Summary= AU. Home school for the most part of her current life Phoenix Clearwater is about to enter Hogwarts. For the next year she will have to endure Girls, the Marauders, Slytherin's, and the only love interest she's ever had. However will she get through the year?
Prolouge:
Salley,
I guess i know where I should start my little story.
I, Phoenix Naiia Clearwater was home schooled for the better half of my life. When I turned seven my mother began my magical training and I couldn't wait to go to the school my mothers friends always spoke of. The one my mother and father had attended, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My mother on the other hand had other plans. With the current rise of a certain Dark Lord, she felt it was unsafe for me to go as long as my father, Malcolm Clearwater was a Deatheater. But two months Before I turned 11 my father died and I finally convinced my mother to send her very smart and boastful only child off to school.
My first five years were hardly anything worth telling about. I was placed in Gryffindor, though I have no idea why. I wasn't anything like the other people in my house. I wasn't stupidly brave nor was I outspoken either. But I was sorted into my mothers house. (To tell you the truth I had always thought I would follow after my father and be placed in Slytherin.)
But things never go how you think they will, now do they?
Forever,
Phoenix.
Sixth Year Charm
WeaverOfTheRayne
(I own nothing more then a few characters.)
-~-~-~-~-~-
A Meeting Of The Marauder Kind.
I sighed as I closed the sliding door and moved on down the corridor. Every door I opened only showed a full compartment. I was never going to find a place to sit. Finally as I reached the last possible compartment I found an empty room. After stowing my trunk over head, I settled down in the far corner and pulled a novel out of the poka-dot back pack at my side. (Yes I am aware that I am a pureblooded witch. But that doesn't mean that I don't like muggles or their crazy contraptions.) Ah, A Kiss At Midnight. One of my favorites. The old book was starting to finally show some use after the twentieth time I had opened its cover and divulged in its words. I loved reading. That's how I had got through my first five years of schooling. Reading. But the words didn't hold my attention long as my thoughts wavered to why exactly I was sitting here on this train.
My mother had finally accepted that I needed to further my magical education elsewhere then the library in our massive home. That the tutors she had hired were not teaching me enough. So she sent word to the headmaster at the most prestigious school of magic around. Hogwarts. Headmaster Dumbledore sent word not three hours later that I was accepted and I was to be on platform 9 ¾ on September 1st. That was five years ago. And now all I can think of is why I let my mother send me here.
I was lost in these thoughts when the door to the compartment opened. "Excuse me, everywhere else is full. Can we join you?" I didn't even look up as I answered with a quiet nod, my copper hair falling further around my face. I wasn't even sure if the boy who had asked had seen it or not, I just kept on thinking.
When my mother had told me that I was to go away to school, I had been a bit unsure if I had wanted to. Of course when I was younger I wanted to go very badly. But now I would start in my sixth year, just allowed two more years at the school, I wasn't so sure if I wanted to be here anymore. I was very advanced in my studies and was very much ahead of the other students. I had a difficulty talking to other people, especially other girls. I was an only child and had very little chance to socialize with other children my age while growing up in the countryside of Ireland, the closest neighbor a mere five miles away, and had preferred the company of my mothers friends instead of their children. I never bothered to even wonder as to why they, the children, had stopped trying to get me to play with them. But the ladies had told me I would love going to Hogwarts, so I told mother that I would. And here I was.
"How was your summer, Prongs?"
Of course now that I was here, I wanted nothing more then to go home, to sit in my library, to have tea with my mother. To not be in the compartment, pretending to read a book, while the people around me chattered on about their summers. But this I have to admit was mostly my fault. As I hadn't strived to gain any friends my first five years.
"It was amazing, what with Padfoot here living with us now. We pulled all sorts of pranks on Amelia, of course. Mother was not happy with us after the last one though."
I wondered what the classes would be like this year. I sent a letter with what classes I would like to take to the headmaster last week, as I hadn't told him at the end of last semester. Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Muggle Studies, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Care of Magical Creatures. Eight classes should be enough to keep me busy, to keep me from getting lonely. I hoped at least.
"So, Moony, how was your summer?"
"It was alright. It would have been better if I had you guys over. Mother kept on saying I am growing too much."
"I'm hungry. Where's Lace with the trolley you think?"
I too was getting hungry. I hadn't ate anything today. I was too nervous to eat anything for breakfast, and we had woken up late and so rushed out the door. So now I was waiting for this Lace the boy had mentioned to show up so that I too could eat.
"Pads you are always hungry. Its only eleven. Didn't you eat this morning?"
I was curious to see who was sitting with me by now, so took a peek over the top of my book. There were three boys sitting across from me. The one directly across from me also had a book out, his golden brown hair was falling across his face as he read, his clear blue eyes darting back and forth. The boy next to him had long shaggy black hair and gray eyes that were crinkled in laughter. He was quiet attractive. The last boy sat taller then the other two, his bright hazel eyes shining out from behind round glasses and his black hair sticking out at every angle but down.
"Of course he did Moony. We both did. But you know that we need to eat every few hours. We are growing boys who play Quidditch."
The boy with the glasses smiled as he said the last word. Quidditch. I knew that sport. It was played on broomsticks high in the air. There were seven players on a team. Three Chasers, two Beaters, a Keeper, and a Seeker. I had gone to the World Cup with my father when I was younger. I wondered if these boys were on the team at Hogwarts. And which house they were in.
"Hello."
My gaze instantly shot back to the boy with the book. He was smiling at me, looking directly in my eyes, talking to me. To me. Oh yeah.
"Hello." I said, my eyes darting back to my book, and I tried to go back to pretending to read. Hoping that the boys wouldn't try to talk to me.
"I've never seen you before. May I ask your name?"
I sighed. It seemed I wouldn't get to go back to just listening to them talk. "Clearwater, Phoenix Clearwater" I said without any conviction at all, causing the boy to raise his eyebrow, but the sound of my voice had finally caught the other boys attention.
"Which house are you in?" The boy in the middle asked, and I just stared at him.
"Ignore Sirius, Phoenix. He doesn't have much tact. My name is Remus Lupin." The boy with the book said holding out his hand. I stared at it for a moment before setting my book aside and shaking it. "This is Sirius Black and James Potter." Remus said pointing to each boy in turn.
"Hello." I nodded to each of them and then turned to James. "You play Quidditch, don't you?"
"I'm a Chaser. One of the best in the school." James said looking at her in slight confusion. "And Sirius here is our Beater. But certainly you know that."
Slowly I shook my head, my eyes cast downward. "I've never gone to the games. I'm sorry."
"Which house are you in?" Sirius asked again, looking me over. From my ripped and faded blue jeans and black converse, to my form fitted red satin top and denim jacket. There was no way anyone would confuse me for a witch. A pureblood one at that. And that's when it hit me. These boys were in Gryffindor, the Maruaders. The boys that my dorm mate Lily Evans always ranted about. The people who had ignored me for a good half of my first five years. And this was Sirius Black, notorious womanizer.
"If you must know. I'm a sixth year Gryffindor." I smirked at his dumbfounded expression. "What? Surprised that you hadn't noticed the quiet girl that sat in your commons reading and pretty much ignoring you? The fact that you see me now when I tried my hardest to not be found is beyond my comprehension to tell you the truth. Now if you don't mind I would like to resume my reading." I turned back to my book and ignored the boy who sat across from me, eying me as if I didn't notice him doing it.
The rest of the train ride went smoothly. All things considered.
That was the first meeting between Phoenix Clearwater and the Gryffindor Maruaders, and it wasn't going to be the last.
-~-~-~-~-~-
Happenstance In Hogsmead.
Ah, Hogsmead weekend. The only time of the week that I could fill my obscene candy addiction without being questioned. I woke up today without a care in the world. You would think with the fact that those idiotic Marauders now know who I am that I would be a little weary right? Wrong. The only thing that those bumbling idiots, and Remus, have done to annoy me is point out the fact that I exist to my dormmates. Now Lily, Marleen, Alyss, Molly, and Clara wont even have the decency to leave me the bloody hell alone. But at least I am no longer lonely. That I guess would be a plus. Though the only people I find anywhere near clever enough to associate with are Remus and Lily, and if you put them both in the same room, then James will show up and cause a row between himself and Lily and then I get to hear nothing but her ranting for thee next two hours.
Is it wrong that I now wish more then ever that I didn't attend this stupid school?
So anyway, when I sat down between Lily and Remus for breakfast this morning everything was fine. The world for once was at peace. No one was throwing insults nor were they throwing food (Unlike the morning before when James and Lily had it out at breakfast.) And I sighed. It was going to be a good day.
As soon as I tucked into my food however, I felt eyes boring into my head. Without even looking up I knew who it was. "What the bloody hell do you want this time, Black?"
"I was wondering what you are doing today, Clearwater." Sirius Black said right before tucking into his own food.
"Well it is a Hogsmead weekend, Black. What do you think I'm doing?" I sneered, letting all of my annoyance show. Everyone around us knew that we didn't get along. I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with him weeks ago. But still, every morning that prick asked me what I was doing that day.
"Staying here and reading?" He asked smirking right back.
"Sad enough for you, No. I'm going to Hogsmead with Cole Montgomery." I sighed the boy's name, trying to make it convincing. The truth was that I was indeed going with Fabian, I just didn't care for him in anyway besides him being the older brother of my dormmate.
All around me heads turned and the boys started to sputter. But it was Severus Snape who was the first to speak. (AN: I made Sev a lion on account of my strong hate for Pettigrew. I needed a fourth Marauder. And I love Sevy!!) "Are you an idiot? Cole Montgomery is known for his mistreatment of women. I absolutely can not believe you are this stupid!" He slammed his hand down on the table, causing all the heads in the hall turn our way and most of the goblets around us to tip over.
"Are you really going to Hogsmead with Montgomery Phoenix?" Lily asked her eyes wide. Lily would never tell anyone but she too had gone on a date with that pig, and if it wasn't for James she would have been hurt. And don't let her know I told you this, but that's the day she stopped hating James.
"Apparently not. Not that I couldn't handle myself. I know his reputation, you know, I'm not that stupid." I said standing up and walking briskly from the room, my food still left untouched.
Three hours later Lily found me just outside the Hogs Head. I had just left there and was about to make my way to the closest bookstore when she stopped me.
"Hey, Phoenix!" She cried happily as she grabbed onto my arm. "I was just on my way to pick out my dress for the Winter formal. I know its early, but I want to get it done ahead of time. Want to come with me?"
"Uh sure Lily. But just so you know I don't plan on going to that stupid ball." I said still not over that morning. "First, though, can we go to the bookstore? I have a item to pick up."
"Sure Phoenix."
After picking up my book on Animagi, we headed to Madam Malkins. Inside we found ourselves surrounded by many lovely dresses and robes of every different color out there. I sighed. I was going to take forever to find Lily a dress.
The dress she finally settled on was a dark emerald satin one shoulder dress. It looked absolutely beautiful on her. And surprisingly it only took us two hours to find. So after leaving the dress shop we headed towards Honeydukes, which was my last stop before I was to head back to the school and her off to the Three Broomsticks to meet up with her other friends. After almost cleaning them out of their whole chocolate supply I was ready to leave. I was barely to the carriages when my arm was once again grabbed. This time however it wasn't my friend. It was Cole Montgomery, and he looked pissed off.
"What gives you the right to stand me up you fucking bitch!?" He screamed in my face raising his hand and slapping me soundly across the face. The only reason I didn't fall over from the force of the hit was his hand gripping my arm. As he pulled back to hit me again, still screaming obscenities at me, his arm was grabbed and he instantly released me to fall to the ground.
"You never hit a women, no matter what they have done or who they are. Women are to be cherished and protected. And you have harmed one to many, Montgomery." A cold collected voice echoed out over the ground as I laid there, my eyes never leaving the ground, tears causing my mascara to run rivers down my cheeks. The last thing I heard before I was overcome by exhaustion was the blood curdling scream and the crack of a broken bone.
-~-~-~-~-~-
Hero? I Think Not.
I woke up to the sight of a crying Lily hovering over me, my hand in hers. She practically cried a river when I opened my eyes. I watched her as she turned and said something that I couldn't hear over her shoulder. I presumed she was telling Pomfrey that I was awake now. And sure enough there she was bustling my way. I watched as she examined me and looked at me and spoke. Again I didn't hear any words over the ringing in my ears. So I just laid there blinking at her as if I had no idea what she was saying, which I didn't.
I think I passed out again, cause the next thing I knew it was dark outside and I was completely alone. I don't know what it was that woke me up, but I knew that I wasn't as alone as I thought.
"Who's there?" I said, my voice echoing around the room. Then I heard it. Someone had walked into something. A few moments later the door to the wing opened and closed on its own and I knew for a fact that someone had been there. And it didn't calm me one bit.
The next morning, Madam Pomfrey walked over to my bed to find me sitting up staring at the door with bloodshot eyes. I hadn't slept a wink.
"Miss Clearwater can you hear me?" the nurse said, concern floating in her voice. I nodded, my eyes never leaving the doorway as it opened. In walked Albus Dumbledore the headmaster.
I sighed as the nurse walked away from me to him, my eyes following their movement. I watched them whisper to each other and nod in my direction. Then I watched as the nurse waalked back over to me.
"You are to stay here for the rest of the day. Miss Evans has agreed to take notes in all of your classes for you. Here's a dreamless sleep potion. Take it and get some rest dear." And with that she handed me the bottle waited until I tipped it back and then strolled away as once again my eyes drifted closed.
When I woke up from my long nap, it was to the muttering on the otherside of the curtain drawn around my bed.
"And Black just carried her up here and left her without any sort of information as to who did it or what had happened. He set her down gently as he could alerted me that she was here and walked out." Pomfrey whispered.
Black? As in Sirius? Sirius saved me? But the voice I heard, the one that was still echoing around in my head didn't sound anything like that imbiceil.
I was released from the hospital wing by dinner time. And of course whispers followed me all the way to the Great Hall. I sat in my normal seat as if nothing had happened and went about eating everything that was in front of me, completely non pulsed by the stares I was getting. After I ate everything on my plate I looked up into the intense silver gray eyes of Sirius Black.
"Thank you." I said in a very small voice. I had to thank him even if he was a prat. He did save me after all.
"For what?" Was the confused boys reply. He looked at me as if he had never seen me before, like I had just grown an extra head or something.
"Thank you for saving me. I mean I know that we don't get along and that you didn't have to help me. So I just wanted to say thank you." I tried to smile then. I was saying things that no one not even me would ever think would come from me.
"I didn't save you, Phoenix. I wasn't there, I couldn't get to you in time. And trust me I tried." Sirius said his eyes shining brightly. Abruptly the boy stood and walked out of the hall without even looking back.
"If it wasn't you...then who?"
-~-~-~-~-~-
Could You Be?
The news of Montgomery's attack on me traveled faster then the news of my savior. Everyone thought that it was Sirius who had saved me, just as I had. But the boy continued to deny that he was there. Even James thought it was his mate. After all Sirius had disappeared sometime while James was watching (Stalking is more like it) Lily. I was just plain confused. Sirius Black not taking credit for something heroic? That wasn't like him in the least. And it didn't help that every time I saw him he would smile a sad smile at me then turn away.
But it was in Potions that following Thursday that I finally figured it out. I was for once in my life early to class. As I sat in my normal seat in the back I watched the room slowly fill. I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw Sirius Black walk in to the classroom surrounded by Slytherins, and wearing Slytherin robes. It took me a few moments after the real Sirius Black walked in and sat down in the seat in front of me to realize that the other boy was actually his brother Regulus. Though if it wasn't for Marleen, who had sat next to me today, that I even knew his name and that he was Sirius' twin.
For the rest of class I stared at the boy. He had the same messy hair as Sirius only shorter and more maintained. His eyes, though apparently the same color as his brothers, lacked the same shine to them, the same mischievousness. His face was sharper, more angular, thinner.
"Good afternoon class. Today we're going to learning about love potions. Can anyone tell me which of the five love potions is the strongest?" Professor Slughorn asked as he looked expectantly at Lily. As if he could predict she would know the answer. Lily however was too busy not paying attention to her favorite professor (something which was very rare indeed and I teased her about it for hours afterwards) so I placed my hand in the air. "Ah, Miss Clearwater. The answer?"
"Amortentia, Sir." I said smiling wide. Slughorn was one of my favorites too. Even though he has tried to "collect" me in my fourth year.
"Correct. Ten points to Gryffindor. Now who can tell me the characteristics of Amortentia?"
Instead of raising my hand again, I watched and waited. For a full ten minutes no one moved a muscle, nor offered that they had any idea what the answer was. Just as Slughorn was about to pick a person however a masculine voice rang out over the class.
"It is recognizable by its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen and by the fact that its steam rises in characteristic spirals. The potion smells differently to different people according to what attracts them." Regulus Black said in a bored voice and everyone stared in his direction for a few moments.
"Good show Mr. Black. Yes, yes. Ten points to Slytherin. Now class today we will be taking notes on how to brew and use Amortentia and the effects and consequences of doing so. And next week we shall be brewing the potion itself. Now please take out some parchment and copy down what you see on the board."
I didn't move. Did he say brew the potion? And what was with the niggling feeling I had in the back of my head that I had heard Regulus Black speak before?
-~-~-~-~-~-
Amortentia, The Deadliest Love.
Brewing the potion turned out to be quite easy for me. And I stood over it smelling the wonderful scents emanating from it.
I sighed as I inhaled the sent of the air fresh from a lightning storm. Chocolate wafted up from the pearlescent liquid quickly followed by the smell of my favorite mint tea. Then a scent I barely recognized reached me. It was a mixture of coconuts and musk, of sandalwood and the sea. The smell of newly baked cookies and bread quickly over powered it, trying to chase it away, but it was forever burned into my brain. What in the world smelled that way?
I spent the better part of the next week thinking of the answer to my question, and I still couldn't come up with one. It was because of this, that one day I ran into the one person I couldn't stand to see. And when I say ran into I mean literally. I was slowly making my way to Potions when he came rushing around the corner, oblivious to all that was in his way. The collision caused us both to fall to the floor, splayed out with our things mingled together around us.
"Argh…"The muffled sound of his voice floated up into the air from under me. I instantly recognized the voice of my cushion. His crystal eyes set like the steel color they so often took. "Would you get up already, Clearwater? I don't have all day to just lay here, being infected with whatever disease you are carrying."
Great. Just what I needed. A Slytherin. I sighed and rolled over so the my body was no longer in contact with his. As I pulled all the papers and books around me towards my body so I could inspect them, he heaved himself up and then stood there staring down on me. The look on his face was to hard for me to decipher, it looked like the face his brother got when he wanted something really bad and no one would give it to him.
"I don't know how a waste of space like you got in here. What did you do to go to this school? Sell yourself?" the boy said with a non committed sneer. That's when I noticed a few more Slytherins walking towards us, my friends maybe three paces behind them.
"Phoenix? Are you alright?" Lily said as she knelt down to help me pick up my things, leaving Regulus' where the lay.
"Yes Lily I am. Just ran into Black here. He was just telling me that I should be more careful. You know how clumsy I am." I tried to smile at my friend to cover up the hurt Blacks words had caused me.
"Regulus." Sirius said nodding to his brother with a frown.
"Brother." Was the reply.
Potions that day was tense if anything. Sirius didn't say a word to any of us, just watched his brother from across the room with a sad look on his face. I hardly noticed a thing for the rest of the day. I was to caught up in my thoughts to notice anything. And it took me until I was climbing in my bed to realize that Regulus smelled exactly like my potion. Did that mean he was the Black to save me?
-~-~-~-~-~-
Unexpected Invitation
The weekend before the winter holidays was always a Hogsmead trip. And for once I wasn't planning on going. Would you after what happened the last time I went? I dont think so. So I sat under the tree by the lake pretending to read when I was actually watching the snow fall around my bubble. I was too busy thinking about Regulus Black to notice the boy walk up to me and sit down.
"Are you aware Clearwater that it is a Hogsmead trip today?" Regulus asked looking out over the lake. I turned to look at him with wide eyes, my mouth opening and shutting in astonishment.
"Yes..." I said timidly. "But I don't believe I will be going to Hogsmead for awhile."
"Because of that arse Montgomery?" The boy asked still not turning my way.
"Because I would prefer not to, that is all." I shot back, not liking that he was implying that I was afraid.
"Are you staying here for the Holiday?" He asked looking me in the eyes and changing the subject abruptly. The wind changed just then sending his scent my way. I inhaled deeply and sighed.
"Not that it's any of your business, but yes." I said braking eye contact with him to look out over the water. Then I stood up and made to walk away. I got maybe three feet when a hand softly closed around my wrist. I turned around, quickly pulling out my wand.
"Easy now Clearwater. I wont hurt you." Regulus said sincerity shining from his eyes. "I just wanted to ask you if you were going to the Ball tomorrow night. And if you are with who?"
"I'm not going with anyone." I said, leaving out the part where I was determined not to go.
"Well I would like it very much if you went with me." Regulus smiled and that's when I was lost. Who in their right mind would tell that boy 'no' when he smiled like that?
"I'll think about it." I frown at my own words. Wasn't I adamant on the fact that I wasn't going?
"Well if the answer is yes then meet me at the top of the Grand Stair at eight." Regulus leaned in to whisper in my ear before quickly kissing my cheek and walking away.
When I turned around it was to the sight of Sirius Black not two feet away standing in the snow staring at me with a bewildered expression.
That night I was studying on my bed when the door opened and Lily practically floated in.
"So James asked you to the Ball and you finally said yes then?" I asked trying not to laugh at the absurdity of it. There was no way Lily would tell James yes.
"How did you know?" Lily practically sighed as she sat on the end of my bed and I just gaped at her. "What? It's not like you didn't see it coming. You know I've liked James for awhile now. I was just waiting for him to grow up a little."
"I know that Lils. Trust me I know." I smiled and congratulated her.
"So a little birdie told me that you got asked to the Ball. Are you planning on going then?" Lily asked a huge smile on her face. She had been bugging me for weeks to go with her. She said it would make things perfect.
"I don't know if I want to give Regulus Black the satisfaction of going with me." I sneered as I said his name and returned to my work. Lily gasped.
"Regulus Black? As in Sirius' twin? As in a Slytherin? Asked you to the ball?" She questioned the disbelief evident in her voice.
"Whats so surprising about that? It's not like I'm ugly or anything like that."
"That's not what I meant. So are you going with him? Cause if you are then you'll need a dress wont you?" Lily changed the subject quickly.
I thought about what she said for a moment and realized that I couldn't go even if I wanted to. I didn't have a dress nor a way to get one. Lily must have seen the disappointment on my face because she stood up instantly and walked over to the closet our dorm had and pulled out a dress bag. I watched as she laid it on the end of my bed and unzipped it.
"I know you said you weren't going to go and all that nonsense but when I saw this I just knew it was meant for you. So I bought it. Think of it as an early Christmas present." She said as I stood up and pulled the dress from the bag. It was a brilliant silver floorlength gown, A high collar and sleeveless. It was perfect.
-~-~-~-~-~-
Night Remberance.
The next night found Lily and I descending the staircase to meet up with our friends making their way down to the Ball. Lily looked perfect in her dress just as we knew she would. She had he curls up in a lose bun and was wearing the earings James had bought her last year for Christmas. I was surprised that she had kept them, and apparently so was he.
"Lily you are stunning."Was all he could get out before a blush crept across his face and he held out his arm for her. Severus watched this exchange with a sad smile on his face. His date, Marleen however slowly took his mind off the new couple. Remus looked absolutely handsome in his muggle wear. He was abstaining from the nights events. Though he was having a date with Odelle Riley from Ravenclaw in the RoR later. No one was suppose to know about it, but I have great hearing when people dont see me. Sirius wasn't there and James said he waas going to get his date and would meet us there. I knew this was a lie because I had overheard Sirius telling Alyss that he couldn't go with her but went along with the lie anyway. I couldn't wait to see Regulus.
He was waiting right where he said he would be. He looked grand in his ebony dress robes. When he saw me he smiled a slow seductive smile, his eyes never leaving mine as I walked towards him.
"You are beautiful." He said handing me a single white tulip. I blushed and pushed a strand of my long black hair behind my ear. "Well shall we?" He held out his arm and I took it slowly, allowing him to lead me down the stairs and into the Great Hall, the whole time My eyes never left his.
After a few hours of dancing and just having fun with my friends and Reg (He told me to call him that) I told him that I was hot and wanted to step outside. He followed. I sat on a bench near a fountain and looked out over the lake.
"You have the most gorgeous blue eyes Phoenix." Regulus said smiling at me until I blushed.
"Reg?" I said just as I noticed him leaning in to kiss me. Or at least that's what I think he was doing. He sat up and looked at me again.
"Yes?" Was his short reply.
"It was you who saved me from Montgomery, I know it was. So why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me think it was Sirius?" I asked the burning question. I had to know.
Instead of answering me Reg carefully placed his hands on either side of my face and brought his lips to mine. It was soft and pleasant. But it was what I thought it was going to be. Slowly the wind changed direction and I gasped and pulled back. Whoever had just kissed me was not Regulus Black. And as I looked into the boys eyes I knew instantly who it was.
"Sirius?" I said just as another voice said "Phoenix?" and I turned around to see Regulus Black standing there with a frown on his face, before he turned on his heal and stalked away.
"Regulus? Regulus wait!" I stood up to go after him but Sirius caught my wrist.
"Wait Phoenix. What do you see in him that I don't have? What is it that makes you hate me?" Sirius said in a quiet voice before I pulled my wrist from his hand and ran after the boy I hardly knew.
I followed Reg all the way up to the Library. I didn't know why he went there nor did I really care. I just had to tell him what had happened. He had to know my side of the story, and then he was free to make his own decision. I had lost my shoes somewhere between the sixth and fifth floors and I didn't even care. I just had to get to Reg.
"Regulus! Wait!" I cried as I hiked up my skirt and followed him up the last set of stairs. He turned at the sound of my voice and stopped in his tracks.
"Why are you following me? Go back to my perfect brother. I don't want anything to do with you." He shouted then turned again to continue on his way. But he wasnt quick enough to hide the tear going down his cheek.
"I don't want to go back to that pig Reg. I just want to talk to you."
"Do Not call me by my given name! And stop following me you stupid blood traitor. Can't you see that I used you? I only asked you to go with me to get back at that lying cheating stupid brother of mine." That stopped me in my tracks. And I burst into tears and fled. I didn't stop running until I was hiding in my dorm.
-~-~-~-~-~-
UnMerry Start To A Holiday
I didn't talk to anyone the next day nor did I come out of my room. Lily of course found out pretty quickly why I was so hesitant to leave the safety of my bed and owled her mother telling her that she was going to stay for Christmas. I told her that I didn't want her to give up her holiday for me, but she said quite loudly that I was more important then going to France. I just let out another round of tears and hugged her. That was the first time I was glad to have a friend.
After two days of holiday I finally made my way into the commons. I was very surprised to see it was completely empty but put it down to the fact that it was breakfast time. But the Great Hall was deserted also. I couldn't even find a single teacher. Or Lily.
Scared out of my wits I returned to my dormitory. I sat on the windowsill next to my bed and stared out over the grounds, watching the snow fall. I was so lost in thought that when Lily shook me awake I nearly screamed. But I wasn't on the windowsill anymore. I was in my bed, and it wasn't snowing. I had dreamed the whole scary thing about being alone.
"Phoenix, this just came for you. Though I don't know who it's from." Lily said holding out an owl.
I watched the owl flutter onto my bed and hold its leg out to me. I untied the parchment and gave the owl a treat and told it it could get some water from the dish by my bed. Reading the note however was hard. I read it once and watched it float to the floor in shock. Lily bent down and picked it up slowly. It had three words on it.
I am Sorry.
"You can't be serious." Lily said vehemently. "After all those nasty things he says and all you get is a hastily written piece of paper that says I'm sorry? I don't think so."
"Lily. We don't even know who its from..." I said quietly.
"Well obviously its from that rotten Slytherin. Who else would it be?"
"His brother?"
"Sirius? Why would it be him?"
"Because he likes me? And he caused all this stuff with his brother to happen." I said in my duh voice.
I went down to the Great Hall with Lily that evening for dinner. Another owl was waiting for me when I got there. This time the note wasn't so short.
PC,
I know that I have no chance, Phoenix, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I want to show you that I'm not the boy you think I am. Please give me a chance to prove it to you. Meet me tonight outside the RoR. Let me explain. Please.
SB
Lily read the note over my shoulder and then glared at the boy in question in his seat next to her boyfriend.
"Your not going are you?" Lily asked still glaring at the prat.
"Of course I am." I said plainly. "I plan to charm his balls off. Why wouldn't I take the opportunity to do it?" I asked with the straightest face possible before bursting into laughter.
Surprised by my outburst of giggling Lily looked at me in shock holding her wrist to my forehead as if checking if I was alright.
"Seriously Lils I'll be fine. I'll go find out what the prat has to say then I'll kick his arse for being a bloody prat and come right back to the dorm okay?"
Lily didn't even reply, instead she tucked into her meal and tried her hardest to ignore the sense of doom she felt.(She told me this later)
-~-~-~-~-~-
Room Of Requirements.
The Room of Requirements was the most magical room in the whole castle. And since very few people knew about it and how to use it properly it was a great place to hold secret conversations and to hide from the outside world.
I noticed Sirius before he saw me. And I slowly crept up behind him and tapped his shoulder. He jumped a good three feet off the ground. Which of course caused me to laugh hysterically.
"Okay Black I'm here. Now what do you want?" I asked as my laughter sobered.
We walked into the brightly lit room and I looked around. It was common knowledge to those of us who knew about the room that it took whatever shape you needed it to. So when I saw the baby blue walls and fluffy carpet of the room i was a bit thrown off. There were two chairs sitting next to a roaring fire place. It was entirely peaceful. After we sat down Sirius turned towards me.
"Okay, Phoenix, first I have to tell you that I like you. A lot. I have since last year when I first saw you sitting in the commons, your nose in a book." I scoffed. "I know you don't think I noticed you. But I did. And I knew it was you when we sat in your compartment. But I had to make sure. So I asked about your house. I had to make sure that you weren't just a piece of my imagination. And then you were going to go to Hogsmead with that bastard Montgomery. I was so mad at you for being so stupid that I didn't talk to you. When I found out you had stood him up I knew something bad was going to happen. I tried to find you, I looked everywhere. When I finally found you he had his filthy hands on you, but my brother was there, defending you. Before I could get to you Regulus had you in his arms and was carrying you back to the castle." Sirius sighed and moved in his seat. "That morning when you said thank you to me, I felt unworthy of everything. I couldn't believe you thought I was the one to help you when I couldn't protect you. You getting hurt almost hurt me worse then my parents kicking me out. I tried to distance myself from you as much as I could so you wouldn't continue thinking it was me who saved you. And by the time I was about to come talk to you about going to the ball together, I saw you down by the lake with my brother. And I knew that you liked him, it was in your eyes. But I didn't think it was fair. What was it that he had that I didn't? We look exactly alike, act the same, everything. I just didn't get it. So that night at the Ball when you walked up to me and thought I was him I took my chance. I know I shouldn't have, but I just had to know. I had liked you for so long. I couldn't let him win without a fight. I didn't know that you would figure it out, nor that he would come looking for you. And I know now that it was wrong, Phoenix. Please, please consider forgiving me. I know that there wasn't and never will be anything between us. So please let me be your friend." Sirius pleaded with me and I couldn't take those puppy dog eyes of his, so I nodded to let him know it was okay between us. As okay as it would ever be.
"Now I know I messed up your thing with my brother. And I have an idea how to fix it if you would like my help." He said smiling his most charming smile.
"The thing is Sirius, there never was anything between your brother and I. He was using me. To get back at you." I said quietly, not returning his smile as I am sure he had expected me to. My words caused the smile on his face to fall.
"To get back at me?" He said flatly.
"Yes."
"Using you?"
"Yes."
"Did you know?"
"No. I never would have helped him if I did."
"So you and Regulus...Don't like each other?" The hope in his voice nearly killed me. Here was a guy who liked me, when all I wanted was his brother. How did I get myself into this mess?
"I can't speak for him, but I can for me. I like Regulus. What he did was wrong but I still like him. And I'm sorry if you don't like that."
"Do you want him even though he did what he did?"
"Yes."
"Then I have an idea about how to make that happen." Sirius smiled and leaned forward in his seat. "Go out with me."
-~-~-~-~-~-
Confrontation Tower
The news that I was dating Sirius was all over the school by the third week into the new semester. Even though it was all an act I felt guilty every time I saw Regulus. I caught him staring at Sirius and I often. At our joined hands. Weeks past and with every passing day I felt myself fall further awaay from everyone around me. Lily had started hanging out with James more and more, Remus and Odelle were practically joined at the hip and Sev was always off somewhere with Marleen. Which left Sirius and I alone often.I could see what other girls saw in him. He was sweet and charming and an okay kisser. But he just wasn't Regulus. I know how crazy it is to think back on the three encounters Reg and I had and assume that I loved him, but somehow I knew I did. And it wasn't just the potions content either. I just knew. I was in love with Regulus Black and dating his infamous brother. How horrible could I get?
But at the same time in a way I was slowly falling for Sirius. I mean he was always there for me. So when my birthday rolled around and I hadn't even seen one little sign of our 'plan' working I decided that it was time to give Sirius a chance. I didn't tell him this of course. Why would I? I just slowly let go of my boundaries around him. Kissed him back for a change. I noticed the difference immediately. And so had Reg.
Four months after the Ball, I found Reg waiting for me outside of Potions. I just walked past him without looking his way. But I had paused just enough to get a whiff of the smell that addicted me so. I guess that's when he slipped the note into my pocket. When I found it in Transfiguration I didn't know what to do with it. I read it then reread it three times.
Phoenix, Meet me AS Tower. Midnight. -R
I wasn't sure if this is what I wanted anymore. But I just had to know what he to know why, after all this time, he wanted to talk to me. SO that night at midnight I was at the Astronomy Tower, shivering and waiting for the boy I dreamed of.
"I didn't think you would come. Sirius know that his precious girlfriend is meeting with his brother?" Regulus' voice taunted as he spotted me.
"If that's how your going to act then fuck you, I'm leaving before I freeze to death." I said and turned on the balls of my feet to head back the way I had came. I probably shouldn't have done that because the moment I did I lost my footing and started to fall backwards. Reg caught me before I hit the floor, his arms wrapping around me protectively.
"You are clumsy aren't you?" Reg joked halfheartedly and helped me to my feet. "Look Clearwater, Phoenix I just want to know why your dating my brother. I thought you liked me."
"I did..I do like you Reg..Black but it was you who told me that you were using me remember?" I said not meeting his eyes.
"I was hurt." He whispered moving forward and capturing my hand in his. "I was wrong to say what I did Phoenix. And I know you probably hate me. But that was the biggest lie I have ever told. I have always liked you, looked out for you. Ever since fourth year when you fell down the stairs. I dream about you all the time. You never leave my thoughts. I know you. I know you better then he does. Why are you with him?"
"Your brother and I have a bond Reg. He is one of my greatest friends. When you hurt me, he was there for me. And now that I'm with him you want me?" I looked him full in the face then. "Prove it." Was all I said before running down the stairs and back to my dorm.
-~-~-~-~-~-
Proving Love
"Guess this means you're sorry. You're standing at my door. Guess this means you take back. All you said before. Like how much you wanted. Anyone but me. Said you'd never come back. But here you are again. Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye. Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight. I know that I've got issues. But you're pretty messed up too. Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you. Being with you Is so dysfunctional I really shouldn't miss you But I can't let you go." Kelly Clarkson.
When I told Regulus to prove he liked me I thought that would be the end of it. What I didn't expect was The bombardment of owls the next morning, each carrying a different poem, chocolate, or flower. Nor was I expecting the invitation to eat dinner with him, nor the Slytherin's being nice to me and walking me to class and just plain being normal people. I didn't expect Sirius to come up to me and pull me out of the hallway to tell me that he was happy for me, that he was ready to move on also. That he was going to ask out Alyss at dinner. I was truly happy for him, but I didn't understand how he knew. I didn't get why all this was happening.
That night at dinner I walked down the Grand Stair only to be stopped by Reg. There in front of everyone he kissed me soundly and then grabbed my hand and lead me towards the dungeons. When we arrived at the painting of a bowl of fruit, (I watched him tickle the pear) I was very confused. But when we walked into the kitchen I finally understood that he wanted our dinner to be private.
"Phoenix." Reg said pulling out the chair for me and I sat down. We had all my favorites for dinner. Steak and potatoes. Chocolate mousse. It was excellent. We ate in silence but after the last plate was cleared away, Reg got out of his chair and came over to me, his hand held out. I grabbed it and allowed him to pull me to my feet. When the music started to play I smiled slightly. We danced around in circles for what seemed like hours, him just holding me close.
"Does this work for proving that I like you, Phoenix?" Reg asked as he twirled me. "Will you go out with me? Make me happy?"
"Yes. Yes. Yes." I said smiling a true smile for the first time in what seemed like forever and leaned up to kiss the only boy I had ever loved.
-~-~-~-~-~-
Well there it is Salley. The story of how I met the love of my life. I hope one day that you get to read this and know what it was like to be in love. I'm sorry darling that I won't be able to be there to watch you grow up, that I wont be able to help you find your love. But I have to go and save your father from the fate mine suffered. I'm sorry that I have to leave you like this love. But remember one day we will see each other again. Tell your father that I love him.
Forever,
Phoenix Black.
Regulus Black sighed as his Daughter finished reading the small book in her hands. Phoenix gave her life for him, left him to raise their daughter. She loved him so much. And she left him behind a constant reminder of that. And now that Voldemort was finally dead at the hand of his Godson, Reg could finally live again.