Hey there! So, I started this story last year. I already posted it in AO3, under my other pen name (which I have here too) and I haven't posted it here yet because it has some mature content, but since I've read this kind of fics here, I decided to post it as well. I hope no one gets offended by this. The story is not complete due to work and stuff but I really intend to finish it even if I'm one season behind. There are about eight chapters ready to post and I will update them in the following days if there's any interest. I hope you enjoy it!

Oh any typos you find please forgive me and let me know, English isn't my first language.

Something was wrong. Or at the very least, not completely right. Danny didn't care if everyone thought he always had to see the worst-case scenario on every situation because he could feel it, deep in his gut. He felt it for the first time when Catherine appeared at Steve's house ready to go to the wedding, the uncertainty on her expression like she wasn't sure whether she really should be there or not, and he could see it at the wedding in the longing looks she gave Steve when she thought he wasn't looking. But Danny was looking. He would always look out for Steve and right now he needed to make sure Cath wasn't going to wreck him again and then leave him to pick up the shattered pieces of his heart.

Steve was tired of all these mixed up feelings. Ever since he emerged from the ocean to discover an apologetic Catherine waiting for him with a hopeful look on her eyes, his brain had been running wild full time trying to ride the rollercoaster of emotions in his chest. The truth was Steve never got himself to resent Cath, he just felt that familiar void in his soul when he realized she wasn't coming back, but sadly enough a part of him accepted that as normal, as if that was bound to happen sooner or later. After all, a lot of people in his life – people he cared about – left, died, even betrayed him, so he should be used to it by now, shouldn't he?

But then she came back, told him she had missed him and asked him how long he wanted her to stay, and just like that everything rushed back to him, the sweet warmth of feeling needed and loved, the urge to take care of her, the calmness in the sense of belonging. It took Steve all but a couple of days to realize he didn't want to lose that again, that he was done with being alone, and to decide that proposing to Cath was the way of preserving the bubble of happiness that surrounded him right now.

He also knew that – fortunately for his sanity – not everyone in his life left him. It was the fact that his best friend and one of those few who never abandoned him didn't seem to be completely pleased with the development of the situation that made him feel a little unsettled.

Danny had been nagging him relentlessly about finding out Cath's intentions and warning him to not just throw caution to the wind to prevent last time's fallout from happening again, and even if he seemed genuinely happy for him when he confessed his intentions of proposing, Steve could still feel the tense energy emanating from Danny each time they were around Cath.

Sometimes he surprised himself thinking that maybe Danny was jealous, and automatically laughed at the idea, because why would Danny be jealous? Sure, it was undeniable that they cared and watched out for each other and that well, they loved each other, but jealousy didn't fit in their kind of love, right?

After all he had been with Cath and Danny was with Melissa, or at least had been until Rachel had broke the news about Charlie. Danny had told him he and Melissa had had a fight about the messages and the fact that Danny hadn't explained the situation to her until almost a week after his conversation with Rachel, too caught up in the whole 'I have a son I didn't know about and he's sick' tornado to deal with explaining her the newest kind of drama in his life. Apparently Melissa had said she needed some space and Danny had too much on his plate right now to be able to focus on working in their relationship.

All in all, the last few weeks – or maybe months or years – had been a little frantic for both of them, and even if he just dismissed Danny's worried rants with their usual banter, Steve hoped his overprotective partner would tone down the hovering once he proposed to Cath, and maybe then they could all start to really relax.

Danny took a slow sip from his beer, looking distractedly at the TV but not really following the game that was on. His thoughts were somewhere else, he'd been replaying in his head the conversation with Cath earlier that day, analyzing her expressions and trying to find secret meanings behind her words. At first he was pleased with her answers, she seemed sincerely happy to be back here with Steve, but when they hugged each other Danny couldn't help but feel the slight tremor in her body as she said 'there's nothing I want more'. That wasn't exactly a 'yes, I'm staying' and Danny was feeling increasingly uneasy the longer he tried to decipher what else could that imply.

Anyway, he supposed he would know soon enough, Steve had told him after their conversation in the boat that he would talk to her and pop the question later that day, so he'd been giving them time to talk and celebrate before he interrupted them.

But after another half an hour practically climbing the walls, Danny decided to sent his partner a text, that way he could answer later if they where still 'celebrating'.

[Op report? Should I secure a pack of Longboards? D.]

He hit 'send' and went to the kitchen to prepare some dinner and distract himself from checking the phone screen each five minutes.

But after having dinner, taking a shower, and talk to Grace on the phone for 20 minutes without having received a response, the uneasy feeling had morphed into a full-blown 'something's wrong' signal that he couldn't ignore anymore. He knew Steve would have taken 10 seconds to send him a short 'target accomplished' text or something like that. So he just picked up the Camaro's key and headed to Steve's. He already gave them several hours, and if he noticed any sign that they were busy celebrating he would just turn around and talk to them tomorrow. But something kept telling him that was not the case.

When he arrived to Steve's house and parked beside his truck it was almost dark already. He checked for lights inside the house but couldn't see any, so he knocked on the front door. No response. No sounds or any other indication whatsoever of movement inside. Following his instincts, Danny went around the house to the lanai, spotting three empty beer bottles on the table by the chairs on the beach. Turning immediately to the ocean, he could make out the form of Steve swimming, breaking through the waves in the shore's direction.

There was no need for more proof, that conversation had obviously gone wrong, very wrong if his unbelievably reckless partner had decided the best he could do was to get himself drunk before stepping into the ocean.

Trying to contain the flash of anger – after all, Steve would need support right now and at least he was already coming back and apparently not having trouble swimming – he went inside the house to retrieve a towel since Steve hadn't bothered to bring one and at the same time looked around the house, searching for any sign of Cath's presence. There was none.

Sighing, he made his way back to the shore and silently waited for Steve to reach him. When he was near enough to stand, Steve crouched on the sand, waves still rolling through his legs when he finally noticed Danny and looked at him and god, his eyes showed sadness so deep that Danny only wanted to hug him and never let go. It was exactly the look he hadn't wanted to see, the sadness he had tried to spare his partner from feeling.

Thinking he had obviously failed to prevent it, he held the towel with his arms stretched for Steve to step on, which he did, and then wrapped it around his back before starting to make soothing circles meant both for drying him and letting Steve know he was here for him without actually having to say it. Steve was tense and stiff at first under his arms, but gradually started to melt into Danny's touch until he let his forehead fall forward to rest on his partner's shoulder with a deep sigh. Danny kept his gentle touch on his back with one hand while placing the other at the back of Steve's neck, squeezing a little and just holding him, letting him have this quiet moment and decide when he was ready to move and face the conversation about how his heart had been broken again. If he was willing to have the conversation, that's it. With Steve that wasn't always a given.

After a couple of minutes he started to shift a little on his feet and Danny disentangled them enough to search his face, noticing the red-rimmed and slightly glazed eyes. Steve was a little drunk at least, and Danny thought that probably had to do with the passiveness and vulnerability he was showing.

Danny ran his hands along Steve's arms, trying to get his attention.

"Do you want to go inside? It's getting a little cool out here."

Steve just nodded and started to walk to his house, while Danny picked up the empty bottles before following him inside, going to the kitchen to throw them in the trash and to give Steve a little space. He heard him heading upstairs, probably to change out of his wet swim trunks, so Danny retrieved a beer from the fridge for himself and a bottle of water for Steve and sat on the couch.

Steve came down a couple of minutes later, wearing just a pair of worn sweat pants and looking a little more like himself. He sat down beside Danny and looked at the bottle on the table.

"What, no beer for me?"

"Well, I thought since you had a head start maybe I could catch up while you tell me what happened. Then if you want, we can get drunk together, teenage style, singing under the moon style, whatever, you name it."

Danny watched a tiny hint of a smile tugging at Steve's mouth, while he picked up the water and drank a few sips from it.

"Also I set an alarm on my phone so I don't forget to rant to you tomorrow about the cleverness of getting in the ocean after getting drunk."

Steve rolled his eyes at that.

"I'm not drunk, Danny, it takes more than a couple of beers for that. I just…I was out there drinking and I felt the need of swimming, running, I don't know, doing something."

Even if Steve claimed he wasn't drunk, his speech was a little slurred and slower than normal, and his eyes had that sad glint again. Danny knew he had to ask or Steve would never get himself to talk on his own.

"What happened babe?"

Steve looked down at his hand on his lap, not looking up to speak.

"She was already waiting for me with her bags packed when I arrived home. She said she needed more than what a relationship can give her right now, more than what I can give her right now I guess. That she wanted to feel needed, so she's going to Nepal and doesn't know for how long."

Danny was trying to hide the rage boiling his blood right now. How could she have done that, just a few hours after telling him she didn't want anything more than staying here with Steve?

"What did you say?"

"I told her I couldn't wait for her anymore if she left. But she still did. Pretty sure that speaks for itself."

Danny put a hand on his arm. Steve still wasn't looking at him.

"I'm so sorry babe. She doesn't deserve you, that's for sure. And even if it doesn't look like that right now, I think it's better she did this now and not a few months or a year from now, you know?"

Steve just nodded slowly.

"You know, this might sound strange but even if I thought I loved her and I was ready to propose to her, after she left and I was drinking on the beach I couldn't help but feel like it's not really that she's gone what hurts so much, it's that…everyone leaves. I wanted…I wanted someone to stay, just this time."

Danny was sure that was the most emotional, sincere and heartbreaking thing he had ever heard from Steve's lips, probably helped by the alcohol he had taken, but whatever the reason he couldn't waste this opportunity of letting Steve know how wrong he was.

"Steve", he squeezed the arm he was grabbing but couldn't get his partner to look at him, so he scooted closer to him and grabbed his other shoulder with his free hand, forcing him to face him, "Steve, look at me. Not everyone leaves. I don't leave. I won't leave, ever."

Danny maintained his gaze because this was important, Steve had to understand it was true, and he could see the trust in the look he was given back.

"I know, Danny, I didn't mean it like that. You've always been here for me and I…I really appreciate it. I won't leave you either…" Steve lifted his hand and put it on Danny's shoulder, leaning a little forward like he wanted to hug him. They were barely inches away from each other now.

But Steve stopped mid-motion and suddenly lifted his head to barely touch Danny's lips with his own.

Danny was shocked for a few seconds but then almost on instinct he returned the kiss, equally soft and gentle, realizing Steve had barely moved, giving him the choice to reciprocate or move away. Not like moving away felt like an option right now, he could feel how Steve was showing him right now all the emotions he was always fighting to hide, he was allowing himself to be vulnerable.

Oh god he was indeed vulnerable right now, just a few hours after being abandoned again and at least half drunk, Danny couldn't help but feel like he was taking advantage of Steve, even if he had been the one starting the kiss. He slowly broke the contact and could immediately see the change on Steve's face expression.

"Danny, I'm sorry, I…" Steve was already moving to get off the couch, but Danny grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back, wrapping him into a hug before Steve could protest.

"Listen to me, don't you dare apologizing. There's nothing to apologize for. But I think you should rest now and we can continue this conversation in the morning, what do you say? I'm not going anywhere, Steve."

Steve didn't say anything but relaxed in Danny's arms and they got more comfortable on the couch, Danny still protectively surrounding Steve while giving him a soft kiss on top of his head.

They could talk about all this tomorrow when they both could think more clearly. Danny really wasn't planning on going anywhere. Not now, not ever.