"She says you're a masochist for falling for me, So roll up your sleeves." ~ Masochist by Ingrid Michaelson
Clarke paces furiously around her room, unable to sleep. Yesterday was a nightmare. Lexa almost died and she was still upset. She keeps seeing flashes of that moment in her mind, every time she closes her eyes. That moment…Lexa lying on the ground with Roan standing over her. She thought for sure that was the end. She was certain of it; she would never see the Commander again. And in that moment she realized, no matter how much she claimed to hate Lexa or believe that she still did not forgive her, she would miss her. Clarke wasn't ready to let Lexa go, not yet, there was too much she needed to say to her. Hell, there was too much she wanted to do to her, she smirks to herself.
The blonde stops pacing, making up her mind. She needed to find the Commander, now.
A loud and persistent knocking pulls Lexa from her plans for the following day. She opens the door to see a very disheveled and serious looking Clarke standing there.
"Hello, Ambassador. I thought you had gone to sleep." The taller woman states with the raise of an eyebrow.
"I was…well I tried. I just…..I can't sleep." the blonde responds.
"Is there something you need? Anything I can do to help?" Lexa asks as she steps aside and motions for the smaller woman to enter.
Clarke doesn't respond and bites her lip as she steps inside, brushing past Lexa strategically as she enters. Her should rubs against the Commanders breasts and she swears she hears the older woman hiss slightly at the contact and she smirks.
She looks around the room; yes she's been here before, more than once. However, at the time she wasn't thinking of all the things she wanted to do to the taller woman on the glorious looking bed. Clarke feels her face start to heat up when she wonders how long she has been silently staring at Lexa's bed.
"What is it Clarke? What is troubling you? Are you mad at me?" if the Commander has noticed her odd behavior, she doesn't point it out.
"No, Lexa. Why would I be mad at you?" Clarke says startled out of her less than innocent thoughts.
"You…,"clears throat, "…you avoided me all day. I thought….after last night…." The other woman trails off.
"No, no. I'm not mad. I was just…I needed time to think." The skaikru Ambassador responds.
"Alright." Lexa nods.
"I….after yesterday…I just…I almost lost you Lexa. I was worried." Clarke whispers.
"No need to worry Clarke. If my battle was over, my spirit would have moved on." The Commander states matter-of-factly.
"I don't want your spirit to move on. I want it to stay where it is…I need it to stay where it is." Clarke says adamantly moving closer.
"Are you concerned for your people? I thought we went over this, Clarke. Aden will take care of them, protect them. You are part of the coalition now." The brunette reassures her.
"No...I mean, yes, of course I am concerned for my people, but I don't want Aden." The smaller woman steps closer.
"What is wrong with him?," the brunette sounding so much like an offended mother that Clarke almost laughs, "He is my most skilled nightblood. He is as good as I was at his age."
"Aden is fine, that's not the point. It's not that I don't want him to be Heda." The blonde woman sighs out.
"Clarke, do not be too hard on Aden. He will be a good Heda." Lexa says seriously.
"What I want Commander, a 12 year old boy cannot give me." Clarke husks out, trying a more direct approach to spell it out for the Commander.
"I was younger than him when I became Heda." The Commander states proudly.
"Age is not important….I was….." the blonde shakes her head furiously; this isn't coming out the way she had planned. How can Lexa not understand what she's getting at.
"I understand that you are…," the Commander tilts her head, looking for the right word, "comfortable with me as Heda, but there is no need to be afraid. My fight will be over one day and you will have to embrace a new Heda."
"That's not the point. God, why are you so morbid Lexa? Can we please stop talking about you dying?" the blonde groans.
"I was simply trying to reassure you. Your people will be safe. Aden will…" the brunette is cut off.
"Dammit Lexa! I don't want Aden. I want you!" Clarke gasps out and slaps her hand over her mouth.
Lexa swallows and blinks, she looks like a deer caught in the head lights. Like of all the things she was expecting, this wasn't one of them. She's afraid to move as if she might scare Clarke away. Clarke might laugh if she wasn't busy being mortified at herself.
"Clarke. I…I'm not sure…uhhhmm…what.."the taller woman stutters as Clarke stalks toward her.
Lexa nervously shifts and struggles to not step back from rapidly approaching blonde. Clarke would have stopped and commented on how adorable a nervous Lexa was, if she didn't have one thing on her mind and one thing only. Enough of this, she decides on a very direct approach, to leave no doubt in the Commanders mind.
"Shut up Lexa." Clarke growls as she grabs the brunette's wrist and pulls her flush against her before smashing their lips together.