Title: Naughty or Nice

Author: Pinkcat4569

Rating: G

Spoilers: None

Description: It's just a fun, little distraction for the holidays that gets out of hand.

Disclaimer: I don't own Primeval or the characters

Naughty or Nice, Part 1

Jess smiled as she walked into the canteen. She tacked a large glitter sign, half red, half green, to the wall. Then she climbed onto a table, not easy in her white, fur-lined mini shirt, and addressed the crowd.

"Attention. I am helping Father Christmas by keeping a list of all ARC employees. Good behavior lands you on the nice list, that is the green side of the sign, and bad behavior, on the naughty list, the red side. Thank you," she said with a smile.

As she moved off the table, she wobbled but was caught by Becker.

"Thank you," she said. "That lands you on the nice list."

He smirked. "With that skirt, Jess, one slip of my hand and it's the naughty list."

Jess blushed. "Becker," she said, mildly scolding him.

"Who decides if we're naughty or nice?" asked Connor.

"I do," said Jess.

"That doesn't seem fair," said Matt.

"Well, I'm the one keeping track. The board is a sort of a score card. You want more nice than naughty."

"Depends on what you're going for," said Lieutenant Vale. "I have a reputation to uphold." He flashed his white, sizzling smile.

Jess shook her head. "Suit yourself. Anyone can keep track, as long as its fair."

The next few days Jess kept her eyes pealed. For the nice list she documented the following things: Becker bringing her coffee. Becker saving her a piece of cake. Becker fixing her flat tire. Emily helping Abby nurse a baby pterosuar. Connor helping her fix a program. Becker saving Matt's life during a raptor attack. Connor saving Abby during the same attack. Becker helping her hang holly in Op. Lester defending the team to the minister after they demolished three double decker buses, and each team member saving nearly two hundred people during that incident.

"Is it just me or is Becker getting more 'nices,' than the rest of us?" asked Connor.

Jess made a disapproving sound with her teeth. "That was naughty," she said, making a notation on her PDA.

"Did you just 'naughty' me? That's not fair," said Connor.

"You are kind of biased toward Becker," said Abby.

Jess shook her head, and made another notation.

"Did you just mark me as naughty?" asked Abby. "For questioning you?"

"She's a nice/naughty Nazi."

"Connor! That's not nice," she said, making a notation.

"I thought you were going to be fair," said Matt.

"I am."

"No, you're not," said Abby.

"You're marking Becker as super-nice because you fancy him!" cried Connor.

"I am not! I do not!"

"Perhaps, we should have a committee to decide on who is what," said Emily.

"No," said Jess. "My rules."

"I'm going down to the canteen," said Connor. "I'm going to get a cuppa, a piece of cake, and take my marker with me."

"Marker?"

Abby smirked. "I think you should check the naughty list in a few minutes Jess."

"Fine, add me to the naughty list," she said. "I don't care."

Abby and Connor walked off, Abby smiling but Connor looked miffed.

Matt smirked and bent down to Jess. "Hoping a certain Captain will punish you?" he whispered.

She blushed red. "Matt! Naughty!"

Matt laughed as she made another notation.

A few days later, Becker walked into the canteen. There was a small crowd around the naughty/nice list, and they were giggling.

"What's so funny?" he asked. "Vale has so many naughties they had to start another list?"

"No sir, almost, but not for Vale," said private Thompson.

"Really, who?" he asked, interested.

Nurse Beverly laughed. "Connor and Jess are having a war," she said.

"Yeah," said Thompson. "They're both full on the naughty side, and its getting pretty vindictive."

Becker laughed. "Let me see."

Beverly stopped him. "You might not want to, Captain."

Thompson looked at his CO. "It might be a little...warm, for you Sir."

"What do you mean?" asked Becker. "Let me see."

Becker saw Jess' nice list. His name was mentioned about twenty times, and the comments weren't straightforward anymore.

"Becker, being a hero and catching a Terror Bird practically by himself. Becker, being a sweetheart and bringing Jess dinner when she was too swamped to get it herself. Becker, holding off ten future predators and protecting Connor as he opened the future anomaly."

Becker blushed. It was Connor's list, however, that made him, as Thompson had said, warm.

Connor's naughty list read: "Jess, staring at Becker's bum. Jess, hogging the prawn crackers for Becker. Jess, changing the break room radio to Becker's favorite channel when Connor was listening to his. Jess, writing more Becker on the nice list than anyone else. Jess writing more Connor on the naughty list for making fun of her and Becker. Jess, drooling over Becker working out on the monitor instead of checking Connor's program like she promised."

"You're right. It's vindictive," said Becker, blushing.

"Read Jess' naughty side," said Beverly.

"Do I really want to?" asked Becker. Beverly chuckled, but Becker read it.

Jess' naughty list read: "Connor, for being a grinch and attacking Jess on the naughty list. Connor, for eating the chocolate Becker gave Jess. Connor, for teasing Becker about not knowing as much scientic mumbo-jumbo that no one really needs to know as Connor. Connor, for re-setting Jess' alarm clock radio so she woke up to that horrible stuff Connor listens to. Connor, for taking a photo of Jess looking at Becker, casually, just by chance, and not staring at his bum by the way, and posting it on her ARC web page."

"He didn't really do that last one, did he?" asked Becker.

"He did," said Abby, walking in. "It was up for a whole day before I realized it. He took it down, and apologized, but Jess is angry, and Connor is mad at her. Becker, we need to stop this. I've tried to reason with Connor but he's acting like a brat."

Becker sighed. "Trust those two to turn something small and inconsequential into a big frothy mess. I'll talk to Jess. Keep trying with Connor."

"Uh, Sir," said Thompson, "Are you sure you should? You'll just end up in another glowing entry on the nice list."

Becker sighed and shook his head. "I hate Christmas," he muttered.

End of Part 1