notes from the drawing table: it has been a trying two months for me. Hope the worst of it is over.
First I'd like to thank Mrseddievedder for keeping F&G alive here on FF, for our email chats and for inspiring me to shape my notes into a story. THANKS MRSEV!
I began this over a year ago when I was beyond obsessed with this show. Subsequent viewings have not diminished my love or it's awesomeness. I recently attended the PaleyFest Q&A with Judd/Paul and almost all of the actors. It was fun and for the autograph seekers . . . amazing. Most of the actors stayed for almost an hour signing and chatting. They were cordial, friendly and answered tons of questions. I know all of their fans were thrilled at the generosity . . . including me. Martin Starr was nice enough to chat and sign my drawing that is now my profile pic. Many clips are available online, youtube etc.
I have lots of chapters and notes that I am determined to bash into a coherent narrative. I know that there isn't a big fanbase for F&G fiction since it is off the air (I believe repeats are showing on IFC at times) but this is for me an for the few who are out there. This chapter was originally a flashback in chapter ii or iii but it took on a life of its own. My original chapter i just didn't work as a good lead in so I had to expand this.
As I always say, all reviews, opinions etc are welcome. Spread the word about F&G and let's see if we can get this site to come alive with more stories starring Lindsay, Sam and all the others! DTac.
Life at the Top
1. Road trips and safety tips
Lindsay Weir couldn't believe how much fun she was having – that is, when she wasn't freaking out about what she was doing instead of what she was supposed to be doing. It was exciting, scary and a bit overwhelming. Never before had she done anything so spontaneous, so irrational and so against-the-grain of her ordinary straight-laced life. The seventeen-year old was as far away from the dullness of her usual small town summer routine as she could imagine. It was hard to believe that a borrowed record album, a chance meeting in the school lunchroom and an unwanted invitation led to this moment and to this place. More astoundingly, it shocked her that she was the one who convinced Kim to come along. "Kim, you have to come with us! We have to do this! Let's get the hell out of this town for a while"!
Accompanying their new 'Deadhead' friends Laurie and Victor, she and Kim Kelly had driven all the way from boring Chippewa Michigan to Texas, then back north through Oklahoma, Missouri, Minnesota and now to Wisconsin, to follow the Grateful Dead on this leg of their 1981 summer tour. Tonight would be their seventh Dead show in ten days – with two more left over a thousand miles away in Colorado – which Lindsay was considering passing on so she could catch a bus back to Michigan. The formerly afraid-to-even-bend-the-rules-let-alone-break-them-this-outrageously teen, figured she had little hope of getting away with this hair-brained scheme as it is. Once the University of Michigan contacted her parents and informed them that their daughter hadn't shown up for the two-week long Academic Summit – if they hadn't already – Lindsay guessed she was going to be in the biggest trouble of her young life. Having already lied once, the soon-to-be high school senior didn't have it in her to call her parents again and make up new, more elaborate story to cover another entire week of not coming home. It would be too much. Why make what was going to be a very bad situation even worse? When her conservative and overly-dramatic father found out she had ditched the Academic Summit in the first place – let alone ditched it for two weeks of skipping about the country to watch a band like the Grateful Dead – the proverbial shit was gonna hit the fan.
Since she began hanging out with the 'Freaks' – Kim, Daniel, Ken and Nick – at the beginning of her junior year, Lindsay had discovered new courage to lie to her parents, teachers and friends. The former mathlete and goody-two-shoes had regularly found herself in situations where bending the truth and outright lying seemed like a good idea and her only option. Maybe it was peer pressure, maybe it was as a result of her loss of faith or maybe Lindsay had it in her all along; and although lying had gotten her in to a lot of trouble in the past year, it was something that was starting to come naturally to the formerly honest seventeen year-old.
Faking excitement like she actually would have cared about the Academic Summit, (the more she thought about it, the more it sounded like 'death'), Lindsay had called home the previous afternoon while in Minnesota to tell the little-white-lie that would explain her not arriving back in Chippewa on Friday night like she was expected. Kim, a confident liar, kept telling her: "If you believe it Lindsay, it isn't a lie." Lindsay had practiced the story over and over again until she was sure it sounded truthful.
"Mom, I ranked in the top ten percent of the whole group! They wanted me to ask you guys if I could stay here at the college for one more day with some of the others. There's going to be a final discussion group, a detailed tour of the campus and then there's going to be sort of a party – hosted by the staff of the college, of course. They are going to give us advice on filling out college applications and stuff like that. Some professors are going to be there and maybe even the Dean."
Lindsay had rattled off the well-practiced story so quickly, she was sure her parents would suspect something fishy. All of the rehearsal in the mirror didn't matter because Harold and Jean Weir were so proud that their daughter was considered exceptional in a group of kids that were already viewed as the best of the best, they bought it hook, line and sinker and consented immediately. It was difficult to keep from laughing with Kim standing next to her at the payphone sticking her tongue out and making obnoxious faces. It was even more difficult fending off questions from her excited mother, questions about the Academic Summit that Lindsay had no answers for. Luckily the voice came on to say the time was running out on her dime so claiming to have no more change, Lindsay hung up the phone before her parents could drill her further.
Kim, who dreaded going back to boring Chippewa, her dysfunctional family and even Daniel, had already decided that she was going to continue on to the shows in Colorado. Doubting that her mother cared or even noticed that her teenaged daughter was nowhere to be seen for three weeks in the middle of summer, Kim wasn't sure what to expect when she got back and didn't really care. She decided that she would just avoid her mother, pop in now and again and pretend she'd been at friend's houses. On-the-other-hand, Daniel was someone she knew she had to deal with face-to-face. He'd been acting differently the last few weeks of school, not so 'Daniel'. Her on-again-off-again boyfriend had been talking about his future and almost sounded – positive and determined. It had her curious. Since she knew he was working in Flint at some auto parts distributor, a job Ken, or more likely Ken's father, had helped him get, she hoped he was too preoccupied with that and his own issues at home to be overly aware of her continuous absence from Chippewa. One thing she knew for sure, her mother hated Daniel so there was little chance of him showing up at their house to look for her very often.
/\\\/\\\
The following morning, Lindsay leaned back in the lawn chair and took in the scene. They had set up shop in a campground at a place called Whitewater Lake near East Troy Wisconsin. It was jam-packed with Deadheads getting ready for tonight's event at the nearby outdoor Alpine Valley Music Theater. After watching the last couple of shows at indoor arenas, Lindsay was looking forward to seeing the band outside under the stars – the way she imagined the Dead were meant to be experienced. Since she'd done most of the driving last night, Kim was in the Microbus trying to catch up on some sleep while Victor and Laurie were wandering around trying to find tickets, a task they seemed to accomplish with ease at each stop.
The night before had been a great show - probably the best one they'd seen according to her experienced and recently acquired Deadhead friends. For the entire two-week tour, Lindsay had listened to endless talk about set lists, how one song 'melted seamlessly' into the next and about 'transcendent' guitar solos, but none of that mattered to her. The newly indoctrinated into the whole Deadhead scene teen was just happy listen and dance along to the music. Although she didn't have much experience with big time rock concerts, it surprised her how Grateful Dead shows felt so informal. They'd talk to the audience about what was going on stage and what was happening (or not happening) with the equipment. They couldn't get the keyboards working the previous night in Minnesota so Bob Weir was having a great time making light of it. Everything was 'so weird' and a 'trip' to Jerry Garcia. Lindsay decided that all rock concerts should be like those of the Grateful Dead. The music itself was beautiful and inspiring. Along with the song 'Box of Rain', which disappointingly for the novice Deadhead, the band hadn't played at any of the shows she'd witnessed, 'Scarlet Begonias' had become her favorite, so she hoped to hear it tonight. While she did get bored with the extended drum thing or when the jamming went on too long, it was never a big deal. There was always plenty going on in the venue to keep her interested – even if it was just the inspired dancing in the crowd.
It wasn't even noon yet but it was already getting very hot. Lindsay had joined a mix of young and old, new and experienced fans for some preshow fun around one of the barbecue pits at the campground. There was guitar playing, singing, dancing, some sneaky and some very brazen pot smoking, (and other drug taking Lindsay imagined) and just a lot of happy folks, free of societies' chains, hanging out and having fun. While she did recognize some in the gathering from other stops on the tour, most she'd never seen before. Now they were sitting around talking and laughing like old friends. It was the most amazing community of people the sheltered Michigan teenager could ever imagine meeting. Everyone was friendly and generous, willing to share food and drink, laughs, opinions on books and music, great stories of life on the road following the Grateful Dead - and drugs. Especially drugs. Something Lindsay was mostly trying to avoid. Victor and Laurie got stoned before every show but they never pressured her to join in. Kim was happy to partake. Right now Lindsay was content with her donut and slightly warm bottle of Faygo cola, which she kept in her possession at all times. The Deadheads meant well but not everyone wanted to be constantly high or have everything that they ate or drank laced with some sort of drugs – especially not Lindsay Weir. Laurie had warned her – most Deadheads were 'cool', but occasionally there were a few in the crowd who got a thrill out of spiking unattended drinks with acid.
Lindsay had nervously agreed to try 'pot' brownies at the show in Oklahoma and actually smoked pot right before and after the show in St. Louis, and while those experiences weren't awful like when she smoked Nick's pot, she preferred to stay straight. Maybe in the right situation, like while experiencing an amazing Grateful Dead show, pot was ok, she'd decided. "Dropping' acid or eating mushrooms was definitely a road she had no intention of traveling, whether it was by choice or by accident. Victor had pointed out the fans that were obviously 'tripping' on psychedelic drugs and some seemed so whacked out or so completely out of control, it scared Lindsay to death. Listening to the music and being free was more important. Free of school, free of parents and free of rules! Quite a few Deadheads she'd met didn't take drugs and if she lost track of her three friends, she looked to hang with them at the pre and post-concert gatherings. Yellow balloons in and around the venue she'd learned, indicated the location of at least some Deadheads who didn't get high at the shows.
From the first moment they left Ann Arbor, when Victor cranked up "Going Mobile" by The Who on the eight-track, the trip itself had been nothing but fun and relatively uneventful. Some hilarious misreading of the road map lead to a wrong turn or two but that was the extent of the drama. Three weeks cooped up in a VW Microbus could have been a nightmare, but the four of them were getting along so well. The perpetually laid back and non-judgmental Laurie and Victor and the newly mellow Kim had made it a pleasure. Lindsay had actually grown a bit weary of life 'on the road' and the endless stretches of highway between cities and missed home, her parents and even her geeky little brother Sam. What she missed most was sleeping in her own bed, but this was a once in a lifetime experience. They were having so much fun before, after and at the shows, she hardly wondered what Nick (and Sara) and the rest of the group were up to.
Kim's behavior on this crazy adventure had been an eye-opener, too. Lindsay had anticipated that out from under the thumb of authority, her friend of less-than-a-year would turn in to an out of control wild woman but just the opposite happened. No question the often loud and rowdy blonde was happy to smoke pot with the others and drink a few beers, but away from the negative aura of her bossy mother and psycho step dad and finally out of Chippewa for a time, Kim was surprisingly mellow. Unusually relaxed since Lindsay joined up with her and the others in Ann Arbor, Kim seemed in her element on this road trip and had seemed to enjoy meeting and mingling with all the new people they encountered. Nobody knew her or her bad girl image so she had nothing to live down and nothing to prove. Everyone was on this journey to have a good time and having a good time was something Kim Kelly could definitely get down with. Lindsay had even found her friend reading a copy of Jack Kerouac's On the Road a few hours before the show in Oklahoma instead of partying. It was a book that Kim barely opened, and hated, when they were required to read it in English this past year. Maybe this amazing journey they had undertaken would have a positive or even life changing effect on her cantankerous and touchy 'freak', friend.
For the most part, Lindsay was feeling on top of the world. It was too bad that she couldn't shake the feeling that when she finally did return to Chippewa, she was going to regret all of this because she was certain that her parents were going to ground her for the rest of her life. The inside of her house, the school bus and McKinley High School were the only places she was likely to see until after she graduated. That feeling of dread was especially strong today because they were just outside of Milwaukee Wisconsin, the nearest she'd been to her hometown since they'd left. It still surprised her that her Father hadn't mobilized a manhunt to track her down. "Mom and Dad must have heard from U of M that I was missing," she kept thinking, terrified of the consequences.
"Hey . . . Lindsay"!
Lindsay turned to the voice and smiled as she recognized a guy she'd met before the show in Austin and then a few days ago in St Louis – Dave. He was going to be senior too and was 'touring' with his slightly odd, year-younger sister, Heidi. They were from Kentwood, a town outside of Grand Rapids, a couple of hours west across the state from Chippewa. Lindsay recalled him saying that his father was a doctor and that his parents had a vacation house in Benton Harbor, which had made her crack up. She'd quickly explained her reason for laughing to a bemused Dave. Neither he nor his little sister smoked or took drugs so she was happy to see him. He was extremely good looking and seemed really smart – a combination that Lindsay didn't mind at all. She'd felt a sort of 'connection' when they'd chatted the other day so she wondered if this was 'fate' that they'd met yet again.
"Hi Dave. Welcome to Wisconsin," Lindsay said cheerily, motioning him in to the empty seat next her.
"How was the ride from Minnesota"? He asked, sitting in the creaky nylon and metal lawn chair.
"It was ok. We got a flat tire. How was yours"?
"It was cool. We just got here a little while ago. We stopped at the Circus World Museum for a bit. Heidi loves the circus. She mostly wanted to get more postcards – which she'll never send, of course."
"If she never sends them why does she buy them"?
"Just for souvenirs. She has a nice scrapbook from our other Dead tours – and from everywhere else she's ever been. Heidi loves her postcards."
"How many times have you done this, again"?
"Second time on our own. Third if you count the one our Uncle Richard took us on that our parents actually know about."
"What do you mean? Your parents don't know that you're doing this?" Lindsay asked. Suddenly her new friend got even more interesting.
"No, they'd be pretty mad. Smart kids aren't supposed to do stuff like this. At least not without an Uncle Richard to look after them. It is only for the freaks and druggies. I'll tell you what, Lindsay; I'd rather be here than at some lame Academic Summit."
"What? Really? The one at U of M"?
"Yeah."
"I was supposed to go to that too"!
"Right on Lindsay. I knew right away she was not like other girls, other girls."
Lindsay broke in to a big smile, recognizing the sung lyric from her favorite Grateful Dead song then wondered if she had told him that when they spoke before.
"I could tell you were really smart the first time we met," he added.
"Thanks," she answered, always shy with compliments. "What sucks is that my parents are going to ground me for life when I get back. I'm surprised my Dad isn't out looking for me himself."
"You know Lindsay; your parents don't ever have to find out. Just make sure you get the letter before they see it."
"What letter? What do you mean? Isn't someone from the college going to call my house? I had to fill out that paper with my parent's phone number and address."
"No one is going to call, Lindsay. They expect a certain percentage of kids not to show up because they go on vacation or whatever. U of M will just mail a form letter to your house that says 'Sorry Lindsay couldn't attend. Good luck with your senior year.' All you have to do is make sure your parents never see the letter."
"How do you know this"?
"Well . . . first, my older brother Dan actually went to the Academic Summit three years ago. He said it was so lame. They were herded from room to room for all of these braniac tests, focus groups, role-playing games, endless discussions, and such. Just a bunch of old, fat teachers picking your brain – as if you were some sort of science experiment or something. Then some of the kids who ranked the highest or showed 'leadership' potential were asked to stay for an extra week for even more poking and prodding. My brother was one of them. He hated the whole thing. Especially because he lost three weeks of summer – doing school. Dan is smart but he'd rather play basketball and hang out with his friends. The next year, he was invited again, along with my older sister, but since my Dad had vacation, they skipped it. We got the 'sorry your braniac child couldn't come to the University of Michigan to get lobotomized' letter. That was it."
"Darn," Lindsay thought. "I could have said an extra week instead of just an extra day and it only would have been . . . sort of a lie. Too late now."
"So, this summer it was me and Heidi's turn."
"All of you scored in the top one percent for the state of Michigan? Even your little sister"? Lindsay asked, impressed. She cringed, immediately regretting her last statement but she couldn't take it back before her fellow Summit-skipper replied.
"Uh . . . well, all of us are kind of overachievers", Dave answered, slowly.
"I'm sorry, Dave. I know that sounded mean. I wasn't saying that your sister isn't smart. I –"
"That's ok. Heidi is probably the smartest one of us all, even if she doesn't act like it. She is a bit weird and I think she likes that people think that."
Lindsay could've kicked herself. Dave was smart, good looking and was into more than just math and studying unlike many of the brains she knew. He didn't really live that far from her and he didn't smoke pot like Nick (even if Nick claimed to have quit – for Sara – which was another uncomfortable situation she knew she'd have to confront when she got back to town) and he was openly offering information that might save her ass when she got back to Michigan. Now she had foolishly insulted his little sister – even if it was accidental. God, she felt stupid. So much for 'connections'.
"Anyway," Dave continued, "my brother told us to have an escape plan ready just in case we were 'invited' to the Academic Summit and this is it. Thank the tie-dyed gods that the Dead tour every year. My Uncle Richard is covering for us this time."
"That is so cool. I wish I had someone covering for me. I don't know what I'm going to do if – when – my mom and dad find out."
"Just intercept that letter, Lindsay, and you'll be –"
"What letter? Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis"?
The interrupting voice came from a barely five-foot tall, redheaded, freckled pixie who bounced up to Dave's side from out of nowhere.
"Hey, 'Di, you remember Lindsay? From Austin and the other night in St. Louis? She blew off the Academic Summit at U of M too"!
"Right on Lindsay! Best decision of your life from what my big bro Dan tells me. I just finished school. Don't want no more learnin'. Ain't goin' – ain't no way they kin make me. No bleedin' way, I say, I say."
Lindsay met Heidi's smile with one of her own. The girl was definitely a bit odd but Lindsay felt bad for accidentally insulting her.
"Davie," Heidi continued, "I was lookin' for ya just so I could formerly inform you, big brother number two, that I will be hanging out with Bug-eyed Joey, from Canton Ohio, home of the Football Hall of Fame, you know. I'll be the cool carrot-top having the most fun of anyone in the place, ya dig"?
"Where are you gonna be"? Dave asked, hands outspread.
"I'm about ten sites over that away," she said, pointing. "Big, blue van. Grateful Dead stuff painted all over it. Come find me when you are ready to split. Ok? Bye, Lindsay. Thiiis is it – Thiiis is it. This is life – the one you get. So go on and have a ball." And like a whirlwind, the eccentric little redhead Deadhead skipped off singing the theme song to "One Day at a Time."
"Well . . . that was my little sister. Quite a character, huh"?
"Oh . . . I don't know. She's cool. Looks like she knows how to have fun – that's for sure"
"That she does, Lindsay. That she does."
"So, Dave," Lindsay began, bringing the subject back to trying to save her butt from the Harold Weir frying pan. "I just have to get that letter and I'll be ok?"
"Yup. Oh . . . one other thing I forgot. They'll probably mail a copy to your school, too."
"Really? Great. I'm dead," Lindsay said, alarmed and crestfallen at this latest piece of information that made her realize that getting away with this was going to be next to impossible.
Seeing her slump cheerlessly in the old lawn chair, Dave tried to offer comforting advice.
"Well, it would get sent to your principal's or guidance counselor's attention. Is he or she cool? Would they even care if you didn't go"?
"Rosso? He is definitely not cool. Even if he thinks he is. Shit. I'm never going to get away with this. No question he will call my parents no matter what lie I try to tell him. And . . . this is going to be all his fault because he gave me that "American Beauty" record in the first place! I am so dead."
"What about your office ladies? Are you friendly with them? You could tell them you are expecting a letter with your scores and ranking from the Summit and you'd love to see it and show it to your folks before it gets filed away. Would they give it to you if you asked"?
"I - I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm never gonna pull this off," Lindsay replied, angrily kicking the heel of her shoe into the dirt.
"Well, that letter should arrive at your house by the end of this month – at least that's when ours did – and the one to the school will probably be in a big pile of mail waiting in office to start the year. You could go down there the first day of school and at least ask, right"?
Lindsay hung her head and mumbled.
"This is never going to work. I might as well join the Army with Nick. My Dad is going to kill me . . . dead. Dead. DEAD."
under the table: Ok. So that is chapter i. I just had to relate some of the touring with the Grateful Dead experience since I spent so much time reading about it online. I wanted to introduce Dave and Heidi. They may play a role in later chapters. The events of this chapter definitely play a role in later parts of the story. Thanks to anyone who read this . . . I know it is long and I know I am long-winded when I write. I hope you enjoyed. New chapters in the shaping up process which I intend on publishing. All reviews read with a smile. Spread the word around the world about the Awesomeness that is: Freaks & Geeks!
DTaC.