Eiji, give me some popsicles," a very, very bored Ankh demanded of his begrudging alliance member.
"Eiji, I said," Ankh repeated after no reply, "I desire the frozen treats of icy goodness. Bring them. To me."
Once again, he received no answer. He decided to give the human once last chance.
"Hino Eiji," demanded Ankh, "I said, give me popsicles. I require them! Immediately!"
The hobo in question slid down a fire pole and punched the Greeed in the face. "Shut up, Ankh." Eiji said kindly.
"What was that for!?" demanded the blonde, blood dribbling down his chin from his cut lip. But alas, he would get no answer, for Eiji had already slid back up the firepole to who-knows-where.
"Wait, since when did we have a firepole?" Ankh frowned in a sudden confused realization. "And how does saying 'shut up' kindly excuse the fact that he punched me?"
The boxer hobo opened up a trapdoor from the basement and kicked Ankh in the crotch. "Ankh, shut up." Eiji requested warmly before disappearing through the floor.
Ankh, after attempting to double over in pain and realizing that he couldn't, realized that he was chained to a wall. "Wait, what?"
The freezer door opened, and out popped Eiji. Ankh braced himself for another out-of-character assault from the boxer-hobo-man, but he was caught off guard by Eiji transforming into TaToBa and driving a car into his left kneecap.
The café exploded.
Amidst the wreckage, a broken and defeated Ankh sobbed over his unfortunate situation. He cried out a long, mournful soliloquy, a beautiful lamentation of human—and Greeed—frailty. "What is going on!?"
In a swirl of flames, Eiji emerged, followed by a high-schooler with a pompadour and a ghost. "Ankh, this is your fate," Eiji said solemnly.
"IT'S SPACETIIIIIIIIIIIME!" Gentarou excitedly exclaimed.
"Um, what's going on?" Takeru looked around in mild confusion.
"I recruited you two to help me torture Ankh," Eiji benevolently declared. "So I'm going to tell him spoilers from things to cause him unbearable anguish."
"Wait what." Ankh blinked in pain.
Somewhere, Lucas watched his mom die.
Ankh woke up in a cold sweat. "What in all that is undead was that?"
"Nightmare?" Ankh looked around. Normal room, normal bed . . . and a normal Eiji, standing there in just his boxers.
"Apparently." Ankh shook his head.
Eiji turned to leave. "That will teach you to eat moldy popsicles before bed."
"No," Ankh refused, and sucked on a somehow-fuzzy iced treat.
Eiji shrugged and exited the room, before remembering that Hina would probably hit him for walking around without clothes. And that was not a fun thing.
And then Ankh had another nightmare.
Ankh never learned his lesson.