DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Kirby, which belongs to Nintendo, or Sonic the Hedgehog, which belongs to Sega! Any other shows that are mentioned belongs to their respective creators! I also don't own the concept of 1 Minute Melee, which belongs to Hyper Gauge!
Let's get right down to the meet of the episode, shall we? Anyway, enjoy!
1 Minute Melee!
With the fighting going on, who needs more time?
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! One victor!
GO!
(Dreamland)
It was another bright day in Dreamland. Well, as bright as it could be. It had been about a month or so since Puss in Boots had been introduced to Kirby, Meta Knight and the folks in Dreamland. Of course, Puss was tricked by the land's king and his servant into hunting for a "monster", which he later learned was Kirby, who was actually an adorable creature (though when Puss pulls out the cute eyes, he still wins in being cute). Regardless, after introducing Kirby and Meta Knight to Shrek and Donkey, the guys teamed up to personally put a smackdown on the penguin king himself.
But much to Meta Knight and Kirby's surprise, King Dedede and his assistant Escargoon were nowhere near Dedede's castle, which meant they were probably hiding somewhere. And find them, they tried to as Kirby, Meta Knight, Puss in Boots, Shrek and Donkey were combing the forest.
"Man, do you have any idea how much longer we have to find that fat penguin king you were talking about? My hooves are killing me, I mean, have you seen my hooves in pain? It's not fun, let me tell you that much!" Donkey said.
"Patience, Donkey. Once we find that penguin king, we'll be sure to give him his just desserts." Shrek, the green ogre, said as he gave a smirk.
Meta Knight looked up in curiosity as he said, in his accent, "I am surprised you want to have revenge on Dedede as well, considering he only summoned Puss."
"Hey, if he's involved, we have to help in some way." Shrek explained. "Plus, it gives a little variety of exploration from the fairy tale world we come from."
Kirby, the pink round ball-like figure, looked around as he puffed up and started to fly up. Donkey looked up as he smiled, "Oh, good idea, Kirby! You search the skies! If you spot a fat penguin from up above, give us the signal!"
As Kirby flew up, Meta Knight looked over to see Puss in Boots looking at his paw. "Puss, you have been awfully quiet."
"Sorry, Sir Meta Knight. I was thinking about what had happened the other day." Puss said, looking up at Meta Knight.
"The voice in our head commanding us to summon that beam of light into that hole, hm?" Meta Knight said as Donkey looked over.
"Yeah, what was that all about, hm?" Donkey asked in curiosity. "I mean, I didn't even know you had magical powers!"
"I didn't." Puss said in confusion. "It was like, something called us to do it."
Shrek paused as he put a finger on his chin, much to Donkey's notice. "You have an idea on what any of this means, Shrek?"
"Honestly, I don't have a clue." Shrek said. "But if I were to make an assumption, maybe you two weren't the only ones... I mean, Dreamland and our home can't be the only dimensions out there, right?"
Donkey paused as Puss and Meta Knight looked at each other. "I suppose you have a point there, Shrek... but how can it be possible for someone to summon a beam of light and send it down another dimension?"
Shrek could only shrug, honestly not having a clue. But before they could ponder further, Meta Knight looked up as he saw another hole opening up. "Another hole?"
Shrek, Donkey, Puss and Meta Knight prepared themselves as they looked determined to face down whatever was in there... but much to their surprise, they looked down as they saw a car like machine flying down from below as they heard loud screaming from inside.
"What do you think that was?" Donkey asked as Kirby came back down. "Oh, hey there, Kirby! You saw that vehicle too, right?"
Kirby nodded as he pointed up... as two more figures popped down from below. All five people looked at each other as they thought about it.
"We better split up and investigate." Meta Knight said.
"Right." Shrek said. "I think me, Donkey and Kirby here will go see what that vehicle was that fell."
"And me and Sir Meta Knight will check out those figures that fell from the other side." Puss agreed.
"Then it's settled!" Shrek said as he got up. "Come on, Donkey, Kirby, we're going to investigate."
Shrek, Donkey and Kirby started going in one direction as Meta Knight and Puss in Boots started going the other direction, wondering what was going on.
Unknown to any of them, deep in a secret hideout inside a tree, a fat penguin king and a purple snail like servant were hiding out as the penguin king was slamming his hand on the screen.
"And..." The penguin king, known as King Dedede, said as he slammed his hand on the control panel, causing the screen that was set up near the base of the tree to come on. "Ah ha! We finally have reception!"
"Sire, please don't do what I think you're going to do." Escargoon sighed as Dedede was dialing a number. Once the screen came on to display, a shady looking man with green hair, sunglasses and a business suit had appeared in front of the screen. "He did it."
"Ah, King Dedede, welcome back to Nightmare Enterprises Online Monster Site. It's been a month since our last talk." The man, known as the Nightmare Enterprises Salesman said as he gave a slick smile.
"Yeah, well, we have a bit of a dilemma." King Dedede said. "Y'see, me and Escargoon here built a machine that lead us to another world, to hire an assassin to get rid of Kirby."
The NME Salesman looked at Dedede in amusement as he laughed, "I suppose that backfired."
"You said it!" Dedede said. "Now the assassin we hired teamed up with Kirby, and is now after me! And now I need a new monster to get rid of both Kirby AND the assassin we hired!"
"Sire, make sure you get something that's cheap. We're on a tight budget as it is." Escargoon whispered.
The NME Salesman paused as he put his hand on his chin. "Hmmm... well, we have been working on a new robotic monster..."
Dedede's eyes widened as he gave a smirk. "I'm listening."
"Well, this robotic creature resembles a hedgehog, BUT it has the capabilities of not only tracking down, but possibly annihilating your problems in one swoop! All you have to do is set it to what you're targeting, and presto! You no longer have problems!" The NME Salesman explained.
King Dedede's eyes widened in pure delight. "I'll take it!"
"SIRE!" Escargoon said in shock.
King Dedede realized what he said as he sat back down and coughed as he asked, "Er, I mean, what's the cost? Because we're on a budget right now..."
The NME Salesman paused as he thought about it... and smirked. "Oh, you are in luck today, my friend, because for one day only, I am willing to rent this beauty to you for five dollars an hour. But if you keep it past five PM, or if it's damaged in anyway, I have to pay you the full price."
"Hmm... renting monsters, huh? I have to say, I never tried that..." King Dedede paused... then smiled. "Okay, why not, I'll rent it. Then once I'm done, I'll bring it back."
"Wonderful. I'll send it to you via quick-instant packaging." The NME Salesman said as he pushed a button.
"How do we know when it'll-" Escargoon started before he heard a knock on the tree. "Wow, you are fast."
"So, out of curiosity, what'll happen if this robot gets damaged, what's the full price on this thing?" Dedede asked.
"Well, unless you have it back by five PM or if it's damaged, you will have to get the full price of THIS paid!" The NME Salesman said as the pricetag of "$600,000,000,000,001" was shown.
Dedede and Escargoon eyes widened in shock as Escargoon groaned, "That's a... lot of zeros."
"Er... out of curiosity, why the one at the end?" Dedede asked, pointing to the one at the end of the tag.
"...It includes tax." The NME Salesman explained. "Well, have fun and call back when you're done with our Robotic Monster."
"That I will do!" Dedede said as he hung up. Dedede then turned with glee as he started to rip open the package to reveal the robot standing in front of him... which resembled something of a blue spiny hedgehog like figure. "Well, well, well! Kirby destruction, here we come!"
"Remember sire, we need to make sure this doesn't get damaged." Escargoon said.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Dedede said as he turned on the robot as the robotic hedgehog looked up. "Now listen up, Mr. Roboto, I want you to hunt down Kirby and a cat assassin and make sure you get rid of them personally! Here's a photo of Kirby, and here's a photo of the cat assassin we hired. Memorize them, then give chase. We'll be following close behind!"
The robotic hedgehog looked between the two photos for a few seconds... before tearing them up as the eyes turned red. The robot then activated boosters on its feet and started to blast off.
"Oh, THIS I need to see!" King Dedede said as he started running out. "Come on, Escargoon, we're going to watch that monster clobber that there Kirby and that cat assassin!"
"I'll start the car!" Escargoon smiled as he started to follow in King Dedede's footsteps.
Meanwhile, back with Shrek, Donkey and Kirby, they had just arrived at the crash site where they saw the vehicle lay. All three of them looked in surprise as Donkey asked, "Hey, Shrek, what do you think is inside there?"
"I don't know for sure, but we need to investigate." Shrek said as he noticed the pink fluffball was starting to head towards the ship. "He seems to be getting the right idea."
Donkey nodded nervously as he looked over to Shrek. "Hey, Shrek, quick question. I've been listening through the grape vine about some rumors, and I want to know what the heck is with that whole 'Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life' thing."
Shrek stopped as he looked over at Donkey, bewildered. "Uh, Donkey, do you even KNOW what THAT refers to?"
"Duh, obviously. Someone is a big fan of you, but they seem to forget, I'm with you too. Why isn't it 'Donkey is Love, Donkey is Life'?" Donkey asked. "I mean, I'm just as lovable as you are, I'm a very talkable guy, I come up with the funny jokes, and I even love waffles!"
"Donkey, can we bring this up another time?" Shrek argued.
"Well, I'm just saying, it should be 'Donkey is Love, Donkey is Life'. I mean, I am the funny one." Donkey said, rolling his eyes.
"Donkey, your naïve little mind intrigues me. Just... don't bring that up, please. I heard about the thing, it wasn't good, it doesn't paint me good, let's just move on!" Shrek argued.
Donkey blinked, before turning to see Kirby looking over the strange flying vehicle in curiosity as he knocked on the door.
Unknown to the three of them, the same robotic hedgehog that Dedede had sent out earlier was peering out as he scanned the area. The robot then swerved its head around as he examined the target knocking on the ship door.
"Target... acquired." The robotic hedgehog said as his eyes narrowed and started rushing towards it.
Kirby paused in curiosity as he looked up, wondering if anyone is answering. Before he could ponder any further, he was tackled by the robotic hedgehog as Kirby was knocked down on his face.
"Oh man!" Donkey's eyes widened upon seeing the robotic hedgehog tackling Kirby. "What the heck is that thing!"
"Trouble, that's what!" Shrek frowned, rolling his sleeves up a bit. "Come on, Donkey, the little guy needs our help!"
Donkey nodded as he looked ready to charge in.
Kirby looked up as he saw the robotic hedgehog peering into his eyes.
"Destroy... Kirby..." The robotic hedgehog said as he took a step.
Kirby closed his eyes and prepared himself. But before anyone could take a step, the door to the vehicle opened as two figures jumped out and grabbed the robotic hedgehog.
"I got him!"
"No, I got him!"
Kirby, Shrek and Donkey stopped short as they looked at the fight cloud in curiosity, wondering what the heck was going on. Donkey looked at Shrek with a puzzled expression and the ogre could only return the same look to his quadruped friend.
"SILENCE!"
The fight cloud cleared up as the ones who got the mechanical hedgehog by the arms were revealed. The first figure was a robotic chicken, and the second figure was a robotic green tank like creature. But all attention was turned towards the ship as another figure was standing tall and proud.
He was a humanoid man who was pretty fat. He had black eyes with red irises and black pupils, a pink nose, an orange mustache, and he was wearing a red, black and yellow jumpsuit, grey tights and metal gloves.
The chicken and the tank smiled towards the man as the chicken laughed, "Dr. Robotnik, sir, we caught the hedgehog! Can you believe he was standing right outside the crashed ship?"
"Yeah!" The tank laughed. "It's a good thing he was just standing there out in the open. Are you proud of us, Dr. Robotnik?"
The man, known as Dr. Ivo Robotnik, looked at the metal hedgehog, then at his smiling dim-witted robots. His face turned red as he yelled, "YOU NINCOMBOTS! DO YOU NOT KNOW A ROBOT WHEN YOU SEE ONE?"
The chicken and tank, or also known as Scratch and Grouder, yelped as they dropped the hedgehog down on the ground, which, caused the robot to go into piece due to the roughhousing the two robots gave it. Scratch then glared at Grounder as he said, "It's your fault, you know."
"But you were the one who sai-" Grounder started.
"It doesn't MATTER who started it!" Dr. Robotnik yelled. "The point is is that we don't know where we are, thanks to you BUMBLING robots interfering with my dimensional machine! How am I supposed to communicate with the other Robotniks to team up and destoy our one true enemy, Sonic the Hedgehog!"
Scratch and Grounder looked at each other... before shrugging. Shrek, Donkey and Kirby, who have been standing by this whole time, just watched in exasperation and frowned as they kept listening.
"Now! In order to get ourselves back to our own dimension, we need to fix the machine you two have destroyed! If we're going to get communication to the OTHER Robotniks, we need to do it right!" Dr. Robotnik said.
"Er, you do realize we've been standing here this whole time and we just overheard everything you just said, right?"
Dr. Robotnik and his robots head's quickly turned over as they saw the smiling Donkey, the frowning ogre Shrek, and the happy as always Kirby as Kirby walked over. At that moment, a car had pulled up and not only had someone noticed the damages, BUT...
"Beat it, you marshmallow!" Dr. Robotnik said as he kicked Kirby away, screaming.
"HEY!"
Everyone's heads turned as they saw King Dedede coming out of the car, Escargoon just watching as Dedede walked over to the fat man.
"Do you have any idea HOW much I'm going to have to pay for that robot you mangled?" Dedede complained as he pointed to the robot remains.
Robotnik turned to see what was once remaining of the robot. "Oh, was that your robot?"
"Yeah, it was! And now my rent just turned to full pay! You better help me pay for this, pal!" Dedede frowned.
Robotnik scoffed. "Or what?"
King Dedede frowned as he held up his hammer. Donkey and Shrek, who were watching this, looked in interest as Donkey asked, "Isn't that that penguin king that Puss and Meta Knight were looking for?"
Shrek frowned. "So it is."
The two then turned to see Kirby dizzily getting up as Shrek said, "You okay there, little guy?"
Kirby could only give a nod.
Robotnik, who hadn't paid attention to anything, laughed. "You really think you can fight me?"
"I'm thinkin' I'm gonna clobber ya!" King Dedede frowned.
Robotnik laughed as he turned to Scratch and Grounder. "Scratch, Grounder, I'm about to take battle with this penguin! Keep anyone surrounding me and this fat penguin in bay for at least a minute! Even YOU can't screw THIS up!"
"You got it, Dr. Robotnik!" Scratch said as Grounder gave a salute. It was then the two robots turned towards Shrek, Donkey and Kirby.
Shrek and Kirby looked at each other, then at Donkey. "Donkey, go back and find Puss and Meta Knight, tell them we're in battle and we'll need their help!"
"You got it, Shrek! I'll be right back!" Donkey said as he started to run back towards the forest.
Robotnik smiled as he whistled for something. A flying vehicle then came out from within the vehicle, known as the Egg-Mobile that was crashed as Robotnik then climbed into the vehicle in anticipation. Dedede frowned as he clung on to his hammer, saying, "Just because you have mechanical advances won't stop me from clobbering ya!"
Escargoon, who was just watching from the car, pulled out some popcorn as he started to eat. "And I thought today was going to be boring."
WELL, THERE GOES THESE VILLAINS' EXERCISE FOR THE DAY!
FIGHT!
(60 Seconds)
Scratch started to charge towards Shrek as Kirby flew over and started going around Grounder, which left Dedede and Robotnik staring up and down at each other respectively. Robotnik then started the battle by using the Egg-Mobile to charge straight at the penguin. Dedede jumped up in the air as he started swinging his hammer around, knocking the vehicle up as Robotnik started to shake.
Robotnik frowned as he pushed a button on his machine, causing a wrecking ball like object to appear at the bottom. Pushing another button, the wrecking ball started swinging back and forth as Robotnik started going forward. Dedede's eyes widened as he took a big breath and started to puff up, then jumped as he started going up in the air to avoid the wrecking ball coming straight for him.
Robotnik just watched the penguin float through the air as he smirked, spinning himself around with the Egg-Mobile, thusly turning the wrecking ball towards Dedede. The penguin king's eyes widened as he let out the air and started falling towards the ground as he landed on his feet.
(50 Seconds)
As soon as Dedede landed on his feet, he pulled out his giant hammer and slammed it on the incoming wrecking ball coming for him as the wrecking ball fell off the chain and started flying in a different direction.
Robotnik frowned as he pushed another button in his vehicle as he summoned two drills on both sides of his vehicle. As the drills activated, Robotnik pointed the drills down as he and the Egg-Mobile started going underground. Dedede walked over to the hole in confusion.
All of a sudden, he felt the ground shake below his feet as he looked down... just in time for him to be sent flying straight up as he yowled in pain, Robotnik's vehicle and drill popping out of the ground and hitting Dedede in his rear end. Robotnik gave a slight chuckle, but yelped as Dedede used his hammer to slam Robotnik on the head.
Robotnik groaned as he rubbed his head, and then growled as he pushed another button, this time, summoning a giant hammer of his own as it propped itself in front of the Egg-Mobile. The penguin king, seeing the giant hammer, gave a slight laugh as he gripped his hammer tightly.
(40 Seconds)
Robotnik flew towards Dedede as he pushed a button, using the hammer to slam him on the ground as Dedede circled his hammer to defend. Unfortunately, the penguin took Robotnik's giant hammer for granted as it slammed him about three times to the ground.
Dedede groaned as he got up, then frowned as he jumped up in the air and aimed his body in front of Robotnik's machine. Robotnik looked up in confusion... only for Dedede's entire body to slam down Robotnik and his vehicle, causing the fat scientist to get dazed for a moment.
Dedede, seeing an opportunity, grabbed his hammer and slammed it down on Robotnik's head once again as Robotnik's hand managed to push another button to get his Egg-Mobile back in flight. Dedede adjusted his cap a bit as he took a deep breath.
(30 Seconds)
The next thing Robotnik knew, he felt his vehicle being sucked straight to Dedede, due to Dedede taking a big, deep breath. Robotnik turned his Egg-Mobile around as he did his best to get away, but then an idea came to him as he smirked.
Pushing another button, a spiky ball fell from the Egg-Mobile as it got caught in the winds of Dedede as he managed to suck it up. Dedede's eyes widened when he felt the pricks of the spike ball before spitting it out. As Dedede was recovering from the spike ball in the mouth, he did not notice that Robotnik had set up another plan as he summoned a spike from the Egg-Mobile and picked up part of the ground as he drove the Egg-Mobile up.
By the time Dedede had recovered, Robotnik had let go of the dirt as it conked him straight on the head. Dedede frowned as he puffed up and started flying up towards the fat scientist.
(20 Seconds)
Robotnik noticed Dedede flying straight over to him as he started pushing another button on the Egg-Mobile, sending green laser blasts towards the penguin. The self-acclaimed king of Dreamland, seeing the blasts coming, ducked to the side as he got close to Robotnik and sent out his own puff of air at the scientist.
Thankfully for Dedede, that was all he needed as Robotnik's line of sight was covered by Dedede's breath, causing Robotnik to lose sight of what's ahead as his vehicle faltered to the side. Seeing an opportunity, the penguin king raised his hammer and slammed the vehicle down as the Egg-Mobile, along with Robotnik, crashed straight down to the ground.
Dedede then fell down as graceful as possible as he raised his hammer.
(10 Seconds)
The penguin king then started to spin around, holding on to his hammer as Robotnik looked up. He got up and yelped as he tried to run, but Dedede caught up to the scientist and smacked him around.
(5...)
Robotnik's face got smashed a bit as he started showing goofy expressions.
(4...)
Dedede stopped spinning as he felt a little dizzy as he looked over to see Robotnik, dazed and wearing a big, goofy smile, with his tongue sticking out.
(3...)
Smirking, Dedede raised his hammer as Robotnik twirled around, showing his rear end.
(2...)
Dedede raised his hammer up high as he gave a swing.
(1...)
And the penguin king's swing became a direct hit as Robotnik was sent flying up in the air, Dedede squinting as he watched the fat scientist fly up in the air.
KO!
Dedede kept watching as Dr. Robotnik fell face-first into the dirt. Dedede then walked over as he nudged the unconscious scientist, who was out cold. The fat penguin king then gave a laugh as he said, "Like I said, you're paying for that robot that was supposed to clobber Kirby!"
Dedede's eyes widened as he turned to the fight on the other side, "That reminds me!"
Over near Shrek and Kirby's battle with Scratch and Grounder, Scratch and Grounder were both holding each other, as if not knowing they were fighting each other as Kirby and Shrek just looked at each other in amusement.
"KIRBY!"
All four stopped what they were doing as they turned to see the penguin king marching straight to them, holding his hammer in triumph.
"I think it's time we have our battle!" Dedede frowned as he was about to raise his hammer. Kirby took a stance as Shrek frowned, holding his position.
But before Dedede could make a move, three figures came in as one jumped on Dedede's head, the other pulling his sword on Dedede's rear, and the third one had quickly tied up Dedede in a blur. Shrek and Kirby looked in surprise as Scratch and Grounder's eyes widened.
"It's Sonic!" Scratch and Grounder said, pointing to the third figure, who happened to be a smirking, blue hedgehog.
"You were expecting maybe Super Mario?" Sonic the Hedgehog gave a smirk as the other two figures, Puss in Boots and Meta Knight were glaring at the nervous penguin king.
"Er... hear me out." King Dedede smiled nervously at the two figures, glaring menacingly.
"You lied about this "monster". And I do not appreciate being lied to, senor." Puss frowned, glaring at the penguin king as he pulled out his sword.
King Dedede yelped.
"Don't worry, I will not kill you. That is not in the word of honor." Puss reassured the nervous penguin.
"You won't?" King Dedede said in surprise as he smiled. "Well, that's a relief, becau-"
"BUT! I won't show mercy." Puss frowned as he turned to Meta Knight. "Sir Meta Knight?"
"But of course." Meta Knight said as he held up his sword.
But before Puss or Meta Knight could lay a hand or paw on King Dedede, both him and the unconscious Dr. Robotnik disappeared into a cloud of smoke, surprising everyone.
"What th-" Shrek said in shock. "What happened to the penguin king?"
"Sire?" Escargoon jumped out of the car in concern as he looked around. "Sire?"
"Dr. Robotnik?" Scratch said in shock. "Sir?"
"Where are you?" Grounder asked.
Sonic and Kirby just looked at each other in confusion as two more figures appeared, Donkey, along with a two tailed fox known as Miles Prower, or Tails. Tails jumped down as he looked at Sonic. "What happened, what did we miss?"
"I'm as lost as you all are... but I think we should compare stories and see what is going on, yes?" Meta Knight said as everyone looked at each other... then nodded as they turned, wondering what was going on and what happened to Dr. Robotnik or King Dedede.
(Father's Headquarters)
Meanwhile, back in another world, Father waited as a portal appeared, both the unconscious Robotnik and the penguin king flew out as King Dedede rubbed his head.
"Well... that was certainly a close one." King Dedede said as he looked around. "Now, where the heck am I?"
King Dedede then suddenly became aware of the silhouetted figure in the room as he raised an eyebrow. "Er... hi."
Then he frowned as he said, "Now who are you, and where am I, and why am I with this guy?"
Father gave a smirk as he said, "All will be explained, King Dedede, but first, I need to have Dr. Robotnik here recovered."
"How do you know who I am or who this guy is?" King Dedede frowned.
"Oh, I know, because..." Father smirked. "You and Dr. Robotnik here just previously fought... and you both have some sort of power that I can use to track down others."
"Others?" King Dedede raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What do you mean, others? And what powers?"
Father could only give a bit of a smirk. "Let's wait until Robotnik here finishes with his nap... then maybe I'll better explain the situation."
This melee's winner is...
KING DEDEDE
NEXT TIME, ON SEASON 4 OF ONE MINUTE MELEE...
What do you get when you put together two robots with blue eyes? Surprisingly, there will be chaos.
And that's this episode of One-Minute Melee! How'd you guys like it? Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Also, if you have any suggestions for One-Minute Melees, please leave it in your reviews, PMs, or if you're on Deviantart and you've seen them on my profile, comment a One-Minute Melee you'd like to see! Maybe I'll put it in my next season! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!