A/N: Written for my friend Marci, who told me that she wanted to see Russel with glasses. It got out of hand quickly. o.o I usually ship RoyxEd, but if Ed's with Russel, I like RoyxHavoc. Anyway, enjoy~!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FULL METAL ALCHEMIST. OR ANYTHING, REALLY. T-T

"Neh, tell me!!" Edward whined, standing on his toes to try to look his lover in the eyes.

"This is ridiculous..." Russel muttered, placing a hand on Ed's head and pushing him back down to his regular height. "It's nothing big, really."

"But you love me!" Ed argued, looking at him with puppy-dog eyes. Russel rolled his eyes, looking away; he never could resist that expression.

"Sometimes I wonder why." Russel replied, perhaps only half joking. The two had gone from enemies to acquaintances, then eventually friends. And then, like the Big Bang created the universe, Russel and ed became lovers.

"You're younger than me!" Ed suddenly reminded him, straightening his posture to seem taller, "So respect your elders!!"

"I'm taller than you, though," Russel added, "And I'm seme."

"For the last time!" Ed yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "You. Are. Uke." he stated, jabbing the younger boy in the chest with every word.

"Considering the fact that I'm also significantly stronger than you, I'd say that I'm seme, shorty."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE GETS CRUSHED BY A DUST MITE AND HAS TO BE PELLED OFF WITH TWEEZERS?!" As expected of the Full Metal Alchemist, a full blown tantrum was approaching. Ed, despite being the elder of the two, and the one with the greatest responsibilities and accomplishments, was practically a child as compared to his lover. Russel had learned early on in their relationship about Ed's sensitivity to his height, and greatly used this to his advantage.

"You," Russel stated, poking Ed in the sternum, "My little Chibitan."

Ed glared at the younger boy, face turning red from anger. A vein throbbed in his temple as he lifted his automail arm, clenching it into a fist. Swiftly, he punched Russel's shoulder.

Caught off guard, Russel fell backwards against the couch – they had taken refuge in Roy's office, seeing as Hawkeye was rampaging around the building with her gun brandished. His shoulder ached and throbbed.

How convenient...Ed thought, smirking at the younger boy.

"What the hell was that about?" Russel sputtered, glaring at Ed.

"Just showing you exactly who is dominant here..." Ed hissed, pushing Russel back onto the couch. Russel gulped as Ed crawled on top of him, face only centimeters from his. The younger boy lifted his head in an attempt to catch Ed's lips with his, but Ed dodged it quickly.

"Nah-uh," Ed chastised as if speaking to a child. "Not until you tell me."

"Fine, you want to know?" Russel groaned, digging in his pockets. "Close your eyes." he hissed. Ed rolled his eyes, moving into a sitting position in order to cover both eyes. Russel fidgeted for a moment, then huffed, "Okay, you can look."

Ed uncovered his eyes to see Russel's own blue-purple eyes staring back. However, they were now magnified by thin rimmed glasses, which reflected Ed's own image. Seeing that his jaw was hanging open, Ed closed his gaping mouth. He suddenly went back to all fours, one hand one either side of Russel's head. He leaned down, connecting their lips. Suddenly, Russel flipped them, now with the younger on top.

"Gotcha that time, Shorty."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Colonel Roy Mustang placed his hand on the doorknob of his office door, yawning widely. He had nothing to look forward to in his office – paperwork, as always – but it was better than standing around, being nagged by Hawkeye to, quote, get his "gay little ass over to the office and do the goddamn work that you're paid to do."

Roy muttered the line under his breath, blushing pink at the first part. Yes, somewhere along the line he and Havoc had discovered their mutual attraction – in the library, where Roy could never enter again – and were now dating. Or lovers. Or, hell, engaged. Any of them seemed to apply.

Roy was about to open the door when he heard what sounded like Ed and some other voice doing some things that fourteen year old boys need not do. Narrowing his eyes, he threw open the door, rolling his eyes at the scene before him.

"Full Metal..." Roy began casually, putting on his glove. The boy looked up at him, trying to escape from the grasp of the other blond boy. "What the hell are you doing on my couch?"

"Umm...it's not what you think!" Ed gasped, trying to push the taller boy off of him.

"Actually," Russel amended, scratching his head as he stumbled off the couch, "It pretty much is."

"Great..." Roy muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger, "You know, Ed, I'd stay away from that couch is I were you."

"Why's that?" Ed asked skeptically, scrambling to get off the aforementioned furniture.

"Well, Havoc and I have been in here a few times after hours..." he shrugged, trailing off. Ed, having gotten the "birds and the bees" talk – actually from Roy, but that's a story for another time –, inched away from the couch with a look of dread.

"I get it, I get it." Ed muttered, grabbing Russel's hand and dragging him from the room.

"And no unauthorized personnel in the building, Full Metal!!" Roy called after them, chuckling.

A/N: Anyway...so, like, review and stuff, m'kay? :3