Harry

"This is it then."

"Yeah."

"Hard to believe it, ain't it?"

"Yea… Bollocks! I forgot to pack my toothbrush. Do you think the house elves can go fetch it?

"Ronald Weasley! Don't you even dare put that on the elves. Like they aren't overworked enough as it is. You know, I had a talk with Head Mistress MacGonagall the other day about their compensation. She says they are getting everything they want, but still, that's not the same as the paychecks and standardized health care that they deserve and need. I mean…"

"You're kidding right?"

"Draco, no!"

"What?"

"Don't start to argue with her on this, please!"

"Harry. Stay out of this," with a determined look, Hermione turned her icy glare toward the lean blond standing next to Harry, looking every bit the aristocrat he was. "What is your opinion on the rights of House Elves, Draco?" she then asked in a deceptively sweet tone.

"They're natural servants. They are in the position they are, because they want to be," the blond replied in a voice that tolerated no arguments. Hermione, however, would have none of that. Soon, they were in a full blown argument in which neither one would budge nor compromise.

Harry looked at Ron and sighed. "This is it then," he repeated, starting anew the conversation that had started the whole mess.

"Yeah," Ron replied, looking around at the platform. "Our last ride on the train."

"Yeah. I can't really believe it, you know."

"Me neither mate, me neither."

"So, you and Greg are really moving in together then?"

"Yeah, we signed the lease by owl just yesterday. It's not much of an apartment, but it's a start."

"I'm sure it will be great mate, don't you worry. When will your acceptance letter from the Auror Academy arrive?"

"End of month," the red head suddenly looked nervous. "I really hope I'll get in. I have no other plan."

"Ron. You know it's just a formality. We all got offered jobs as Aurors last year. Nothing has changed. You'll get you letter. What about Greg?"

"He'll start looking at positions as an apprentice chef as soon as we've settled in. School's not really his thing, so we figured practical training would be better."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Harry turned his face away as he spoke. He did his best to accept Greg and Ron's relationship, but truth be told, he had a tough time getting any sort of handle on the big guy. Greg seldom spoke in anything else than grunts, and although he had been hanging out with them regularly since he and Ron made their relationship official, Harry felt he just didn't know the guy. He seemed to make Ron more confident and relaxed though, so that was good.

"What about you and Malfoy? Have you decided your living arrangements yet?"

"Nothing permanent. I'm moving in to Grimmauld Place; I just can't stomach moving into the Manor, you know? Draco has to go take care of his mother though. She's in a bad shape. So he'll go there, and then later maybe, we'll see…" Harry's voice drifted, as he really did not want to think about the subject. They had almost had a fight the other day, as Harry had wanted Draco to move in with him, but Draco had avoided giving him an answer for days and then when cornered, had told Harry he had to take care of his mother. It all felt like excuses to Harry. They had been interrupted before they had the chance to talk - or argue - it out though, and now there was an air of awkwardness between them.

Ron looked like he was going to push the issue, but Harry was saved as Millicent and Greg arrived with their trunks. Greg immediately went over to Ron and handed him a small package.

"My toothbrush!" Ron exclaimed in surprise. "How'd you know I forgot it?"

"Saw it," Greg replied with a shrug, as usual using no more words than strictly necessary. Harry could not help wondering what a discussion between the pair might be like.

Meanwhile, Millicent had walked over to Hermione and Draco. She stood listening to them for a while with an amused smile.

"Hoi, Harry!" she suddenly hollered, startling the arguing pair to silence. "Why'd you let these two start a circus show before I got here to watch too?" Grinning big she looked at the two fighters, who were now glaring at her instead. "So, are we getting on the train, or do you plan on continuing the show?" without waiting for an answer, she made her way up to the train.

Shooting a glare at Hermione that said he was not changing his opinion, Draco walked over to Harry. 'Mione glared back defiantly, before climbing on board the train.

"Where's Pansy and Blaise?" Harry asked Draco to get his thoughts on other things.

"Apparently they aren't 'nostalgic twits' as Pans put it and therefore opted to apparate from Hogsmead instead of taking the train," Draco replied with a smirk. "Are you coming?" he then continued before following the rest.

The six of them shared the same compartment, although Draco and Hermione carefully chose seats as far from each other as possibly.

The trip back to London was over far too fast for Harry taste. Soon they were standing on the platform 9 3/4 hugging each other goodbye. Hermione and Millicent were heading right for the next portkey to Australia, not wanting to miss any more time. Promising to keep in touch about their progress, they left the four guys standing awkwardly in a semicircle, looking at each other.

"Yeah, well… We should get going, wanna get settled in our new place before evening, yeah," Ron finally gruffed out, with a nod at Greg and then they were gone too, leaving only Harry and Draco standing there in silence. Without speaking, they walked beside each other through the station and up to where a carriage carrying the Malfoy insignia was waiting for Draco.

For a while they just stood there, looking at each other. Finally, Harry could not take it anymore, but spoke up.

"I could come with you. To the Manor."

"We talked about this. You aren't ready. You need to get strong on your own," Draco answered, but he would not meet Harry's eyes as he spoke. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Harry nodded and tried to speak.

"Yeah, I guess. It's just that… I'll miss you."

"Harry. We'll firecall every night, if you want to. And I'll visit as often as I can."

"How often will that be?"

"I can't say.. I'm head of the Malfoy family now. I need to go through a lot of paperwork to see where we stand and then try to get our name cleared again. Build a new reputation. I'll visit as often as I can though," he stepped closer to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder. "You know I love you, right?"

"I guess. It's just that…" Harry hated how petulant he sounded, but he just could not help it. He tried to believe Draco's words, but everything inside him was screaming that Draco really just wanted to get away from him.

"I know, Harry. I'm sorry, I really would like to move in together, I would. I just truly believe you should learn to live by your own first. I will be there for you. You can call me anytime, you know that. And I WILL visit. I just can't schedule it right now," he moved even closer so that he could draw Harry close in a tight hug as he continued to speak. "I never thought I'd want to be in a relationship with anyone. I never thought I'd love anyone in any other way than platonic love. You need to know that. You need to remember that. That even when we're apart and you feel like I'm abandoning you, I'm still with you. I've got no interest in anyone else. I love you, Harry Potter, and I promise you, one day we will live together and have a proper family." He paused before moving so that he could look Harry straight in the eyes. "And I always keep my promises," he added just before his lips met Harry's.

After Draco had left, Harry slowly made his way to the apparation point, pushing the trolley with his trunks slowly as he dragged his feet. He wanted to believe Draco's words, but it was hard. When Draco was there he acted like a barrier between Harry and his self doubt, but now Harry was all alone and could not help feeling like that was how it would always be.

No matter how slowly he walked, he soon reached the apparation point. Levitating the trunks from the trolley before returning it to where it could be found by the Muggle train station workers, he stood there for a moment. Drawing a deep breath and releasing it slowly he then resolutely took a hold of his trunks and apparated to the front of Grimmauld Place 12. His home.

Standing outside his home, Harry didn't leave himself any time to think. He was afraid that if he did, he would freeze completely and keep standing out there in the street for the foreseeable future. Not thinking about anything he levitated his trunks up the stairs, opened the door and put them inside. Drawing a deep breath, he stepped inside and let the door close behind him.

Harry had not been to Grimmauld place since the war ended, and apparently so had no one else. Thankfully the curtain covering the portrait of Mrs Black was covered, but that was the only thing to be thankful for. The air was dusty and stale and no trace of the sunny summer day made it inside.

He left his trunks there, just inside the door, as he himself made his way through his new home. The whole floor downstairs was the same - depressingly dark and with a thick layer of dust covering every surface there was. Harry briefly thought about going upstairs and check on the bedrooms, but that was where his strength just ended. In a haze he made it into the sitting room and slumped down on the moth eaten and dust-covered sofa.

This was it. His home. His friends were all scattered with the wind, and who knew when he would see Draco again. Who knew when he would see anyone again? He had no plans for his future. Everyone had kept asking him, demanding to know if he had applied for a school, gotten a job straight away or what his plans were. He had evaded them, answering elusively and giving the impression that he did, in fact, have a very sure and stable plan for his future. The truth, however, was a whole different story.

He had not filled in a single application for anything. Not for an education, not for a job. As the bloody Savior, he had received several job offers, but he had not been able to bring himself to accepting any of them, instead he had thrown them in the fire as soon as he got them. He had no plan. He did not even have a faint idea for a plan.

He had no clue whatsoever what he was going to do with himself now. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to be with Draco. And now Draco had gone to the Manor, expecting Harry to make it by himself. To make a life for himself. Only then, would they make a life together.

Harry felt the dark cloud of anxiety grip him. His throat tightened and it got harder and harder to breathe. A heavy pain settled in the pit of his stomach.

He could not do this. He just could not make it by himself! He had no idea what he should do. What he wanted to do.

He needed Draco.

He had been in such a bad place, before Draco. He had been about to shatter. Draco had stood beside him, as he had started to put together the pieces of his life. But he wasn't finished! The end of Hogwarts had come to soon. He had not figured it all out yet. He needed more time. More time with Draco close by, there to hold on to him when he started to fall.

He was breathing more and more heavily, short gasps for air that just seemed to increase the pain in his stomach and harden the constriction in his throat.

He could not do this. Why did everyone expect him to be able to do this? No one had ever thought him about making plans for his life. The Dursley's sure had not. He was a failure, they knew it, and he knew it. Why could not anyone else see it? He was not fit for this world! He had done the deed, killed Voldemort, and now he was finished. Done.

There was nothing for him left. He had used up all his skills, all he was good for.

The darkness seemed to increase around him, as if he was sucking even the faint light out of his surroundings. The dust from the air made him cough as his breathing got even worse.

He could not do this. He just could not.

He started to claw at his throat, feeling as if he was choking on his own tongue. Tears were flowing down his cheeks, but he was not even aware of crying. He just had to do something, to get air into his lungs again.

He needed Draco, but Draco was not here. He was alone.

Falling down on the floor, gasping for air and clawing gashes into his face, he tried to breathe.

Draco

Draco sat stiffly in the carriage as it drove him to the Manor. He could have apparated there, and usually he would have, but this time he just needed a little time for himself first. To relax had been the idea, but that seemed to be an impossible task. He should just have gone there straight away and gotten it over with.

He just did not want to see Mother. Or, to be exact, he wanted to, but he was afraid of what he would find. He wanted his mother as she was before, but the sporadic communications from Drigg, the House-elf in charge, had told him that Mother had slipped even further away from him. Deep in her delusions and constantly in a drugged state, there would be no reaching her. Still, he had to try.

He had told Harry he could not save anyone that did not want to be saved. That they had to want to be saved and save themselves. He firmly thought that to be the truth, but he still had to try to save Mother. She was all the family he had left. He just had to save her. He had to, no options allowed.

Which meant, getting better care for her. That would be step one. There was no Healers worth the name that wanted to take pity on a Malfoy though. Not even if paid more than they would make during their whole lifetime otherwise. That meant that it fell on Draco's shoulders to restore his family name. Either that, or find a Healer with as dark a past as themselves, and using one like that would only further tarnish the Malfoy name if they were found out. No, he had to find a way to reclaim what they had lost. He had to do it, if not for himself, then for Mother. Because whether she wanted it or not, he would save her. He just had to.

And then there was, of course, Harry. His heart had almost broken at the sight of Harry's face as he left him outside the station. He had wanted to run to him, take him in his arms and just take care of him. He could not though. He was going to the Manor, and Harry was not strong enough to face that. He had been through hell there, and so had his friends. Draco could not put it on his consciousness to take Harry there, as fragile as he was. Draco had thought about accompanying Harry to Grimmauld Place, but he knew that was only putting of going to the Manor himself. He had to go there now or risk never being able to face it.

Also, what he had told Harry was true. Harry needed to learn to trust himself again. He had gotten so lost after all the pressure, that he had lost the trust in his own abilities. He had to learn and see that he was capable. Draco would try and help show him that, if he only could find out how. Right now, he just hoped that going alone to Grimmauld Place and just starting to make it into a home would be a start. Draco would try his best to be able to drop by the next day and see how he had gotten started.

It was not like Harry had gone off to face Voldemort alone again. He had just gone to his new home. Draco had not been to the old Black residence since he was a small child, and his memories were faint. Quite dark and depressing, he would guess, but he knew that the Order had used it as it's base though, that had been relieved to him after the war. So he was sure that they had left it all cleaned up and pine fresh, a suitable palace for their beloved Savior.

Harry would be fine, he told himself repeatedly. If Harry was to learn to trust himself and his abilities again, Draco had to show him he trusted them as well.

Harry would be fine.

Mother would be fine.

The Malfoy name would be restored.

Draco would see to it. One way or the other. He had to. Failure just was not an option.