Confessions: A True Story (Based on the song If You Knew by: Joel Faviere.)

By: Rachaelsouras

I flee into my room, tears stinging my cheeks. I can't take it any longer! I just can't keep living like this... I grab a piece of crumpled computer paper from my nightstand. Shaking hands spell out dark ink confessions.

Confessions... A secret word locked deep in our minds. Something only you can confess to.

These are mine.

1. Lying about my sleeves. Why do I only wear long sleeves? Oh god, Isn't it obvious? I murmur "I'm just cold." and they believe me. Little do they know I tug on the hem of my sleeve to hide the droplets of pain flowing out from my wrists.

But is it worth it? I throw my pen down and wipe away the searing tears. No, it's not worth it. Why should I let them get to me? Why do I let them get to me? If only they knew. Do you think their minds would change? I wish I wasn't so sensitive.

2. Pretending to be alright. All the things I do in my room to hide the pain. Faking a smile when I'm around people. I would leave my room if only bruises would heal. But the remarks they make, I feel so alone...

But I'm not! A home is no place to hide. Time to stop bleeding to stop the pain. Time to stick up for myself.

The Next Day At School.

"Sup faggot?" "Go die dyke." "I dare you to jump." "How much did you overdose last night?" "Watch out! Slut alert!" I press my fingertips and stop in the middle of my schools hall. "Aw! We upset the whore!" They laugh, a chorus of evil and sorrow. I rub my head. And stand up straight for once. Make it stop! I just want this to end! But then T remember my confessions. I can't wait for the day were I can confess this never hurt me. But why lie?

When it got to the point were there was police involvement, my mother was quick to enroll me to a new school. I remember crying tears of joy before my first day at Harding...

I stopped feeling sorry for myself, Ya, My past made me numb... But that doesn't mean I can't be happy again. And I am, this year has been great...

Fall 2015.

(This next part is based off of the song Close To The Edge by: Cameron Brown)

I sit crying in a cold bath, the water swirling with blood from my stinging legs. Why?! Sadly I forgot reality in the few months I was happy. Sadly any were you go there will be people thirsting for your sadness, people that will do anything to make you suffer. I am falling... But I always find strength to get back up.

3. I learned something important as the snow started to fall, leaves crumpling, and children turned pale. I had people that loved me. And I love them. I wrote a suicide note about a month ago. Sadly one of my friends found it. No, not sadly... Thankfully one of my friends found out about it. They saved me from being forgotten. Pulled me back to safety as I stepped off the edge. I was one of the few lucky ones.

I guess what I'm trying to say is there will always be people you love, and if that love is strong enough... They just might save you. But living involves yourself too. Don't cut, Your'e worth better. Don't give up, someone believes in you. And lastly, its okay to fight back. It's also okay to run in times of terrible situations, just know you will have to face them at some point, the sooner you do, the sooner you get back to feeling alright. I promise it gets better, just hang on... Never let go.

These are my confessions.