You can't Watch What's not There

Disclaimer: I own a crazy, weird, messed-up, and indescribable imagination full of random ideas, but not Artemis Fowl. He belongs to Eoin Colfer's not-messed-up, totally awesome imagination.

A/N: This a one-shot about Juliet baby-sitting the twins. It takes place within the first two months that Artemis comes back from Limbo. I wrote it to celebrate summer, so... Happy summer everyone! I hope you guys like it!

Edited by: Emily/Eleos & I'mDifferent-GetOverIt

It was a nice spring day when Angeline and Artemis Fowl Senior were out at the park. The Fowl twins, Beckett and Myles, were being watched by none other than Juliet Butler. And she was getting really annoyed with those raucous, little boys.

Juliet was sitting down watching said twins run around the parlor. Beckett was chasing Myles whilst trying to steal his twin's bouncy ball.

"Gimmie it!" yelled Beckett. "I wanna play with it!" The boys were on Juliet's last nerve. She stood up abruptly.

"Hey, Beckett. Myles. Do you guys want to play hide and seek?" she asked, seemingly innocently.

"Yes, yes! We want to play!" the boys yelled in unison. It quickly turned into a chant. "Hide and seek! Hide and seek!"

"Okay, okay. You guys go hide and I'll seek. Now, go!" she commanded. The twins ran off, quietly discussing their choice of hiding areas. Juliet put her face against the wall. She began to count, with a smile spreading slowly on her face. "One, two, three…"

"Let's go hide under the desk in Arty-mis's study!" suggested Beckett. "Yeah, Juliet will not look in his study. Arty-mis yelled at her last time."

The twins quietly inched up the stairs, tip-toed into Artemis's study, and shut the door behind them. Their brother was away with Butler on a rather shady business opportunity with an art dealer. But the twins didn't know that, all they cared about was that their brother didn't allow Juliet in there, so they could hide in there without too much fear of being discovered. Under the desk they went, ready for Juliet to holler the warning before she started looking.

"…twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty! Ready or not, here I come!" And at that, Juliet took out her wrestling magazine and sat back down.

"Beckett, you simple-toon! Be quiet!" whispered Myles furiously. It has been fifteen minutes since Juliet started looking, and Beckett resulted to humming the tune of Bill Nye the Science Guy to keep his boredom in check. Myles handed Beckett his bouncy ball. "Here. Take this and be quiet. We can't let Juliet find us!"

"Ooh, the Crazy Bear's back in the big time!" Juliet was still flipping through the aforementioned wrestling magazine, the twins were still hiding. It was quiet and that was all she cared about.

Beckett's head bobbed up and down. "Look at the bouncy ball. Whee! How long's it been, Myles?"

Myles checked his watch. "It has been about an hour. Juliet is not good at this game."

Juliet checked the wall clock. 'Oh, it's been almost an hour,' she thought. 'I figured they would find out that I had quit by now. Oh well, I should go look for them.'

Juliet checked the library. Nope. The kitchen. Not there. Then she checked the parlor, the laundry room, the basement, and their parents' bedroom. No, no, no, and no. 'Where were they?' she thought, utterly annoyed by now. She looked through the house with a fine-toothed comb.

"I'm gettin' tired. I'm taking a nap." said Beckett sleepily. Myles yawned. "Mmm, me too." They twins closed their eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

After half an hour of vigorous searching, the only place Juliet hadn't checked yet was Artemis's study. 'Artemis isn't home,' she thought to herself. 'I suppose I could check.' The other, logical part of her mind thought back, 'Yes, but he could have booby-trapped his study to keep me out.' But then she countered that thought with, 'Yeah, but I should really find Beckett and Myles.' She hiked up the stairs and skidded to a sudden stop in front of Artemis's study's door. Out of impulse, she knocked hard, three times. 'Darn, why'd I do that? Stupid habits.'

Myles woke up to the sound of someone knocking on a door. "Beckett, wake up, you simple-toon. I think Juliet found us." His twin woke up slowly. "Huh? Who's that?" Beckett asked groggily.

Juliet walked cautiously into Artemis's study, scanning the room for possible traps. You never know. Artemis could've booby-trapped his own study. But then the twins couldn't have possibly gotten in. "Beckett? Myles? Where are you guys? Are you in here?" she asked in a sing-songy voice.

The twins withdrew farther into the back of the desk, against the wall. They watched Juliet check in the closet, behind a bookcase, and even inside the cabinets of Artemis's bureau drawer. But she didn't check under the desk. 'Why?' Myles wondered.

Why? Because Juliet thought the twins, well at least Myles, were smart enough to not hide under a desk. It was such an obvious place anyway! So, Juliet passed by the desk, not even giving it a second glance.

Frustrated, she left the room. 'I guess I was wrong. About Artemis booby-trapping his study and the twins hiding in there. Now, where haven't I checked?' She thought hard. 'Maybe they are in the garden!' And so she walked down the stairs and headed outside with a false sense of achievement.

As soon as she left, Beckett and Myles slunk out of their hiding spot under the desk. "Juliet didn't find us," said Beckett happily.

"Yes, we were in a rather obvious hiding spot, too," remarked Myles. "It shouldn't have been that hard to find us." Beckett only understood half of what his twin said.

"Juliet simple-toon?" Beckett asked. To answer his question, Myles simply said, "Yes. Juliet simple-toon." Then the two erupted into a fit of giggles.

Juliet could not find the twins anywhere in the garden, either. 'This is the last time I ever play hide and go seek with those twins.' She went back inside to the kitchen to get a glass of cold water. 'I need a quick break', she thought. 'Then I'll continue looking.'

Beckett and Myles walked back downstairs to the parlor. "Let's play ball! I wanna play ball!" Beckett demanded his twin.

"Okay, I will chase you." agreed Myles happily. So Beckett took the ball and started running around while Myles chased him, this time. They yelled joyously as they ran around the big room.

'What is that screaming?' thought Juliet as she drank her ice-cold water. Taking her glass with her, she walked into the parlor. CRASH! Juliet dropped her glass as someone bumped into her. The twins were right in front of her, not missing in action at all. 'Where did they come from? I checked the whole house!'

"Where were you two hiding?" Juliet demanded, arms crossed. Beckett stepped up. "We was hiding in Arty's room!" he simply replied. "But Juliet didn't see us there, so Juliet is simple-toon!" he added happily.

Juliet scowled. "No calling your care-taker a simple-toon, Beckett," she scolded.

"Juliet is simple-toon!" Beckett yelled in a sing-song tone as he started running around the room again. Then Myles started chasing Beckett again, Juliet sat back down on the chaise, utterly annoyed and at a loss for actions. Suddenly, another idea popped into mind. And as you should know, being Juliet's idea, it was rather ridiculous. "Hey twins," she called out to them harmlessly.

"Do you boys want to learn a new game?" The twins stopped in their tracks and looked up. Their faces lit up with curiosity and excitement.

"What kind of game is it, Juliet?" asked Myles cheerily.

"You'll love it!" Juliet cooed, "It's called wrestling." And at that, Juliet grabbed the twins' hands and dragged them to the gym.

Peace

FanFiction

Fin

- Apollo Fowl II