Night Before Eternity: The Dance
Botan's POV
The night is perfect, silver whisps of omnipresent clouds shroud the sky, veiling the full moon, and directing more attention to the glowing silver splinters that hung in the sky. There's a calm spring breeze drifting through the air, a pleasant addition to a mild night. There's beautiful music floating on the breeze, wafting gently around the premises, its faint melodic tunes coursing over my body.
I guess I should be happy. The night is perfect, saying any less would be insulting. But, I'm not happy. Because it's finally happening. I suppose it's been long since over-due, but I still wish I wasn't here to witness it. Well, it's not really happening until tomorrow, but tonight, my discomfort is already at its epitome.
Yuusuke and Keiko are getting married.
I know they belong together; it's blaringly obvious, but now... I'm losing him forever.
I'm losing Yuusuke.
After all we've been through, how could I not have grown attached to him? We all bonded in the time we were thrown together as Koenma's band of misfits-The Reaikai Tentei-growing up together, I guess it was inevitable. But, why did I develop such strong emotions towards him?
He's a pervert, a moron, loud, rude and obnoxious... why would I feel this way?
Because he's sweet, caring, protective, loyal and strong too... I got to know that side of him, the real him.
And in turn, he has unknowingly stolen my heart, though he's giving his own away at long last.
I sigh, shaking my head as I feel dampness running down my cheeks. I brush the idle tears away and close my eyes. I don't want to be sad now, not the night before their wedding, so by closing my eyes, I won't see any of it. I'll just have to feel all of it, but it's the price I pay.
I feel a hand close gently around my shoulder and I open my eyes reflexively, only to find myself peering into the warm gaze of none other than Yuusuke himself.
"What's wrong Botan-chan?" he asked me.
"Nothing" is shake my head, trying to ignore the blush I feel rising up my cheeks.
"Really?" he asks doubtfully.
I feel his hand around my chin, and feel the trace of his skin dancing up to my cheek, "Then why are you crying?" he brushes his thumb over my dampened flesh, wiping away the residue of my pain.
"Because..." I sigh slowly, trying to maintain my composure, "Because I'm just so happy for you..."
He nods slightly and turns from me, I assume he's going to leave, going to go be with Keiko again, so I sigh and resign myself to watching the dancing couples on the floor already. Silence hovers between us, but Yuusuke isn't moving, he's just standing there, waiting I presume, for something.
The song's last wavering chord begins to play out, and Yuusuke turns back to me.
"Botan-chan, would you mind a dance?"
I can't believe his words, surely, somehow I had misheard, my mind is playing tricks on my heart that must be it.
"Well?" he asks, almost as if he wants to dance with me.
"Shouldn't you be dancing with Keiko?" I ask warily ignoring the heart pounding in my chest, and my conscience screaming at me to accept.
"I don't want to dance with Keiko now. Right now, I'm asking you. Please, Botan-chan?" He gives me a puppy dog look, and that melts my doubts away automatically.
"Fine" I sigh annoyed, even though I know well I'm lying to myself, I'm not annoyed, this is what I want more than anything, but I can't let him know that.
He gives me one of his characteristic grins, before offering me his hand. I take it and follow him to the floor.
As the new song began to play, I almost backed out; I couldn't do this, not on this song. Not on a slow song.
But as Savage Garden's "I Knew I loved You" began to waft through the air, I could feel his arms move about my waist and I knew there was no turning back. I just stood there, numbly aware of his presence, and his body so close to mine.
"Botan-chan, dance" he whispered amusedly at my stillness.
"Huh?" I muttered, "Oh, right…" I slowly slid my arms around his neck, a blush creeping to my cheeks.
We began swaying back and forth to the music slowly, moving in a small circle.
Oh Yuusuke how could you do this to me? How? You're supposed to be dancing with Keiko, she's your soon-to-be wife, what am I? I'm nothing…
"Why are you so distant, Botan-chan?" Yuusuke whispered to me, and soon thereafter, I felt his arm snake around my waist pulling me closer, and they rested in the small of my back.
The warmth of his body against mine, it was so inviting. Even though I knew better, the feeling took hold of me, and I lay my head contently on his broad shoulder. I could feel his warm breath on my neck as he gave a small chuckle.
"See Botan-chan, it's alright" he whispered.
I nodded into his shoulder, breathing a sigh of relief. He smelled so good, felt so good. Everything was just so right.
But, I knew everything was so wrong as well.
This is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! I shouldn't be dancing with him!
But, I was.
I loved being with him like this, loved dancing with him like this… I loved him.
But, I knew the feelings weren't returned, and never would be. This dance, despite how much it meant to me, it was nothing to him. All the feelings I harbored were completely one-sided. Still, he had asked me to dance, that had to mean something. I really shouldn't worry about why he had asked, the fact that he had to begin with was more than enough…
"Botan-chan? Loosen up a bit; you're so rigid, what's wrong?" I heard Yuusuke ask and I lifted my head from his shoulder to look at him.
You're wrong, I'm wrong! All of this is wrong! You shouldn't be dancing with me and I shouldn't be feeling like this! That's what's wrong!
"Nothing" I mumble quietly laying my head back on his shoulder.
He shrugs.
The breeze picks up, and washes over us causing me to shiver.
"Cold?" I hear Yuusuke ask me, but before I have time to utter a reply, his arms pull me closer to him, and I have to readjust my arms around his neck to fit the distance better.
This is wrong, I know. But, it feels so right. I can feel his heart beating slowly, almost rhythmically to the song as its chords get fainter and fainter. And the warmth his body emits envelops me, as do his strong arms wrapped around me, almost protectively.
But his strong arms will never come to my rescue.
As we continue to sway along to the song gently, the music fades out, until only we are left rotating on spot in the other's arms.
Now it's over.
I pull myself away from him and quickly turn to leave. The dance was over, it was all over.
"Thanks Botan-chan." Yuusuke called, and I turned back to him.
I nodded, "Sure. Hey, Yuusuke… why did you want to dance with me and not Keiko?" I asked, hoping that I wasn't treading on delicate territory by asking.
"Because you needed it. And I wanted it."
His eloquent words echo through my thoughts I wanted it… I wanted it…
"You mean Keiko didn't ask you to?"
"No. I just told her I was going to dance with you on this one."
I smile, knowing he had just made me feel many times better than earlier. He did care about me. In a platonic way at least, and that was somethintg.
"Thank you, Yuusuke."
He nods, "Just one more thing, Botan-chan?"
"Yeah?" I ask.
"No more tears, okay?"
He leaned down and brought his lips to my cheek in a small kiss, and pulled away again. He gave me one of his famous smiles, not the forced one, the real genuine one very few people are graced to see. Then, he turned and walked away.
"Okay…" I whisper, my hand resting on my cheek, the warmth of his lips still lingering on my flesh welcomely.
I know he doesn't feel the same, and that he never will. But, he cares. He cares enough about me as a friend that he would willingly make me feel better even if it's not his job. I love him, and he returns the emotion in a platonic light. That makes me happy. Knowing that he cares is enough. It always had been like that, and I know it will always stay like that. I would be his friend irregardless of situation.
It gives me strength in knowing that, and reassurance.
Because, now, I can finally let go of him.
---
Author's Ramblings
Well, what do you think? I threw this together pretty quickly, so it's probably not as good as my other more recent ones, but it's okay.
Before you flame me because I made this a Yuusuke/Botan fic, I reccomend you go watch the 2nd movie. In it, Botan almost dies twice, and Yuusuke comes to her aid a lot more than Keiko's when she gets herself injured. He basically ignores Keiko, and sounds on the verge of tears with Botan. So before you flame me, watch the second movie. Thanks.
All else, please feel free to leave your name at the door with a review. I know it was short and sketchy and not the best, but I hope you like it anyways. Ja
Blackrose