N/A: Hello! This fic is the first one I've written in english, so I really, really want to be told any grammatical error. I made this to improve my use of the language and what better way than to be criticized? Don't be afraid to point out any error! Keep it polite, though, I don't want any flames. It's my first Gruvia and FT fic too, so the characters might be a bit off. Duh.
Whatever, enjoy reading!
Summary: The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. With Gray it began with a glance, continued with chaos and ended... well, it didn't end.
Warnings: Possible OoCness, mild swearing and fluffiness. Lots of Gruvia fluffiness. Hints of Gale/Gajevy too, 'coz second fav.
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail and its characters are not mine. They belong to Hiro Mashima.
Journey
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
Lao- Tsé
1. Glancing
The first time he started to pay attention to her, actually paying attention, was in late summer.
Even if autumn had begun to creep in the weather, the air was still unbelievably hot and the sun shinned brightly up in the sky every day. Fairy Tail, though, was just as ever: happily making a ruckus out of everything and anything.
It would be on one of those warm days where everything began.
After coming back from a solo mission that took almost a week to complete, Gray sat through all the mess with a mug of beer between his hands in the guild's hall, not feeling like joining the merry party full of violence for once. In fact, he preferred to watch the spectacle that the Fire Dragon Slayer was putting up. This meaning that the pink haired boy was being beaten up by a very powerful, very angry and very strawberry cake starving Titania.
Gray chuckled silently. It felt good not to be in the receiving end of Erza's anger.
So he stayed there enjoying the taste of his drink. He would speak with whoever came to sit next to him in order to pass the afternoon, once in a while stripping down to his boxers and getting dressed as fast when he noticed the lack of clothes. Other times he would send a snarky comment to Natsu, who would reply back with a threat. He dismissed those ones as nothingness.
Sometimes, and only sometimes, he would send a glance at his right too; towards the direction where a water mage was engaged in a conversation with Cana. Well, in all fairness it looked more like Juvia was doing the talking and Cana the drinking.
It was weird, he mused as he took the last sip from his beer and throwing a discrete glance to the girls, that Juvia Lockser was still pining after him. After he rejected her back at the games and all that, he meant.
But Juvia was a bit crazy, so it wasn't that strange in her case. Perhaps.
Nevertheless, it didn't make him less uncomfortable.
It had been complicate enough when she wanted a romantic relationship with him when he didn't feel the same, now that she did know how he felt, and even then she wouldn't back off, was downright awkward. In his opinion at least, Juvia didn't appear bothered at all.
However, and there laid his main problem, he did not feel awkward with her. Not much, anyways.
It seemed more like that the freaking problem was rooted in the hopes Juvia held and all its implications. Or in other people's expectations, like Mira or Erza or Cana, or, and he couldn't be sure about this one but he swore that he had seen a warning glare from him, Gajeel.
What the hell they wanted, Gray didn't know. Yet, he knew that they shouldn't poke their noses where it wasn't required.
He sighed, asking for another pitcher.
Somewhere at his left side tables and chairs were blown up. By Natsu, he bet. Lucy's screech of indignation, or surprise, confirmed his guess. Meanwhile, his stripping habit kicked in and his shirt went to the floor. Again.
Another glance to his right.
Now both girls were giggling at some story the drunker one seemed to be telling. Gray frowned.
It wouldn't matter how much he pushed her away, would it? She would come back as many times as necessary, always, always, glowing, doing silly things to catch his attention and just being her crazy, incredible self. And he wouldn't be able to keep up with her, even humoring her without thinking.
Because—
And as if in a cue, she turned around until her gaze was on him.
Shit.
He cringed inwardly, expecting the inevitable embarrassing answer to his attention towards her which, he expected, was going to be about a high pitched "Gray-sama!", a ribs-broking hug —tackle— and eyes replaced with hearts.
He was wrong, though.
Against all his thoughts, Juvia just smiled in that way (half closed eyes with the tiniest of wrinkles around them, rosy cheeks and everything just beaming at him) and he could feel himself, shame upon shame, blushing slightly at the sight. As it had happened many times before to his great uneasiness. Gray stirred in his seat.
Not wishing for a second more of clumsy embarrassment the stripper shifted his sight to the drink at hand, not giving a second look to the water mage, with the smallest pinkish trace on his face.
Because there was something he couldn't quite pinpoint in her smile, or in his blush, or in anything between, and he wondered if he was just imagining things and becoming the crazy one now.
2. Knowing
Gray didn't want to talk about his... friendship with Juvia to anyone. He only allowed himself to think about it in the safety of his mind, where privacy was utmost, and even there he tried to avoid it as much as possible. It was too complicated of a topic, too personal. And so very embarrassing that every time the subject popped up in the back of his mind he would squirm.
But that didn't make him to spend less time in the company of Juvia. Which was a lot of time. Actually, in some short of way that the Ice-Make mage couldn't bring himself to completely understand, he was around her much more than usual. Or she was around him more than usual. The later was the likely option.
Not that he minded. Most of the time.
At first, it was mildly irksome that she would try to get closer to him with random conversations or offering handmade sweets —well, those weren't that troubling, they were quite tasty in fact.
In any case, he wasn't completely sure how to respond to her attention. She seemed as confident and as affectionate as she was even before his rejection. He, on the other hand, felt wary of her. As if the water mage was a bomb about to explode.
He did reject her feelings after all.
It was meant to be awkward.
Surprisingly, it wasn't.
Then, he loosened a bit.
The first few days he started to answer the questions Juvia threw, allowing her to do the rest of the chatting and he would listen half-heartedly. In a couple of weeks, he discovered himself adding some thoughts to her constant musings, taking an active part in their chats.
When autumn came around and the trees were dyed with warm colors, both of them took part in the conversations equally, talking about anything they believed fitting.
They spoke about missions, how some of them were so disgusting to work on but necessary because of their high rewards and some other were so enjoyable because of the people they met in the way. They spoke about how they spent their free time, hobbies and such. He discovered that she liked sewing and tried to improve her cooking. They spoke about old anecdotes that would bring laughter. He liked to tell about the adventures he had lived with their guild mates while she liked to tell about how she had made a friend out of Gajeel.
They spoke about the past once or twice, too.
Tentatively, he would tell her about the time he spent with Lyon and Ur and what he remembered about his parents, and she would tell him about the times she was left alone because of the constant rain and the no so very friendly atmosphere within Phantom Lord.
Those occurrences were rare, though. Neither Gray nor Juvia liked to talk about that, so they kept it at minimum.
Furthermore, he found out that Juvia listened very attentively. She hung onto every word he formed with rapt attention, not distracting even once. He could trust that she would never brush off whatever he said.
It made him comfortable and cautious altogether.
But there were downhills as well.
At times, when they discussed about the future or dreams, her cheeks would become a certain reddish color and she would make a comment in such a way that rang more than the occasional outburst she had. He didn't know how to handle that.
The emotional outburst? He could manage it with an acquired proficiency. It was as easy as to tell her to calm down with a stern voice, that she was making an embarrassing scene in public, and she, sometimes, would regain her composure continuing with the subject at hand.
The shy display of tenderness? Those, he wasn't prepared for.
Which ended with him sifting and blushing, while she was sifting and blushing too. What was he supposed to say or do against that? In the end, he decided, the best response to that was just to forget it and change the discussion in a different direction. Far away from the original topic. From the shifting and the blushing.
The prying eyes set on them when they were chatting didn't help with the discomfort.
Their friends didn't try to be subtle either; it was easy to catch knowing smirks directed to the two mages, mostly him, all around the hall. It made him frown in annoyance and disconcert. They shouldn't mock where they weren't called.
Luckily, no one brought the... closeness the water mage and ice mage were sharing up. Not like there was anything to gossip about. Friendly activities were nothing unusual.
It was just that Gray thought that it was no one's damn business the relationship Juvia and he shared, as dysfunctional as it could get.
Unluckily, Lyon didn't agree with him.
-x-
Each passing day the sky turned more like Gray's namesake, temperature dropping slightly and winter coming slowly, taking over autumn. It would be one of these days where the two seasons clashed when Lamia Scale and Fairy Tail worked together. When some unknown dark mages unwisely chose to go against the two guilds.
In response, their respective masters picked a member each one, handing them the mission to settle things downs. The two Ice-Make mages were the selected ones for the mission.
It ended up being a fairly easy mission. Their opponents, even if capable and numerous, weren't as strong as them; in less than an hour everything was said and done. Hence the reason that the two of them were walking aimlessly around the little town. The train to go back wouldn't be until an hour or so.
They exchanged polite talk, made snide comments about each other and did anything that helped to pass the time. At some point Gray lost his jacket.
The tiny shop they sighted in the distance was painted in purples, blues and whites, cramped to the ceiling with objects of all kind and smelling like spring and rainy days and something the younger of the two identified as cinnamon. It reminded him of Juvia somehow. Maybe that was the motivation for Lyon to head there.
Lyon decided to enter. Gray followed suit.
"What" the black haired man started, looking around in boredom, "are we doing here?"
There was a courteous nod to the woman behind the desk before the other one answered.
"Next week is Juvia's birthday," his companion said as matter of fact.
Gray raised an eyebrow. "Yes. And...?"
"To buy her a present, you dimwit."
"You don't need to be an asshole to say so."
There was a familiar silence for a few second while both boys rummaged through the shop's items.
"You should too, you know."
"What?"
"Buy her a present."
Gray scoffed.
Of course he was going to. She was a close friend after all. Besides, he didn't want to face the wrath of some girls (namely Erza, Cana and some others) if he ever appeared with bared hands and, God forbid, made Juvia cry. That would end up as the last day of his life and he wasn't prepared to die yet.
But he was not purchasing it at the moment, where Lyon was watching him.
"She gave you a present for your birthday. It would be the courteous thing to do the same," the Lamia Scale member stressed.
A knitted scarf. With white little snowflakes printed all over it. That was his present from her. It was a dark-blue shade of color and obviously handmade, if the occasional mismatched stitch was anything to go by. He only could imagine how much time was spent in the scarf.
Although he didn't need any kind of clothes to get warm, Gray kept it in a drawer at his home.
Anyways, the ongoing conversation was starting to irritate him. If he did or did not get a present for the water mage was not the older one's goddam concern. Nor anyone's. It would be better if they just got over and done with it.
"Mind your own business."
The silence afterwards was tense. The black haired man sneered before turning his attention to a row of multicolored fabrics. Maybe he could get one of those at Magnolia. Juvia said a week ago something about wanting to try out som—
"I don't understand you."
That was blunt. And randomly strange. Gray stopped looking around the objects in display to focus in the white haired man. Slowly, frowning, he asked.
"What do you mean?"
Lyon gave him a look of disbelieve, like something hit him in the face too suddenly to notice. He recovered quickly from his daze and after tsking once, he started to speak with a dragging, impatient pitch and scowl adorning his face.
"Juvia is always chasing you. Showing you what everyone has seen since long ago..."
No. No, no, no. Gray panicked. He knew where that was heading to. The talk with Erza back in the games started the same fucking way! And Gray didn't want to hear the same reprimand again. Never.
"Shut up."
"...and yet, you play the fool. Not caring about her feelings at all, sometimes playing along and other times denying everything! Like now!"
"Shut. Up."
"Hell, she said it herself back in the games. You should know by now that that girl is—!"
"I said. Shut. Up."
It had to be the harsh, definite way he said it, because it did the trick. Or maybe it was the little, almost imperceptible, anxiety in his voice.
The point was that Lyon did stop this time, closing his mouth in a fine line, while Gray ragged his hand through his hair.
He already knew without Erza or Lyon saying it so. It was a damn obvious thing not to notice when she looked at him with the big, expressive eyes she had full of admiration, when she said his name with an undercurrent of happiness or when she wanted to be with him day in and day out. When she practically screamed her feelings to the world. He knew all of it. It was impossible to dismiss everything and not perceive the transparent, clear fact.
But it didn't make any easier to admit that Juvia Lockser was irrevocably in love with Gray Fullbuster.
He knew that his little acts of aloofness weren't the best approach too. Always brushing off her sentiments wouldn't make a difference but for the worse. Time to time humoring her, giving her hopes, wouldn't as well. Even knowing that, knowing all that, he did nothing to fix all the mess. If he just said to her "no" in such a way that would hit home...
However, he could not. Not anymore. Because— because there was something—
"What are you going to do then?" Lyon drawled, fixated on him with a hint of annoyance in his tone.
He wished he knew that.
3. Confronting
Juvia was becoming bolder, he noticed.
Of course, she had always been.
She had never been the private type when it came to show emotions. You always could tell what was she thinking just by looking at her face or know what she wanted in the moment. The water mage was a woman who wore her heart on her sleeves.
When she first had joined Fairy Tail was when her audacity was at its peak. An audacity that almost bordered with obsession. The constant stalkerish tendencies; the spontaneous, unwanted touches; the jealousy toward other girls that was almost aggressive... Yeah, Gray admitted that, even if she was a guild mate and a friend, it used to freak the hell out of him.
Months had passed since she became a full member of their guild. The once burst of flames transformed into a dimmer but steadier fire after spending time around him and her new friends. It relaxed him when she changed to a less overwhelming degree of attraction, although she still had some worrying habits. At first, till it drowned to him what it really meant. It was then that he panicked and his mind went in the 'I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-I'm-doing' mode, leaving him alone with all the crap going on which would lead to a such a confused state that...
Whatever.
The message between lines was that, recently, Juvia acted more like she was in the past. More abundant in her commentaries, more evident at showing her emotions, more prone to touch him. A significant difference could be found when compared to the past, though.
She was more... more...
More subtle.
Yes, that was the word.
So subtle in fact that it had taken him a whole two weeks since the argument with Lyon to see the changes. He also may have overlooked Juvia's advances conveniently, wishing not to look at the growing friendship-relationship-thingy between the two of them more than he already did.
When Gray had returned from the mission accomplished alongside Lamia Scale he acted a little bit cranky the first few days. The discussion with Ur's other student had brought up issues tied with the infamous water mage that he desired had stayed in the back of his mind.
He was so confused, and the additional weight of not knowing what to do didn't help at all.
Anyhow, he didn't let it to drive his life. He behaved as always, went in mission with his team and tried to act nonchalantly.
Nevertheless, when Natsu was destroying something and Lucy calming him, when Erza disappeared to somewhere and Happy tried to gain a date from Carla, he would sit alone in a table and mull over the ordeal. Juvia would be there too, as was the common nowadays, light conversation between the two.
On one of those days Juvia bumped her shoulder with his while offering some cookies that smelled heavenly. She didn't retreat when ended doing her culinary deed of the day and their shoulder remained rubbing the rest of the afternoon. Which was somewhat strange as Juvia didn't come physically so close since some months now.
It would turn out to be the first incident of many.
The action repeated itself several times since, occasionally with a comment that made him blush fiercely. The water mage had started to sit next to him way closer than she used to, to touch him in the most feathery ways. Sometimes he even thought that his imagination was making everything up.
But the moments began to be excessively constants to be just accidents. So he watched closely, measuring her every movement.
His doubts where cleared in the middle of winter, when they, plus Natsu and Lucy, were sitting in their now daily table of the guild. Both boys were throwing jeers at each other while the girls seemed to be chatting about boring girlish things.
Then, he felt it.
Juvia made her fingertips touch his slightly. Too casually to be unnatural, but too consciously to be unintentional.
His whole body steeled. Glancing towards the girl he discovered she seemed totally ignorant. But theirs hand were there, on the table, an inch apart of each other and the tiniest contact between, which was not by chance. He was sure.
"Something happens, Ice Princess?" Natsu spoke through his ponders.
Gray blinked owlishly for a moment before gathering his thoughts again. He stirred, not knowing if to withdraw his hand or not.
"Nothing," Gray answered with a restrained voice. "Nothing."
From that point on his mind multitasked between keeping up with Natsu and retreating his hand from the table inconspicuously. The stripper eyed the blue haired girl cautiously from his peripheral vision, remarking how the only reaction she showed was the brief glance she threw to him.
-x-
He was going to go mad.
The light brushes continued incessantly even though he started to not to reciprocate them willingly. He knew that she knew that he considered her attempts to physical approach irritating at least. Even so, Juvia kept on with her little innuendos, shrugging off any evidence from him that indicated she should come to a halt.
In short, she just wouldn't quit.
Which drove him crazy since any normal person would have stopped long ago this unbelievable act. Hell, anyone would have given up loving him long, long ago. Yet, Juvia was far from normality. She continued with her crush on him intact, with her abnormal tries to gain his affection and with her tender smiles.
His mind couldn't bring itself to wrap that notion once for all, like there was some kind of barrier on the way impeding him to come around it. But it was crystal clear and there. Juvia would continue loving and loving and loving...
Maybe, Gray wondered, the reason behind all that denial was just old plain fear. Fear to face whatever consequence it could mean if he admitted everything, fear to acknowledge what her smiles implied. It was impossible, though, because it seemed such a pathetic thing not to meet the truth eye to eye thanks to some foolish fear. He couldn't be like that. He wasn't. He hoped.
However, what worried him more was the fact that a tiny part of him felt glad that she didn't surrender.
The same tiny part that reminded him of Juvia's love in a daily basis, that got him blushing or stuttering when she made one of her fond acts, that even when a thought of confronting her love-sickness for good occurred it would come in a full blown to destroy the idea. The same tiny part that liked some of her smooth touches and needed a reminder to get him working when she smiled. He despised that bit of himself.
Because it was the same piece of his mind holding that something he was unable to identify.
It frustrated Gray endlessly, as if he had some kind of split personality problem that wouldn't come to a truce with his thoughts about Juvia.
He sighed. She messed him up in such a ways when he prided in keeping his head cool —no pun intended. Stupidly powerful enemies, the direst situations or events that went beyond reality. Bring them all on; he would face those with the calmness he was known for. Mix a water mage and her feelings and his common sense was gone for good.
Unsurprisingly, he met his boiling point soon enough.
It would be one month before spring when everything concluded in an explosion.
"Can you stop it?!" The Ice-Make mage hissed more than said.
Some of the guild members scrambled in tables around them peered briefly before focusing in their previous matters after one of Gray's unfriendly scold. Ur's student made sure that no one was peeking at them when he concentrated at the problem in front of him. He preferred to keep everything private.
She seemed taken aback. Her eyes were wide, mouth slightly ajar from his outburst, questioning at him wordlessly. All in all, she looked like the personification of innocence. He frowned knowing that she was everything but that. The proof resided in their touching arms.
"Stop what?" The blue haired girl asked naively, titling her head. His eyebrow twisted. Trying to keep a straight face, Gray clenched his hands.
"This", he said pointing at their arms. "Your little acts, your craziness over me. All of it. Stop it!"
He winced slightly, the last part came out harsher than intended. However, he kept staring at her intently, wishing that the point would drown. That all his doubts would disappear and the entire storm in him would calm down.
Juvia blinked slowly, her astonished expression becoming one of neutrality. Her big eyes locked with his and her mouth, which had transformed into a thin line after his word, opened to say that she wouldn't bother him anymore...
"No."
The black haired mage froze on the spot. Juvia said no. To him. The end was near. The end of his sanity, that is. He gripped the corner of the table to steady his body from jerking violently while his mind rushed finding all the possibilities on how to understand the negation, attempting hopelessly not to panic. Because it couldn't be that simple. It just couldn't, okay?
The almost inappreciable snickers made him snap. Turning his head at alarming speed, the mage glowered at the people close enough to overhear their conversation who, to his greater annoyance, weren't even trying to hide their amusement. Growling, he wanted to show them how ice could actually burn when the thought was thrown out of the window as the girl sitting next to him placed her hand over his.
A compressive little smile played in her lips before talking. "If Gray-sama wants Juvia to cease her, uhm, advances, she will," the water mage retreated the hand to her lap. Gray was unable to relax, though; there was more to come. He guessed correctly.
"Juvia only wishes Gray-sama's happiness," she said with the tiniest and sincerest voice. "But, even if he desires to, Juvia'll never stop loving Gray-sama."
His breath hitched in his throat for a second because of something impossible to describe.
There. A game changer. She had confessed before, thousands of times in fact, although never that way. She had blushed a deep red and shifted under his gaze, acting all shy, saying the word in a soft whisper. It seemed enough of a difference from the shameless acts from the past to get him in overload.
What was he supposed to do now? How would he answer to the declaration? He already rejected her once, he should be able to do it again! But no, that stupid side of him screamed in his head not to— wait, why the fuck was she looking at him with the expression of a kicked puppy?
So his mouth worked with the only unalterable fact that his mind could muster at the moment.
"Mavis, you're such a weird woman."
And she was. Back in the games her confession had resembled more one of a fangirl, and now she blurted all that in that tone with that face and he was, once again, lost. Finally when he had a chance to settle things down, she did the most heartfelt action and drove him into the opposite direction where he intended to go. Incapacitating him from denying her anything, from ending the chaos in him.
A really weird woman indeed.
The Ice-Make mage rubbed his temple in an effort to gather his disorganized thoughts. Well, if he couldn't go against her or her maddening feelings, he would go along with them. Gray took a long breath, resigned to his unavoidable destiny and what he knew would come because of the words he was going to say.
He counted until three, closing his eyes tightly. The stripper was going to regret it so much. Still, he spoke: "Do whatever you want."
Juvia blinked, once, twice, before squealing with the widest smile in her face and launched herself at him, leaving the male mage breathless from the impulse.
"Juvia, get off, dammit!"
4. Accepting
He found out that he didn't regret it the slightest.
Gray would come to that conclusion much later, when the last week of the cold season arrived.
Yes, the water woman took every ounce of opportunity to cling onto him. But in the past she had done that as well, even more blatantly than nowadays. Besides, Juvia tried not to be so public with her affections. More or less. There would be instants that she would lose all the composure and do something crazy; although, overall, the subtlety acquired through previous months was paying off.
It was just that now she had permission to do all these things.
His permission. Short of.
Apparently, it changed everything.
The atmosphere when they were together felt different. The persistent awkwardness that followed them anywhere still hung in the air, as did the embarrassment for him. But there were little shifts between the two mages that made the difference. Maybe it was because Juvia didn't try as hard to be with him, letting it be more natural, or because he gave up fighting against her closeness and just flow with it. Or a mix of both.
Whatever the case, he started to relax around her. Once upon a time their interactions could be labeled as somewhat strained, where she would do the wildest actions and he would brush off her advances, everything seeming to be stagnant at some random point impossible to define. Then, time passed, their friendship evolving around it, and now...
Gray was liking her company more and more.
Sure, he had enjoyed her presence before, she was amusing to have around when she had kept her fangirl tendencies for herself; however, lately, shit got serious. Serious as if he had started to seek her whenever he felt bored or not in the mood to hang out with the pinkish dragon slayer or the others, when it had always been the other way around, Juvia searching him in their free time.
And he didn't fucking know why that happened.
Scratch that, he did know the reason —spending time with her was refreshing. The problem laid in what significance it held. It wasn't as being with Natsu or Lucy or Erza or any other guild member, probably because no other guild member was in love with him and the feelings of Juvia processed to him were so obvious that it was almost painful. Nonetheless, just a few months ago the situation was obvious as well, and back then he hadn't acted like a paranoid. Certainly, he hadn't looked for Juvia's company as much as he was doing nowadays.
So there was only one option left as the actual answer: the change went beyond the interaction between them. It nestled in her, in him and this friendship-relationship-thingy that Gray was still incapable to comprehend. It shook the very core of what it had been and transformed everything in such a gradual way that before he even knew, he was facing it. And the worst of all was that the Ice-Make mage didn't feel the least uncomfortable with the alteration, more like a part of him —the part of him that liked to annoy him with anything related to the water mage— expected all of it.
The lack of uncomfortably that should have been there, plus the fact that he, somehow, actually predicted the occurrence, scared Gray to a point that almost transformed into panic.
Gray wished he could escape the mess he fell into with the recent developments, forget about what it brought and meant. He wished not to speak with the blue haired girl for a while until he organized his composure that had been scattered all over his mind for a long period now. He surely didn't want to face what he knew was brewing between the two of them and, most importantly, in him. It would mean accepting things; very important, very troublesome things that should not be there.
But the same side of his mind that bothered him countless times held him back when those ideas appeared. It didn't matter how much he wanted to go back in time and just have the uncomplicated way of life he once had, the stripper would go to Juvia every time he could regardless of his contradicting thoughts. Because, if he was completely honest with himself, he kinda liked the new path that their friendship had gotten into. Even with the emotional torment it brought.
It felt right to be with her that way.
Stupidly right.
As it was happening at the moment.
"That's pretty amazing" he said slightly amused, drinking from his beer.
The girl was about expressions and gesticulations when telling stories. She waved her hands constantly and the blue hair bounced on her shoulders from her non-stop movements while she told him about her recent mission with Lissana. Something about thugs, hideouts and kick-ass action. The spectacle turned out to be rather fascinating for Gray as she excitedly smile for the nth time. And, dammit, he could admit that it was a quite cute sight to behold.
Anyway, the ice mage threw the comment offhandedly when she mentioned a brawl with one of the thugs, trying unsuccessfully to distract himself, or stop her, from her little hopping in the chair. It made other parts of Juvia to bounce too, and it became hard to avert his eyes from there. The tactic worked, thank God, freezing her on the spot for a moment until her eyes shinned with something he had come to recognize easily.
"Gray-sama praised Juvia—!" She squealed, placing her hands on each side of her excited face.
Gray heaved a sigh, letting his crazy companion to her incoherent mumblings about whatever fantasy she came up with. Even if Juvia had knocked down her enthusiastic ways some levels, she would have a slip every once in a while. Not that he minded much anymore, he took them as a perpetual habit. Like his stripping; something annoying, but you could learn to live with it.
The male mage raised an eyebrow when the woman stopped babbling for a second. "You done?"
Her daydreaming gaze focused for a second on him. "Ah?" she seemed lost at first, when a moment later it came to her what reality and was she answered. "Juvia's sorry! She didn't mean t—"
"S'okay" the Ice-Make mage assured her. It kind of was okay after all. "So, what were you saying about the boss?"
"Ah, yes. Juvia was going to fa—"
"Water woman!" Someone interrupted her again. "I need you now!"
Gajeel was approaching them with a grumpy face and the looks of a person that would behead anyone daring enough to cross his way. And he was... blushing...? What? Gajeel blushing? Gray squinted trying to discern if his mind was playing tricks with the light.
Nope. It was a natural red what was in his cheeks.
Well, that should be amusing.
The stripper was ready to make a snide joke about his colored state to the Iron Dragon Slayer —because he so rudely interrupted a nice chat, the bastard— when the other rambunctious male dragon slayer decided to butt in and take his fun away, throwing a burning chair to the intimidating blushing man's head instead of to whoever he was fighting with. The idiot. Then, a massacre of epic proportions started. In Fairy Tail's terms it translated to another common fight between guild mates.
All in all, Gray calculated that Juvia and him would have a plus of ten minutes in their conversation. So he let the jackasses to their wrestling in the background and decided to roll with the situation, resuming the topic about the ex-Phantom Lord's member condition of red.
"What was that about?" He asked, snapping Juvia out of her tender smile directed to the guys who were punching each other senseless.
"Nothing" her voice was an octave higher than usual."Gajeel asked Juvia for help with some matters." And she was playing with the hem of her dress.
Obviously, she was hiding something. Gray pressed.
"Nothing?"
"It's just... something personal."
"Personal." That sounded like something embarrassing. Now he really wanted to know. "How personal?"
"Juvia shouldn't tell."
"C'mon." He only needed to push the water mage a bit more. He gave her his most charming smile. "I won't tell a soul."
And done. Juvia flushed slightly, shifted in her seat for a moment of doubt and proceed to speak between whispers. He smirked triumphantly while learning toward her to hear better.
She told him the 'personal thing'. He thought he caught it wrong at first. He asked her to repeat it. She did. He hadn't heard wrong.
The mage started to laugh his ass off.
"Gray-sama, it isn't funny," she said lowering her eyebrows and pouting. He would have thought it a little endearing if not because of the laughter that had begun to hurt his sides.
"It is!" The ice mage almost screamed. "Big, scary Gajeel asks his love obsessed best-friend tips on how to woo little Levy because he doesn't know how to." He took a deep breath to calm down and added before he initiated another round of snickers. "Hilarious."
"Gray-sama shouldn't be rude to Gajeel" her scold didn't have much of an effect if she said that while biting her lower-lip to avoid smiling. "And your clothes..."
Seeing that she was trailing off in her commentary, he looked down to see his clothes had disappeared. "Aw, shit."
After a minute or so trying to find the darn pieces of clothing Gray put them back on, sighing in defeat. A chair crashed against the wall behind them. Watching the Iron Slayer attempting to put an end to the Fire Dragon Salyer's life, one wouldn't imagine that the former was planning on full-out courting, or whatever the guy thought to do, the book lover. He chuckled at the image that formed in his mind.
The water mage, on the other hand, was still pouting with a very restrained smile creeping in her lips. She mumbled with her head down, her daily tea between hands.
"Juvia thinks Gajeel-kun is being sweet."
Gray grinned mockingly. "You're gonna help him then."
She raised her head so harshly in response that for a moment the male mage thought that she had been offended somewhat. But there was a glint of conviction in her eyes, driving his suspicions of her anger to a stand, saying that yes, she was helping her dear friend with his love-life and no one was stopping her. And that she would succeed with it as well.
He felt a bit mesmerized by her pose, her expression and her confidence for a brief moment, breath pausing for the longest second, before her face changed to the usual cheery smile she wore, bobbling her head up and down in an enthusiastic nod.
"Juvia wants to see Gajeel-kun happy" she said heartily. After an instant of silence she added as an afterthought. "And Levy-san too."
The Ice-Make mage smiled fondly while taking another sip from his beer. That was so... Juvia. The crazy woman wouldn't think twice before giving everything she had for others, more so if it concerned romance. Not that it wasn't common to see that trait in Fairy Tail, it just came as more highlighted with Juvia. For him, at least.
Sometimes it turned out as strange to remember the gloomy girl of the past, so dull and sad, when in the present she did everything with such a passion. Always trying to achieve her best and help people around, even if she could be overzealous with any girl that spoke to him. It struck as if she was one of the liveliest person he had ever met. She probably was.
The stripper sighed comfortably, laying his beer down and casting a quick inspection to the battle going on. A couple of minutes to go.
She observed the fighting once again, completely content, head lowering to her arms which worked as pillows. Juvia seemed happy there, watching her friends destroying each other and pondering ways to bring the impossible match together. She seemed in her element of rejoice, so bright and thrilled, not shadow of her past gloominess in sight.
He wondered briefly if there was anything she wished for, to be more beaming than she already was. It had never occurred to him that that crazy remarkable woman could have dreams of her own that she wanted above everything else. Gray wondered what those would be, although the mage could guess what ambition she had.
He just— He just hoped for her.
He wanted to know because he wanted to make her happy too, as she was going to try and already tried with everyone she had met. All the more as she put a special effort in him above all, because of love or because it was in her nature. So he wished to give her back at least the tiniest bit of her attempts.
It was a weird emotion, to long for returning some of her unconditional attentions, just to bring her joy instead of the other way around.
He felt somewhat bound to do so. That's why Gray asked.
"What 'bout your happiness?"
And Juvia looked baffled by the sudden question. She lifted her head up, titling it to the side, as she blinked slowly. The water mage frowned, first in confusion and then in thought, rolling her tongue once in meditation. The other occupant of the table didn't even avert his eyes from her while the ordeal came to a conclusion.
"Hmm," she hummed, resting her head in the table again. "Juvia's already happy in Fairy Tail."
Her voice was soft and face seemed in peace while she said it. He believed her, he believed when she said that her home and her family was enough to bring her the greatest happiness she could ask for. Gray didn't doubt about her choice of joy when he had the same.
But then, she opened her big eyes and looked straight at him, smiling in that way that made his heart skip a beat. Everything went still for a maddening second before she spoke.
"Although, regarding Gray-sama, she's waiting for it."
It was short, sweet and had Juvia written all over it. He didn't know why he hadn't expected it.
The statement rang between them, loud and clear to anyone to hear, and yet, only the two of them took note. It did wild things to him, turning and twisting his very center with all the implications and hiding meanings behind it. Those words meant dreams and illusions, of possible futures that she imagined in a daily basis; it gave away her weakness. It made him go crazy.
Gray inhaled, his hands sweating and his face growing hot, processing what was said. He should be used to that sort of spontaneous confessions by then, and he somewhat was as long as her confessions were the ones made in the heat of the moment, where they seemed shallow and false. If they were anything like the one told now, though, he lost himself between her fond tone and warm eyes. Sadly, the later had commenced to be the predominant case lately.
When he was able to open his mouth to say something, anything, the booming voice of Gajeel cut through the air, harrying the blue haired girl to accompany him.
She hurried up as told, smiling lightly and saying her goodbyes. "Bye, Gray-sama."
Then, she was gone, unsaid words left hanging.
The Ice-Make mage took a deep breath, a futile attempt to try to calm his wrecking nerves, while his mind ragged with all the significance. He had always known what she desired, it was just never confirmed. But now that it was, he couldn't put a blind eye and left everything as it was.
Now it was a matter of time before he conceded to her.
He would give in and he wouldn't do it because he felt obliged. Gray would do it because it felt right and he wanted and...
And it meant a lot of things that had stayed in the dark, behind a curtain of uncertainty, would surface once for all.
Perhaps they meant that their strange relationship wasn't destined to stay the same, or that he wasn't the same as he was back in the games, or that she wasn't the same as she was back in the games. It could mean all that and more.
Perhaps...
Perhaps it was high time to admit that he liked more of her than her sole company.
5. Changing
The idea appeared out of nowhere, he swore. No way in hell would that idea pop out by his own choice.
It was stupid, a complete nonsense and unbelievably tempting. Gray discarded the thought in the moment it showed up, thrusting it in a far corner of his mind where he wouldn't look again; but it wasn't completely placated as it would appear again in a few days. He refused it then as well. And it happened again, and again, and again, as many times as he shoved the idea it would come, and before long, he was thinking about it willingly. He was afraid of the very idea and still, he thought about it.
His mind tossed, twirled, and inspected the unknown concept, surveying every aspect of it, searching for all the outcomes.
If he ever dared to act on it, the future transformations would be unpredictable. It wouldn't only affect him, the water mage that had become a prevalent side of his life would obviously be involved in it too, and nothing would be the same anymore. Yet, it seemed the natural thing to do. After all they had gone thought, after all the time spent and the somethings that didn't let him in peace, it was the next step.
Furthermore, there was thrilling feeling in him each time he pictured the outcomes next to the apprehension, a feeling of excitation crushed him and no imagined reality seemed real enough compared to what could be. And he was so curious to know. He was intrigued and afraid at the same time, in addition to all the other unnamed feelings that Juvia surfaced in him.
He spent days pondering endlessly, switching between dread and curiosity, until he came to a conclusion.
Maybe it was worth a try.
So he manned up and asked her.
It happened in spring, when the annoying scent of flowers and life revived from the snow winter left behind flowed every place. It was a rainy day, dump and hot, sweat sticking at the bodies of people. In short, a hateful day.
They were at Frank's. He didn't require all the uproar the guild would bring, nor the extra eyes on them that tended to follow their every moment when together. Both of them were eating in comfortable silence, she wrapped up in sweet oblivion and he stirred in his seat, full aware of what was to come.
Gray clenched his hand under the table, took the last emotional push and while looking ahead him, maintaining her in his peripheral vision, he asked.
He threw the bomb with as much casualness as he could gather.
It didn't sound casual at all.
First, there was stillness.
Then a splash sounded, Juvia's food dropping to the table, as she gazed in bewilderment at him. She seemed as confused as he was while gaping like a fish out of water.
"Cou— Could Gray-sama repeat it?" She asked with a voice that barely passed as a whisper. "Juvia didn't hear it well."
"You know you heard okay."
Silence filled the place. Long, suffering silence that brought every kind of doubt to both sides.
"Gary-sama" she gulped, eyes wide with disbelief, "wants to go out on a date with Juvia?"
There was a moment, a very short moment, where fear engulfed him. The Ice-Make mage thought about backtracking with his plan. Maybe he shouldn't do it, maybe he needed to forget it and let everything as it was, not change a thing. Changes could be a bad thing. They could meet an end that none wished. He didn't want that.
He was going to deny his words and let everything as it was. He was going to choose the sensible option.
He would have done that if it wasn't because the girl in front of him.
She was stiff with anticipation, mouth hanging open and face contorted in incredulity, eyes shining brightly with something he couldn't recognize. That sight made his breath catch and heart stop for a second. It was just a second; a tiny, worthless second, but it was enough to do wonders.
It hit him hard and suddenly, a splash of cold water in a scorching day, destroying any thought of backing down. Their situation, all the dragging that had been going for so long, would keep going in an endless loop, he knew. An endless, tiring loop that should conclude but wouldn't. Because she would stay waiting as she had been doing and he would stay wondering as he had been doing. They would keep doing it for a long, long time if he didn't step ahead now, he knew.
Their strange, stagnant relationship wouldn't change at all if he did nothing now. He knew that too.
Until... until the very moment they reached a point that all the waiting and wondering would lose all sense, come to a halt where it wouldn't matter anymore and had worn them out to the very core. They would be so tired of all the waiting and wondering and then, before they knew, there wouldn't be anything to let as it was.
Gray just knew.
And he didn't want that. He really didn't. He wanted that much, much less than the result it could bring.
He sighed.
He could give it a try, he thought. An opportunity to herself, himself, and all this relationship thing.
He could give a try to see where things would head to.
But more importantly, he wanted to try. He really wanted.
So Gray replied sincerely.
"Yeah."
And then, everything just changed.
...
A shriek. A jump. Two people falling. A thud.
An answer.
"Yes!"
But to take the first step, you need the will to do so.
N/A: This was supposed to be around 7000 words long one-shot. Now it's a two-shot and the first part has over 8000 words. Yeah, NAILED IT. Pfff. And everything seems so raaandom, I don't even know what I've done. But it's good practice to improve my english, so there you have. If anyone asks about the Lyon thing I'll (try to) explain it in the second part (?). I don't believe anyone can just say that they are over someone and be over with it for good.
The second chapter will take (a lot of) time cause I'm really slow writing, you see, and real life is just so annoying with its exams and workloads and shit.
Hope you liked the fic! If there is any mistake or a way to improve the story tell me so I can fix them!