Do not own NCIS
Kate couldn't, for the life of her, figure out what she was doing at the NCIS office at eleven o'clock at night, no matter how much she racked her brain. She had come of her own volition, with no active case to lure her. She usually felt confident here, and that's what she needed right then. She needed to be somewhere that she knew she was as good, if not better, than everyone else. She tried to push from her mind the times that she had felt, in those very walls where she almost always knew she was safe and amazing, inferior to a red-head.
In the darkness of the bullpen, she slipped behind her desk and sat, her back against the divider, with her knees up and her head back. This was exactly how she had sat in second grade behind her couch when Martin Walter had called her ugly, only then tears had been carving a visible path down her cheeks. She couldn't cry now. She was a federal agent, and breaking down would be a sign of weakness, especially over something so trivial as a man. (She also pushed from her head that, barely a week before, she had been weeping in her bed, over that very thing, even if the specifics were different.) She was just through with crying over relationships that couldn't be or couldn't be anymore.
She was exhausted, physically and mentally, from the shock she had experienced when going on her date and the stress from holding everything in, but she was also cold, so she crawled to the desk beside hers, almost certain that she had seen his jacket disappear beneath it. Sure enough, as she peered under the wooden furniture, there it was, and she gently tugged until it came out. She cuddled into it, using it as a blanket as she rolled into the fetal position and swiftly drifted into and beyond dreamland.
She had been asleep for Lord knows how long when a hand tucked a fallen section of the fabric around her shoulder. She turned her face upward, blinking herself out of sleep. He was squatting next to her and his smile was soft. She whispered his name groggily.
"Gibbs?"
"What are you doing here Kate?" he whispered. He was still smiling at her and her heart ached, but she hid it well, taught by the best, who was also the cause of most of her pain.
"Thought I'd get to work early," she teased. She stretched her elbows above her head. "God, what time is it?"
"Two. You don't need to be here for another six and a half hours, Kate. Let me take you home. Get some real rest." It was a suggestion, and not an order, which itself appealed to Kate. It was also a testament to how sweet she knew he could be.
"I don't want to go home, Gibbs," she complained tiredly, creeping back into her dreamless abyss. "You can understand that, can't you?"
Gibbs sighed and sank entirely to the floor, pulling his agent into his arms. Concerned, he asked quietly, "What happened Kate?"
"Red-head," she mumbled into his chest, and he felt a single tear hit his shirt. "I didn't think he loved me, but I thought he cared enough not to run around behind my back with another woman."
His arms wrapped around her tightly, his hand pressing her face deeper into his breastbone as she began to sob. With the strength it took from his arms to hold her and how much he had seen her endure without breaking down, he knew this was about more than a cheating sort-of boyfriend.
She took a few stabilizing breaths and pulled back a few inches, staring up at him.
"What is it with red-heads anyway, Gibbs?"
He gave a side-nod. He was using his "would-you-look-at-that" voice as he said, "Mostly liars and adulteresses. Not all, I suppose, but all the ones I know. And all the ones you know, too, I guess."
She turned to her side, snuggling closer to him. "Did you cry when your wives cheated on you Gibbs?"
Kate had obviously sidestepped the border of friendly and personal, but if it was considered, that boundary had been crossed already when she had gotten that close to him physically.
"The first time," he confided, after a short inward debate. "I fought 'em, but they came anyway." He tightened his grip on her. "But you shouldn't cry this time. He's the one who lost somethin' special, Katie-girl."
It was amazing how warm he was in contrast to how frozen she had become for the night. She quickly brushed another tear away.
'The fact that she's a red-head is not helping my self-esteem, here,' she thought, and only when Gibbs asked what she meant did she realize that she had said it aloud. She tried to shrug it off, saying it meant nothing, but he wouldn't let her.
"Really Gibbs," she assured. "I'm fine. Except for the fact that William and the man I'm in love with prefer red-heads."
Gibbs knew Kate was tired, but not that tired. Her brain must have been shut off for her to have accidentally said two things she didn't want him to hear. His eyebrows went up.
"Does he now?"
She squeezed her eyes shut. Why did she keep doing that?
"Gibbs…"
"Maybe he should switch to brunettes," he told her, responding instantly to her hesitant voice. "They're better."
His lips were right by her ear, his tone low and seductive. She was finding it difficult to breathe and she straightened as she realized what position she was in. She was in the office at now 3:30, alone with the former marine who was her boss and the man she was in love with. She started to wonder if the slight unease yet exhilarating expectation of the moment was mutual.
"Do you have any experience backing that up?" she teased apprehensively, hoping she was right about what he was saying.
"I'm in love with one." He was smiling now, and she returned it, knowing she had been right. "Does that count?"
"It depends." Kate was very glad she had chosen to come here, even if she didn't know what had drawn her. "Is she any different from the women you actually married?"
"Yep," he answered immediately, then contemplated for a moment. "I know I can trust her. She's as focused and dedicated as I am. She's more important than work."
The last one surprised Kate, and Gibbs was shocked that he had admitted it. In his relationships, and in his life in general, his job almost always came first. But not this time. This time she was everything to him, and he was even sure she felt that strongly about him.
She turned to look up at him, and his soft smile was genuine, proofing, even to Kate the Profiler, that he was telling the truth and he knew it too.
"So, Agent Todd," he whispered, smirking. "Do you think the smell of sawdust is sexy?"
Kate laughed, recalling what Abby had told her that their boss had said about women he dated. She leaned in and kissed him, giving him the answer he needed to both the voiced and silent questions. Kate was grinning as the need for air separated them. Finally her man preferred brunettes.
A/N: You know, after reading this a few times, I've come to notice its irony. I mean, I'm practically dissing red-heads in this one, and I'm a red-head. Well, sort of. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it. Thanks!