p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;" Hermione sat alone in the silent common room. The only sound was the scraping of the plastic knife on the toasted bagel as she spread phlegm-flavored cream cheese on it. The bagel was one she had stolen from Dumbledore as he had been distracted whilst unicycling around the great hall as Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" played in the background. As she was about to take a bite into the flavorful bagel, she heard the fat lady shriek. She turned her head, she saw Draco Malfoy standing in the doorway, wearing his Danny Phantom T-shirt. A gust of wind came, whipping his long, luscious locks about his head as he strutted towards Hermione, resembling a Victoria's Secret model. As he neared Hermione, his spirit animal, Jorge the rainbow donkey, materialized next to him. Hermione watched as the Donkey pranced about, leaving a trail of multi-colored sparkles in his wake. Suddenly, Hermione's spirit animal, Francisco the polka-dotted llama, fell from the sky into a bucket of grandma candy (you know, those weird strawberry things that seem to spawn at the bottom of every grandmothers' handbag). As Francisco rose out of the vat, he locked eyes with Jorge. They slowly glided towards each other in a trance as Whitney Houston rose out of the ground on a mechanical bull singing "I Will Always Love You." Then, side by side, Francisco and Jorge glided towards the window and flew off into the sunset, powered by their fart energy. To a new magical land they went, to a land filled with lollipops, cream cheese, and alpaca babies. As Hermione and Draco watched their spirit animals fly off, presumably forever, Draco leaned down. He put his mouth close to her ear, quietly whispering, "The ship has sailed."/span/p