Spider in the Bath

Picture the scene: Ron walks into the bathroom and is preparing to get into the bath when he notices that it is already occupied by something less than welcome. Because I'm the author, and I say so, Ron doesn't run screaming but instead, bursts into song…

I like augereys and I like cats,

I like leprechauns and rats,

Talking to a werewolf is much easier than 'that' (snaps his fingers).

Being friendly to the animals is easy.

I've a family ghoul in the atic upstairs.

He makes a lot of noise but I'm never ever scared.

I even had a puffskein 'til Fred hit it through the air.

Being friendly to the animals is easy.

But a spider in the bath, a spider in the bath,

A creepy crawly, creepy crawly spider in the bath,

I know he's only there because he wants to have a laugh,

But with hairy legs and beady eyes he's terrifying, tantalising.

Spider in the bath, a spider in the bath,

A creepy crawly, creepy crawly spider in the bath,

I know he's only there because he wants to have a laugh,

I thought I'd put him down the drain but now he's climbing up the chain!

Spider in the bath.

I like unicorns and I like demiguise,

I'll take a niffler at any price!

I've even heard the kelpies can be quite nice,

Being friendly to the animals is easy.

I like firecrabs and giant-snails,

I like a salamander with a very long tail,

I'll even go riding on a sea-serpents tail,

Being friendly to the animals is easy.

But a spider in the bath, a spider in the bath,

A creepy crawly, creepy crawly spider in the bath,

I know he's only there because he wants to have a laugh,

But with hairy legs and beady eyes he's terrifying, tantalising.

Spider in the bath, a spider in the bath,

A creepy crawly, creepy crawly spider in the bath,

I know he's only there because he wants to have a laugh,

I thought I'd put him down the drain but now he's climbing up the chain!

Spider in the bath.

I've a horrible feeling that the spider's still there,

He's hiding in the bathroom and I don't know where,

But bath time's over now so I don't care…

… I thought I'd put him down the drain but now he's climbing up the chain!

Spiders, YUCK!

Authors Notes:- This is based on the song 'Spider in the Bath' from the BBC television program, Spider!

I absolutely loved this song as a child and still listen to it now (I know, I really should get a life!).