'TRUCKS IN SPACE'
DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them. OK Edna honey suppose you set the stage for everyone since you, Rio, Angie, Mar and Kome are the major characters after myself and the redheaded nightmare.
Well me, Rio and Angie are third year tro-con student cadets at godd old Takachiho Academy for the 3WA. Our dean and proctor (Aunties Kei O'Halloran and Yuri Donovan) are in charge of the training missions and their execs are Marlene Angel and Kome Sawaguchi. Oh yeah I'm Edna Jordan and my pals are Rio DelCroix and Angela de Roncesvalles.
Our training mission started out without Miss Donovan whom Mr Garner made stay behind to run the Academy but less than two weeks into the mission Miss O'Halloran got a call from Mr Garner. He told her to curtail the mission and report back to the Academy really quick! When we arrived, Mr Garner placed Miss Ella (Hathaway) in charge of the Academy and ordered both of my aunties, my two pals and myself, Miss Kome and Miss Marlene along with several other higher ranking 3WA officers to immediately report to his office on Alderaan. For the trip we used two of the four shuttles- the 'Raphael' and the 'Leonardo' which were piloted by Captain Bluesummers and Miss Angel respectively.
We all rode on Miss O's shuttle the 'Raphael' while Miss Angel ferried the rest of the higher ups and Miss D on the 'Leonardo'. When we arrived, for some darn reason, we were ordered to change into civvies and stand by for a briefing. It really sounded very hush hush to us! I may as well tell ya that all third year cadets are 'ensigns' with the exception of Angie who is a 1st Lt and an acting Captain! I understood but Rio and Kome grumbled about that a lot! I mean Kome's a 1st looey too but not an acting anything and Rio and I are lucky to be ensigns after the last incident we were involved in but the less said abou that mess the better!
Furthermore when we were all changing into spiffy civvies, Miss O and Miss D came in and announced that Mr Garner wanted us all to look like bums! Actaually Miss O said that she wanted us all to look like we were on what the ancient Terrans called 'welfare'! Rio got upset because she had a new micro-miniskirt outfit in a darling shade of green taht she had been dying to show off to the gang. Nothing in our school wardrobes seemed old and dirty and dingy enough for Miss O though so she had Miss D rep up some of the most horrible and smelly fuku (clothing) she could and BION that is what we had to wear! The briefing was short, terse and to the point.
It seemed that 'space pirates' were 'hijacking' space going delivery trucks or oro Mr Hugh and Mr Alex of the 'Ice Road Brigade' called 'rigs' and 'semis' and what Mr Bear called 'tractors and trailers'! In order to stop these 'shenanigans' and capture the 'brains' behind the operation, we were to pose as 'truckers'- three to a vessel.
I drew the short straw so our driver was Miss O whom I was ordered to call 'Dirty Sally'. Her driving prtner was Miss Angel aka 'Ridge Route Robbie' while I was to be the 'grunt' trainee and my name was 'Bike Rider Paula'. I never learned whom any of the others were posing as but we all got new vid IDs which Miss O dipped in grease and oil until they looked old and dog-eared. I did learn from Rio who would NOT tell me the name she'd been saddled with that there were five teams of three each and that if we screwed up it might be curtains for us all!
Oro we hated worst of all was getting our long hair cut off! It seems that truckers prefer shorter hair! Only Mr Mumira the owner of the company and his assistant Ms Von Zell knew whom we really were and we were ordered not to use titles, real names or to salute any 3WA officer ever! Mr M was a guy we were told to call Larry and Ms VZ was Arlene.
Our weapons were small Mark III ion cannons, 'bloody' cards, tiny tante and kanai (daggers) and mini laser sword hilts all of whih had to be carried on our persons and be completely concealed and undetectable. The 'trucks' were small star cruisers wih 'trailers' attached like a freight train does with boxcars. In each shipment of stuff we had a tiny 'tracker' hidden. The plan was to allow ourselves to be hijacked and hope we were taken hostage! Mr Garner said he felt sorry for whoever grabbed Katie's truck!
Hey! Look at that! In today's holo vidpape or oro you guys call a newspaper there's an article about that idiot who tried to blow up the big ball on New Year's Eve! Relax. I mean the one on 'Kassandra Minor' not the one on Terra that they have been dropping since ancient times well the 20th Century is ancient times for us. To commemorate the opening of the New York Times newspaper building in 1904 they created a huge sphere and lowered it during the final minutes before New Year's Day at midnight. The custom caught on and soon became a tradition until around AD 2197 when Terra became worthless and uninhabitable.
Mr Black and Uncle Spike made a trip down there a few times in the AD 2140s. They picked up an old antique Beta video player VCR then tried to play a VHS video on the darn thing. Oh and Terra's where they found darling tomboy Edward and 'Tomato' that ugly computer thingy she is never without. Her best pal Ein the data doggie is home grown- on Mars which is where Uncle Spike was born. Mr Black hails from Calixto or Ganymede I think but Commander John wasn't too clear on that subject. Auntie Faye or Faye Faye like Ed calls her is oro you'd call an enigma. She's from Terra but a long ago Terra.
You see she was in a suspended anime er animation I mean state for close on to seventy years like those four crooks we saw last night on an old Twilight Zone rerun. The Brigadier (Marlene Angel) repped up a bunch of that old junk on vid disks for Mr Mikey (Michaelangelo of the TMNT. The four main shuttlecrafts are named after them- Raphael, Leonardo and Donnatella) last weekend.
Oh yeah the story about the big ball, right? Well it says here that the perp was a guy named MacConnell who used to be one of the pirates that tagged along with Johnny Berringer during the 'Gysymeo' incident way back in AD 2249. He'll be convicted and get a few stanzas at 'Seto Kaiba' is oro Auntie Keisie would tell us!
OK I guess it's high time I started the tale in earnest or Gina won't stop kicking me in the ribs. Ladies & Gents, I give you Chapter the First of 'Trucks In Space' and we sure hope ya all like it. This is Edna Jordan oops I mean 'Bike Rider Paula' signing off.
CHAPTER 1 'Angels & Ships & Trouble' or 'Redheads & Rocket Boosters Don't Mix'
"Kei! Take it easy on those darn thrusters! You just blew past 'Io' doing 40 Warp easy!" crackled the voice of an upset 'Snow White Chaser' aka Yuri Donovan.
"It's 'Dirty Sally' you damned airhead! And I was only doin' 36 Warp, 'Snow White' so shut the Hell up! Seen any 'possibles' yet?" barked an angry 'Dirty Sally' into 'Snow White's shell-like ear. Yuri yanked off the vid receivers and threw them on the dash of the 'Crow's Nest' which was without a doubt the smelliest and dirtiest transport she had ever been aboard!
"Yo! 'Snow White'! Which way now? Around that cloud bank or through it, yer royalness?" demanded a gruff guy who was in the operator's seat. 'Big Bad Hughie' was the leader of the Ice Road Brigade and along with Alex, Bear, Eric, Drew and Rick had been shanghaied and then press ganged back into the 3WA whether he liked it or not!
The reflected vid cam lights reflected off the new silver railroad tracks on his epaulets because with the exceptions of Drew and Rick, the Ice Roaders had all been promoted to Captain. Sure this was a covert ops mission but as Alex correctly pointed out to Mr Galadriel, they could all pretend to be 3WA deserters to explain why they were willing to run the 'Corellian' space routes. Garner, Gooley, Gustav and Poporo had all agreed and Mr Galadriel, the 'God of the 3WA' had made it unanimous.
"Becky Sue? Honey, onegai (please) tell 'Big and Bad' why we would never ever fly into a 'nebulae' will ya?" yawned a bored 'Snow White Chaser' reaching for the java urn.
"Cloud bank indeed! Mr 'Big and Bad' a 'nebulae' might look like a harmless cloud bank but it is in fact well sort of like a portable 'wormhole' meaning that if you went into it here Kami knows where or even if you'd com out of it, my dear sir. I will recoordinate your course to NNE by SWS which should bring us to Jupiter 2 by the morning." said Becky Sue who was yet another emulation of 'CC'. Each vessel had one and they were fully capable of steering their assigned crafts to their proper destinations.
"I'm hungry!" moaned Rick and Drew's tummy growled its agreement.
"Madam 'Dirty Sally' the natives are restless. Since it seems that we will encounter no 'nasties' tonight (It was close to 2100 hours or 9 PM UT- Universal Time) might I suggest we put in at the 'Rest Your Engines' space truck stop? You could all do with some refreshment, rest and er shower facilities, Milady." tactfully advised Sir Cedric while Kei barreled along at a sedate 45 Warp! She grabbed and keyed the vidphone.
"Listen up ya mangy inu (dogs)! 'Dirty Sally' thinks we should call it a day so we'll put in at 'Rest Your Engines' and start up again tomorrow. Hey there Mr Moriarty, Mr Skywalker, Miss Olson and Mr Bluesummers. Do you copy that?" she said and when everyone had 'rogered' in the redhead quickly decelerated to SubWarp 6 just in time to avoid missing the turnoff around 'Aurora Major' which would lead them all to nice warm bunks.
The three guys and Neko Olson had been provided with X-Wing fighters and were riding 'shotgun' on the strangest convoy ever to hit the heavens! Moriarty had volunteered when Lance Edwards and the Outlaw Star had been called away unexpectedly. He had been Lance's fellow 'KASP' officer and a damned good tomodachi to boot. Luke Skywalker had a thing for Neko the shape shifting human/nekomata/neko/trill/cat demon and she'd been ordered to fly cover by her uncle Jonathan Harlock. Blue of course had raised his hand to volunteer even before the 'G Force' had explained oro the mission was!
"What a bitch that slave drivin' hussie is! Right Eric?" grumbled Hugh and Eric nodded. He had just caught a glimpse of the silver-green-haired Andvarian female who was tending bar and wasted no time in trying out Miroku's pick up line. Alas for him, Andvarians would sleep with Ein if no other male was available and with Per-Al hot on his heels, Eric beat a hasty retreat to the turbolifts!
The rest sat down to a hearty meal but before they could dig in- TING! Alex had tapped his water glass with a spoon.
"The Good Lord hath provided for us-" began the 'Minister of the Ice Roads' before Hugh and Rick kicked him in the shins.
"God's a great guy! Now let's eat!" said a very ravenous Bear and so they fell to and ate with great gusto. After dinner Drew insisted on singing much to the chagrin of the other patrons some of whom might possibly be their prey. At 2230 hours (10:30 PM UT) 'Dirty Sally' pried 'Snow White' loose from a poor space trucker covered with tattoos who silently toasted his rescuer and downed a flagon of 'Noraka' which is a cross betwixt 'Schnapps' and 'Jack Daniels'.
And so the weary travelers all retired to their bunks for some well earned trips to DreamLand. But while they slumbered, another space trucker named 'Destiny' was burning the midnight hyperdrives to reach his 'Bluetooth' destination when suddenly he felt the entire ship shake violently. Then he felt himself and the ship and cargo tenders all being inexorably pulled back towards a monstrous thing like a planet eater! He was helpless in its grasp he soon learned when his controls took on minds of their own! Suddenly a voice boomed forth.
"You have been captured, Monsieur (Mee-Sure) by the 'Nautilus 2'! You will be tried for the crime of polluting the Universes with foul and odious dilythium emissions! I am Captain Nobody!" cried out the mad despot thoroughly scaring the jigoku out of 'Destiny' who now feared for his own destiny!
END of Chapter 1. Chapter 2 'Captured By Nobody' or 'Pirate Or Patriot?' coming soon. R/R/S my friends.