DO NOT FOLLOW THE RABBIT
"West? Bruder! Bruder!"
Ludwig could feel himself slowly start to come to. The thickness in his head was lessening and his vision began to sharpen. It was only when he was able to focus did he realize that he was prone on the ground, his head being both cradled and smacked at the same time.
"That was NOT awesome! Dummkopf!" It was Gilbert. Ludwig was grateful his older brother hadn't removed his helmet.
"I'm fine. You can stop slapping my head around now." Ludwig couldn't keep himself from slurring his words, but he managed to shove Gilbert's hands away and push himself up to a sitting position without throwing up.
"Out of everyone," the other man continued, "how did YOU manage to completely forget months and months of training? I'm the most awesome pilot here, don't get me wrong, but YOU are my little brother and YOU should not be making unawesome rookie mistakes."
Ludwig couldn't respond. Where there should have been righteous anger bubbling from within (he wasn't some goddamn rookie) there was only a heavy, dulling throb that only made him weary.
You knew this would be the result, the voice in his head droned. And yet, like a fool, you came back. Look at you, how strong are you now? What would he think if he saw you like this?
Feliciano.
Too soon, he thought belatedly. It was too soon. How he thought he could come back to this only weeks after-
"Hey," Gilbert barked, smacking Ludwig's helmet. "You're doing again! Come on, focus for at least five minutes so you can stand up."
That task felt a lot harder than it was. The Drivesuit was heavy, but Ludwig was a trained soldier and a strong one at that.
I haven't felt the same since-
"Come on, on your feet." Gilbert sounded less angry. Ludwig let him haul him to his feet. The nausea didn't feel any better once he was up, but he fought to keep it under control, lest he vomited while still wearing his helmet. He let himself be lead to the hatch.
"You're not ready." Said Gilbert, all anger pushed aside. "Seriously, this was not one of your brightest ideas, mein bruder."
"I'm fine." It came out half-hearted, even to Ludwig's ears.
Gilbert ignored him. "You're still grieving. It isn't a bad thing to grieve. But you cannot be in a Jaeger right now. You will be endangering me as well as yourself, and that is seriously not awesome."
"I said I'm fine." Shut up, shut up. Feliciano…
Gilbert shook his head. "No, bruder. You aren't."