Jodie was sitting on the couch watching TV, all comfy-like. I was sitting next to her on the couch, close to her. It felt good to be close to her. It always did.

Suddenly, the phone rang and she turned off the TV to answer it. I sat back, thinking it was nothing. It usually was nothing—simple as that. But after a few seconds, she sat up smiling.

"Ryan!" she said happily.

Ugh. Anyone but Ryan.

She asked about what email he had sent her.

UGH!

She looked right at the computer—that I busted three days ago—and after listening to Ryan over the phone for a few more seconds she suddenly cussed and got up from the couch. I felt a wave of dread fall over me. And then, ugh! She invited him over to our apartment for dinner. No. No, Jodie, please. Ugh! No, Jodie, not around eight. Fuck. I tired so hard.

I saw the realization in her eyes as soon as she hung up the phone. She practically threw it down and stormed toward the shelf. Yep. I was about to get a mouthful.

"Now I get why you blasted my computer," she said coldly, pacing. "You didn't want me to see Ryan!"

But I don't like Ryan, I told her.

"It's not your call, Aiden!" she exclaimed. "I can do what I want!"

But you're mine, I insisted.

"Fuck this," she growled. "Fuck this! We're not going to start this again!" Oh, yes we are, Jodie. I'm starting it! "I am not yours, Aiden! I can have a relationship with whoever I want. This is my life. Do you fucking hear me? This is my life!"

But he's a moron, I tried to tell her.

"You know what? I happen to think Ryan is great. I mean, he's charming, he's intelligent, he's funny, and I…think I'm falling for him." Noooo, Jodie. Come on! "Yeah."

Remember what happened at the bar? I tried to remind her.

"Yeah, I'm aware of what happened at the bar, fuck you for reminding me. Ryan is not like that…"

She proceeded to ignore me and looked up at the clock instead. "Okay. Okay." Talking to herself again. Pssh. "It's 7 o'clock." Actually, the clock says 6:58, ma'am. "I've an hour to make dinner, tidy up, and make myself look good."

Oh, yeah. We'll see about that.

I followed her around as she started cleaning up. She picked up the trash, picked up the books, did the dishes, went into her room and picked up laundry. I sighed. She never cleaned this much. I laughed a bit when she just kicked the games and controllers under the TV stand. Nice. And then I followed her into the kitchen. She opened up the cookbook and started reading through some pages, evaluating them—out loud, to herself—and finally she decided to make Asian Beef. What made her choose that I can't figure out—she went to the fridge and got out the stuff she needed to make it. Huh. Surprisingly, she happened to just have the right amount of all the right stuff to make the fucking dinner.

She put it all down on the counter and reached for the knife. I was so, so mad…I just…Argh! I grabbed the knife and picked it up myself. I turned it around and aimed it right at her fucking face. Here you go, Jodie! I said angrily. She looked shocked for a moment, and then reached up and took it out of my hand, and thanked me for it. My head almost exploded.

She cut up all the stuff, used a chair to get the wok out of the cupboard, and then started cooking it. She poured in the stuff, put in the food, stirred it, put the salt and pepper, blah, blah, blah. She caught the shit on fire and then told herself she was starting to like cooking—what?—and then told Ryan he was going to love it. No! I hope he burns himself or something. I hope the half you give him turns out horrible. I hope you put too much pepper.

You know what?

I went out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Letting my anger get the best of me, I reached forward and pressed the doorbell. I hadn't managed to stop her yet—so I'd waste her time instead.

I came back inside—she was panicking—and as soon as she turned toward the door to go answer it, I started putting the dining room table chairs up onto the tabletop. Anything to fuck with her. She opened the door for "Ryan" but didn't go outside when he wasn't there. Dammit. She turned around and saw my chairs and sighed. "You're wasting your time," she told me. I frowned. "You're not going to stop me from seeing Ryan."

Oh, I'm not done.

She took all of the chairs off the table and then opened the doors to the bedroom. She picked up some more laundry and took them to the basket in the bathroom. Then, she stripped down and stepped into the shower. I sat outside the door, fuming. As she stood in there letting the water fall on her, I noticed the hot water was fogging up her mirror. I got up and went over to it, reaching out with my finger and writing her a message.

She got out of the shower and dried herself off. After she put on her bra and underwear, she turned around to walk to the bedroom, but caught sight of the mirror in the corner of her eye. She walked over to stand before it and looked at it. She read my message: "You don't need him. You have me."

And reached up with her hand, wiping away my message. "Christ, Aiden," she sighed. "Look, you just don't get it."

I just don't get what?! Explain it to me, Jodie! What am I missing here?! Why am I not good enough for you!

She turned and left the bathroom, going to her closet to pick an outfit. She pulled out her elegant red dress and started acting in front of her mirror, pretending Ryan was there. It made me sick. She seemed satisfied with her dress and put it on, modeling it. My anger overtook me again and I punched her mirror, cracking it. She sighed again. "You might as well give up, Aiden, okay? This date is going on. Period."

She closed the closet doors and walked away from me again. I went into the living room quickly and grabbed the pillows from her couch. I threw them on the floor in front of her and she looked irritated. She walked over and picked them up, putting them back in their places. "Come on, Aiden. Don't be a pain in the ass." Oh, that is exactly what I'm going to fucking be, Jodie.

She went over to the stereo and turned on romantic music.

This was going to be the worst night of my life.

Finally, the fucking doorbell rang. Great.

She sprinted over to it and took the handle, but didn't open it. She looked right at me and said quietly, "Aiden, behave yourself. This is important to me, and I'm counting on you…"

Hmm. He's more important to you than I am, I guess? Is that what you're going to tell me next? Huh, Jodie?

She opened the door and that stupid man smiled at her and she smiled at him and he came in and I had to turn away and cross my arms to prevent myself from just choking him right then and there.

They laughed and talked and he smiled and told her about his wine and then she forgot what the corkscrew was called and said she'd go get "the thing that opens the wine." I laughed at her mistake. Nice.

I followed her closely into the kitchen. She went to open the drawer and I felt like fucking with her again, so as soon as she opened the drawer, I threw open the cupboard and fridge doors. It scared her, and I smiled. Ryan said something to her and she missed it, which made me smile more. "Aiden!" she growled. "For fuck's sakes!"

She closed the doors and got the corkscrew, going back into the living room to open their wine. She poured the glasses and they tapped cups and all that shit, and then she sat down next to him and they started drinking. I sat down on top of the table, listening to them—and fuming. They talked about her apartment and blah, blah…I looked around and surveyed all the things I could fuck with to ruin their night. I could make the painting fall, smash the vase, pull down the blinds, make the phone ring…there were so many things I could do to just mess shit up. I stood up as they talked about Oregon, where he was born, and grabbed the vase with my hand—but I didn't tip it. Something stopped me. The two kept talking, completely oblivious.

I heard something about getting beat. I hope it hurt, dick.

I went over to the other side of the room and stared out the window, watching the cars go by.

I went back over, and then considered fucking with something again. But once again, something stopped me. I couldn't do it.

They got up and Jodie went to get dinner, asking for some more wine. Ryan stood up and took the glasses and wine, and this time, I followed him instead. I stared at him as he sat down at the table while Jodie brought out her Asian Beef. She served him—I once again hoped he'd burn himself or get the shitty portion, but no such thing happened—and the two started eating. He thought it was good and she was happy. Which meant I was not.

They started talking again, blah, blah, blah. I plugged my ears until I heard my name despite my fingers being in my ears—they were talking about me!

He wanted to know about Jodie's link with me. And then she said she didn't think I knew what I was or who I was. Ryan asked if I was there now and Jodie said, "Yeah. He never leaves me."

It made me feel a little better. But on the inside, I was still saying angrily, yeah that's right. I never leave you. I go everywhere with you, help you with everything, I protect you, everything. And where is Ryan half the time? Not with you.

I thought about throwing some chairs around or something. Yeah, Ryan, I'm right here. I grabbed the wine bottle and squeezed it, ready to throw it into his lap and ruin his nice clothes. My hand was shaking with anger from just looking at him…but I couldn't do it. I released the bottle and backed away so I was against the wall. I sat down on the floor and just sat there, staring at the ceiling. I hated him but I loved Jodie—I didn't want to ruin this night. After all, it was important to her.

I listened as she asked him if he was married—he wasn't, dammit—and then he asked her if she was interested in anyone.

"No…" she replied. "I've got Aiden, so…"

That made me feel muchbetter.

"I mean anyone in our world," Ryan said.

She told him I always made people run away—then tried to say it was her fault—and then he told her she was special, and that I had nothing to do with it.

And then they kissed.

I closed my eyes. I felt so sad. I wasn't angry anymore. Just upset.

And then she got up and led him toward the bedroom. I heard them get on the bed and kiss some more. I turned around and stared out the window again, looking down at the cars below. I felt a tear run down my cheek. She didn't need me. She just wanted him. I plugged my ears and closed my eyes. I wanted no part of what was going on.

Jodie, I said aloud—to myself, really. Well, more like I sobbed it. I just sat in silence after that, waiting it out. Yeah. I'd wait it out. Nope, it's not really happening. Not happening.

I felt someone walking past and turned to look.

Ryan was leaving?

I got up and went toward the bedroom and heard Jodie crying. I went inside and she was sitting on the bed, crying.

Wow, Aiden.

Way to ruin her fucking night.

If only I had kept my mouth shut…just once.

I'm sorry, Jodie.