I'm just going to stick to writing funnier Lord of the Ring stories, because not a lot of my stories that are actually edited and stuff don't get as many reviews, so enjoy this…hopefully.

Uh, I don't own anything…I hope. If I did that would be weird and I would've suffered from a lot of memory loss to not remember.

Please enjoy and PLEASE I BEG OF YOU, REVIEWWWWWW

Payton (Pepper)

"Okay, let's use some common fucking sense, Gandalf…if you stand at the edge of a precipice such as the one you are standing on, and a flippin Balrog, with a whip, I might add, just fell down there…Honestly, what the fuck do you think is going to happen? Obviously the bitch is going to drag you down with him. Did you have a death wish, you moron?" I snapped at the TV and flung popcorn at Frodo's crying face.

"And, Frodo, you shut the fuck up! If you weren't so needy and weak, Gandalf wouldn't have come and this wouldn't be happening, now would it? Aragorn? You just keep being sexual, you're doing fantastic."

A snort from my blonde bitch-friend in the corner on Twitter brought me from my rants.

"Pepper, if Gandalf didn't come then they would all be dead and then the Ring would be given to Sauron and everyone in Middle Earth would die."

"Shut up," I hissed, "Don't put me down, you hoe. Quit being such an artificial blonde bitch and make me more popcorn."

"Screw you; make your own damn popcorn! All you do is throw it at the TV anyway!"

I sighed and focused on the TV only to burst into another fit of rage.

"Shut up, Boromir! My sexy man is trying to save everyone's lives and all you can do is defy him. You know what, you flipping ticking time bomb, you should be licking his boots clean-not voicing your opinions!"

"You're such an angry person, Payton! You need to lighten up a bit." That came from my older half-sister, Naydiene, who laughed, then walked through the living room and into the kitchen. (Nay-Deen)

"No, I'm only angry when disgusting people like Boromir be telling off my man!" I said in the most ghetto voice I could muster, "And when I see Arwen kiss my future husband and when I see blonde, pointy –eared bastards like Legless flirt with Aragorn!"

"Legolas, honey, Legolas…" aforementioned blonde friend, Lena Audrey, who I call LA, laughed, "And Boromir is just trying to help out and let people have a minute to grieve." (Lee-na)

"Leeennnnaaaa! Don't defend him! He's a rude bitch."

"Peps, can you order pizza or something? I'm starving and I need a shower. I just ran 3.06 miles and I'm beat!" Naydiene downed the rest of her water bottle and started up the stairs.

"Does this face look like it cares?" I joked, schooling my features and staring at her.

She stared back.

"Just order the pizza…"

"Kay! LA, I need your cellular telephone, pronto." I reached my hand out and looked at Lena expectantly.

"Bitch, no, get your own phone!"

"It's charging! Just let me use yours!"

LA groaned and gave me her Iphone 5 (which was much better than my Iphone 4S) and I quickly dialed the pizza place.

"Hello, thank you for calling Domino's Pizza, this is Joshua, and how may I help you?"

"Helloooo Joshua, its Pepper calling! Listen, I need one large cheese pizza, one small pepperoni, uhhh a bottle of Dr. Pepper, and your number. My address is 651 Rosewood Drive, same city as yours. Okay, thank you, love!" and I hung up, laughing quietly to myself.

"And the award goes to Pepper Lorde, the girl who orders pizza in the most ridiculous and flirty way possible! Congratulations, Mrs. Lorde, can you tell us your secret?" LA held a Wii remote to my mouth.

"Well, I always start my morning with a giant cup of shut the fuck up and finish my day with my middle fingers to the sky! And the key? Not giving a crap about what others think of you!" I played along.

"Oh, some mighty fine tips! Thank you for sharing with us, Pepper! Now, onto today's movie! The Hobbit!" she held her arms out and "flew" to the PS3 to put in the blu-ray disk of the Hobbit.

The movie started as normal, with the dwarves humming the Misty Mountains and the menu popping up. LA went to scene selection and skipped to the scene of the council with Saruman, Elrond, and Galadriel. It was all normal and awesome, until the camera focused directly on Galadriel's eyes and she opened her mouth to speak, but instead of it showed a faint allusion of LA and me exchanging confused looks and then LA asking who "they" were and why they were here. Suddenly, the vision faded and it was of me, sitting outside with my dad, I couldn't have been more than seven or eight, and we were camping. I watched at my younger self pointed at a shooting start and then my dad told me to make a wish. My eyes screwed shut and I mouthed some words before my eyes flew open again. Again, the vision faded to LA, wishing on the same star, her eyes closed and her tiny fists clenching. It went back to us standing in shock looking at the mystery in front of us only this time, Naydiene ran down and asked us what was going on-freezing on spot; she too asked who "they" were. Galadriel snapped her mouth shut and the movie began playing as normal. Unexpectedly, the PS3 made a zapping noise before the screen went black.

LA and I stared in shock, our hearts thudding wild and the same question echoing in our heads, "What the hell was that?"

The doorbell rang and startled us. We didn't move. It rang again. We didn't move.

"What are you creepers looking at? Get the door!" Naydiene hissed standing at the foot of the stairs with a towel wrapped around her.

"Oh, yeah, okay…" I shakily got up and took money from my wallet; LA stood up and went to kitchen.

"That's dude," I handed the money to the man and picked up the boxes of pizza and the bottle of soda. He must have noticed my hands trembling so he offered to take it inside.

A sound of a glass cup breaking sounded in the background and I sighed in frustration, "Yeah, can you? I just had a very unnerving experience with a messed up Hobbit disk…" he gave me a funny look and walked inside.

"Just put them on the kitchen counter…"

"Okay, no problem. The price is $23.03, ma'am," Handing him twenty-five dollars, I told him to keep the change and thanked him for helping me.

"It was nothing, but how are two pizza's going to feed everyone here?" he laughed.

"It's just my sister and my friend…"my eyes followed his gaze to the nine new people that were standing in my living room, shifting uncomfortably.

Naydiene was peaking around the corner, hiding her naked body that was only covered by a towel, and LA was picking up pieces of broken glass, avoiding eye contact with the new people.

"Uh, bring more pizza; please…I don't care what kind. Just bring a lot." I whispered, "They weren't supposed to be home tonight! The renaissance festival doesn't end until…next week!"

"The renaissance festival isn't for another three months-," I pushed the delivery man out and called after him, "Don't forget the pizza!"

Shutting the door quickly, I leaned my head against the oak door and deep several deep breathes and blinked a few times.

"When you open your eyes, they'll be gone…"

I turned and opened my eyes, and guess what!

They were gone!

"I knew it was just my eyes playing tricks on me!" I laughed.

Then I heard a crash come from outside, and that's when I noticed the backdoor (that was open from when Naydiene came back from her run) was still open and a wave a fear washed over me.

"The backdoor was open before, Pepper," I told myself, "That doesn't mean they're out there…"

But, because the world hates me, when I looked out, I saw nine figures looking around curiously and a small boy shaking the fence that had my ferociously growling Collie and Rottweiler inside, gnawing at the fence to get out and attack the intruders.

LA came up behind me and whispered, "What the fuck, Pepper?!"

"I don't know what's going on, LA, so don't ask…"

"That's the goddamn Fellowship of the Rings!"

"I know, Captain Obvious!" I snarled.

"Okay, Lieutenant Sarcasm, don't get all pissy!"

"Quit being stupid, LA, and…" I trailed off when I noticed nine people staring at us; one of the nine was smiling, amused.

"Hello…" I smiled and waved, laughing awkwardly.

Boromir unsheathed his sword and pointed it at us, "Where are we?"

"Woah! Put down the sword, please…I'm too young to die!" LA yelped, pushing me forward, "Kill her! She's weird…"

"Oh, thanks, you broomstick looking bitch!"

At the sight of the sword, my dogs went berserk and howled and barked, foam coming out of their mouths.

Legolas raised his bow at them and cocked an arrow.

"NO!" I screamed, racing forward and grabbing his arm, "Don't! They sense danger and they're freaking out…just don't shoot them."

Boromir grabbed my shoulder and threw me to the ground, shouting about how a woman shouldn't touch a man in such ways-let alone a prince.

Naydiene saw this and raced out, pushing Boromir back a few steps, "Who the fuck do you think you are?! You can't touch a little girl like that, you psycho bitch! I should call the cops and have you arrested!"

"Naydiene, calm down, I'm fine. He's just a bitchy asshole who deserves to get the shit beat out of him. Just go inside and put some clothes on…we have this under control."

Once I got the angry girl inside, I turned to the Fellowship.

"Child, I apologize for my companion's behavior. As you can see we are all very confused. We know not where we are…" a man that looked like Aragorn smiled gently and tipped his head.

"Who are you?" I asked. I refused to believe that this was the real Fellowship for various reasons. One, it's impossible, two, it's impossible, three it's impossible…and four, it'd be too fucking cool to be happening to someone like me.

"Strider, and if I may ask who you are?"

I snorted, "Princess Diana."

Immediately, everyone dropped to their knees and Boromir started apologizing repeatedly.

"No! I was kidding! I'm not Princess Diana…she died…"

"Then what is your name?" a small boy with curly brown hair and big blue eyes looked at me curiously. Definitely Frodo.

"My name is Pay-Pepper,"

"PayPepper?" the ones who I assumed was Pippin asked.

"What kind of name is that?" Merry asked.

"My names Pepper." I confirmed.

"Pepper?" Legolas cocked his head.

"Well technically it's Payton, but-,"

"So your name is either Payton or Pepper? Well which is it?" I believe Gimli said that.

"No!" I growled, "My name is Payton, but I go by Pepper! It's a nickname!"

"Oh…so you aren't a princess?" Frodo asked.

"Nope, you can get up now…"

The Fellowship stood quickly.

"Is your friend alright, child?" Aragorn looked beyond me to LA, who was standing there with her mouth wide open.

"Oh, yeah…uh her name is Lena Audrey, but we call her LA," I told everyone, "She's in shock; probably doesn't even believe you guys are here right now. In fact, I don't kno believe it, even…"

"How could you not? We are standing here, are we not?" Boromir said.

"Well, yeah, but you shouldn't be! You aren't real!" I argued.

"While I agree that we shouldn't be here right now, I do not agree that we are not real. We are obviously real."

"I don't know how to explain it! You. Aren't. Real! You came from a book!"

"Lies! You make no sense, child."

I growled before saying, "I'm ending this conversation because you are stupid and I don't want to talk to you."

Turning away, I heard him gasp and begin to say something, but Aragorn mumbled something and he quieted.

A heavy silence filled the air; until LA broke it:

"What the fuck is happening?!"

O.o.O

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