Disclaimer: I do not and never shall own Vampire Diaries or any characters related to it.

There's Only So Much That I Can Take

[Damon's POV]

Fire. It used to look alive. Full of flickering, white hot flames, passion interwoven within every lick of the blazing heat. I had nearly come to die in a fire many a time. But that didn't stop me from admiring how each flame rose and fell, a hypnotic image that promises both peace and death.

I blinked. I was sitting on the floor. My back leaned heavily at the foot of the one-seat sofa, my right knee brought up to my chest. I stared listlessly at what I once thought to be a bright, warm glow before me. What I now thought only a cold, harsh flame. The heat that it emitted seemed to sear itself right through me, seeking to reach my left foot which was dangerously close.

I almost wanted it to. No, I did want it to. I wanted it all to end. What was the point of living? What was the point when everything and everyone I cared for either left me, or betrayed me?

Rose... She understood me. She offered me her friendship. I took it. She gave me a reason to move forward bravely, a new resolution in how to live my life. Maybe all this suffering wasn't necessary. Maybe, one day, others wouldn't be the one leaving me. If anyone had to leave, it would be me instead.

But then, she left me too.

And I didn't know what to do.

[Stefan's POV]

Stefan, he looked as if he was going to break apart. Like even the slightest nudge would break him completely... I looked at his eyes, Stefan. I-I didn't see any life in them. Not sadness. Not even anger. It was empty.

When I hugged him, he didn't even respond.

I frowned, tangible lines creasing my forehead. Elena's voice ricocheted within the confines of my mind incessantly. Was it even possible? Damon had gone through more than a century without getting close to anyone. Well, not anyone that I know of. Most of the people he ever came in contact with were never seen again.

That was why I found it hard to trust him. He was too unpredictable. I could never know what he would do next.

I stopped pacing my room and sighed, brushing a hand through my hair in indecision. I was afraid, I knew. Not for what Damon might do, but for him.

Elena's last statement rebounded against the seams of mind again.

He looked like he wanted to die.

I closed my eyes. I knew what I had to do.

I found him, Damon Salvatore, my blood brother, sitting on the floor before the small sofa. Relief flooded my senses. He was okay. At least I hoped he was.

"Damon?" I called out tentatively.

I waited, tense. Despite the constant rifts between us, I knew that, when Damon was upset, he was upset upset. He tended to do stupid things, foolish even. Just to make himself feel better. Or maybe he didn't even know why. I honestly didn't know which.

Damon could be holding a stake to my chest in a second. Maybe less. Just because he was provoked. But, at the very least, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. Not permanently.

I took in a deep breath. "Damon," I called, this time louder and firmer.

He didn't even move. Like he hadn't even heard me. Which was impossible; he was a vampire.

I cautiously moved towards him. When I stood before him, I finally understood what Elena meant. He looked...dead. There was nothing else that could describe him. A far off look was evident in his ocean blue eyes, but other than that, there was nothing. In a flash, I was bending down right next to him.

Without thinking, I placed my hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently. "Damon."

No response. I shook harder. "Damon."

This time, he blinked and slowly turned towards me. Confusion welled in his blue orbs before plain recognition replaced it. He shrugged my hand off.

"Stefan," he muttered stiffly. "What are you doing here?"

Both of us stood and were on the opposite ends of the room. I hadn't even moved.

"Damon," I began. "I heard about Rose-"

"Did you now?" my brother interrupted, a look of pure fury veiled in his ocean orbs. "So what do you wanna hear? Want me to tell you the whole story again?"

"Damon-"

"Well! Rose was bitten by a werewolf to save my pathetic ass, there was no cure and she died. End of story. Happy now? Are you satisfied?" Damon continued as if I hadn't spoken, his voice harsh and bitter.

I frowned. Why was he mad with me? Then again, he always was. "Damon..."

"What? Not satisfied yet? Well, brother, I won't allow you the luxury of that satisfaction. I did not care about Rose. She could die all the bloody times she wants, and I wouldn't care." He took a deep breath, shooting a piercing glare at me.

I pursed my lips. "No, you do care, Damon. Or you wouldn't be like this."

"What do you know?" Damon growled, his voice nearly a shout. "What do you know about me, little brother? You don't know anything. So shut. The. Hell. Up."

I stared at him unwaveringly. I was taken aback by his words. I didn't think that he would be this mad. Upset. Seeing him like this, all the more I couldn't leave him.

"Damon, stop this-"

"You stop this! Stop all of your ridiculous blabbering and leave me alone!"

Damon was near-insane. I could tell.

"Damon-"

Suddenly, I found myself slammed right into the wall. Pain shot through my back and I winced. Damon's face was inches away from mine. A look of pure, unadulterated hatred and anger dominated his features as he breathed heavily on my face.

"Get out of my sight, before I make you disappear off the face of this Earth," he hissed. "Permanently."

I narrowed my eyes. "Damon, what is wrong with you?"

I was slammed into the wall again, this time harder.

"Which part of my words do you not understand?" He growled, a menacing edge creeping into his voice. "Tell me, Stefan. What is it that you want from me? Do you want me to go on my knees and beg you to leave? Is that what it takes?" His voice rose an octave higher.

"What are you talking about? I never wanted that!" Indignation flared through my entire being. Yes, there points in my life where I wanted to drive a stake through his heart with my very own hands, but I never meant any of it. Ever.

An insane smirk crossed my brother's features, his eyes gleamed. He placed his mouth right next to my ear. "Then what do you want, Stefan?" he whispered. "What do you want from me?"

I pushed him off of me and growled, "I don't want anything from you!"

He laughed, spreading his arms. "Really, my brother? If that was the case, why did you do this to me?" He glanced at me - no... He looked right through me. "Why?"

I stared at him, confused. "Damon?"

His stare turned hard. "Everyone I ever cared for... All of them ever only wanted you. You, Stefan Salvatore. You," he whispered bitterly. "I never once mattered."

A feeling of disbelief slammed into me as I tried to take in his words.

"You were the one who committed all those crimes, Damon. How do you expect anyone not to leave you?"

Damon dropped his gaze. "You're wrong, Stefan. Because you left me too."

A/N:

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