Hello, strangers! This was a prompt I received from a friend a few months ago. I wrote it and then sent it to her directly because I wasn't sure if anyone else would be interested in reading another early season story. But, I've not managed to finish anything else, mostly because I'm out with an injury and can't write. It's been that way for over a month now. But anyway, I decided to share anyway and hopefully a few of you will enjoy it. Thanks for reading!
He'd had a feeling that the damn RV wasn't gonna make it too far but he hadn't bothered voicing any of this. No one would have listened to him any damn way so there really hadn't been a point. All it would have accomplished would have been another reason for him to tell the whole lot of them "I told you so". So he had shaken his head and followed them out, waiting for it to take a crap and put them all in harms way.
The rest of them were gathered around discussing what to do about the situation while he stayed on the fringes of the group, watching, waiting for them to come up with something they all deemed sensible, even if it really wasn't.
The woman stayed close to the girl, her arm around her, her eyes flitting, always on the lookout for danger. When she looked up and met his eyes he dropped his head and walked off a little bit further, the blood rushing to his face, staining his neck and causing his ears to burn.
God, he had been so fucking stupid. So incredibly stupid. He had drank too damn much back at the CDC. The alcohol, the promise of a new start in a relatively safe place, the thought of a real future, no matter how flimsy, had put all of them in a strange place in their heads.
He had never acted like that in his fucking life and the one time that he did, it had to be her he had set his sights on. It had to be her that he decided to lose all of his inhibitions with. He had been bold, completely unashamed in his advances and she had complied, to his surprise. In hind sight he cringed just thinking about it. Because that was all it had been. Compliance. She'd basically given him permission to use her, and at the time he hadn't realized that that was what she had been doing. Not exactly participating, but allowing it to happen regardless.
Jesus, he felt bad. So fucking bad.
But that's what he had done. Wordlessly she had lead him to a corner in a dark room and allowed him to do what he wanted. He'd been clumsy, thoughtless, driven by a need that he hadn't even known had been simmering. He knew she hadn't exactly enjoyed it either, which only made it worse. Definitely not one of his few shining moments.
But he remembered things now that hadn't really registered to him at the time. Her body, which she hid well under shapeless clothes, was riddled with scars. And today, he was afraid. He was afraid because he wasn't sure if she only let him do what he had done because she had been afraid he would hurt her if she hadn't. It was glaringly fucking obvious that she was accustomed to pain, had endured more than her share of it, and the thought of her thinking that he would have forced her if she had refused made him sick to his stomach and made his head throb.
"Daryl?"
The sound of her soft voice speaking his name had him flinching and he was afraid to turn around because if their were accusations in her eyes then it would kill him. "Yeah?" he asked, looking off to the side, pretending that there was something very interesting over there so he didn't have to face her. He wasn't a monster. He knew he wasn't and he wouldn't ever hurt her, he knew that too, but did she think that he was? Did she think...
"They want to start looking through cars. Might find something useful."
Her voice didn't sound accusing. Maybe a little unsure, but not accusing, so he turned around, his hand gripping the strap to his bow so hard that had his nails not been chewed off he would have punctured the leather.
Her eyes were clear, bright, reflecting the sun. There were spots of color high on her cheeks and her hands fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, but she didn't look at him like she was scared and she didn't seem to want to run for the hills. This was good. This was a good thing because she needed to know that it wasn't only the wine. It hadn't just been that. The wine had only given him the courage to act. Well, the wine had caused him to act an ass, but it had still given him the courage to go to her.
Since the moment he had seen her for the first time he had felt some sort of pull. He had felt something familiar in her gaze, had felt a connection to her and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. Not once had he been able to get her out of his mind.
"Shouldn't you go lookin' then?" he asked, unable to think of anything else to say to her. Knowing he should. There was a lot that needed to be said but there was no way he could say them. Not now. Maybe never.
She looked down, nodding slightly. "I just thought I'd let you know what they wanted to do."
She took off before he had time to say anything else and it was just as well because, Lord help him, he seemed to do nothing but fuck up when he spoke to her.
He wasn't sure what he was suppose to be looking for but he started looking anyway. He would know if something was useful if he found it so he started his search. Other than glancing to make sure no walkers were heading his way, he kept his head down and minded his own damn business. He should have known that he would find himself close to her, even if being close to her hadn't been his plan. He walked past her as she went through the trunk of one of the cars with Lori, glancing over to make sure she was alright, which made no sense because it wasn't like the place was very dangerous at the moment.
He decided that since the women were rummaging through the trunk he may as well go through the back of the same car. Save time. That was the only reason.
The back of the car was empty and the front didn't look any better so he was about to move on when he glanced back, just to see if they were done with the trunk. Carol was holding up a red dress a small smile on her face as her hand ran over the material. He couldn't help but smile a little, just because he hadn't ever seen her really take interest in anything like that. When her quiet voice mentioned her dead husband not allowing her to wear anything like that, his smile froze and then melted, more guilt filling him.
The next thing that met his ears was Lori's stinging remark over Carol's interest in the dress. Instantly she pulled the dress away, looking embarrassed at herself and clearly wishing she had never committed what Lori obviously viewed as a tasteless crime. There was something about the look on Carol's face that had his temper flaring and before he even knew what he was doing his feet were carrying him to the back of the car.
"What the hell is your problem?" he snapped, his eyes narrowed to slits as he glowered at Lori.
Her lips thinned in a disapproving line. "Excuse me?" It was a look she had reserved for Merle and him from the get go.
"You wanna tell me why you're actin' like you're standin' on some kind of moral high ground? It's a goddamn dress for fucks sake. If she wants it, there ain't nothin' wrong with that." He shook his head, his brows going up as his voice dropped. "What, you think her takin' a dead woman's dress makes her worse than a person that'd get plowed by her husband's partner before she even knows if his body is cold?"
Lori paled, her dark eyes flitting around to make sure no one else had heard him. Instead of replying to him she looked at Carol, opening her mouth to say something but as far as he was concerned, she'd said enough.
"Nah, you said your peace. She put it back, now leave her the hell alone. Go try to make somebody else feel like shit just so you can get your kicks."
Lori did just that, throwing him a look that told him that she wished he'd taken a seat of his own at the CDC but he didn't care. He didn't like the woman. He'd walked up on her with her naked bony ass in the air several times, Shane sweating like a boar behind her. He wasn't fond of either of them.
He finally glanced at Carol but she was still looking down, her body tense and he realized that his outburst had probably reminded her of something Ed would have done. He was starting to think that he wasn't going to be able to win with this woman, and for some reason, this fact bothered the hell out of him. Maybe he should have minded his own business but he hadn't been able to do that. Maybe he wasn't anything like Ed but he did have a temper and Lori really didn't have any business passing any kind of judgment on anybody else. She was the worst kind of woman in his opinion.
"I better go check up on Sophia," Carol said, her eyes never raising to meet his. He didn't blame her. Her body was still tense as she headed away and he felt his shoulders slump. He definitely should have handled that better. He glanced down into the trunk before moving on to another vehicle and spotted the garment that had caused the whole stink.
He looked around, making sure no one was watching and then he grabbed the dress and shoved it into his pack. He couldn't explain, not even to himself, why he cared so goddamn much. It wasn't because of what had happened the night before. No, because he had been feeling this way since meeting her. It was one of the reasons he hadn't given in and let his brother rob the group blind yet. It was one of the reasons he went on so many hunts. He hadn't wanted to see her, knowing what was happening to her, and not being able to do anything about it.
But there was really no way to avoid her now. He couldn't just take off into the woods to get away from her and the weird fucking feelings she evoked in him because he didn't trust that the group wouldn't pull up stakes and take off without him. And even though he wanted to run from feelings that he didn't understand, he sure as hell wasn't willing to stay away forever.
~H~
Carol ran her fingers through her daughter's hair, smoothing it down as best she could. They had gone through the cars while the others worked on fixing the RV and Shane had even discovered a truck filled with fresh drinking water. They had found some essentials also, tools and weapons, basic medical supplies and clothes.
Her face flushed when she remembered the look on Lori's face when she had held up that stupid dress. She hadn't even considered it at the time but Lori had a point. It wasn't like they were browsing at a rummage sale. They were going through the belongings of people that had been killed and she shouldn't have looked at it any other way.
And then of course, Daryl Dixon had made his presence known and even the thought of him had her face flaming red. Everything that had happened since they had fled the CDC had kept her mind preoccupied but now that everything had settled down a bit, she had time to think about what they had done and she was embarrassed. She hadn't had an excuse because she hadn't been drunk. She had barely had any wine at all but she had been more than willing to have sex with him. She had no idea what had gotten into her.
She had actually been looking for a book to settle down with when he had found her. She had been watching him the whole night, marveling at how boisterous he became the more wine he consumed. He had been quiet, stoic, ever since finding out his brother had been left in Atlanta and seeing him cut loose a little bit had been nice.
She had been walking back to her room, book in hand, when he had nearly stumbled into her when she rounded the corner. He had quickly steadied her, apologizing even though she hadn't been paying much attention herself, but when he didn't drop his hands from her waist her heart had nearly lurched out of her chest.
Fear was her first reaction. She knew he had a temper. It hadn't been long since she had seen him throw dead squirrels at someone, but the fear abated when she finally looked up and met his stare. It wasn't anger brewing behind his eyes at all, but what she did see threw her for a loop. It was lust. And she was just Carol. There wasn't anything worth lusting after. But he had pulled her body a little closer to his, nervously licking his lips, his eyes imploring.
She had known right then what he wanted. She also knew that he wouldn't take it unless she offered it willingly, so she had grabbed his hand, hoped that she was reading him right, and lead him to a storage room a little further down the hall. She found a suitable corner and when she had turned he was all over her.
His hands, rough and clumsy but determined tore at the robe she had found just as his mouth had crashed into hers. She had relented, kissing him back but she was so out of practice and still more than a little shocked. She was sure she had bit his lip but he hadn't minded much. Ever since him and his brother had come to their camp she had been drawn to him for some reason. Reasons that she still couldn't explain, so she justified her actions in her mind, telling herself that he must have felt the same way. Never before had she been so willing to give herself up to a man but that was exactly all she had done.
He sure hadn't wasted any time getting her out of her clothes and somehow they had ended up on the cold floor of the room. He hadn't been rough with her, which she was grateful, but for a man that paid such close attention to detail, he hadn't been very efficient either. He hadn't even bothered taking his shirt off, just tearing his belt open and moving enough to free himself from the confines of his pants. That was when she had frozen up and he hadn't even noticed.
It would have been good, she supposed, if he hadn't been so drunk and eager but her nerves had kicked up, old insecurities rushing to the surface of her mind and there was no way she could have relaxed and just enjoyed the moment for what it was. What if Ed had been right? What if she was no good at this? What if he got angry at her? So, instead of enjoying the moment for what it was, she had let her fears keep her from even trying.
She hated that too because she knew that he woke up regretting it, knew that he could barely even look at her now, knew that he wished he had ran into someone else in that damn hallway.
"Hey."
She stiffened and then looked up at the sound of his voice and for a brief moment his gaze held hers but all too soon flicked away towards the trees.
"Figured I'd let you know I was gonna hunt. They found enough food for a decent meal when they looked through the cars but if I can add to it then it'll help." He adjusted the bow on his back. "You think you can keep'em from pulling up stakes and headin' out without me?"
"That's probably a good idea. Be careful out there," she said, hoping he would listen because she needed him to come back. "And they wouldn't do that." Did he really think they would just leave him? "They all know that no one can provide for this group the way you can."
His face flushed and he looked away, like her words had brought him up short but he finally nodded. When Sophia spoke up it surprised them both.
"Can I go?" the girl asked, taking a tentative step away from Carol.
Daryl's brows furrowed for a few seconds as he stared at Sophia but then his face smoothed. "I don't think your mom wants you traipsin' through the woods with them things wonderin' around."
Sophia looked up at her from over her shoulder. "Mom? Maybe he can show me how to catch food too. He's the only one out of all of us that knows how."
"Sophia maybe you should-"
"She's got a point," he said suddenly, finally holding her gaze.
"What?" Carol asked, shocked.
He shrugged. "The girl's soft, scared of everything, and that's gonna get her hurt eventually. If she's got the spine to wanna learn then who the hell are you to tell her no?"
"I'm her mother. Telling her no is something I'm actually quite good at," she said, her chest tightening at the thought of her little girl out there with only one person to protect her.
"You're her mom," he agreed, "So you already know that she needs to toughen up. She knows it."
Carol felt a bead of sweat slide between her shoulder blades and a sick feeling caused her stomach to roll at the thought of her daughter being away from her. But he had a point. If anyone of them could show the little girl anything that could save her, it would be him. Ans didn't the girl deserve that? What he was offering to do could eventually save Sophia's life. "Are you sure?"
He nodded swiftly.
"Please don't let anything happen to her," she said, swallowing hard and seriously thinking about changing her mind.
To her surprise the corner of his mouth came up. "Trust me, I won't." He looked down at Sophia, who looked as nervous as Carol felt. "You got a weapon?"
Sophia shook her head, her eyes wide as she watched him.
He bent down, pulling up one pant leg and removing a long blade from inside his boot. Without a word he clipped the sheathe onto Sophia's pocket and then took a step back, tilting his head to the side and regarding the girl critically. "That'll do for now."
Sophia ran her hand over the warn leather before looking up at Carol. The decision to let her go was easier when Carol saw the look in her daughter's eyes. For the first time in a long time she saw something that she never thought she would. In that wide eyed gaze that she adored so much, she saw something new. She saw hope.
"I won't let anything happen to her, alright?"
She looked up, saw the sincerity in his eyes and knew that he meant what he said. She nodded then. "I trust you."
Another beat passed before he looked away. He looked a little surprised at her words. Without a backward glance the two of them headed for the trees, leaving Carol standing by the guard rail watching.