Author's Note: Just a teeny bit more crack fic. This one's for Aietradaea. It will only make sense if you've seen "The End Of Time".
Disclaimer: I don't own Dr Who. But if Stephen Moffat would like to offer me a job, his people can call my people and we'll do lunch!
UNTIL THE END OF TIME
"I don't believe you, spaceman!" the red-headed woman grumbled as she traipsed up the street, following in the wake of a tall, thin man in a brown pinstripe suit, red Converse sneakers and a long, tan-coloured coat. "I leave you alone for two hours – two hours! - and you only manage to go and lose the flippin' TARDIS!"
"It's not lost!" the Doctor retorted over his shoulder. "It's just...well, mislaid, really."
"Mislaid!" Donna said acidly. "You forgot where you parked it!"
He gave her an injured look from his big, brown puppy-dog eyes. "Oh. come on, Donna, be fair. I had a lot on my mind at the time."
"What? Not the fate of the Universe again?" she said, suddenly alarmed. "Why, what's gone wrong now?"
"Well, no, not exactly..." His voice trailed away sheepishly and he began to walk even faster, his long legs carrying him away from her so quickly that she was forced to trot to keep up.
"What then?"
He sighed deeply, before admitting in a defensive tone, "If you must know, I was trying to remember what colour the Oompa Loompas were in that movie 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'." Then, seeing the forbidding expression on her face, he hastened to add, "Fantastic film, haven't seen it in ages, details are a bit foggy, but really, one of the greats...Oompa Loompas and chocolate...what more could you ask for in entertainment?"
"So, just because you've got lost in some weird daydream about a bunch of imaginary short people with green hair and orange skins, I now have to walk all over London checking out every single police box we see?" Donna said, her tone escalating dangerously. "Well, that's just wizard!"
"That's it!" he whooped, giving her an excited bear hug. "That's what I couldn't remember! Green hair and orange skins! Did I ever tell you that you're brilliant, Donna Noble?"
Donna had to hide a smile. He was just such a big kid sometimes. "My feet are killing me," she reminded him, unwilling to let him think he was getting around her.
"Right, yes," he said in a chastened voice. "Well, we probably won't have to check out the whole of London. Just this immediate area. Can't be more than a dozen police boxes around here. Look there's one now!"
"A dozen!" Donna squawked. But he was already bounding ahead of her, his tan coat flaring out behind him as he eagerly rushed up to the blue police box standing on the corner. It appeared identical to the TARDIS in all respects. But, as Donna well knew, it wasn't the outside that counted, it was what was on the inside.
The Doctor pulled open the door abruptly and stuck his head inside, only to pull it back out again in an enormous rush. To Donna's amusement, his cheeks were scarlet with acute embarrassment.
"Right...OK...sorry...I didn't realise...sorry, really, really, sorry," he stuttered. "Well...um...carry on...carrying on, then."
And with that, he slammed the door hard and swiftly walked away, his hands jammed self-consciously in his pockets.
Donna hurried to catch up with him. "What was that all about?" she asked curiously. "What was in there?"
"You don't want to know, Donna," he said grimly, his jaw set. "And I mean that sincerely, you really don't want to know!"
Inside the police box, blonde eighteen-year-old Minnie the Menace cuddled closer to her new boyfriend, Dennis Hooper, relishing the thrill of the two of them being discovered naked in such an almost-public place.
"Who was that, then?" she asked, in what she hoped was a sultry voice.
"Dunno, some nosey parker," Dennis replied. "Couldn't see his face." Reaching out, he jiggled the door of the police box. "I tell ya what though, Min. I think the stupid bugger's only gone and accidently locked us in 'ere!"
"No way!" she breathed, excited rather than alarmed at the prospect.
"Blimey, I don't believe this!" Dennis groaned. "I mean, 'oo the hell gets locked inside a police telephone box?"
"I think the answer to that's pretty obvious, lover. We do!" Minnie laughed, pulling him back towards her and winding her arms around his neck. "Now shut up and kiss me again!"
And, suddenly forgetting all about the stranger and the locked door, their lips came together and the young couple became immersed in each other once more.
After all, when it came down to it, there were much worse ways they could be spending the August Bank Holiday, 1962.