Rating: T
Pairings: OC(Alex)/Rodney, Teyla/Ronon
Summary:
Disclaimer: I own none of the Stargate Characters. I do own Alex.
Authors Notes: This is a response to the 100 First Lines challenge on the When Plot Bunnies Attack Forum.
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"No you can't have sugar," said Alex Ramsey, Atlantis' head chef,
"Why the hell not" yelled Dr Rodney McKay "I need sugar I'm hypoglycaemic I must have sugar, don't you understand I must have sugar"
"I understand perfectly Rodney but you can't have any because we've run out, you can have sweetener if you want because everybody else is using it" Alex replied.
"Sweetener! SWEETNER! I can't use that I'm hypoglycaemic I need sugar S.U.G.A.R" Rodney said
"Rodney you can't have what we haven't got, the Daedalus is a few days late that's all, eat some more fruit that peachy type fruit that Teyla got for us is really sweet, lots of natural sugar in that" Alex replied as Rodney stomped off.
Alex sighed, this was becoming more commonplace since the Daedalus had reported they had been sabotaged and they were waiting for the Asgard to complete their supply run. People were getting stroppy, first the alcohol ran out and Radek had been threatened with physical violence unless he got his still out of mothballs and start brewing his moonshine again. Then the milk ran out so cereal was off the menu, which upset John Sheppard and the visiting General Jack O'Neill when they couldn't get their Froot Loops. To prove a point O'Neill spent half an hour opening the little milk portions that people used in tea and coffee, by the time he had finished he wasn't hungry anymore. Alex was rationing the coffee and kept it under lock and key in her quarters due to the last three hiding places being found by the scientists, also, she had not wanted to pay the price Major Lorne was asking to keep a guard on the storeroom. Now the sugar had run out, she had sweetener but it wasn't doing the trick, it wasn't easy to cook with and people just didn't like it, she needed to talk to Teyla about a trading expedition that didn't involve John Sheppard. Supplies would be so much easier if SGA-1 didn't screw up eighty percent of their trading trips, Alex couldn't count the amount of times she'd been promised a new batch of supplies only to be told that Sheppard and co had come through the gate, under fire, again.
Alex found Teyla in the gym with Ronon
"Hi guys, can I have a word" she said, Teyla and Ronon stopped sparring
"Of course, what can we do for you?" said Teyla.
"We need supplies desperately, we're out of sugar now and it's only a matter of time before we run out of coffee, when that happens I'm going to get lynched, can you arrange a trading trip...um...without Colonel Sheppard or Dr McKay" Alex replied
"I am not sure if we can go without them," said Teyla
"Please Teyla, tell Dr Weir you're negotiating on behalf of the Athosians or something and you can do a deal for Atlantis at the same time because there's going to be a riot soon if we don't find a coffee and sugar substitute" Alex said
"I know a planet where they have something similar to your coffee, we could start there" said Ronon. Alex could have kissed Ronon there and then but she couldn't reach and kissing his chest wouldn't have the same effect.
"Brilliant and is there any chance of getting more of those soft peachy type fruits, they're really sweet maybe there's some way to get sugar from those" replied Alex, Teyla smiled
"I will see what I can do," she said. Alex bounced from one foot to the other
"Thank you, thank you, you two are life savers" she said as she left, Teyla looked at each other and shrugged, they were used to seeing the chef screaming abuse at anyone who go in her way.
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Atlantis was buzzing as Teyla, Alex and Ronon had managed to secure some supplies of a coffee substitute, some fruit to make sugar with and some milk, the difficult bit was going to be extracting the sugar from the fruit.
"Hi Rodney, you wanted me" said Alex with a grin, Rodney sighed she always greeted him with a double entendre
"One of these days..." he muttered
"I'll be waiting with knees...erm...so what do you want?" she asked
"Have you got one of those thermometers, my grandma had one she used when she was making fudge" he replied
"Oh a sugar thermometer, yeah I've got one somewhere, do you need it now?" she asked
"Not right now, in an hour or so" he said
"Ok, I'll be back then" she replied.
An hour later Alex arrived in the lab more curious than ever. Every so often scientists would turn up at the kitchen asking for various pieces of equipment and being very evasive when asked what it was for.
"Hey Rodney how're they hanging" Alex said
"Hot and heavy if you want to look" he replied, Alex burst out laughing
"Rodney! You dirty little genius you" she handed over the thermometer "I take it this is what you wanted", she said
"Yes this is it, brilliant," he said as he put the thermometer into a small pan that had something bubbling away in it.
"Wow that smells gorgeous, mmm just like our kitchen when my mum's making Jam, so what is it you're actually doing, separating the fructose from the flesh?" Rodney gaped at her "What? I'm not as green as I'm cabbage looking you know" she said with a grin. Rodney smiled
"It does smell good doesn't it, what we've done is extracted the sugar by crushing the fruit flesh and boiling the syrup to get rid of the water" he said. Alex leant over Rodney's shoulder to have a look at the thermometer,
"What are you hoping will happen I don't think it will crystallise, fructose usually ends up as syrup," she said. Rodney looked at her again "I'm not a complete idiot you know"
"I never said you were, I think it's almost ready, just need to take it off and let it cool down" said Rodney, he looked at Alex noting that her shirt was a bit lower cut than she usually wore it. "That reminds me, when are you going to put dumplings on the menu again?", Alex laughed, if she wasn't mistaken he was leering at her. She shook her head slightly, it was spinning like she'd had a couple of glasses of wine, not drunk but merry,
"You can have them any time you want darling" she replied with a wink, Rodney chuckled
"Mmm I might have to help myself later". 'When did we turn into Sid James and Barbara Windsor' thought Alex as she giggled 'and why am I flirting with Rodney' "what's so funny?" he asked
"When did this turn into Carry On Atlantis? you never use double entendres," she said
"You do it, I thought it was about time I had a little fun too" he replied with a grin. Alex grinned back
"Fun eh? don't you think you ought to finish your experiment first?" she replied as he chuckled
"Spoilsport" he replied. Alex gingerly dipped her little finger into the syrup, which wasn't too hot now and tasted it
"Ohh that's nice" she dipped her finger in further and licked, a little suggestively "mmm, it's like...honey...and a little ginger, it's nice you have got to try it," she said as she dipped her finger in again "last time I promise". Rodney grabbed her hand and sucked the syrup off her finger, Alex's stomach flipped, who knew McKay sucking her finger would make her melt into a puddle of wanton mush. She pulled her finger out of Rodney's mouth and kissed him, tasting the syrup on his lips as he ran his hands over her ass. The sensible part of her mind questioned why she was snogging her sworn enemy but the lust-addled part of her mind didn't care
"Rodney, do you think the syrup's ok to use" Alex asked between kisses, Rodney's eyes gleamed, he let her go and poured some of the syrup into a glass container, grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the lab
"I've got a much better use for it" he replied, Alex chuckled
"Oh goody" she said.
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As soon as the jumper landed, Teyla hit the ground running. She had received word from Halling saying that there was an urgent message from one of their trading partners waiting for her, after she'd digested the message she returned to Atlantis at top speed to stop Dr McKay's experiment with the fruit. She rounded a corner and ran slap bang into Ronon.
"Ronon, where is Dr McKay?" she gasped
"In his lab I think, he and Alex the chef were experimenting with the fruit, they were trying to make sugar" he replied,
"On no I think we maybe too late," she said as she ran off with Ronon following. They ran into the lab to find it empty
"Oh dear I am too late to warn him" said Teyla wringing her hands. Ronon wandered over to the bench where Rodney had been working and peered into the pan,
"This must be the sugar they were trying to produce," he said as he dipped his finger in and licked the syrup off "It's nice, try some". Teyla looked up as his words registered
"No Ronon, don't...oh dear...oh my...um..." she stammered as she saw the lustful look in Ronon's eye. He came towards her and dabbed a little of the syrup on her lip, she stuck out her tongue to catch a drip as it threatened to run down her chin and then licked the rest off her lips,
"You really didn't know that cooking the fruit at this time of year turns it into an aphrodisiac?" she shook her head "and you call yourself a negotiator" he said with a chuckle. Teyla smiled a come-hither smile
"Do you think that Dr McKay and Alex sampled the syrup?" she asked. Ronon bent down and picked up an item of clothing that had fallen under the bench"
"Looks like it" he replied as he threw the garment over his shoulder, lifted Teyla off her feet and kissed her. Teyla wrapped her arms around his neck and let lust and passion take over.
"I don't think we should leave that syrup here, we must tell Dr Weir that it cannot be used as sugar" said Teyla when she'd finished kissing Ronon, he dropped her on her feet and picked up the container
"I agree but we'll tell her tomorrow, or the next day," he said as he grabbed her by the hand.
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A few days later a sheepish looking Rodney and Alex confessed that the syrup they got from the fruit couldn't be used by the people on Atlantis but the two of them plus Ronon and Teyla were often seen in the kitchen late at night.
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AN: I know this isn't one of my best but I had to get it out of my system.
Sid James and Barbara Windsor are stalwarts of the Carry On films
I have no idea how to extract fructose from fruit and from what I have seen on the supermarket shelves fructose only comes in syrup form.