Such Exquisite Agony!
Suggested Theme:
Main Theme- Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer
General Hux officially authorized the costume party, which would include technicians, officers, and accomplished Stormtroopers, for a morale boost. Unofficially, he did it because his boyfriend of nine months, Matt the Radar Technician, promised him an extraordinary treat.
"Hux, did you know that Naboo had knights of their very own?" Hux nearly leaps out of his skin when he hears that question just as he locks the door to his quarters. He turns and sees Matt, wearing his adorable technician uniform, with a large, white box in his huge hands.
"Oh, Matt, it's just you!" Hux takes off his greatcoat and lays it on the back of his chair. "And, no, I didn't."
"The knights were abolished with the absolute monarchy after the Gungan-Naboo War." Hux nods, trusting in Matt's knowledge. Matt has told him that his grandmother was a Naboo and, as a youth, sought to learn as much as he could of the New Republic world.
"Of course, the knights eventually became landed gentry and corrupted nobles, but, originally, they were Holy Knights for the Brotherhood of Cognizance." Hux can easily guess how the Holy Knights of Naboo were characterized: chivalrous, noble, valiant, honorable yet blood-soaked, and virginal. Like Arthurian knights. Hux feels his mouth go dry like Matt's shirtless.
"Their chief duties were typical like your knights, Hux, but they had an added duty: they were supposed to be companions to the Temple Priests and Priestesses." Hux raises an orange brow at that. Matt smiles gently.
"You see Temple Priests and Priestesses in the Brotherhood of Cognizance were quite like the monks of the holistic order: usually given up at birth by their noble families, spent their lives in service to Shiraya, studied knowledge, and worshiped art. However, unlike the monks, they were never allowed to leave the Temple grounds unless to perform a service." Matt pauses; he takes off his glasses and puts them on Hux's desk. Now, Hux can see Matt's big, brown eyes.
"The monks believed that the divine purity that Shiraya graced the Priests and Priestesses with would be soiled if the Innocents were exposed to the filth that lay outside the Temple. So they created the Holy Knights to guard the Priests and Priestesses when they had to go out in the world. They could spend months traveling on the road, protecting the holy virgins." Matt's big lips twitch into a devilish smirk, making Hux's face heat up.
"Behind closed doors where the monks cannot see, who knows what they did together?" Matt hands him the box; the tips of Matt's calloused fingers scrape against Hux's leather gloves. Hux opens the box and sees a white cap and a black veil on top of a folded, pure white dress.
"The Priests and Priestesses had the same dress code. A white cap, a black veil, and a pure white dress. And—" Matt's plush lips caress the tip of his left ear. "Wore nothing beneath their dress."
"A-Ah, s-so," Hux has to take a moment to calm his raging libido. "What do you want?"
"I want to be your Holy Knight and protect you from the filth." Matt nips at his ear and then kisses it better.
"M-Mmm, only way that will happen if there was a c-costume party." Matt's hands are at his narrow hips.
"Yes, with those beneath you invited. So I can guard you from them and—" Matt's fingers slip into his waistband. Hux is shaking, a mix of pleasure, but also of fear. He does not want Matt to explore any farther. He does not want Matt to feel his…slight imperfection.
"I will receive Holy Communion from you." Matt's hot breath tickles the back of his neck.
"Y-Yes!" He feels those large, fleshy digits press into his First Order-standard briefs, hard enough to leave bruising imprints.
"Then," Matt immediately pulls his hands out of Hux's pants. "You better make that announcement."
Hux's face turns red from the memory, but most of the heat in his cheek has gone straight to his cock. He shifts uncomfortably in his far-too-tight jodhpurs.
Hux looks at himself in the full-body mirror and sees his cheeks immediately turn as red as his eyebrows. No wonder the Priests and Priestesses had the same dress code; I can't tell what gender I am from how shapeless and sexless this attire is. A balloon has more sexuality than me! As bibulous and flouncy the dress is, he cannot help but marvel at how well it hides his body.
"You can't even tell that I'm not wearing underwear." He mutters so quietly, fearing somehow someone will hear him. He flinches when he hears knocking at his door and tiptoes to the door in his worn, black slippers.
"It's Sir Amidala, Your Innocence." Hux sucks in a quick breath. He did not expect Matt to take this role-play so seriously. And it is only right for Hux to do the same.
"Praise be to Shiraya." Hux murmurs as he opens his door. He does not know what the Priests and the Priestesses would tell their Holy Knights. Imperialistic Atheism is the dominant religion of the First Order, so the databases have very little unbiased information on most religions, particularly on near-dead religious orders such as the Brotherhood of Cognizance. And what little knowledge that Hux has on religion is certainly not on the human-centric ones.
"Oh…you need not kneel before me, Sir Knight." Hux nearly moans when he sees Matt kneeling before him with such deference that any chivalrous knight would be envious of. And they would also envy his cape! It's long like Vader's!
"I cannot rise until I've received your blessing to do so, Your Innocence." Hux bites his lips and then stops before he draws blood. He places his left, red hand on top of Matt's yellow mane.
"Sir Amidala, you will always have my blessing." He says as demurely as he can, hoping that Matt will not hear the tremble in his voice. Matt rises, and Hux can finally see the rest of his costume. Matt has on a black metal breastplate with matching gauntlets and woolen hose. He has a codpiece like Vader's. Ah! I need to stop staring down there! Hux flushes.
"Shall we go, Your Innocence?" Matt holds out his right arm for Hux to take. Hux takes it without another word. Matt tugs him forward, and Hux collides with Matt's muscular torso.
"I apologize, Your Innocence, I've forgotten how light you were." No, you're just too damn strong! But a Priest would not say such things.
"It's alright. I cannot ask you to separate yourself from the battlefield. It would be like asking you to quit being who you are." Matt's brown eyes darkens, but Hux swears he sees a flash of gold in the lust-filled darkness.
"Thank you, Your Innocence." Matt lowly murmurs and escorts Hux to the party.
No one at the party recognized General Hux in his costume; it helps that not one red lock has escaped from his habit. But he recognizes most of his staff, even in the dimly-lit party room.
Captain Phasma is a knight and chatting up with a Petty Officer dressed like Kate Bush.
Chief Petty Officer Umano is Medea, if her long, red dress and carrying two dead child-dolls were anything to go by, and she's drinking punch by the punch bowl.
Petty Officer Thanisson is dressed like a schoolboy from a posh private school with a pocket watch.
JB-007 is dressed like a suave spy and drinking a shaken, not stirred martini with his blue eyes on Umano.
Lieutenant Mitaka is missing from the party, but then Hux remembers he hired a Zeltron bartender, so Mitaka is probably having sex in the storage closet. Again.
None of them recognized him. He would get maybe a half-second look of them figuring out what he is, but then they would return to what they were doing. Phasma and Umano thought he was a medieval princess, Thanisson thought he was a nun, and JB-007 thought nothing since he was more preoccupied with Umano.
Matt got more attention than him. Though Matt's face was not societally pleasing, his body made him the objects of desire for anyone wanting a ripped male with an eight-pack and body armor. Whenever he walked, his cape would flow magnificently behind him. Just like Darth Vader.
Irrational jealously would seize Hux whenever someone, usually more beautiful or shapely than him, would look at Matt.
You're an Innocent; you should not know jealously! He would reprimand himself, while Matt would smile like he knew exactly what he was thinking. Matt's smiles always turned him on.
"You must be thirsty, Your Innocence." Hux nods shyly, trying very hard to be an Innocent that isn't wrestling with his horniness and jealously. Matt disappears into the crowd for only a minute and comes back with a chute of Hapes wine. Hux has always hated wine; he always found the stuff to be overrated and nowhere near as interesting as absinthe or as soul-burning as Chiss vodka. But, tonight, he will drink it for his Holy Knight.
"Oops!" Hux exclaims when he accidently lets some of the wine dribble off the corner of his mouth. He expects Matt to immediately lick the wine trail away, but Matt watches as the thin, red stream stains the white collar.
"Your Innocence, I am not allowed to kiss you for only Shiraya gets too. The wine must've been quite strong tonight." Hux pouts. He loves it when Matt kiss him with his full lips.
"You must be thirsty too." Hux offers his chute. If I cannot have his lips kiss mine, then I'll have an indirect kiss!
"Oh, I am, Your Innocence." Matt looks him up and then down. His brown eyes trail on his well-hidden crotch. Hux's mouth goes bone-dry.
"I-I see." Hux strategically avoids staring at Matt's cod piece, so he does not imagine the burgeoning erection beneath the sheet of cock armor.
"We should be going, Your Innocence. Holy Communion can only take place at her altar." Hux shifts uncomfortably; he does not like walking when he has an erection.
"A-Ah, yes, we should!" Hux squeaks as Matt picks him up bridal-style. He buries his face into Matt's breastplate, not wanting to see the partygoers look as he's manhandled.
Neither a man nor a woman would squeak like I have! He sighs prettily.
Matt would not let Hux see where they were going. Matt has one hand firmly placed on Hux's head and keeps him from looking around. All he can do is hear; he hears the whirl of the turbolift, the metal crunch as Matt walks across the floor, and the steady thump of Matt's big heart.
"We're here, Your Innocence." Matt finally puts him down, and Hux can see. And what he sees makes him turn whiter than his dress.
"This is…..Lord Ren's floor." The scorch-marks, the telekinetically-bent pipes, and the fritzing of frayed wires are all indicators that this is his floor! WHAT THE SEVEN SITH HELLS ARE WE DOING HERE!? Hux's anxiety skyrockets when he remembers that Kylo Ren is most likely hearing his unguarded thoughts.
"Do not fret, Your Innocence, Lord Ren is a fellow brother-in-arms, so he understands the importance of discretion for such a sacred ritual." THIS IS KYLO REN! THERE'S NO WAY HE'D EVER APPROVE OF US—Matt cups his face and brings their faces close enough to kiss. Hux reflexively closes his eyes for the impending kiss.
"Only Shiraya may have your lips," Matt gently admonishes him. "But I will have your cock."
"It's not much of a cock." Hux confesses. Humiliating tears pinprick his closed eyes.
"No, it's more than any cock can ever be. It is the only cock than can give Holy Communion." Matt gently murmurs like the Pardoner. Matt has so much faith in me. And he has such a nice mouth.
"Okay….let's go inside." Matt lets go of his face, and Hux opens his eyes to see Kylo Ren's doors wide open. It is dark at first, but Hux's eyes adjust to it.
His quarters look a lot like the interrogation chambers, except no red lights. Did the ship contractor do that on purpose? But why? It can't be a cost-saving measure considering how his quarters take up an entire floor! Hux's own quarters were far smaller than Kylo Ren's. Once, Matt suggested that he should just take half of Kylo Ren's. And he can now see why Matt would make such a suggestion.
"This way, Your Innocence." Matt takes him by the hand and leads him deeper into the quarters. His green eyes are drawn to the king-sized bed with soft, black sheets; he wonders when Matt will surprises him, throw him on the bed, and have his way with him. Hux blushes deeply. Matt's a gentleman, no way he'll screw me on another man's bed. Especially Ren's!
"I present the altar, Your Innocence." The color drains from Hux's cheeks, making them as pale as Shiraya's Moon. The altar that Matt presented is the kind that Hux has seen scattered across Nagi and some Sith Temples. The ones on Nagi are used to house the ashes of loved ones, while Sith Temples have them to house the ashes of enemies.
However, Kylo Ren's ash altar seems to do both. Hux sees the ashes of enemies and he sees the head of a loved one.
Darth Vader's charred, mauled, twisted helm is atop the ashes.
"…I-I…" Hux's erection flag at the burnt head of one of the Last Lords of the Sith.
"Your Innocence, I shall help you." Matt spins him around to face him, and Hux momentarily forgets Vader's broken helm. Matt's warm, brown eyes are nearly black like his fabulous cape; his plush lips are red and bitten. Matt comes closer and embraces him; Hux becomes malleable for Matt. Malleable enough for his lover-knight to press him right against the ash altar.
Matt goes to his knees and lifts up his dress high enough to get his head in there. Hux nearly whines when his dress hides Matt's wonderful face.
"Oh, Your Innocence…." Hux cheeks burn and his eyes water with his impending humiliation.
"Y-Yes, Sir Amidala?" He croaks and holds back a sob. He's seen my legs, and he didn't run away. But my cock…there's no way it can provide him any pleasure. It's too small and weird.
"Shiraya has blessed you. You're smooth and curved like her Crescent." Is curved synonymous with uncut? Because I know most of the males in the First Order are circumcised, even the Stormtroopers. He gasps when he feels one of Matt's lips kiss the tip of his tiny cock.
"Try n-not to bite it off!" Hux pleads as Matt sucks the tip into his mouth. Matt's tongue, slippery and obnoxiously long, wrap around the root of his cock like a serpent and strangles the pleasure out of him.
"M-Matt!" Hux moans his last coherent words, and devolves into a chorus of groans, pants, and whimpers. His hands scramble for something to hold tight; the ash is too fine for him, so he has to rely on the helm. His ash-coated fingernails claw the sides of Darth Vader's head.
Finally, he screams.
Matt wetly and loudly disentangles himself, while Hux sinks onto his knees, taking the gnarled helmet down with him in a loud clatter.
"Y-You shouldn't swallow it; it's so bitter and nasty like wine." Matt merely smirks and loudly swallows.
"I love wine." Matt then licks his lips. His near-black eyes flash with gold, mesmerizing Hux. With his mismatched hands, he grabs Matt's face.
"You cannot kiss me, Your Innocence." Matt gently reminds him again. Hux is tempted to break his Vows and kiss the faithfulness out of Matt's lips. He brings one, ashy finger to rest on Matt's lips; he presses the plush bottom of Matt's soft lips, pondering if he should slip his finger into Matt's warm, wet cavern.
Instead, he traces his finger up to Matt's wide forehead. He brushes back Matt's blonde curls and traces Shiraya's Crescent on the naked forehead. He steps back and sees his work: a grey crescent on his lover's white skin.
"I cannot kiss you, but Shiraya can." Hux murmurs softly and clasps his hands together as though he were going to pray. Matt's eyes brighten until they become the rich brown that Hux has always loved.
"I love you." Matt confesses. Hux does not reply immediately, making Matt's eyes well up with tears like he's committed a grievous sin.
"I love you too."
Author's Comments- Here are the links:
Here is an image of the outfit that Hux was wearing: a href=" . "Link/a
To note, the Holy Knights and their "relationships" with the Priests and Priestesses are what I made-up for this story. I read the Wookie on the Brotherhood of Cognizance, Shiraya, and Naboo religion, which really doesn't have much details. So I had a lot of room to work with.
This came about after my last one-shot, which was supposed to be this but with a handjob by Hux, when I finally figured out how to write this. This was also supposed to come out on Halloween or at least the day after Halloween, but I was busy with school.
Anyways, aside from committing Earth religious blasphemy, here's how Vader endured all of this:
Vader: *sees Hux and Kylo* Aww, my grandson, you have reached far enough in your relationship to roleplay, and you're even wearing the same costumes that your grandmother and I wore a couple of times.
Vader: *Kylo is about to give Hux a blowjob* Okay, now turn me around, so I don't have to watch—
*Hux claws the shit out of him.*
Vader: Ow, ow, ow, OW! He has Palpatine claws! Wait, Hux is a ginger, has pale skin like he's never seen the sun, has not an ounce of fat on his bones, has watery blue eyes, and is evil…..OH MY FORCE! HUX IS PALPATINE'S GRANDSON!
*Gets dropped to the floor.*
Vader: OWW! Well, at least it's over—
*Kylo and Hux say "I love you" for the first time.*
Vader: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! It's like if Palpatine and I got together!
And with that, Palpatine is totally going to rise from the Seven Sith Hells and save his grandson from another Skywalker. And possibly Snoke because he's a discount Darth Plagueis.