It's in the middle of eating dinner that a thought occurs to Goku, and it grips onto the Saiyan so tightly that he has to push his rice away from him. Gohan looks up, dark eyes filled with question, as it's impossible to imagine his father denying himself one of his mother's meals.
Chi Chi notices, and her mouth is in a thin line. In a second, Goku assumes, she'll begin to yell if he doesn't say something to lighten the mood. After all, Gohan is highly impressionable, and he needs to focus on his studies and not his father's depressing mood. Or something to the effect. Goku smiles and picks up his bowl again, downing the food in hardly any time at all. If Chi Chi asks, he'll say that he was stuffing his face so much that he needed a moment to breathe. Gohan won't ask anything because he's careful and timid and polite and everything his parents aren't.
The rest of the meal goes by without incident, and Goku even manages to make Gohan laugh by repeating something that Krillin had said earlier that day; Chi Chi smiles, but she's still dubious of her husband, and it's such a palpable feeling that even Goku, dense as he usually is, makes a mental note to talk to her later.
He offers to help clean up, which is an act of service he sometimes forgets to provide; but Chi Chi shakes her head, ushering him into the living room so that he can make sure that Gohan's actually studying. The boy is, of course, and Goku tells his wife as much. He looks at her, at the way her entire body lends itself into washing every plate and bowl, and he finds himself watching. Perhaps even studying.
Chi Chi is beautiful, and it's not a fact stated often enough. She's pretty in an conventional way, in that she'll never be unattractive no matter how she ages or changes her hair or wrinkles. She's small, in the strongest of ways, and Goku finds himself marveling at why she ever chose him as a mate. Chi Chi is smart, and tough, and royalty, and he's simply rough around the edges, at best.
Eventually, Gohan is ushered into bed, and the child complies gratefully after his having been forced to compute and calculate and read and scrawl for two hours. Despite this torture's origin, his mother, Gohan hugs her tightly, offering a few quiet words of goodnight before escaping to his room. Goku almost says nothing but doesn't, because he doesn't feel like starting something now. Gohan is tired and has his mother on the mind, and his dad is hardly ever around anymore, but that's alright, because the two of them share silent laughs and exchange knowing looks.
In another minute, Chi Chi is shedding her clothing for something more comfortable. Again, Goku is staring, watching the curve of her body. She's more than he can remember, and perhaps dying and nearly dying again gives one a new perspective about beauty, because Chi Chi has never been as stunning as now. He doesn't catch that she's side-eyeing him, now, and her face is coloring into a bright red that dusts her cheeks and forehead. "Can I help you?" comes the shrill voice, undoubtedly far higher and angry-sounding than she desired, but it's enough to pull Goku out of his reverie.
"Hmm?" He smiles in a way to diffuse the situation, but he can't understand why he feels so unwelcome in this bedroom. Maybe it's because he's known Chi Chi for so long, but he never knew what he was until now, and things could have happened so differently.
"You're staring, Goku," she reminds the Saiyan, and she finally pulls her nightgown over her head. It's silky, and the ends of her hair stick up because of the static from the clingy material, and she gives a noble effort to pat her locks down again. Inevitably, she gives up, and the hair tames itself, and Chi Chi looks so wonderful in the powder blue color of her dress. But she says this in a disbelieving voice, because she's hardly ever caught Goku staring in a way that wasn't pertaining to confusion or curiosity.
Right now, Goku's staring with wonder, and he's doing it so unashamedly that he makes her suddenly self-conscious. Chi Chi pulls at the gown, makes sure the fabric passes her thighs and nearly hits her knees; she doesn't break eye contact, because she's not sure what will happen if she does. Goku might stop staring, might stop looking at her as if she's the only thing in the room, and it's such a fragile moment that she doesn't dare risk it.
"I am?" he asks, but he's not really concerned about her response. He knows he is, that he's been gazing at her for far longer than he ever has in a long time. The last time he marveled at Chi Chi like this was so long ago, when her stomach was swollen with a baby, his baby, and he couldn't understand how they managed to get something in there, but she had been so happy, and her skin was glowing, and he couldn't help but feel his heart swell with something he'd later decide was unadulterated love for both her and that baby that'd later be the strongest child he'd ever met.
Gohan really is incredible, the Saiyan thinks, even as Chi Chi's nodding as a response to his question. He's the first of his kind, and it's incredible that Goku and Chi Chi had no clue what they were making or getting into, or how no one could have known what the merging of a Saiyan and a human could bring.
Goku's mouth goes dry, and it's completely unclear as to whether it's the way Chi Chi's dress hugs her shape or that he'd never considered the possibility of ever losing her over something she wanted and loved and still does so much. He thinks it's both, and Chi Chi notices his expression , and she's instantly at his side. "What is it, sweetheart?" she asks, hand ghosting the expanse of his chest, and the touch alone sends an insane amount of conflict through him.
"Nothing," he lies, replacing the smile on his face, and Chi Chi removes her hand, the warmth and the feeling fleeing with it. If he were more forward, he'd pull her back to him, but he's never done that before, and it'd be too late to start now. Besides, she's watching him with those understanding eyes of hers, and her face softens.
She doesn't say anything, which is completely against her nature, but she does move closer again, and the space between them is hardly there anymore, and he can feel her body heat. He thinks it's his extensive training that has made him sensitive to each of her movements and touches and almost touches. A graze of the finger suddenly means so much more to him than he could have ever thought before, and he's not exactly sure how he's going to live with this, because suddenly Chi Chi looks impossible to ever leave behind.
Without a sound, she buries herself into his chest, her arms wrapping around his torso; she can't quite connect her hands, and she's never seemed so tiny, but Goku's never felt so secure. He looks at her, at her shiny black locks that fall across her back, and her narrow shoulders that are never exposed, but they are now.
Chi Chi has no clue what's wrong with her husband, and she doesn't pry any farther. Perhaps on a different day, but she's spent years learning Goku, and she knows when to let a subject drop. She doesn't look up at him, doesn't trust herself to, because tonight he's been staring at her far more intently than she's ever been used to. She's seen him stare in confusion, and perhaps infatuation, but he's never studied her like this.
Suddenly, she feels him return the hug, his strong arms surprisingly gentle. Chi Chi does glance up now, and Goku's wearing the oddest smile. It's not joyful, nor is it bitter. Reflective, maybe.
"You really are staring," she points out, smirking just a bit, to diffuse the mood; she'd much rather the room feel light and chipper and familiar instead of this, this analytical atmosphere.
Goku laughs in the back of his throat, and it's a deep yet pleasant sound that reminds Chi Chi of her normal husband, and maybe he's just having an off day. "You're something, Chi Chi," he states, simply, as if it was an easy thought.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He mulls over the question for a bit, and Chi Chi watches him carefully, a bit apprehensive as to what his answer will be. "Think about it - we have a son."
She laughs, pushing her hair back away from her face. "You just now realized now? Goku, I-"
"When we had Gohan, we had no clue what Saiyans were, or how strong he'd be, or how strong I could be." As he's speaking, Chi Chi's eyes are following him; she's confused, more than she's been for the entire night, mostly because Goku never interrupts her, and never for something serious. "What if something had happened? I mean, think about it-"
"I am," she interjects.
"-What if Gohan wasn't born like he was? I've seen him fight before, Chi Chi. He could have done that to you. I-" He stops himself, suddenly becoming self-aware. Chi Chi wants him to go on, because it seems as if there's been a breakthrough, but he's clammed up, and she has to accept that.
In her mind, she imagines him saying something along the lines of, 'I could have lost you.' It's what she wants to hear, anyway. Goku is a good man, a sweet man, a strong and brave and loyal man, but he's not necessarily loving. To Gohan, sometimes, and he'll pick her up and twirl her around the room if something spectacular happens; and she'll giggle like she's seventeen and could think of nothing better to laugh about. But she doesn't expect him to tell her that he loves her, can't, because Goku's only done it a few times, and he's never done it without her declaring it first.
Chi Chi nods, smiling lightly. She disentangles herself from Goku's arms, and he lets her. Their bed is behind them, and she sits on it, smoothing out her dress. To her surprise, Goku takes a seat beside her, glancing over at her once more. "You look nice," he finally says, and Chi Chi almost gives herself whiplash by turning her head as quickly as she did.
"You think so? I've had this for a while," she replies, fighting the urge to blush. He's her husband, and they've had a child, which means that she's seen him naked, and he's seen her the same way; she should not be nervous, and she's not.
"No, I really like it." He means it, too. The color is perfect against her skin, and he finally looks away. "It's pretty."
The rest of the night goes similarly. Chi Chi crawls into bed, Goku following not long after her. He stretches, and leaves his arms sprawled out long enough for Chi Chi to understand the invitation. She moves closer to him, resting herself against him. His arms are muscled, of course, obnoxiously so, but they aren't uncomfortable. In fact, she feels safe, and it's a good feeling.
Chi Chi falls asleep first, easily, and Goku is left to his own thoughts. He should have said more, should have told Chi Chi that he loved her, because he does, of course, because Chi Chi looked absolutely gorgeous tonight, and maybe she didn't even know it. But right now, she's nestled in his arms, and he resolves to one day tell her everything that's on his mind. Someday, he'll be transparent with her, and she'll be the same. Hopefully, Gohan will love easier and speak more freely than his father, and that's all Goku can hope for, that the greatest declaration of love between himself and Chi Chi should be better than the both of them combined.
He smiles a bit, deciding that he'll try to notice her more often, because the nightgowns she wears are breathtaking, and she should most certainly wear those more often.