A/N = So, this is my very first "published" (FanFic) story. Oh my goodness, I'm so nervous! LOL If you'd like to know more about my writing style and me as a writer in general, please see my FanFic Profile. Thank you soooooo much for reading!

Hope you enjoy my crazy ramblings about the lives and loves of the Twilight characters. PLZ NOTE that they of course belong to Stephenie Meyer and are her property; no copyright infringement is intended nor will any money be earned by me from them. I'm just living in her world for a little bit... However, the plot for "Across the Ocean Blue" is mine.

Basically, BxE are the main focus of this story overall. All of SM's characters are present but just not as prominent as BxE are.

That's just the way I roll, baby!

Finally. I sighed and got comfortable in my seat.

It had only taken two earth shattering personal experiences, one best selling book, and finally overcoming my own stupid sense of trepidation to lead me to this particular point in my life.

As I sat in my first class seat flying from Chicago to London, I thought over all that had brought me to this moment.

I had survived a terrifying threat to my well-being.

I had persevered through an excruciatingly painful divorce.

I had the first bestseller of my career.

And now I was going to move forward with my lifetime dream of living in the English countryside. Much to Charlie's (my father's) chagrin.

There were times over the past few years that I hadn't thought I could possibly survive through the current dilemma I was attempting to live through.

But of course, I did.

They say everything happens for a reason. I wasn't sure about that yet but I was relatively happy with where my life was currently.

I had discovered through my experiences that I have a pretty substantial streak of stubbornness. Which could be a blessing or a curse, depending on the situation. It had cost me a lot with regards to my health.

But it had been a Godsend when dealing with my divorce. It had also been instrumental in cementing my decision to move to England, even though my best friend Angela and my dad were taken aback by it.

I sighed. The lady sitting next to me on the flight glanced over at me questioningly. She stared at me for a little longer than appropriate and then shook her head as she began rereading the page she was on.

I got that a lot since my book had appeared and then stayed on the New York Times bestseller's list for almost eleven months. People were sure they recognized me but weren't able to place where from. Unlike movie stars, authors seem to have some semblance of anonymity. But I was rather young to have a bestseller, let alone so many other books that were popular.

After my most recent novel became a bestseller, all my previous hardback releases were re-released as paperbacks. To massive sales success.

My literary agent was good, I had to give her that. I smiled at my assessment. Angela and I had grown up together in the small northwestern town of Forks, Washington.

I was, and, as she so lovingly would tell you even today, I am a bookworm.

When we'd been in high school she'd wanted to be a teacher. But after spending so much time with me and ending up at the same university in Chicago, we both went after degrees in English Literature.

We'd both wanted to start working for the same publisher but she ended up becoming a very successful and sought after agent while I… Well, I ended up going back to Forks and marrying my high school sweetheart, Jacob Black.

We'd known each other while growing up in Forks since Charlie, my dad, and Jake's dad spent almost every weekend fishing together. Which of course brought us together almost every weekend too.

However, when I left for college, we mutually decided to break things off romantically and stay in touch through e-mails and phone calls. We did o.k. with that arrangement for the first two years of my college career. Then we drifted apart and I dug into my passion for writing.

When I graduated, I decided it would be best to head home 'for a little while.' Angela was disappointed of course. I argued that it would give me the opportunity to start writing in earnest.

At least, that's what I told myself at the time. I know better now. I'd basically been scared of being almost completely on my own for the first time in my life. So, I did what you're never, ever supposed to do.

I made a major life-altering decision based on fear.

While I'd still been in college, I had started writing and getting some of my short stories published. When I moved back to my childhood home with my father after my graduation, I began my attempt at writing my first novel.

Charlie's the Chief of Police for the small town of Forks. It's small and very quiet. And a little bit removed from 'big city' problems for the most part. Needless to say, my dad didn't have a demanding job because of it. However, he and his solitary deputy were busy enough that they needed help at the station. So, I ended up working part time there to help him out and give myself a little bit of cash flow.

I wasn't really into the whole 'starving artist' thing.

I also reconnected with Jacob and thought I'd fallen in love all over again.

We got married within six months of my return to Forks.

For several years it was absolute bliss. Like being married to your best friend and confidante, who's a guy and not gay. It was great.

Until we wanted to start having children.

After almost a year, we flipped a coin to see who would go to the doctor first. We were young and it didn't seem like it should be that difficult to get pregnant.

Jake lost the coin toss.

However, it turned out he was fine. So, I went to see my doctor. Then a fertility specialist. Then several other doctors… No one seemed to be able to figure out what was wrong with me.

After three tries with several different fertility drugs and six miscarriages, I couldn't do it anymore.

We had begun to fight. A lot. I of course had stopped writing.

We talked about adopting. We went to marriage counseling. For some reason, that seemed to make things worse. Jacob refused to continue to go to the counseling sessions and refused to continue to discuss adoption.

He started making me feel like I was defective, to the point where I agreed to an experimental Canadian procedure for women who were able to get pregnant but unable to stay that way.

To say it was a disaster would be a grave understatement. I ended up in the hospital for over a month and still had not even gotten pregnant.

While I was recovering, I had a major setback that almost killed me. The doctors were forced to remove part my uterus—a 'subtotal hysterectomy.' I would now be unable to ever get pregnant, to ever have children… I was devastated.

As scary as that was, as terrified as I felt, nothing could have prepared me for what awaited me when I finally got home.

It seems that there had been a reason for Jacob's disinterest in counseling and adopting. He hadn't been able to deal with me having so much trouble and being unable to get pregnant. He tried to tell me later that he was devastated about the entire situation and that he felt responsible for my infertility, since he'd been the one to push for the surgery in the first place…

It was how he dealt with his guilt and pain that was the end for us.

He had been seeing his old girlfriend and had gotten her pregnant. She was a member of the same Native American Indian Tribe that Jacob was. They weren't really in love but I couldn't continue to be married to someone who had cheated on me.

Even though he told me he was still in love with me.

Especially since she had given him the one thing I couldn't.

And I was devastated for a second time.

His family basically disowned him for his treatment of me but I could have almost forgive him. He'd wanted children so badly and I had simply been unable to give him that one thing.

But… It was too much. Even though I knew at some point in the future I'd be able to forgive him, I'd never be able to fully trust him again.

I moved back in with Charlie and finished my first novel. It was published several months later to lukewarm reviews. My agent? You guessed it—Angela Weber—now Angela Cheney.

Angela convinced me that it wasn't my best effort, that I could do so much better. Yes, she was my agent by this point but she was also my best friend. She of course knew all about the drama that became my life with Jacob. She also knew what I needed to do and was a good enough friend to tell me so.

I needed a major change of scenery.

I had to admit that I didn't think I could do my best writing in my childhood home anymore. Never mind the whole 'living in a small town with your ex' scene. Can you say awkward? Ugh.

She had of course gotten married by this point and had two children. Twins. She invited me to move back out to Chicago and live in her old downtown condominium now that she and her family had purchased a house in the suburbs.

Her husband Ben was a software engineer and with both their salaries, they were quite well off and were willing to have me pay only for utilities. It was a fantastic opportunity to attempt to become a full-time author without having to hold down a 'regular' job. And it had the added benefit of taking me far, far away from Washington state. Ben was enthusiastic about someone staying in their condo, since it had been unoccupied for quite a while and they didn't really want to sell it in the current real estate market.

My dad and I weren't super close but we seemed to connect after my divorce from Jacob. After I'd moved, we spoke over the phone at least every other weekend.

I knew that Jake had been like a son to him. Up until his betrayal of me… I figured they wouldn't be taking any fishing trips together after the divorce, which I was grateful for. It had been hard on my dad and his friendship with Jake's dad, Billy, too. But it seemed to almost be a relief to everyone involved that I'd decided to move away.

With Angela's guidance, I ended up getting two more mediocre novels published before I hit the big time.

I ended up with my bestseller by writing about a fictional character, a woman scorned by her husband, her family, and even her own body. Women all over the U.S. and then Europe were enthralled with it.

It was, of course, a fictionalized account of my experiences with Jacob. Jake's family knew right away and they were not happy about it.

But since I'd placed the story in another time and obviously didn't use anyone's actual name, nor did I tell anyone that it was based on personal experiences, no one was the wiser.

It also helped that I was practically on the other side of the country from everyone that knew me personally—other than Angela of course.

However it didn't stop Jake's new wife from attempting to go after me for some kind of 'intellectual property infringement.' Yeah. Good luck with that.

It was thrown out since I had written the story so many years after our divorce. Jake also wasn't entitled to any of the revenue generated from any of my other books since he had not contested the divorce. I have to say that I was not heartbroken to hear from Charlie that Jacob had real problems with Leah after she'd tried to go after me like that. Can you say, 'payback?'

Health severely jeopardized by age 24? Check.

Messy divorce by age 25? Check.

Successful author by age 29? Check.

Becoming the wealthiest ex-Forks' resident under 30 (much to the annoyance of my ex-husband's new wife)?

Freakin' priceless.

Now, here I was, heading to my very own English country cottage. The land of Austen and Bronte. Of Shakespeare and Dickens. I was extremely excited and nervous all at once.

I was without worry regarding a job (remember: super successful author), I didn't really have to concern myself with the passage of time (except to eventually start work on my next novel), or worry about dealing with an angry or confused ex-husband's wife or ex-family members since I'd be half a world away from them.

Priceless indeed.

I had been to England before since part of my last year of college was spent studying abroad, London in fact. Since my major was English Literature, it only made sense to spend that time in England. So, I did.

But this would be fulfilling a dream, living in the English countryside, experiencing it for myself and comparing those experiences with ones that my favorite authors had described so beautifully.

I could just live in peace and quiet for as long as I wanted to. I knew Angela expected me to start on my next novel after a discreet amount of time relaxing but I just wasn't in any hurry.

I wanted to do something that I had never done before, not even when I'd gone to college or when I'd moved into her condo.

I wanted to enjoy being completely on my own and living in my own skin, without the approval or scrutiny of anyone else.

Quietly.

Peacefully.

Alone.

Just me and the English rain, hedgerows, village markets… Ahhh. I just couldn't wait. And in another six hours, I wouldn't have to wait any longer.

~~:::~~

A/N = Wow. My first Chappie. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo excited! Next Chap will be up later today. Thx for reading and please let me know what you think about my writing via a Review. :)