Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters.
Note: I really hope I didn't make Ino sound too unlikeable because I actually like her a lot.
"But I don't understand why we can't just stay with Kankuro or Temari!" Ino whined as Team 10 followed the Sand escort to a local hotel. They had arrived a day sooner than Gaara had expected because the three had been guinea pigs for Chouza Akimichi's new (and apparently potent) stamina pills. Although Gaara had happily received them, the ambassador's quarters had no vacancy until the next day, when Team 10 was scheduled to arrive.
"Ino," Chouji warned her.
"If you really need to ask, then I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," mumbled the third member.
In Ino's defense, not many people outside of Suna knew that the Sand siblings adopted a mildly ascetic lifestyle since Gaara's inauguration. While Ino expected Temari's residence to be a spacious castle decked with gold floors and handsome, scantily-clad servant boys, it was actually a small studio apartment with minimal furniture and sparse decorations. In other words, it was nothing compared to the hotel where Team 10 would be staying. When Gaara became Kazekage, he recommended that Suna's nobility make sacrifices in order to regain the trust of the people, since his father's corrupt reign had left the village teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. Gaara knew that the money the government would save from ceasing to provide for the three siblings would be immaterial, but he thought it would help boost morale. And it did. One of the reasons the people were able to trust Gaara so quickly was that he recognized the importance of material wealth to the village, while he and his siblings lived relatively meager lifestyles. Temari had easily obliged, and Kankuro had complied, even if he grumbled about it for the first year. This, however, did not stop them from splurging when they were outside Suna.
After Team 10 arrived at the hotel and unpacked, Shikamaru decided take a walk and said something or other to Chouji about being lucky that they weren't sharing a room with Ino. Half an hour after Shikamaru left, Temari and Kankuro arrived at their suite, hoping to take the three of them to dinner.
"Taking a walk? That doesn't sound like him," Temari mused.
"I guess we should wait for him, huh?" Kankuro asked.
"NO!" Chouji spat, being mildly ashamed of betraying his best friend.
The four wound up at an elegant lounge that was famous for its grilled meats. Kankuro, Chouji, and Ino ordered lamb, while Temari ate her usual vegetable soup. Kankuro laughed at the sight of Chouji practically inhaling his food, "Heh, eat up, soldier, you won't find mean barbecue like this in Konoha." Ino wrinkled her nose at Chouji and glanced at Temari.
"Hey Temari, if you eat vegetable soup all the time, then why are you so f— I mean, why are you kind of big?"
"Because I'm muscular," Temari smirked and Chouji chuckled approvingly.
"Oh! Do you think Shikamaru left to check out girls?" Ino asked, "He likes f— um, big girls, right? And since we're in Suna and all..."
"That's interesting," Temari replied, "I was under the impression that all Konoha men liked emaciated twigs. But I doubt it. He practically reproduces by budding."
"Ew what?" Ino asked.
"Asexual. I'm not though," Kankuro winked at Ino, who unwittingly sported a feral grin at his implications.
*****
Temari returned to her apartment after escorting the two Leaf nin home, a little disappointed that their party consisted of one fewer member than she had expected. She stopped a few feet short of her front door and noticed a presence inside her studio. Her heart quickened a bit at the possibility that whom the intruder might be, but dismissed the idea because it was highly improbable and she had to play it safe either way. In a split second, she opened her door, identified the figure lying prone on her bed, and shot two pocketfuls of shuriken to pin the alien object to her bed.
"Dammit, woman, what's wrong with you?!"
"Oh, it's you," Temari tried her best to sound apathetic, "Stop crying, you didn't even get hurt."
"Just get these off of me, troublesome bitch."
"I thought a gentleman never enters a lady's bed unless invited," Temari smirked as she removed the shuriken from Shikamaru's clothes.
"I got sleepy waiting for you for so long, but your floor got too cold to sleep on. Even these aren't warm anymore," Shikamaru tossed a bag of chestnuts to her.
"Thanks, shall we play?" Temari motioned to a shougi set behind the bed.
*****
"Shikamaru, where were you all night?! Your hair looks like bird nest! See, Chouji, I called it first. And Temari thought he was asexual. But what does she know?"
"Ino, calm down."
"But why? Shikamaru's the one who can't keep his keep from dicking around while we're on a mission!"
"Because," Chouji said, embarrassed but determined to defend his best friend, "your neighbor complained that he couldn't sleep because Kankuro made you 'squeal like a pig' all night."