his face as he seemd to comprehend something and he mumbled his thanks. Once he looked away I got my breath back under control and the room stopped spinning.
What in the world just happened?!
A/N: I love Kim/Jared imprint stories! I've actually wanted to write this one for awhile now. I've just never had the time. Clearly her father and brother are abusive and I don't know if this has already been done for a Kim/Jared imprint story. Hopefully not. So, should I continue writing this? One more thing, her window will get fixed. I know some people are like "What in the wrold is this girl thinking?" But do you think if your father was like hers, would he fix it? No, he wouldn't. So yeah...Sorry, I kinda just gave away a spoiler to my own story.
By the way, there are pictures and a playlist on my profile! Check 'em out if you want.