This fic is dedicated to GreenPokeGuy, an avid author and awesome friend. I hope you like it, GreenPokeGuy!

DISCLAIMER: Total Drama belongs to Fresh TV.

WARNING: Contains mild cursing and comedic sociopathy.

Duncan entered his apartment and held the door open as Zoey walked in. Locking the door, Duncan went over to the kitchen area, grabbed cans of Coke and tossed one to Zoey as she sat down on the couch. Duncan plopped down on the seat next to his girlfriends' and took a sip of his fizzy drink.

"Oh God," Duncan groaned, "I can't believe we just witnessed that!"

"Me neither!" Zoey cringed. "That was just awful what we just saw!"

"I mean, we all knew that Brick was ax-crazy, but I never thought he'd go that low!" Duncan shuddered.

"Trust me," Zoey looked up from taking off her jacket, "Chris did a lot of editing that season! There was originally supposed to be 26 episodes! I still can't believe he did that!"

It all happened just a few hours ago. It was a sunny day in British Columbia, and Duncan and Zoey decided to spend the day parasailing. Of course, had they'd known Brick would be there, they would've postponed the parasailing for another day. It was supposed to be a fun-filled day, but Brick just had to ruin it. At least some of their friends were with them as it happened.

Zoey and Duncan hopped onto the boat. They were the first two to get on. Bridgette and Geoff followed. "This is gonna be so rad!" Bridgette smiled, as she sat across from Zoey.

"I know, right!" Zoey agreed. "I did in Spain a few years ago, and needless to say, you are going to have a blast!"

"I still can't believe you haven't done that before," Duncan told Geoff. "You are usually one of the first to do things like this."

"Yeah, but every time I go on a yacht, there is a wicked party!" Geoff chuckled. "Thankfully this party is all about being up in the air!" He thought for a second. "I wonder if they'll be playing that 30 Seconds to Mars song before the first two people have their turn?" he asked.

"Even for a non-Top 40's hit, that song is still overplayed," Scott rolled his eyes.

Dawn nudged him. "Now, now Scott, you sang that song to me once!" she giggled, remembering a few weeks back when Scott burst into their apartment after returning from work and singing that song. Dawn found it humorous and cute.

"Who's gonna believe that?" Scott teased, as Chris and Courtney and Izzy and Blaineley got on.

"Right," said Heather, the boating instructor, barked, as Alejandro got behind the steering wheel, "so apparently we are stuck entertaining you freaks. But because you freaks gave us money, we are going to make sure you guys have had a blast!"

"I WANT TO PET THE FISHIES!" a familiar voice yelled. Everyone turned to face the source of that voice.

"Oh, bloody hell…" Zoey gasped.

Brick stormed onto the boat. Heather stopped him. "Excuse me, did you pay to get on here?!" she demanded.

"I WANT TO PET THE FISHIES!" Brick repeated himself.

"Well I'm afraid you're on the wrong boat," Heather scoffed. "You can always jump in the harbour and maybe if we're lucky, you'll get to pet as much fish as you want in Hell."

"I DON'T' WANT TO GO IN THE WATER!" Brick screamed. "I WANT TO PET THE FISHIES!"

"Just let him on, mi amor," Alejandro told Heather. "I have an idea on how to dispose of him when we are a few miles out to sea," he whispered. Heather smirked.

"Alright Brick, go find an empty seat," Heather told him.

"Wait a minute!" Courtney protested. "How come he gets to go for free while the rest of us had to pay $35?!"

"I'm sorry, do you want to pay on his behalf?" Heather glared at Courtney. "Didn't think so," she added, when Courtney huffed. Chris put his arm around Courtney's back to help her relax. Zoey, Dawn and Scott immediately began to feel uncomfortable now that they psychopath they were stuck with was on the same boat as them.

"I WANT TO SIT ON SOMEONE'S LAP!" Brick shouted. By this time, everyone except for Izzy was now uncomfortable.

"There's, like, two empty seats!" Blaineley glared at Brick. Brick ignored her and sat on Zoey.

"Brick, can you please get off of me?" Zoey glared. The boat hadn't even started to move, and she was already running out of patience.

"NO! I WANT TO SIT ON SOMEONE'S LAP!" Brick screamed.

"Well sit on someone else!" Duncan shoved Brick off of his girlfriend. Ever since he got out of prison, Duncan made an effort not to be aggressive unless it was absolutely necessary. This was the first time he had to use physical force on someone since Total Drama All-Stars. And he did not like that he had to do it, but Brick was making his girlfriend profoundly ill at ease, and there was no way Duncan was going to tolerate this.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Brick whinged. "YOU'RE A MEANIE!"

"Fuck it, I've changed my mind," Heather grabbed Brick and tossed him back onto the quay. "Someone else can kill him instead!"

"You seem to be forgetting that we have Izzy on-board!" Dawn suggested. Nobody was shocked at how out of character that was for the moonchild, not even Scott.

"Yeah, it will take too long," Heather insisted, as she removed the ropes and Alejandro sped off before Brick could get back on the boat.

"I! WANT! TO! PET! THE! FISHIES!" Brick bellowed, but the boat was already fifty metres away from the quay by that point.

Half an hour later, the parachute was set up. Chris and Courtney were among the first to go. Forty minutes later, Duncan and Zoey were the last to go up. They enjoyed the views of the horizon, the harbour and the skyline, being 600 metres up in the air. The couple were laughing and smiling the whole time, plus Duncan was making some obscene gestures for the sake of it, both annoying Zoey and making her laugh.

Unfortunately, their fun was cut short. Alejandro and Heather were forced to reel them back down to the boat. Duncan and Zoey didn't even get dunked into the sea as everyone else did, which sucked. What's worse was the reason why.

"I WANT TO PET THE FUCKING FISHIES!" Brick roared.

"How the hell did he get on here?!" Zoey shrieked.

"How should I know?!" Heather demanded. "I didn't think the bastard could swim!"

"I WANT TO PET THE FISHIES!" Brick repeated himself.

"WE'VE ALREADY HEARD YOU!" Blaineley yelled, before she could stop herself. Brick pointed an AK-47 at her.

"YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN TO ME!" Brick wailed. "I WARNED YOU!" But before he could pull the trigger, Izzy pounced onto Brick and snatched the gun from him.

"NOBODY THREATENS TO MURDER E-SCOPE'S GIRLFRIEND AND GET AWAY WITH IT!" Izzy shouted, hitting Brick in the head with the back of her gun. Sadly, that did not knock Brick out. Brick shoved the gun with such a force that the gun flew into the air landed in the water.

"THIS IS NOT FAIR!" Brick wailed. "I WANT TO PET THE FISHIES!"

"THEN WHY DID YOU GET OUT OF THE WATER THEN?!" Chris demanded.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Brick screamed.

"Well what you do know," said Duncan, "is that you are under arrest!" Without warning, he pounced on Brick. Removing a set of handcuffs from his pocket, he cuffed Brick at the wrists behind his back.

"Brick McArthur, you are under arrest for hijacking a boat and aiming a firearm at an unarmed civilian!" Duncan barked. This action shocked everyone on the boat.

"You're… you're a cop?!" Courtney gasped.

"Yep," Duncan replied. "After I was released from jail, I decided to join the force! Mostly to make amends with my dad and assure him that prison has changed me, but the rest is a long story." He turned to Alejandro and Heather. "Now get us back to the quay so I can take this man to the station!"

"Si, Officer Duncan," Alejandro replied, stomping his foot on the pedal. They drove off back to the land, and Brick was taken to the station.

"Well, if it wasn't for you, we'd all be screwed," Zoey told Duncan.

Duncan shrugged. "Just doing my job," he replied. "But still, it was disturbing. The dipstick did put a gun to Blaineley! And- Wait a minute…" Duncan remembered something important. "Oh shit!"

Thirty minutes off shore, Amy, Samey and their parents were going scuba diving. The twins saw the AK-47 in the water. Looking at one another with murderous eyes, both Samey and Amy lunged for the weapon and proceeded to tug at it.

"IT'S MINE!

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

I'm pretty sure I could've done a better job at this, but oh well. Happy birthday GreenPokeGuy! I hope you enjoyed it.