Three Words: Emmett, Mike, and Prank
Note: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in my funny story, but I do own this idea. Enjoy!
Emmett and Jasper sat in the forest throwing rocks and stones at each other, with enough force to knock down a ten-story building. There game was getting boring, so they decided to have a little fun. Of course, it was Emmett's idea.
"This game is getting boring," he had said. Then he raised his eyebrows devilishly and grinned, and said,"Wanna have some fun?"
Jasper, seeing the look of glee on his brothers face, had no choice but to agree. "Of course."
They went back into the house, and used the phone that's only been used by Carlisle for his doctor problems. Emmett called up Mike Newton, and, using his perfected impression of Bella's voice, convinced the poor boy completely.
"Oh, Mike! Mike, it's horrible!" Emmett yelled, sounding unbelievably like Bella in despair.
"Bella? Bella, is that you? What's wrong?" Mike was on the other end, sounding worried, but was, in truth, extremely joyous that Bella had spared a moment on him, a moment she should be sharing with Edward, he thought, unless something happened, which makes her lonely and available!
Emmett and Jasper almost felt bad about what they were doing; but the key word here is almost.
"Mike! I was wrong! Edward, he - he. . . ," Emmett wailed.
"What is it, Bella?" Mike said, unable to cover his extreme satisfaction.
Emmett continued: "He's gone! I don't know where he went! Probably with someone much prettier and - and, oh, Mike, I should've chosen you over that selfish, pompous, abnoxious jerk!" It actually sounded like he -- she was sobbing.
"It's okay, it's okay," Mike comforted.
"So you'll forgive me?"
"Of course."
"No! Don't, yell at me. I can't have you forgive me that quickly, I can't take it. Yell at me."
"Umm, okay . . .," Mike said uncertainly. "Uh, I told you, I tried, but you went for that fool! I was here all along, and yet you threw me aside for yourself and cared nothing for me! How could you?! What kind of person would do that to someone who would take you in as a new student in an unfamiliar town and help you? What is wrong with you, Bella?"
Emmett wailed on the other end of the call, saying,"Oh, you're right! You're right! How could I have done such a thing? Mike, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry! I promise, I'll make it up to you, I swear."
"Okay, it's okay," Mike comforted gladly, anticipating what was to come. Jasper chuckled quietly at first, then uncontrollably.
"Oh, no, it's you!" Emmett said, having another idea.
"Bella? Who is it?"
"It's. . . It's Edward."
Mike said,"Hand him the phone; I have a few words to say to him."
Emmett handed the phone over to Jasper, looking as if he were about to explode with the laughter he held in. Jasper, having perfected Edward's voice, took over.
"What do you want, Newton?" he spat into the phone, with every ounce of animosity he could gather while trying not to bust a gut.
Mike was terrified for a moment, then though, He can't hurt me, I'm all the way over here. He can't get here so fast, he's human. Then, as an afterthought, Plus, I bet I could take him anyway.
"Umm," he sputtered," I have something to say to you, Cullen."
"Well, then, say it," Edward said.
"How could you be so cold? Bella needed you, and you just abandoned her?"
"She was getting old," he said. Mike could hear Bella sobbing in the back.
"How does your heart not break hearing her cry like that?"
Because I know it's Emmett and I can see him about to explode, Jasper thought. "Is this any of your concern, Newton? What happens between me and Bella stays between me and Bella, got that?"
Mike was about to answer yes, hearing the tone of Edward's voice, but instead overcame his fear. "No."
"What did you say to me?"
Mike hesitated. "I said no, Edward. Firstly, Bella has feelings, you should respect her feelings, not use her and then throw her away as if she were and old toy. Second, if you fail to do so, it makes her available for everyone to comfort her, and I believe I am capable of filling that position. Further, you don't love her. At least, it's not real love. Your kind of love is sick, and you should leave the poor girl alone."
Not able to contain it any longer, and after hearing the human's heartwarming speech, Emmett grabbed the phone from Jasper and hung up, then they both laughed so hard the whole house shook.
"Oh, boy," Jasper said, clutching his side.
The next day, Monday, Mike came up to Bella before lunch and asked her how she was doing.
"I'm doing better now, thanks," she answered smiling, thinking that Mike was asking about the cold she had the day before. As he saw Edward approaching, he gave him the most hating glare he could, which would be enough to almost, almost, scare away a baby rabbit, and Edward smirked, which made Mike angrier. He put his arm around Bella's shoulders, and hauled her away to lunch. Bella, not wanting to be rude, allowed him this one moment before she returned to Edward.
"Uh, Mike, are you okay?" she asked.
"I couldn't be better, Bella," he answered happily. He brought Bella to the table that she and Edward usually sat at together, and was about to sit in Edward's seat, but thought she'd be more comfortable with him next to her. Bella thought he was playing around, so she let him have his fun. He sat with one hand around her waist. When the other hand started to play with her hair, Bella started becoming uncomfortable. She shot Edward a strange look that said,"What the hell is he doing?" and Edward shrugged, amused but also kind of angry.
"I forgive you Bella. I do," he said. Bella knew he was talking about her being with Edward, but was still confused. At that moment, Mike turned Bella so that she faced him, and kissed her. After about two tenths of a second, Edward was there, glaring at Mike so hard that . . . well, let's just say that if looks could kill, the boy would be a pile of body parts beyond recognition, not meaning people would'nt know who it was, but they would not know what the pieces were.
Of course, Mike didn't notice, all absorbed in the moment he had Bella in his arms, but after a second or two, or twenty, he pulled away, grinning, then noticed Edward staring at him as if he were about to kill him, which he was close to doing. Bella stood up and put her hand on Edward's shoulder, outraged.
"Edward, I'll handle this," she said through clenched teeth.
"Are you sure? Because I think I'd like to slam him up against a wall and beat the --" he spat, but was interrupted.
"EDWARD, I'll handle this," Bella said. Mike was confused beyond comprehension.
"Bella, I thought --" he said, gesturing towards her and Edward, but was stopped by the way Bella looked at him.
"Mike, what the hell?!" she yelled. The whole lunchroom was looking at what was happening. All but Emmett and Jasper, pretending to be interested in a crack in the wall that was particularly big. Jasper thought it best to stay low.
"We should pretend to be interested in them so we seem inconspicuous," Emmett said.
"Ooh, inconspicuous, big word, Em," Jasper commented.
"Just look at them!" Emmett argued. Jasper put his hands up, palms facing Emmett, and turned around, seeming to look intrigued.
"Edward, you --" Mike continued, but was cut off once again.
"I what, Newton?" Edward spat. Then he heard the confusion in his mind, and heard the conversation that took place the night before with Mike, Bella, and himself, and was confused himself. Then he saw Emmett's face and suddenly understood.
"Bella, calm down, I understand. Sit down, love. Mike, I'm sorry, I know what's going on, sit down, I'll explain."
Mike thought it best not to sit next to Bella, so he sat down opposite her and Edward. Before Edward sat down, he shot Emmett a YOU-ARE-SO-DEAD look. Emmett cringed and turned around. Jasper locked eyes with Edward for a moment, and then regretted it, seeing Edward knew he was in on it too.
Edward explained the situation to Mike, who was so heart broken, they all apologized to each other, and life went on.
That night, Edward tought the boys a lesson. He played a few tricks of his own on Jasper and Emmett.
TO BE CONTINUED. . .