Welcome to my world! If you have been a reader of It Was The Year of Fire, welcome back to Season 2, go ahead and skip this introduction and enjoy the big reveal!

If not, but you think you might be interested in this story, let me tell you a little bit about it: This story is the run of the series as if it included Sam's best friend from college, Jen, who is definitively more than she seems. She's not particularly involved with the cases, but likes to poke and prod into the boys psyches and get to the more complex parts of the story and the feelings that the Winchesters don't like to talk about. What you will mostly find here is missing scenes and episode tags of the angst and hurt/comfort variety, along with a few extra stories in between the ones in canon. If you want to get to know Jen from the beginning (especially as this particular chapter contains a major reveal about Jen's life) please check out my completed story It Was The Year of Fire. The simple version, if you don't mind being spoiled by reading this chapter, is that she was best friends with Sam and Jess in college and when Jess died, she came with Sam and Dean. Her reasons for that are complex and still relatively unknown, but she's been an important aspect of their journey. She has no romantic interest in Sam or Dean, but still seems to be more than just a good friend along for the ride. This season, some of her motives become more apparent, but she remains partially a mystery to Sam and Dean. I hope you like it!

Also, consider this entire story to have spoilers up through the end of season 2.

Sam couldn't believe what he just heard. The possibility of Dean not waking up again was just not something Sam was willing to accept. Yet, looking at his brother in the hospital bed, tubes sticking out of him … no! This couldn't be happening. Not now.

Sam bit his lip, tears filling his eyes.

"Sam." Jen's voice floated into the room. Sam looked up just as she entered and came quickly to him. Without a second's hesitation he grabbed her, squeezing her tightly.

"Thank God you're here." Sam whispered just as his composure broke and a sob shook his shoulders as he buried his head into Jen.

"I know. I heard." She said quietly. "I was just outside."

Sam kept holding onto Jen, trying to calm himself. He knew crying wasn't going to help anyone. Jen was as steady and strong as ever, and Sam used that to pull himself together.

He whispered again, just barely getting the words out. "We have to find a way to help Dean."

Her voice echoed in Sam's ear with complete confidence. "If there is a way out there, I'm sure you or John will find it."

Sam wished he had her confidence.

John watched Sam go off with his list of supplies. He hated that he just lied to him, but he knew that it was the only way.

The door clicked open again. John looked up bracing himself for another round with his youngest, but Jen entered instead. She smiled at John and carefully shut the door behind her before coming to sit by John's side.

"Sam and Bobby don't need me to tow a car, how about I stay and keep you company."

"A pretty lady is always good company." John smiled at Jen.

He studied her for a moment. She had been eluding John for years. He checked up on everyone that Sam hung out with at college, and Jen was the only one that John couldn't find. Somehow though, he trusted her. There was no logic behind it, but John had learned over the years to trust his gut, and his gut said that this girl cared about Sam. Dean trusted her too, John could tell. Dean didn't give his trust easily, so that spoke volumes.

Dean. John knew that the chances of saving Dean by conventional means were looking slim. He had an idea, but it was risky. John knew there was a good chance he wouldn't get out of this plan alive, but he had to know someone was going to look after his boys if he didn't. Jen seemed like the only candidate for the job. He had to have faith that they could go on without him, and he only had her to ask.

John was still studying her, lost in thought when she spoke. "What do you want to ask me?"

John was confused for a moment. Had he really given himself away that easily or was she that good? He didn't know, and now wasn't the time to figure it out. He dove right in, asking the tough question.

"I've wanted to ask you more about my boys, what's happened the last few months. You told me back in Colorado that when I left in Chicago, they were wrecked. I need to know what you meant. I need to be sure they will be ok."

Jen took a deep breath and looked John straight in the eyes. He couldn't read her expression.

"You have strong boys, John, I'm sure you aren't surprised, you essentially reared them that way and it serves them well. But you also have boys with hearts, and that strength can only cover a hurting heart for so long. Sam is different than you and Dean, because he wears his heart on his sleeve. He had the hardest time letting you go. But you know what his biggest concern was? He was worried that something would happen to you, off, alone. He had just gotten his father back, and he was scared he might lose him again. Sam's easy. He's usually willing to talk to me, sometimes he even wants to. Dean is another story. He's spent so many years being the strong one that he doesn't always know how to let someone else take care of him. He clings to what he knows, which is you, and Sam, and hunting. And yeah, he was upset after Chicago when he glimpsed his family together again and then had to tear it apart, but you know what really got to Dean? Lawrence. Sam never really knew his mother, but Dean never really grieved for Mary."

John was hit hard by her name. He wasn't expecting to have a conversation about his wife here with Jen. "But Dean was just a kid."

"He was a kid whose father was too busy with his own grief to realize that his son lost the closest person that he had, and never talked about it except in terms of vengeance. In Lawrence he finally had to face a lot of sadness, 22 years of it, and you know Dean, he doesn't want to talk. He'll just bottle it up, get drunk, and get in a fight."

John was hurt by Jen's statement about him, but her voice was without malice, as if she were stating simple facts. She also acted as if she'd known John and Dean all their lives instead of not even a year. She certainly read people well, and she had Dean figured out. He knew exactly what she was talking about, because it was what Dean did after Sam left for college.

John just nodded. Jen continued.

"I caught him after Lawrence, just barely. After Chicago, he talked to me willingly, but only after Sam was okay. Dean is tough, too tough for his own good sometimes. But you know that."

John sighed. "I do."

The conversation came to a pause. Jen seemed to be finished with her description. She had told him straight, no sugar coating or accusations, how difficult things had been for Sam and Dean. Still, John was pretty certain that his plan, a deal, was the only way to save Dean. Deep down, he also knew that the deal would probably include his soul. However, he had never been more certain than now that Sam and Dean would be alright, that Jen could get them through nearly anything.

John looked up at Jen. Her gaze was steady, but she seemed worried, as if she knew what he was thinking. That was impossible though. Even someone who could read people like she did wouldn't possibly imagine John going to the length he was considering to save Dean. He had to let her know that he trusted her though.

"Listen, I haven't exactly been the friendliest with you, but I worry about who my boys bring with them and tell things to. I can tell that you care about them though, and I like you. I know you will take care of my boys if something happens to me."

Jen's eyes squinted slightly and her look was strange, but difficult to interpret. "I think you are going to be fine, John. You shouldn't talk about yourself like that."

John played it off. "I'm an old man, I never know." John wasn't certain, but he thought he saw Jen nod.

For a moment there was silence between them. "Ok, I've had enough here," John suddenly said, pushing himself up. "I want to see my son." Jen helped him out of bed and they headed down to Dean's room.

John was nearly done with the preparation and getting more nervous by the second. The boiler room had been silent, as expected. John knew that this was his last chance to save Dean. It had to work.

He jumped at Jen's voice and spun around. "John, you can't do this."

How could she have snuck up on him? Her footsteps would have echoed, but he heard nothing. His nervousness turned to anger at her insistence. What could she possibly understand about John's situation, his life, and his decisions.

"What are you doing here?"

"Asking you not to sacrifice yourself."

John laughed. This young girl, telling him what to do? "What can you possibly know about sacrifice?" He muttered.

"I know more than you might think."

Her face was expressionless; her voice confident. As John watched her, she began to glow. John's eyes widened in amazement as she was slowly surrounded by an aura of deep red and orange.

John stood for a moment in shock. He had never seen anything like this before, and he thought that he had seen just about everything. He quickly regained his composure and then pulled out the Colt and trained it on her.

"What are you?"

"I am older than humanity and more powerful than most creatures you've met, but, unlike them, my kind have chosen to co-exist with humanity, and therefore, I have sworn not to use my abilities. You might as well put down the gun, it wouldn't work on me anyway. The details of what I am are not important. What is important is that my highest duty is to protect life whenever I can, and specifically the lives of you and your sons. That is why I'm here."

John was still in disbelief. A supernatural creature wanting to help humanity? He had never heard of such a thing. It simply wasn't possible. This had to be an elaborate trick of some kind.

"Why should I believe you?"

Jen suddenly dissolved and John felt a cool breeze flow around and almost through him. As the breeze passed him by, he heard Jen's voice, only, he was certain that it came from inside his own mind.

"Some things simply have to be taken on faith."

John had heard those words before, spoken by Missouri Mosely to him just before he left Lawrence a few months ago.

"You say to trust this Jen, but I know nothing about her. I have nothing but your word that she won't put Sam and Dean in danger."

"Some things simply have to be taken on faith."

John realized that Missouri must have known what he and his sons didn't. She must have known what Jen was. Of course, right now, John still wasn't sure what she was. All he knew is that this seemed impossible to fake and that Missouri had never led him wrong.

Jen slowly reappeared on the other side of him. She still had a glow around her, only now it was shades of blue. She spoke aloud again.

"If I wanted to hurt you or your boys, I would have. I've been watching you and your family for over 30 years. It is my job to help you make the best choices. I can't directly interfere or force anyone to take action or make a particular decision. Sam and Dean don't know what I am. They aren't ready. I've decided to show myself to you because our highest law is to protect life, and you are probably about to bargain away yours."

John sighed. "But Dean may not have another chance at life at all."

"But how will he handle you trading yours for his? He wasn't happy the last time a life was traded for his, and that was a stranger."

"We won't tell them. They won't know."

"I don't think anyone will have to tell them. Your kids are smart, you taught them well, and I can't predict how Dean will react, and whether I will be able to reach him."

John had the same worries. Still, he couldn't stand by and do nothing when he had the opportunity to try and save him. "If it means anything to you, I believe you can. I'm not sure I would have done this otherwise."

He looked at Jen again, taking in the full image of this girl, this being. He had never seen Dean trust a person so quickly and fervently, and he finally understood why. She awaited his decision.

"You can't change my mind."

"I didn't think I would, but I had to try. I will leave you then. I want your word you won't tell Sam and Dean what you know about me."

"I promise. Take care of them."

"I will do everything I can." Jen smiled one last time, sadly. Then with a breeze she dissolved into a wisp and was gone.

John was dead. For a moment, Sam didn't believe it. His dad was fine, just a few minutes ago. He couldn't possibly be dead, right? The heart monitor continued to let off a long steady tone, and then a nurse flipped it off. Tears poured into and out of Sam's eyes, and for a moment he wasn't sure that his legs were going to support him. The warmth of Jen's hand on his back reminded him of her presence and he turned to her, grabbing her tightly. She seemed to provide enough support to keep him upright as that first, horrible wave of sadness rushed over him.

After a few moments, when Sam could stand on his own, he looked around for Dean.

"Where's …" He began, but Jen cut him off.

"He went to put his clothes on and call Bobby. Or I think that's what he said. He walked off rather quickly."

Sam didn't like the sound of that. Dean's coping mechanisms, well, frankly, they sucked. Running away from Sam and Jen was probably not a good start. Jen didn't appear too worried, but Sam knew that her poker face was infamous amongst their friends at Stanford.

A nurse came over to Sam and Jen still standing near the doorway with John's body just inside.

"You need to decide what to do with your father's body." She said.

Those words struck Sam in the gut, and he squeezed Jen's hand as his eyes filled with tears again. He didn't know what to say, to do.

"I'll take care of it." Jen said quickly, looking at the nurse. "I'll be there in just a moment." The nurse seemed satisfied and walked back into the room.

Sobs were threatening to break Sam down again, but Jen put her arms around him in a hug. "We'll get through this. Go wait with Dean."

Just two more breaths and Sam stood upright again and headed down the hall to Dean's room.

He found Dean dressed, dry-eyed, and sitting in a chair. Dean looked up at Sam when he walked in.

"Bobby'll be here in a couple of hours."

Sam sat down next to Dean. "Umm, you okay?"

Dean shrugged. "Yeah. I'm fine. Where's Jen?"

"She's handling the paperwork."

"That's nice of her."

"Yeah."

This was definitely not what Sam expected from Dean. It was like he was in some kind of shock. There was no way that was good.

Somehow the three of them survived the next few hours. Mostly, the time went by in silence.

Dean felt numb. It was simply too much to try and make sense of. He remembered waking up, which according to Sam and the doctor was pretty miraculous. Then his father told him something that didn't make sense at all. Then his father was dead. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was forgetting something too. Something important.

Right now though, he had to focus on the facts. The fact was their father was dead, the Colt was gone, and the whole thing stunk of demon. The other fact was that they had no idea how to track this demon without John. Dean was stuck. His training was good, but nobody was as good as John. Therefore, Dean had no plan, nothing to do, nowhere to go, except to Bobby's. Bobby did the impossible before, maybe he could cook something up again.

Plus, Dad always said, if something happened to him, call Paster Jim or Caleb or Bobby, they would know what to do. Well, only one of those men was still alive, so it was an easy choice.

Dean watched as Jen and Bobby helped move the body bag into the trunk of Bobby's car. The hospital orderlies were giving a few odd looks, but it seems that whatever Jen and Bobby had said was convincing enough for everyone to allow this. Bobby said they could take John up to his place, give him a hunter's funeral. Dean knew what that meant: salt and burn. No hunter wanted their spirit stuck down here. Not that Dean thought that would be a problem. He had a vague idea, an inkling, actually, more like a dull ache in his chest about where his Dad's spirit probably was.

No. He couldn't think about that. Not now. It was too complicated and whatever it was it was tied up with Sam. If he thought about his dad, and what he said about Sam, it would be too much.

Dean glanced in the side mirror from the passenger side of Bobby's car and could see Sam leaning on Jen in the backseat already, and probably crying again. No. Dean had to wait. Take time to work all this out first. Figure out what it meant. Only then could he talk to Sam, because then he would know what to do.

The ride back to Bobby's place was quiet. What could anyone say? Dean sure didn't know, and he wasn't about to be the first one to start either.

Sam woke up as the car stopped at Bobby's place to Jen prodding him gently. "We're here."

He must have been asleep for a while, because he hardly remembered the drive at all. That was probably good since he had barely slept at all the last few days.

Then he remembered the task at hand and felt a pit in his stomach. Jen took his hand and gave it a squeeze. She always seemed to know when he needed an extra boost. Then two then got out of the car.

Dean and Bobby were already in the process of transporting John's body to the garage. As soon as they did, Dean mumbled something about checking on the car and took off to the lot. Bobby disappeared off somewhere, and Sam stood at the entrance to the garage staring at his father's body.

Suddenly, Sam felt frozen in place. His father could have just been sleeping for how he looked from here, but he knew that if he got closer it would be obvious that he wasn't. Sam wasn't sure that he was ready to say goodbye. He had so much he wished he had said before. Her touch on his arm interrupted his thoughts.

"Do you want to see him one more time before we wrap him up?" Jen asked.

All Sam could do was nod. He knew that he needed to say something. With Jen's hands on his arm, she gently led him over. Then she let go and Sam looked down at John. He stopped thinking for a moment and picked up John's hand. It was cold, but soft.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry we always argued, and I'm sorry that just as I started to really understand you I lost you. I wish ... I wish it didn't have to happen this way." Tears were obscuring his vision, and he stopped for just a moment to clear the lump in his throat. He had to get through what he needed to say. "I'm going to fight for what you believed in, and we will kill this demon, we will, for you."

Finally finished speaking, the sob that Sam had been holding back escaped and shook his body. He dropped his father's hand and gripped the edge of the table. Jen's arm wrapped around his back and he turned to her, breaking into another sob on her shoulder.

Jen whispered, "I've got you" into Sam's ear and he felt bad for putting her through this.

He mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. This is what I do."

Sam wasn't sure he heard that right, and he didn't know what she meant, but it made him feel better anyway, so he didn't ask. He held on to Jen for a bit longer, not wanting to leave her.

She tapped his back gently. "We need to get John ready."

Sam picked up his head, sniffed, and wiped off his cheeks. Jen reached up to his face, cupping his cheek with her hand and looking into Sam's eyes.

"We'll take care of him now."

Sam nodded slowly. He knew Jen and Bobby would take of his dad. He just didn't know who would take care of him and Dean.