IdentityIdentity
By. Rogue's Worst Nightmare
Identity
Chapter one
By Rogue's Worst Nightmare
a.k.a Cat Smith, Crystal, and Gambit's Angel
cat2312@cableinet.co.uk/ cmartin@roncalli-nt.roncalli.k12.nf.ca/
gambitsangel@hotmail.com
****It's six o'clock in the morning. 'Rogue' wakes up.
Rogue:Ahhhh. What a beautiful da....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!(Jean comes in.)
Jean: Gambit, what are you.....oh, baby!
Rogue:Don't look at that! I'm Rogue. I'm in Gambit's body. It's really me.
Jean:Shhhhheah! Whatever, buff boy. (Yells) HEY GUYS AND GALS!
STRIPSHOW!!!!!!!!!!
Rogue:No! Stop it!
Betsy:Did I hear 'strip show'? Hey, hey, hey. Remy, I never imagined......
Rogue:I'm Rogue!!!!!(Bobby enters)
Bobby:Whoo! Gambit! Somebody loan me a dollar!
Rogue:Don't you dare!(Hank enters)
Hank: Oh, my stars and garters.
Bobby: Yeah! Hey Gambit! Put on some Garters.(The 'real' Gambit comes in.)
Remy: Did somebody say strip shooooOOOOOAH! WHO'S DAT!?!!!!!!!!
Betsy: Gambit? Then who's..........
All: UH, OH!
Rogue:Told ya all!!!
Hank:Rogue, I know you want to touch and kiss Gambit, but, really, this is NOT
the way to go!
Rogue: Do you think Ah choose......oh, no!
Jean: What's wrong?
Rogue: Ah...Ah....Ah need ta use the bathroom.
Bobby: This oughta be fun to watch!
Rogue: YOU AIN'T GONNA WATCH!(Rogue runs into the bathroom and locks the door.)
While Ah'm doing this, can somebody kindly get me some clothes?
Remy:I t'ink I should.....get the..... clothes. Yes......(Remy runs out of the
bathroom with a grin on his face)
Jean:Uh, Rogue?
Rogue:Yeah? Jean:I really didn't like the look on Remy's face. I think he's
going to wake everyone up and...
Rogue:WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!REMYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!(She bursts out of the door and runs
into the hallway screaming)
Jean: ROGUE!! YOU'RE NAKED, REMEMBER?(Rogue freezes and blushes)
Rogue:(in a wisper) help! (Ororo's door opens)
Ororo:Remy, please, put some clothes on and stop yelling. Goddess.
Jean:Storm, it's Rogue.
Ororo:Oh. Still, get dressed and keep it down.(Closes her door)
Rogue: She took that well.
Jean: Seeing is believeing. (Looks down at 'Rogue') And I believe I want to
devorce Cyclops and marry Gambit.
Rogue:STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!
Jean:Mmmmmmmmmmmm..........
Rogue:REMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remy:Yyyyyyyeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss????
Rogue Let's forget the clothes and roll around in the sack. (Remy runs) GET BACK
HERE. (Rogue runs after him and catches him.)
Remy:HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rogue: Come on, sugah, it ain't that bad! Ah'm still me!!
Remy: No, you're not, you're me!! Get off me *whimper* HELP!!!!!
Jean notices what's happening: Hey! Someone get the video camera!! I wanna
remember this!!
Remy, trying to get from under Rogue: I said HELP!!!!!, not get the video
camera!
Jean: Well, *I* said get the video camera!! (pins him down telekinetically) stay
there, big boy. Play Girl'll pay me big money for this!!!!
Rogue: Wahey! Thanks Jean -- An' I'm havin' some o' that money, too!!
Remy: Whaaa!!!
Bobby comes running along with the video camera: Whoa!! This deserves more than
a buck!! Jean, can you lend me...?
Jean: Not a chance!
Remy escapes from under Rogue and legs it: AARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Rogue: Gosh damn it!! This ain't fair!! (Try's to fly after him. Ends up
whacking her chin on the floor) Owww...
Jean smiles at the sight of Remy's naked body (specifically the butt :), with
Rogue in it.
Rogue (stares suspiciously at Jean):Ah don't lahk the look o' that look...
Jean: Remy can wait til after I'm done with you!!
Rogue: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rogue legs it after Remy)
Jean chases Rogue and Remy, hoping to get one of them (or both) into bed: Get
back here!!!
Rogue + Remy:No way!!!
Scott opens the door to Betsy's room, in a pair of skin-tight red PVC shorts:
What's going on?!?
Jean stops: Hey!! What are you doing in Psylocke's room? And what are you
wearing!?!?
Scott: Uhh, nothing?
Remy pops his head around the corner: she gone? (See's Scott and grins) Nice
night wit' Betts, homme? An' I t'ought y' said dat she weren't gon' get y' int'
dose?! (points at the shorts)
Scott: Why, I... uh, I don't know what you're talking about, I would never...
Jean's eyes flash, smoke comes from her ears:You... you... cheater!!
Remy: Oh, come on, Jean! Y' c'n do better'n dat!! Come on, it starts with a b,
ends in d, has...
Jean: Shut it, big boy!! You're next!! (turns back to Scott) Not only are you
having an affair with Betsy, but you're bragging about it, and wearing PVC?!?
You wouldn't even wear that feather boa and lace teddy when I asked you to!!!
That's it!! If you're having Betsy, I'm having Remy!!
Scott: No! You can't! Men need more than one woman -- its scientific, because
we're bett--
*WHAM!!*
Jean: *That's* better!
Remy: Hey! Can I have a go?
Jean: No. he's my husband, I get to punch him. When he's _your_ husband, *you*
can punch him.
Remy pauses: Dat, Jean, is a scary, scary thought. Don't ev' mention it 'gain.
'Sides, de lady wit' de cat lets me punch him!!
Jean: Yes, well Lori isn't here -- if she was, you'd be saddled with six kids,
so I'd shut up! Speaking of kids... lets go make some!
Remy: Scuze me? Arghhh!!! (Jean pounces on him from the front)Lemme go!!
Rogue: What's all the... Hey!! Jean, he's mine!! Get off him!!
Jean looks up: You can have Scott..
Rogue: Ewww!! Ah don't want Scott! Ah want Remy!! He's mine!! Get off! (Starts
pulling Jean's hair. Cat fight ensues)
Jean: My hair!!
Rogue: You ain't gonna have no hair to worry about when I'm done!! Get off my
boyfriend!!
(Rogue and Jean are fighting over Remy while breaking his ribs for him. With a
whimper, he crawls away, then legs it again. Run's into Bobby)
Bobby: Hi, Remy (smiles)
Remy: I don't like de look o' dat smile...
Bobby: What smille?{smilles more leacherously}
Remy: De smille you wearin' now!!!
Bobby: Oh, that smille. Well I'm only smilling like that 'cause I WANT YOUR
BODY!!!!!!
REMY RUNS AND SCREAMS . He swerves to the left only to run right into JEAN.
Jean: Take me , big boy!!!
Remy: Help me please, somone help me!!!!!!!!!!
Elsewhere, Rogue is busy trying to find Remy. Still naked{ In Remy's body.
Mmmmmmm, Isn't that a picture, Meaw!!}Rouge runs down the hall only to bump into
Jubillee?!
Jubillee: Whoa, mama! Gambit,now I know why they call you the ragin' cajun. Man,
give me a piece of that!
Rogue: It's me, Rogue.
Jubillee: All the better!!!
Rogue runs, holding her hands inbetween her legs,screaming:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhille, back at the ranch, Remy has finally lost Bobby and is entering the
med-lab where Beast is trying to look smart by looking at a piece of paper and
saying "fastinating"
Remy: I finally lost dem. Man, does are some flipped out chicks.!!. Remy(gulping
nerevously,going down on his knees): I DID YA HEAR AND I'M GLAD, GLAD I TELL
YA!(starts to cry)
Beast: Really, I can't see what they see in you( straightens his coat, looking
nervous)
Remy: What de matter wit' you?
Just then Jean walks out of a room, half dressed. She smerks at Remy and goes
over to Beast.
Jean: That was good, lover.
Beast: Had better.
Jean( steam coming out of her ears{kina redundant,ain't it}): You what?!! Well,
It was the best I had.
Beast: Seeing as Scott is your husband, I've no doubt of that
Jean: Why I never!!
Beast: And you most certianly never will again.
Jean leaves in a huff whille outside the med-lab Rogue is screaming:Help, I have
a lesbean teen on my heels!!!!
Bobby(rushing into the med-lab): Come on Remy, I want that ass!!!
Rogue(coming into the room): You can'T have that ass, It's mine!!!
Remy(looking at Rogue's behind): You better believe it!!!!
Jubillee(runing into the room): Take me, somone, I don't want to die a
virgin.(Then seeing two Remys, She has a total heart spaz and dies)
Beast: She's dead!!!
Bobby: So, we never liked her anyway.
Enter Jean tolting a BIG bat. She is followed by Scott who is crying his eyes
out because his wife beat him silly. Then in comes Pyslocke and Storm , who have
no bearing on the story but were in the area and didn't have anything better to
do. Then, wouldn't you know it, But Wolverine shows up with a bad ass look on
his kisser.(so what else is new)
Beast: Remy, isn't there somthing you want to tell Rogue?
Remy(ringing his hands): I 'ad sinny make a clone of me and put you in it 'cause
I t'ought dat dere not enough o'me in dis universe and I wanted you to know what
it like to be moi.
Rogue: Why you&*#!@ bastard!!!!
Remy (looking at Jean): Least one of us have de nerve to say it.
Then Jean and Rogue jump on Remy. Then Jubillee jumps on Bobby and beats the
bejesus out of him.Scott goes to a corner and broods. Pyslocke and Storm beat
each other for the hell of it and Wolverine just watches(THERE'S A
FIRST!!!!!)Then Beast takes a gun out of his desk and shoots everyone whille
laughing his furry head off. Soon, all the X-men are dead execpt Wolverine.
Wolverine: They dead?
Beast: Yes now we can do as we please. Wolverine holds out his arms and Beast
rushes into them . Slowly their lips come down on each other
and.............................
WHOA! WAIT A MINITE!! HOLD ON A MITE!! WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN.THE EVIL WRITER
HAS GONE TOO FAR!!! LET'S TURN TIME BACK AND WRITE THAT OVER AGAIN. NOW WHERE
WERE WE? OH YEAH......
Wolverine: They dead?
Beast: Yes , now we can do what ever we please.
Wolverine: Well then, LET'S MOMBO!!!!!
And so he and Beast formed a line(not much of a line!)and kick out their legs.
And fun was had by all.
THE END(COME ON EVERYBODY, MOMBO. YA KNOW YA WANTA)
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By. Rogue's Worst Nightmare
Identity
Chapter one
By Rogue's Worst Nightmare
a.k.a Cat Smith, Crystal, and Gambit's Angel
cat2312@cableinet.co.uk/ cmartin@roncalli-nt.roncalli.k12.nf.ca/
gambitsangel@hotmail.com
****It's six o'clock in the morning. 'Rogue' wakes up.
Rogue:Ahhhh. What a beautiful da....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!(Jean comes in.)
Jean: Gambit, what are you.....oh, baby!
Rogue:Don't look at that! I'm Rogue. I'm in Gambit's body. It's really me.
Jean:Shhhhheah! Whatever, buff boy. (Yells) HEY GUYS AND GALS!
STRIPSHOW!!!!!!!!!!
Rogue:No! Stop it!
Betsy:Did I hear 'strip show'? Hey, hey, hey. Remy, I never imagined......
Rogue:I'm Rogue!!!!!(Bobby enters)
Bobby:Whoo! Gambit! Somebody loan me a dollar!
Rogue:Don't you dare!(Hank enters)
Hank: Oh, my stars and garters.
Bobby: Yeah! Hey Gambit! Put on some Garters.(The 'real' Gambit comes in.)
Remy: Did somebody say strip shooooOOOOOAH! WHO'S DAT!?!!!!!!!!
Betsy: Gambit? Then who's..........
All: UH, OH!
Rogue:Told ya all!!!
Hank:Rogue, I know you want to touch and kiss Gambit, but, really, this is NOT
the way to go!
Rogue: Do you think Ah choose......oh, no!
Jean: What's wrong?
Rogue: Ah...Ah....Ah need ta use the bathroom.
Bobby: This oughta be fun to watch!
Rogue: YOU AIN'T GONNA WATCH!(Rogue runs into the bathroom and locks the door.)
While Ah'm doing this, can somebody kindly get me some clothes?
Remy:I t'ink I should.....get the..... clothes. Yes......(Remy runs out of the
bathroom with a grin on his face)
Jean:Uh, Rogue?
Rogue:Yeah? Jean:I really didn't like the look on Remy's face. I think he's
going to wake everyone up and...
Rogue:WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!REMYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!(She bursts out of the door and runs
into the hallway screaming)
Jean: ROGUE!! YOU'RE NAKED, REMEMBER?(Rogue freezes and blushes)
Rogue:(in a wisper) help! (Ororo's door opens)
Ororo:Remy, please, put some clothes on and stop yelling. Goddess.
Jean:Storm, it's Rogue.
Ororo:Oh. Still, get dressed and keep it down.(Closes her door)
Rogue: She took that well.
Jean: Seeing is believeing. (Looks down at 'Rogue') And I believe I want to
devorce Cyclops and marry Gambit.
Rogue:STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!
Jean:Mmmmmmmmmmmm..........
Rogue:REMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remy:Yyyyyyyeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss????
Rogue Let's forget the clothes and roll around in the sack. (Remy runs) GET BACK
HERE. (Rogue runs after him and catches him.)
Remy:HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rogue: Come on, sugah, it ain't that bad! Ah'm still me!!
Remy: No, you're not, you're me!! Get off me *whimper* HELP!!!!!
Jean notices what's happening: Hey! Someone get the video camera!! I wanna
remember this!!
Remy, trying to get from under Rogue: I said HELP!!!!!, not get the video
camera!
Jean: Well, *I* said get the video camera!! (pins him down telekinetically) stay
there, big boy. Play Girl'll pay me big money for this!!!!
Rogue: Wahey! Thanks Jean -- An' I'm havin' some o' that money, too!!
Remy: Whaaa!!!
Bobby comes running along with the video camera: Whoa!! This deserves more than
a buck!! Jean, can you lend me...?
Jean: Not a chance!
Remy escapes from under Rogue and legs it: AARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Rogue: Gosh damn it!! This ain't fair!! (Try's to fly after him. Ends up
whacking her chin on the floor) Owww...
Jean smiles at the sight of Remy's naked body (specifically the butt :), with
Rogue in it.
Rogue (stares suspiciously at Jean):Ah don't lahk the look o' that look...
Jean: Remy can wait til after I'm done with you!!
Rogue: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rogue legs it after Remy)
Jean chases Rogue and Remy, hoping to get one of them (or both) into bed: Get
back here!!!
Rogue + Remy:No way!!!
Scott opens the door to Betsy's room, in a pair of skin-tight red PVC shorts:
What's going on?!?
Jean stops: Hey!! What are you doing in Psylocke's room? And what are you
wearing!?!?
Scott: Uhh, nothing?
Remy pops his head around the corner: she gone? (See's Scott and grins) Nice
night wit' Betts, homme? An' I t'ought y' said dat she weren't gon' get y' int'
dose?! (points at the shorts)
Scott: Why, I... uh, I don't know what you're talking about, I would never...
Jean's eyes flash, smoke comes from her ears:You... you... cheater!!
Remy: Oh, come on, Jean! Y' c'n do better'n dat!! Come on, it starts with a b,
ends in d, has...
Jean: Shut it, big boy!! You're next!! (turns back to Scott) Not only are you
having an affair with Betsy, but you're bragging about it, and wearing PVC?!?
You wouldn't even wear that feather boa and lace teddy when I asked you to!!!
That's it!! If you're having Betsy, I'm having Remy!!
Scott: No! You can't! Men need more than one woman -- its scientific, because
we're bett--
*WHAM!!*
Jean: *That's* better!
Remy: Hey! Can I have a go?
Jean: No. he's my husband, I get to punch him. When he's _your_ husband, *you*
can punch him.
Remy pauses: Dat, Jean, is a scary, scary thought. Don't ev' mention it 'gain.
'Sides, de lady wit' de cat lets me punch him!!
Jean: Yes, well Lori isn't here -- if she was, you'd be saddled with six kids,
so I'd shut up! Speaking of kids... lets go make some!
Remy: Scuze me? Arghhh!!! (Jean pounces on him from the front)Lemme go!!
Rogue: What's all the... Hey!! Jean, he's mine!! Get off him!!
Jean looks up: You can have Scott..
Rogue: Ewww!! Ah don't want Scott! Ah want Remy!! He's mine!! Get off! (Starts
pulling Jean's hair. Cat fight ensues)
Jean: My hair!!
Rogue: You ain't gonna have no hair to worry about when I'm done!! Get off my
boyfriend!!
(Rogue and Jean are fighting over Remy while breaking his ribs for him. With a
whimper, he crawls away, then legs it again. Run's into Bobby)
Bobby: Hi, Remy (smiles)
Remy: I don't like de look o' dat smile...
Bobby: What smille?{smilles more leacherously}
Remy: De smille you wearin' now!!!
Bobby: Oh, that smille. Well I'm only smilling like that 'cause I WANT YOUR
BODY!!!!!!
REMY RUNS AND SCREAMS . He swerves to the left only to run right into JEAN.
Jean: Take me , big boy!!!
Remy: Help me please, somone help me!!!!!!!!!!
Elsewhere, Rogue is busy trying to find Remy. Still naked{ In Remy's body.
Mmmmmmm, Isn't that a picture, Meaw!!}Rouge runs down the hall only to bump into
Jubillee?!
Jubillee: Whoa, mama! Gambit,now I know why they call you the ragin' cajun. Man,
give me a piece of that!
Rogue: It's me, Rogue.
Jubillee: All the better!!!
Rogue runs, holding her hands inbetween her legs,screaming:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhille, back at the ranch, Remy has finally lost Bobby and is entering the
med-lab where Beast is trying to look smart by looking at a piece of paper and
saying "fastinating"
Remy: I finally lost dem. Man, does are some flipped out chicks.!!. Remy(gulping
nerevously,going down on his knees): I DID YA HEAR AND I'M GLAD, GLAD I TELL
YA!(starts to cry)
Beast: Really, I can't see what they see in you( straightens his coat, looking
nervous)
Remy: What de matter wit' you?
Just then Jean walks out of a room, half dressed. She smerks at Remy and goes
over to Beast.
Jean: That was good, lover.
Beast: Had better.
Jean( steam coming out of her ears{kina redundant,ain't it}): You what?!! Well,
It was the best I had.
Beast: Seeing as Scott is your husband, I've no doubt of that
Jean: Why I never!!
Beast: And you most certianly never will again.
Jean leaves in a huff whille outside the med-lab Rogue is screaming:Help, I have
a lesbean teen on my heels!!!!
Bobby(rushing into the med-lab): Come on Remy, I want that ass!!!
Rogue(coming into the room): You can'T have that ass, It's mine!!!
Remy(looking at Rogue's behind): You better believe it!!!!
Jubillee(runing into the room): Take me, somone, I don't want to die a
virgin.(Then seeing two Remys, She has a total heart spaz and dies)
Beast: She's dead!!!
Bobby: So, we never liked her anyway.
Enter Jean tolting a BIG bat. She is followed by Scott who is crying his eyes
out because his wife beat him silly. Then in comes Pyslocke and Storm , who have
no bearing on the story but were in the area and didn't have anything better to
do. Then, wouldn't you know it, But Wolverine shows up with a bad ass look on
his kisser.(so what else is new)
Beast: Remy, isn't there somthing you want to tell Rogue?
Remy(ringing his hands): I 'ad sinny make a clone of me and put you in it 'cause
I t'ought dat dere not enough o'me in dis universe and I wanted you to know what
it like to be moi.
Rogue: Why you&*#!@ bastard!!!!
Remy (looking at Jean): Least one of us have de nerve to say it.
Then Jean and Rogue jump on Remy. Then Jubillee jumps on Bobby and beats the
bejesus out of him.Scott goes to a corner and broods. Pyslocke and Storm beat
each other for the hell of it and Wolverine just watches(THERE'S A
FIRST!!!!!)Then Beast takes a gun out of his desk and shoots everyone whille
laughing his furry head off. Soon, all the X-men are dead execpt Wolverine.
Wolverine: They dead?
Beast: Yes now we can do as we please. Wolverine holds out his arms and Beast
rushes into them . Slowly their lips come down on each other
and.............................
WHOA! WAIT A MINITE!! HOLD ON A MITE!! WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN.THE EVIL WRITER
HAS GONE TOO FAR!!! LET'S TURN TIME BACK AND WRITE THAT OVER AGAIN. NOW WHERE
WERE WE? OH YEAH......
Wolverine: They dead?
Beast: Yes , now we can do what ever we please.
Wolverine: Well then, LET'S MOMBO!!!!!
And so he and Beast formed a line(not much of a line!)and kick out their legs.
And fun was had by all.
THE END(COME ON EVERYBODY, MOMBO. YA KNOW YA WANTA)
Links to other sites on the Web
Shifting Sands Archive
Mail Me!!!!!!!!
Go back to the main page.
This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page
Try Yahoo! Calendar
More...
Get Organized!
Use Yahoo! Calendar to track your personal schedule, whether
at home or on the road.
Try Yahoo! Calendar!
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