DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. I'm just diving inside their heads and making nonsense out of it.
Author's Note: Okay, so I know that this pairing sounds totally warped right now. But that's what's it meant to be. There's a S/M/N triangle going on throughout the story, but the main focus is the relationship between Sango and Naraku. The first chapter or two may appear slow-paced, but I really want to build-up the tension and set the background context for the story so that it's not something thrown entirely out of sequence with the main Inuyasha story. Will try my best to update at least once a week, depending on how busy I am with work. So, here goes...
This story is set in the Sengoku period. The group are finally approaching the day where they must face Naraku head-on. But unfortunately, they don't get to that. This isn't a story about Sango finally being with Miroku. As much as she'd like that to happen, this is a story about destruction. And obsession. I don't want to convey Naraku as just an abusive, soulless, being. But I will not allow him to be wiped of his sins, either. Sango is not deluded. She understands even in the midst of her captivity that Naraku is an evil murderer. Her bravery and compassion is what allows her to see Naraku differently. Naraku is a split-soul, who holds a shattering secret but hates himself for what he really feels. He lacks understanding of his own behaviour towards his prisoner, but he'll soon have to make the choice between his very real prejudiced beliefs or what he truly desires. And with something unexpected entering their dangerous world, the chance of a happy ending remains implausible.
It would all be over soon; we could sense that. The turnout was unclear to all of us. So much had happened since we had joined Inuyasha and Kagome to help find the skion jewel shards. But since Narauku and the Band of Seven have more of them than we do, as well as assigning countless demons to track us, it was a bleak foresight to say the least. Inuyasha had been quiet for days, whether because of anxiety or moodiness I can't say, even though Kagome's multiple attempts to lift his spirits were most exhausting.
"Come on, Inuyasha," she said, taking a packet of instant noodles out of her bag. "You know these are your favourite!"
His ears twitched briefly, but he soon folded his arms across his chest and gave Kagome a look of utter disapproval.
"Why do I need that stuff? We're about to finally face that Bankotsu idiot and all you can think about is food!" He snapped, in his usual, arrogant tone.
"SIT, BOY."
A great thud erupted as the ground pulled Inuyasha into its, followed by several mumbles and curses as Inuyasha started to get back up, eager to catch up with Kagome to avenge his petty fall.
Shippo sighed as we all continued on our way ignoring the scene we had so long grown accustomed to.
Nothing frustrates me more than watching Kagome and Inuyasha constantly bicker, ignore each other and then flirt menially.
For goodness' sake, why don't they just accept that they like each other and get on with?
You can talk, Sango. Isn't it the spitting image of you and Miroku, too?
Shut up, brain.
As we embarked on what felt like our final journey, the sun gave a somewhat sad kind of glimmer; a faltering heat. There wasn't much sun anymore. The skies were dark, and that was only if we could see them. An ominous cloud had made its away above us, and most nights – it rained.
I dreaded the sign that told us we were approaching the next village. Miroku's face had already lit up once it was clear it was far livelier than the places of our previous passing through. More women for him to pursue, no doubt.
My thoughts turned to Kohaku as I set my eyes on the village entrance. This was... could we really?
The village of the demon slayers.
My village.
The wooden arch above the entrance was made from the same tree, unchanged in shape and style. I could make our the familiar layout of houses in the foreground and my heart turned to stone. The place that once held such comfort and refuse was now a place of grief, sadness and blood.
Aside from my brother, there was always one other face that always made its way into the front of my mind when I contemplate my seething anger.
Naraku.
I know that the others sympathise with my ordeal. How could they not? To have your family torn from you, and turned into murderers is unexplainably excruciating. I know Inuyasha lost Kikyo, but this is different. I worry for Kohaku every waking minute that I breathe. Is he alive? Does he even know who I am anymore? I swore on that day that I would never rest until I had Naraku begging for death at my feet. And Kohaku back at my side.
That was after all the motive for my decision to join Inuyasha on the quest to kill that wretched demon. As it turns out, I found friends to ease the loneliness left by him. And I have… Miroku. God knows whether his kindness towards me is out of his womanizing ways or not, but he gives me a comfort that nobody else can.
"Sango?" said Miroku, with a light touch on my elbow. "Aren't you coming with us?"
Little had I known I was just standing alone in a total daze.
I blushed a little with a small smile and took the last few steps to a safe place to rest, eat something other than Kagome's instant noodles, and perhaps even get some sleep tonight if we haven't been followed by something that's after the Sacred Jewel.
"Wait," Miroku said, holding out an arm, as Inuyasha and the others began to disappear into the distance, unaware of our delay.
Every time Miroku said something sharp, my heart dropped like a rock. Damn it, I wasn't making my nervousness subtle. What does he want?
I composed my expression and turned to look at him.
"Sango, I know this place must hold some memories for you," he began as he reached out to trace his finger down my cheek. I felt my insides shiver at his touch. "But if you need an escape later, I'll go with you. We can find a river outside the border and sit there for a while. Just make sure you tell me. Okay?"
I've always been at expert at contemplating my innermost thoughts and sensitivities, but talking about them out loud, especially to him, just makes everything seem so real and pushes me over the edge. I couldn't stop as the tears began to gather in my eyes.
"Sango!" Whispered Miroku shockingly at the look on my face. "I'm sorry-"
"Don't be," I said, pushing his hand away from my face. "It's okay."
I walked away from him, not in the mood for any romantic gestures. All I wanted was to be alone.
I spotted a red figure that resembled Inuyasha in the foreground, when I realized just where I was standing. This was it, right? That day. That day I shouldn't have survived.
Slash. Blood. A clunk of metal.
Kohaku.
Father.
Some of the villagers turn as they begin to notice me; their judging eyes piercing through me. I heard whispers, whispers of the Sango girl that left, and her brother… Her evil brother who killed all of those innocent people.
A firm hand grips mine.
"Let's go," he said, leading the way. I obeyed.
The local house, thankfully, was a new building, situated on top of the hill overlooking the village. I was surprised. This town never really bothered with anything new. Inside were beautiful wooden décor, a welcoming lounge, and stairs that presumably led to the rooms. From the window in the entrance, I could see the building where I had spent my childhood.
My old house…
I wonder who lived there now.
Were they happy, like I used to be before Kohaku…?
No. Stop it.
"Get it together, Sango!" exclaimed Inuyasha from nowhere. "If you haven't realized, we don't have time to grieve over the past. We've got a war to win."
God. It's true. What am I doing?
"Right, I-" I began to explain.
"That's enough, Inuyasha," Miroku's harsh voice saved me from stuttering my pathetic reply.
After giving a prideful glare, Inuyasha turned away and went to sit down and eat with the others.
I found myself blushing again, but my little burst of gratitude disappeared when I saw Miroku walk over to the women gathering in the corner of the lounge.
You bastard. Don't treat me like I'm special and then go and attend to somebody else!
"Don't worry, Sango," Kagome's soft voice inclined me to join her for some food. I sat down and starting pouring myself some ramen.
"You know he doesn't mean it," she continued.
"I don't care if he means it or not!" I exclaimed, not having swallowed my food because I was so desperate to defend myself, "It's just annoying, isn't it? Why does he do that when our only focus should be defeating Naraku?"
Kagome raised an eyebrow and indulged in the rest of her ramen with Shippo.
Who are you kidding...? From the moment you met him you knew there was… something.
But was that entirely my fault?
He always treated you differently. Even the others noticed.
But that doesn't matter, does it? It's only because he knows that Kagome is Inuyasha's. He goes for anybody that's available.
It's not always like that, though. He laughs with other women and makes bold gestures, but with you, he stopped that. He will hold your hand, or touch you lightly, subtly. It's not as if he'd do that with anybody else…
No, no, no. I'm not going to sit in this godforsaken village and ponder over my insignificant thoughts about him. Not when terrible things happened here. Things that I don't want to ever recount but my mind still insists on repeating those events night after night. Not when I have any idea whether my brother is alive or dead.
The main thing I've ever felt since Kohaku's disappearance is anger. Anger and frustration. I was supposed to have protected him, as his elder kin. But I failed.
Before sunset, Inuyasha left the house, inspecting the village.
He came back in and looked, for the first time in a while, pleased.
"Nothing followed us," he explained, "Which is definitely a good thing, considering tonight's the night of the full moon. I'd be useless, as a weak little human," he glanced playfully over to Kagome who huffed.
The landlord and his wife escorted us to our rooms. Kagome shared with Shippo, Inuyasha with a space to himself, Miroku next door, and me with Kirara. A picturesque balcony outside our rooms joined all of them together like a corridor, but the draped material over the doorways were thick and would block the first rays of sunlight come the morning.
Would I really sleep here, with my head swimming with thoughts?
I'd have to.
But as I slid the blanket over my cool body, I felt empty. Dark. Lonely.
And all I could see was the consequences of the weapon that Kohaku so brutally wielded.
And blood.
Lots of blood.
I lay there in silence, with no comprehension of how much time was passing, nor whether he was awake.
Why would you want him to be awake?
I don't. I was just curious.
I rolled over, my eyes facing the doorway. Kirara was snoring by now. I couldn't help but smile sadly at how peaceful she looked. If only I could have some of that.
It's amazing how close you can become to an animal, even if she really was a demon. Not an evil demon, anyway. Since I was five, Kirara had treasured me as much as I treasured her. Her nuzzling into my cheek was perhaps one of the greatest comforts I have. And right now, I was more grateful for her company than ever – asleep or not.
It wasn't just the case of being here… in this village. It was most nights where the events of what happened repeat in my mind, no matter where I am, like a stuck record. And worry. Was he even alive? I had never loved a person so much as I loved Kohaku. And now he was taken from me. In a blink of an eye, he became a murderer. Naraku's puppet. How cowardly could such a powerful Demon really be? To assign a little boy to do all the dirty work? God, what was wrong with him? As if greed and power weren't corruption enough. But all of this murder… all of the innocent blood spilled… All for what?
I wonder if the jewel shard inside him gives Naraku complete control. Can Kohaku think, still? Can he see my face? He probably can't, because he's probably… Oh, God. Maybe Naraku really meant it when he told me he wouldn't need my brother much longer in that last battle. And he'd hardly return him to me with a precious jewel shard embedded in his flesh. Kohaku would have to die.
Die…
I pulled my blanket over my head so even the ghosts of my past wouldn't see me shed a tear.
A rustle. Something's moving outside my room.
I started, and I felt myself rush through a vortex back to reality as I peeled my eyes and alerted all my senses.
My Hiraikotsu was at the other side of my apartment, next to Kirara who was fast asleep. God dammit, wasn't she supposed to sense the enemy? Why hadn't she stirred?
I lifted my head, and a shadow appeared behind the curtain, behind the doorway to my room.
"Demon, show yourself!" I exclaimed, finally gathering the courage to jump up and grab my Hiraikotsu.
"Sango, it's me!" His harsh whisper hit me like a punch to the stomach.
I dropped my weapon in sheer bewilderment. Miroku had a cocky way of approaching me at times, but never had he appeared in my room in the middle of the night.
"What… Why?" Was all I could say.
He didn't answer me. He took a few quiet steps into my room.
I took a few steps back.
Soon, my back hit the wall, and his face was only inches from mine.
"Tonight's the first night we haven't been hunted down," he said simply, a small smile appearing on his face. His black hair draped elegantly over his forehead.
I didn't know what to say to that.
Yes, he was right, but...
What could I say?
"I thought I'd never get the chance to just… be here. With you. Since I never had the chance to tell you the truth, I guess tonight's the best opportunity I've had so far." He spoke with a strange softness I hadn't heard before. It made him sound… weak. Weak like me. But also strong. He wasn't afraid of his own feelings.
Speak, Sango, speak!
Haven't you wanted this for a while?
His hand cupped my right cheek, and I began to shut my eyelids, unable to take in what was happening. It was as though fire was burning all through my body. But it felt… good.
Come on, now. Don't fall for his tricks. He just wants some fun. Play it cool.
"Tell me what?" I managed, my voice quiet.
He said nothing, but he took one step further, a smirk beginning to appear on his face. We were so close that his hips touched mine, and when they did so he only pushed a little further.
Oh God.
I can't breathe.
Then he began to move his face closer to mine.
And without realizing what I was doing, something compelled me to do the same. I met his lips as we finally drew close enough, and – wow.
All of these last few months with Miroku had finally been worth it. Those times where my heart would ache as I watched him disappear into the distance, running after some girl.
So, I really was different. He didn't feel… needy. He didn't act desperate like he did with the other ones. It was… a perfect balance, an unstoppable moment.
As if my thoughts of earlier had fluttered into the sky, off to haunt somebody else. His lips were soft, and I could feel his light breath on me. He was gentle. For somebody of his confidence, I expected him to be inattentive to his partner's comfort. I found myself strangely desperate to continue kissing him. But, as if he's read my mind, he met my lips again, opening mine slightly with his own, and oh god, I can taste him, I want him-
SMASH.
Flying pieces of wood. Smoke. Holes. Screams.
"Sango!" I heard Miroku's scream as he flew backwards through the air, far over the balcony, and far over the hill, towards the village.
No. Miroku!
"INUYASHA!" I screamed, running throughout the rabble to find him.
I didn't know what else to do. Inuyasha would know. He must.
There he was. He was in the corner. And he wasn't alone. A tall, animal-like figure stood towering over him. I didn't need to know what kind of animal to confirm it was Naraku.
Inuyasha and Naraku…
But… Oh, God. Inuyasha was human. His long black hair waved in the wind that now came through the wall-less room. How did Naraku discover the day that Inuyasha was human?
God damn it, we had been followed, after all. When I find out what tracked us I am going to destroy it with every ounce of my being.
"What do you want?" Mocked Inuyasha, half in shock, half arrogantly, with far too much strength than he really had to offer.
I heard him laugh, then. It wasn't like a normal laugh. It was dark. It made me shiver.
"Fortunately, Inuyasha, I am not here for you tonight. Your weak, human form doesn't excite me enough to kill you. But when I do, I will allow you to try your best, however petty that will be, using whatever you will. This would be simply no fun…"
That sadistic, twisted, demon. He really likes to play with his food, doesn't he?
Inuyasha snorted, but he succumbed, accepting that in his form he wouldn't be able to do anything.
"I said: what do you want?" Inuyasha repeated.
The Jewel Shards, luckily, had been hidden before we went to bed. It was a tip Kagome used religiously now. After so many ambushes since she looked after the Sacred Jewel, she couldn't risk it being taken. Right now, it was buried in the basement, in one of ten rooms. Naraku didn't have the ability to sense where they were, even if he knew who looked after them.
But if he wasn't here for that, then what…?
"I'm going to be taking something of yours, I'm afraid," he said, turning round to face me. "Or rather, of Miroku's, by the sight I just saw." He smirked at me and I felt my stomach twist. "But fortunately, he won't be around to stop me."
That bastard.
I snapped.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM?" I shouted, grabbing my Hiraikotsu and running at Naraku.
With a simple wave of his arm, it snapped. My… my Hiraikotsu.
It snapped in half, as if a child had just snapped a pencil.
"I don't think you'll be needing that," he said, patronizingly.
I held the remaining piece in my hand, dumbstruck, mouth open. What…what just happened?
No demon should even be able to lay a finger upon it, let alone destroy it! It was crafted from purified demon bones, the opposite of my enemy…
"I'll be seeing you, half-breed," snarled Naraku.
Inuyasha beard his teeth, but he was unable to do anything. In all honestly, he was probably just glad that Kagome was still safe in the room further down.
What did he want with me?
Suddenly, I feel a grip at my waist. What?
Oh… oh my God.
I hold my breath as Naraku jumps into the open air, with me by his side.